The Verdict Is In! TJL IS GUILTY! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 03-05-2004, 10:02 PM

This is a Sitcoms Online/Court TV Exclusive!

The Sitcoms Online community was all shook up with the shocking news that Senior Member TJL was found guilty today after a long and lengthy trial.
After deliberating for nine heart-wrenching minutes, the Jury found him guilty on all counts of fraud, larceny, insider trading, counterfeiting, check forgery, boot legging, kidnapping, gun running, stock swindling, shoplifting, pocket picking, influence peddling, price gouging, dirty dancing, scene stealing, music downloading, and giving people the finger when they weren’t looking.
The judge had no choice but to throw the book at TJL, who throughout the entire ordeal has always maintained his innocence, as well as the ridiculous belief that The Six Million Dollar Man could totally kick The Incredible Hulk’s ass in a fight.
Members of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards rallied outside the courthouse in support of TJL, with many still defending their embattled colleague. “If you ask me, TJL’s innocent,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice stated. “Sure, he’s a degenerate and a drunk with no morals or sense of decency, but since when is that a crime? I’ve voted for Presidential candidates much worse than him.” Others questioned TJL’s defensive tactics during the trial. “I really think he should have hired a lawyer instead of representing himself,” courtroom observer Miss Vicki noted. “He told me he could do a good job because he watched a bunch of ‘Ally McBeal’ episodes one night, and he thought if some skinny neurotic chick could be a lawyer, he could be one too.”
With sentencing to take place next month, TJL could face anywhere from 3 months to 4000 years in prison. At a press conference on the steps of the courthouse, a courageous TJL announced he would continue to fight for his freedom. “I am proud to announce I have just hired new legal council to help me clear my good name. Ladies and gentleman, meet my new attorney, Barry Goldtoe.” With that, TJL revealed a sock puppet on his right hand, complete with button eyes and a Brooks Brothers tie. “My client is innocent,” Mr. Goldtoe shouted in a high-pitched voice. “I might also add that he is a total badass and has supercool hair. Now if you’ll excuse him, TJL has to go make out with his girlfriend Salma Hyack.”

EricIdlefan · 03-05-2004, 10:31 PM

Hope that you won't have a date in the "electric chair!!" I would hate to go smell your flesh & blood!!

PashminaDietrich · 03-05-2004, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
This is a Sitcoms Online/Court TV Exclusive!

The Sitcoms Online community was all shook up with the shocking news that Senior Member TJL was found guilty today after a long and lengthy trial.
After deliberating for nine heart-wrenching minutes, the Jury found him guilty on all counts of fraud, larceny, insider trading, counterfeiting, check forgery, boot legging, kidnapping, gun running, stock swindling, shoplifting, pocket picking, influence peddling, price gouging, dirty dancing, scene stealing, music downloading, and giving people the finger when they weren’t looking.
The judge had no choice but to throw the book at TJL, who throughout the entire ordeal has always maintained his innocence, as well as the ridiculous belief that The Six Million Dollar Man could totally kick The Incredible Hulk’s ass in a fight.
Members of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards rallied outside the courthouse in support of TJL, with many still defending their embattled colleague. “If you ask me, TJL’s innocent,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice stated. “Sure, he’s a degenerate and a drunk with no morals or sense of decency, but since when is that a crime? I’ve voted for Presidential candidates much worse than him.” Others questioned TJL’s defensive tactics during the trial. “I really think he should have hired a lawyer instead of representing himself,” courtroom observer Miss Vicki noted. “He told me he could do a good job because he watched a bunch of ‘Ally McBeal’ episodes one night, and he thought if some skinny neurotic chick could be a lawyer, he could be one too.”
With sentencing to take place next month, TJL could face anywhere from 3 months to 4000 years in prison. At a press conference on the steps of the courthouse, a courageous TJL announced he would continue to fight for his freedom. “I am proud to announce I have just hired new legal council to help me clear my good name. Ladies and gentleman, meet my new attorney, Barry Goldtoe.” With that, TJL revealed a sock puppet on his right hand, complete with button eyes and a Brooks Brothers tie. “My client is innocent,” Mr. Goldtoe shouted in a high-pitched voice. “I might also add that he is a total badass and has supercool hair. Now if you’ll excuse him, TJL has to go make out with his girlfriend Salma Hyack.”

It's a frame-up, I tells ya!

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 03-05-2004, 11:39 PM

*chains self to tree in support*

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 03-05-2004, 11:43 PM

*chains self to Crystal*

dandelion wine · 03-05-2004, 11:49 PM

Aww, we all know you're innocent.

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
This is a Sitcoms Online/Court TV Exclusive!

The judge had no choice but to throw the book at TJL, who throughout the entire ordeal has always maintained his innocence, as well as the ridiculous belief that The Six Million Dollar Man could totally kick The Incredible Hulk’s ass in a fight.

Oh... my... god.

crystals · 03-06-2004, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤
*chains self to tree in support*

*Chains self to court house door in support. *

dlemond · 03-06-2004, 01:42 AM

I don't want you to think that I have influenced the jury in any way but the dirty dancing thing got to me.

