Friends You Don't Understand! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Jack1000 · 03-12-2004, 04:40 AM

Guys,

All of us have had friends in our lives that from time to time just act strangly for one reason or another. I go to school with this guy "Joe." "Joe" was raised in a family of very strict parents where you did what they told you to do without question or hesitation. "Joe's" sisters were grown and gone and one of "Joe's" parents was a schoolteacher. Most of "Joe's" associations with people were friends of his parents (i.e school administrators) so all connections in his life were related to family and familiy responsibility.

"Joe" has a brother "Dave." There was about a 15 year difference in their ages, but the two of them were inseperable. The problem was "Joe" wanted to be around "Dave" all the time. Whether it was school-outings, scout meetings, or little league games "Joe" and "Davey" had to hang around together. Let's put it this way....those two made Wally and Beaver Cleaver seem like enemies!

"Joe" was a super nice guy, but unfortunately could not establish any kind of long-term relationships or friendships outside of familiy situations. When he wasn't in school he was up North (with Davey), when he wasn't at work, he was at home with Davey. He literally became a surrogate father to this kid.

He would go to people's houses for football games and sports events and have very good social skills. (More politness and compliance) but for some reason had long-term relationship problems with friends and was never really a very emotional person. He was very tied in with work and would always talk about how "Davey" did this or "Davey did that" or I have to get home because "Davey" wants to know where I am.

In addition to being just a bit too overkill on his doings with his brother to other people, "Joe" was also very insistant that family priorities come first. Six months ago or so I remember talking to him about a football game that we had planned to see for months in advance. Day of the big game comes and I call him (he never called me) and he tells me that he can't come over because he has to stay home and entertain a relative that was coming over.

This bugged me, I could understand if his parents were having a party or something, but why does he have to be there to entertain a relative? It's almost like his parents are so authoratative. WTF he can't say no to them? (He is 25 years old!)

(This is a hypothetical situation about Joe...but it's typical of him)

Suppose we had a group project in school and he was supposed to write an article summary for a report that the class had been working on. ('Yea, no problem) a couple of days go by and someone approached him he's like "Oh what???" Oh, I forgot about that??? But if someone said something that was relating to family, he'd remember that in a heartbeat. Things just go in one ear and out the other with him. He had a terrible time remembering names of people, whom he had first met.

In fact, the only time that he is remotely series about non-family invovment is if he is looking for something that is practically conveniant (i.e seeking someone to help him study for a test) or looking for someone to help him out financially (paying rent, because his parents money-wise never gave him crap)

But everything with him has always been....

I came, I saw, we did, that's it. I wonder why he is so reluctant to involve peers his own age into his life? He has broken up with woman and woman have broken up with him. Male friends (such as I) see him as just too emotionally involved with his own family. He just doesn't seem to be a peer oriented person. I was hurt by this because he is a nice guy. I still talk to him from time to time, but I wish that I could have gotten to know him better.

Jack

dawsongirl · 03-12-2004, 09:27 PM

That's a bit scary. I mean, my mom and I hang out all the time, but I still live my own damn life. Sounds like his parents screwed him up big time. Or laid a huge guilt trip on him.

Rhiannon · 03-12-2004, 10:25 PM

I know someone like. She is so obsessed with her boyfriend. We're going on a bandtrip at the end of this month so a lot of people are counting down the days. She's counting the days UNTIL WE GET BACK so she can see her boyfriend. She also doesn't want to go- because 4 days is TOO LONG to be away from home. Whatever.

Vote for me!...before 10

03-12-2004, 04:40 AM	#1
Jack1000 Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 05, 2001 Posts: 2,055	Friends You Don't Understand! Guys, All of us have had friends in our lives that from time to time just act strangly for one reason or another. I go to school with this guy "Joe." "Joe" was raised in a family of very strict parents where you did what they told you to do without question or hesitation. "Joe's" sisters were grown and gone and one of "Joe's" parents was a schoolteacher. Most of "Joe's" associations with people were friends of his parents (i.e school administrators) so all connections in his life were related to family and familiy responsibility. "Joe" has a brother "Dave." There was about a 15 year difference in their ages, but the two of them were inseperable. The problem was "Joe" wanted to be around "Dave" all the time. Whether it was school-outings, scout meetings, or little league games "Joe" and "Davey" had to hang around together. Let's put it this way....those two made Wally and Beaver Cleaver seem like enemies! "Joe" was a super nice guy, but unfortunately could not establish any kind of long-term relationships or friendships outside of familiy situations. When he wasn't in school he was up North (with Davey), when he wasn't at work, he was at home with Davey. He literally became a surrogate father to this kid. He would go to people's houses for football games and sports events and have very good social skills. (More politness and compliance) but for some reason had long-term relationship problems with friends and was never really a very emotional person. He was very tied in with work and would always talk about how "Davey" did this or "Davey did that" or I have to get home because "Davey" wants to know where I am. In addition to being just a bit too overkill on his doings with his brother to other people, "Joe" was also very insistant that family priorities come first. Six months ago or so I remember talking to him about a football game that we had planned to see for months in advance. Day of the big game comes and I call him (he never called me) and he tells me that he can't come over because he has to stay home and entertain a relative that was coming over. This bugged me, I could understand if his parents were having a party or something, but why does he have to be there to entertain a relative? It's almost like his parents are so authoratative. WTF he can't say no to them? (He is 25 years old!) (This is a hypothetical situation about Joe...but it's typical of him) Suppose we had a group project in school and he was supposed to write an article summary for a report that the class had been working on. ('Yea, no problem) a couple of days go by and someone approached him he's like "Oh what???" Oh, I forgot about that??? But if someone said something that was relating to family, he'd remember that in a heartbeat. Things just go in one ear and out the other with him. He had a terrible time remembering names of people, whom he had first met. In fact, the only time that he is remotely series about non-family invovment is if he is looking for something that is practically conveniant (i.e seeking someone to help him study for a test) or looking for someone to help him out financially (paying rent, because his parents money-wise never gave him crap) But everything with him has always been.... I came, I saw, we did, that's it. I wonder why he is so reluctant to involve peers his own age into his life? He has broken up with woman and woman have broken up with him. Male friends (such as I) see him as just too emotionally involved with his own family. He just doesn't seem to be a peer oriented person. I was hurt by this because he is a nice guy. I still talk to him from time to time, but I wish that I could have gotten to know him better. Jack

03-12-2004, 10:25 PM	#3
Rhiannon oh, snap! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Jul 19, 2002 Location: middle of nowhere Posts: 11,097	I know someone like. She is so obsessed with her boyfriend. We're going on a bandtrip at the end of this month so a lot of people are counting down the days. She's counting the days UNTIL WE GET BACK so she can see her boyfriend. She also doesn't want to go- because 4 days is TOO LONG to be away from home. Whatever. Vote for me!...before 10
	__________________ Nothing better the feeling is so fine Simply put I saw your love stream flow

03-12-2004, 09:27 PM	#2
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	That's a bit scary. I mean, my mom and I hang out all the time, but I still live my own damn life. Sounds like his parents screwed him up big time. Or laid a huge guilt trip on him.