Blue Eyes Blue

[wingedorange]

Hehe, it gets happier...but not until the very end. Too bad this part is SO long...

Next time I really should split it up better. Assuming I get an idea to write anything this long ever again in life (anybody got any? Seriously, I'll take a stab at it! )

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Here's your story & your ending.


Part Three: Together

CD listened to Nate talk for an hour and a half, not daring to pick up the phone, but also not daring to move. Did this mean they were speaking again? Did this mean Nate wanted her back? He obviously didn’t want to scream at her – there hadn’t been a hint of anger in his voice, and his words were conversational, though his tone was slightly sad. He didn’t sound drunk, either, so he had to have known what he was doing when he dialed her number…

“Argh!” CD growled and returned to her pacing. “I have to get the **** out of this apartment,” she said to Smooch, thinking as she did that she had to be more far-gone than she thought to be speaking animatedly to a stuffed animal. She knew she’d make herself crazy if she stayed here, pacing and playing what-if games with herself all night. Before she could stop herself, she threw on an old tracksuit, grabbed her keys, and was out the door. As she hopped into her SUV, she stopped briefly to think about where she could go at 1:30 AM. Then it hit her – a bar. Perfect. She could have a few drinks; maybe clear her head a little. Good plan. She put her keys in the ignition and took off toward the nearest bar.

-------------------

Nate had finally run out of things to say into CD’s answering machine. He didn’t feel comfortable rehashing their relationship at all just yet, and he certainly didn’t feel comfortable doing it over the answering machine, in a bar full of people. He looked up and took in his surroundings…huh, guess it wasn’t that full anymore. What time was it? Nate checked his cell phone clock; it was 1:30 AM. That explained the empty bar. It was almost time for last call; people were starting to go home. That’s what I should do, thought Nate. Lonely as it is, I should just go the hell home.

-------------------

CD pulled her SUV into the Anchorside parking lot. I can’t believe I’m doing this, she thought. She’d avoided the place since she’d “moved”, afraid if she went during the day, she’ d run into somebody from the Division who’d ask all sorts of embarrassing questions…or worse, she’d run into Nate and have to explain herself. Now it was 1:30 AM. Nobody would be here now; it was almost time for last call. Just as well, CD thought. That’ll keep me from getting too wasted, so I’ll at least be able to drive myself home.

She stepped out of her car and into the building. She considered sitting at the bar, but decided she didn’t want a nosy bartender asking her why she looked like hell. CD sat down in a corner near the jukebox, hoping that no one but a waitress would notice her. Sure enough, a waitress came over holding a tray and an order pad. “What’ll it be?”

CD sighed and considered just ordering a water, but the intense pain in her head and her heart made her reconsider. “Scotch, on the rocks. Double.” Normally she wasn’t a scotch drinker…but, she told herself sarcastically, tonight’s a special occasion. When the drink arrived, she downed half of it in the first gulp, then put her head in her hands and stared at the table, growling softly at herself. “WHY didn’t I pick up the damned phone?!” she asked herself. “What am I so afraid of?” With a small start, she realized that she’d brought Smooch into the bar with her. God, I must look like a fool, sitting here with a scotch and a stuffed dog. CD placed the dog on the table and looked into his plastic brown eyes. To be honest, she was glad of the “company,” if you could call it that. “God…what’s happened to me, Smooch?” She blinked to fend off a fresh onslaught of tears, but finally gave up, crying quietly into her drink.

-------------------

Nate was just about to get up and go home, but as he dug around in his coat for his wallet, something caught his eye. Over in the corner, by the jukebox, a tall blonde woman sat at a table, crying. Nate did a double take, thinking he recognized her. But how many tall blonde women live in this city? Nate thought, and put on his coat. Just to be sure, he took one last look at the sad woman in the corner. He saw her place something on the table, something brownish that looked vaguely familiar. His heart jolted as he realized what it was. “Smooch!” He quickly paid for his drinks, his eyes never leaving the stuffed dog. If that was Smooch on the table, it only meant one thing. “CD!” he said, as his heart gave a little leap of joy.

-------------------

CD was so busy crying, so lost in thought that she didn’t’ notice the footsteps approaching her table. She didn’t look up when the person attached to the footsteps came to a stop a few inches from where she was sitting. She simply continued to sob, oblivious to everything.

-------------------

Nate’s heart broke when he saw CD up close…or at least, when he saw what part of her face wasn’t covered with her hands or her hair. He fought an automatic urge to reach out and hug her, but instead said quietly, “CD.” CD gave him no response, so Nate repeated it a little more loudly. “CD.” Finally, she seemed to stop sobbing, and Nate, taking this as an acknowledgement of his presence, moved closer to the table and put a hand on her back and softly said one word: “Candace.”

-------------------

CD slowly lifted her head from her hands, trying to brush as much hair as possible out of her face. She looked at Nate, partly joyous to see his face again, partly embarrassed as hell, and partly confused – since when did Nate look so shaggy? Looks good on him, was the only coherent thought she could manage.

-------------------

God, what the hell happened to her? Nate thought, immediately wanting to destroy whoever or whatever made his CD cry so much. He looked into her blue eyes, puffy and bloodshot, and didn’t see the twinkle he’d grown to love so deeply. Nate swore his own heart died a little in that instant, as he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

-------------------

CD’s “fight or flight” instinct kicked in as soon as the shock of seeing Nate had worn off. This was it, unexpected as it was. She either had to explain that note and her sudden departure and risk losing him again, or leave right then and lose him for sure. The sudden severity of the situation was too much for her tired, emotionally drained mind to handle, and she fought hard to keep from losing it again. CD braced herself against the table, ready for a fight – she was sure Nate hadn’t exactly come over here to ask her to dance.