I talked to a couple people and they assured me that it had no bearing in the decision- though I paid the bastards out of my pocket.

So shine on you crazy diamond.

Come on you boy child, you winner and loser,
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!

EricIdlefan · 03-06-2004, 07:02 AM

Child Abuser
Serial Killer
Rapist
Sex addict
Porno!!

The Modfather · 03-06-2004, 08:33 AM

Cactus Jack · 03-06-2004, 08:40 AM

Pitooey · 03-06-2004, 10:51 AM

Tell the sock puppet to put me in the next jury.....

HuntingtonM15 · 03-06-2004, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
“I really think he should have hired a lawyer instead of representing himself,” courtroom observer Miss Vicki noted. “He told me he could do a good job because he watched a bunch of ‘Ally McBeal’ episodes one night, and he thought if some skinny neurotic chick could be a lawyer, he could be one too.”

Janice · 03-06-2004, 03:31 PM

The only thing you're guilty of is being the funniest member of this website.

EricIdlefan · 03-06-2004, 08:14 PM

A-men sister!!

03-05-2004, 10:02 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	The Verdict Is In! TJL IS GUILTY! This is a Sitcoms Online/Court TV Exclusive! The Sitcoms Online community was all shook up with the shocking news that Senior Member TJL was found guilty today after a long and lengthy trial. After deliberating for nine heart-wrenching minutes, the Jury found him guilty on all counts of fraud, larceny, insider trading, counterfeiting, check forgery, boot legging, kidnapping, gun running, stock swindling, shoplifting, pocket picking, influence peddling, price gouging, dirty dancing, scene stealing, music downloading, and giving people the finger when they weren’t looking. The judge had no choice but to throw the book at TJL, who throughout the entire ordeal has always maintained his innocence, as well as the ridiculous belief that The Six Million Dollar Man could totally kick The Incredible Hulk’s ass in a fight. Members of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards rallied outside the courthouse in support of TJL, with many still defending their embattled colleague. “If you ask me, TJL’s innocent,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice stated. “Sure, he’s a degenerate and a drunk with no morals or sense of decency, but since when is that a crime? I’ve voted for Presidential candidates much worse than him.” Others questioned TJL’s defensive tactics during the trial. “I really think he should have hired a lawyer instead of representing himself,” courtroom observer Miss Vicki noted. “He told me he could do a good job because he watched a bunch of ‘Ally McBeal’ episodes one night, and he thought if some skinny neurotic chick could be a lawyer, he could be one too.” With sentencing to take place next month, TJL could face anywhere from 3 months to 4000 years in prison. At a press conference on the steps of the courthouse, a courageous TJL announced he would continue to fight for his freedom. “I am proud to announce I have just hired new legal council to help me clear my good name. Ladies and gentleman, meet my new attorney, Barry Goldtoe.” With that, TJL revealed a sock puppet on his right hand, complete with button eyes and a Brooks Brothers tie. “My client is innocent,” Mr. Goldtoe shouted in a high-pitched voice. “I might also add that he is a total badass and has supercool hair. Now if you’ll excuse him, TJL has to go make out with his girlfriend Salma Hyack.”
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations Last edited by TJL; 03-05-2004 at 10:33 PM.

03-05-2004, 10:31 PM	#2
EricIdlefan USA 250th! Forum Addict Join Date: Oct 12, 2003 Location: East TN Posts: 68,236	Hope that you won't have a date in the "electric chair!!" I would hate to go smell your flesh & blood!!
	__________________ JUSA 250th Anniversary!

03-05-2004, 11:39 PM	#4
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	chains self to tree in support
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

03-06-2004, 08:40 AM	#11
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099
	__________________ Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post!

03-06-2004, 10:51 AM	#12
Pitooey Member Forum Star Join Date: Feb 15, 2001 Location: Rocking in Transylvania. Posts: 15,042	Tell the sock puppet to put me in the next jury.....
	__________________ Pitooey... AKA JennyLee - I love the Monkees all over again! *SAY NO TO DRUGS* Jesus saves...

03-05-2004, 11:43 PM	#5
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	chains self to Crystal

03-06-2004, 01:42 AM	#8
dlemond Hey, I know you. Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 03, 2001 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,751	I don't want you to think that I have influenced the jury in any way but the dirty dancing thing got to me. I talked to a couple people and they assured me that it had no bearing in the decision- though I paid the bastards out of my pocket. So shine on you crazy diamond. Come on you boy child, you winner and loser, Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!

03-06-2004, 07:02 AM	#9
EricIdlefan USA 250th! Forum Addict Join Date: Oct 12, 2003 Location: East TN Posts: 68,236	Child Abuser Serial Killer Rapist Sex addict Porno!!

03-06-2004, 08:33 AM	#10
The Modfather It Sure Does Moderator Forum Celebrity Join Date: Jul 12, 2003 Location: canada Posts: 21,149

03-06-2004, 03:31 PM	#14
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Too funny! The only thing you're guilty of is being the funniest member of this website.

03-06-2004, 08:14 PM	#15
EricIdlefan USA 250th! Forum Addict Join Date: Oct 12, 2003 Location: East TN Posts: 68,236	A-men sister!!