-------------------

Nate watched as CD immediately went on the defensive, and sighed. She thinks I came over here to pick a fight, he thought. All I want to know is where she’s been, why she’s suddenly back. Why she’s crying like someone shot her puppy. “CD…what happened?” was all he said.

He could tell immediately that she had taken his question the wrong way. CD’s eyes flashed for a second, and Nate braced himself, thinking she was going to yell…but then she crumbled. Nate struggled to make out coherent thoughts between the strangled sobs, the hiccups, and the fact that CD was talking unusually fast, as though she had something very important that she needed to get out before she realized what she was saying.

-------------------

As soon as CD heard the question, she made her decision. Spilling the beans about the note with a fraction of a chance that he might forgive her was better than leaving without a word and losing it all. So she opened her mouth, and unleashed the floodgates – it all had to come out: her reasoning, wanting to protect him from a sudden loss, the concocted story, realizing too late that she’d screwed up. She couldn’t believe she was telling him this, and she hoped Nate could understand her through all her crying. When she’d finished emptying her soul of all the baggage it had collected in an amazingly short time, she looked up at Nate, who had been quiet through the outpouring, but whose hand still remained comfortingly on her back. “Nate…I’m so sorry. You don’t have to forgive me…but at least now you know the truth.”

-------------------

Nate looked at CD’s tearstained face, into her blue eyes that were red with crying. Without saying anything, he turned away and walked over to the jukebox.

-------------------

Oh, God, thought CD, he’s leaving. I can’t say that I blame him. But I wish that he’d say something. Then CD realized that Nate hadn’t walked away…just to the jukebox, where he was now punching in something on the keypad. What the hell…

-------------------

Nate found what he wanted, punched in the numbers, and turned back to CD’s table. Extending his hand, he said, “Come on, Candace.”

CD just blinked. Was he actually asking her to dance? “Nate…” she said, still staring at his hand, “does this mean that you forgive me?”

Nate took her hand, helped her up, and led her into the middle of the almost-empty bar. “Just dance, Candace,” he said, pulling her close to him. “Just dance.”

Not wanting to argue, CD leaned into him and closed her eyes as they swayed to the music. “Just dance.”

I thought that you'd be loving me
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever
But now forever has come and gone
And I'm still here alone
'Cause you were only playing
You were only playing with my heart
I was never waiting
I was never waiting for the tears to start

It was you who put the clouds above me
It was you who made the tears fall down
It was you who broke my heart in pieces
It was, it was you who made my blue eyes blue

I never should've trusted you.

I thought that I'd be all you need
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold
'Cause you had me believing
You had me believing in a lie
Guess I couldn't see it
Guess I couldn't see it 'til I saw "Good-bye"

It was you who put the clouds above me
It was you who made the tears fall down
It was you who broke my heart in pieces
It was, it was you who made my blue eyes blue

-------------------

CD felt better than she had in a long time, certainly better than she had earlier this evening. She smiled at the song, which she recognized as the song she’d tried to drown her thoughts in earlier that night. She wondered how Nate knew? As they danced, another wave of calm surrounded CD, and she knew she’d been forgiven.

-------------------

Nate half-smiled to himself as he danced to the song that had helped him remember the good times, had given him the courage to call CD. He was convinced that this song had led her back to the Anchorside, back to him. He knew he would forgive her. How could he not?



The end.

[CD DeLorenzo]

The longer the better

and I really LOVE this fic!!!!!!!! So how about a sequel huh?

[candace~n~nathan]

Originally posted by CD DeLorenzo
The longer the better

and I really LOVE this fic!!!!!!!! So how about a sequel huh?

You DID start a new page and all!!!




Seriously, though, that was SUCH a great fic!!!!!!!! It was WONDERFUL!!! I hope you get another idea soon, b/c I really want to read MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!

[monkeygirl]

awwwww, I have a tear, it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet!!!!!! I REALLY want a sequal. please????

[Snowfall]

This fic is so fantastic! It rocks! I'd love a sequel, as well. As for an idea, you could always write about what happens next with Nate and CD.

[wingedorange]

Wow, I'm glad everybody liked it enough to want a sequel! Believe me, I'm definitely thinking about what's going to happen to CD & Nate next...I make no promises on time frame, but I'll try to pop out a sequel for you guys.

Thanks for all the happy feedback, though!

[monkeygirl]

if we give u a new page would that persuade u? lol

[wingedorange]

*lol* I actually have a couple of ideas for small one-parters (well, I say that now...Blue Eyes Blue was a one parter until I got going...). One of them will hopefully be up in time for Valentine's Day, if that's a hint.

[CD DeLorenzo]

Originally posted by wingedorange
*lol* I actually have a couple of ideas for small one-parters (well, I say that now...Blue Eyes Blue was a one parter until I got going...). One of them will hopefully be up in time for Valentine's Day, if that's a hint.

Hmmm... Valentine's Day.... February... that's only 10 more months until christmas! It's a christmas fic!!!!!!!!! YAY!

[monkeygirl]

yay! I'm psyched!