Quotes

[Ohio8]

Anya: (to Xander)"I saw that wrinkled man on TV, talking about erectile dysfunction."
Xander: "Whoa. Hey. All systems go here. No function problem, okay?"

Anya: "Some things used to be so much simpler."

Xander: "Huh! Sometimes I don't get the sophisticated college lifestyle."

[Ohio8]

(First lines of the series.)
Darla: "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
Boy: "It's a great idea. Now, come on."

[Ohio8]

(Last line of the series.)
Dawn: "Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?"

[Ohio8]

Angel: "What's tomorrow?"
Buffy: "That's exactly what I don't know."

[Ohio8]

Glory: "I'm a god in exile. Far from the hell fires of home, and..."

Buffy: "Oh, I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the 'hokey pokey' and turn themselves around."

Buffy: "And that's what it's all about."

Buffybot: "Time to slay... Vampires of the world, beware."

Spike: "I think that was probably the big action for the night."

Anya: "Buffy's boinking Spike."

Buffybot: "No. I had sex with Spike."

The Guide: (to Buffy)"Death is your gift."

Spike: "I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow."

Buffy: "Death is my gift."

Buffy: "At least it's not a very good copy. I mean... look at it."

[Ohio8]

Faith: "Shuts her right the hell up."

Buffy: (to Caleb)"Get near Xander again, and I will end you."

Buffy: "I guess I'm just ornery."

Faith: "But the real question is, can you follow?"

[Ohio8]

Anya: "Well, it isn't always about looks."

Warren: "Welcome to the show, boys."
Andrew: "That was so hot."

Buffy: "Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business."

Xander: "...last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them."

Buffy: "That was rhetorical."

Buffy: (to Warren)"Hi. This your bank? 'cause if it's not, there's gonna be a fee for that."

Warren: "I was wondering when Super Bitch was gonna show up."
Buffy: "You really got a problem with strong women, don't you?"

Buffy: "There's two ways this can end, but right now, I'm thinkin' they're both gonna hurt."

Warren: "What's the matter, baby? You never fight a real man before?"

Warren: "Say 'good night,' bitch."
(Buffy grabs the orbs and smashes them, robbing Warren of his powers.)
Buffy: "Good night, bitch."

Andrew: "Well played, Slayer."

Xander: "Time for the Spring poking already?"

(Warren appears with a gun.)
Warren: "You think you can just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with that?... Think again."
(Warren fires five shots. One hits Buffy and knocks her down. Another shot kills Tara.)

[Ohio8]

Andrew: (narrating)"...but the Slayer had a job to do... Unfortunately, vampires have a job to do too."

Anya: "Why don't you just masturbate like the rest of us?"

[Ohio8]

Oz: (sarcastically) "That's great, man, you've really mattered the single entendre."

Cain: "I'm the one with the gun, which means I'm the one who gets to do the interviewing."

Cain: "I tore a tooth from the mouth of every werewolf that I've killed."

Giles: "That should be enough for a large werewolf."

Cain: (to werewolf) "Good doggie..."

Cain: "No wonder this town's overrun with monsters. No one here's man enough to kill 'em."
Buffy: ""Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that."
(Buffy bends the barrel of Cain's rifle.)
Buffy: (to Cain)"How about you let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town?"

[Ohio8]

Giles: "Buffy, could I have a word?"
Buffy: "Have a sentence, even."

Boy: (to Xander)"Dude. Way to get dumped."

Xander: "Right. I intend revenge, pure as the driven snow."

Giles: "People under a love spell, Xander, are deadly."

Buffy: (to Amy)"Honey, this is what your face wants."
(Buffy punches Amy.)

Cordelia: "Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're sheep."

[Ohio8]

Buffy: "Welcome to the Hellmouth."

[Ohio8]

Xander: "That's life on the Hellmouth."

[Ohio8]

Angel: (narrating) "Passion... It lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting."

Xander: "A visit from the pointed-tooth fairy."

Buffy: "Giles, Angel has an all-access pass to my house,..."

Giles: "Since Angel lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy."

Buffy: "All stuff in my house."

Angel: "What can I say? I'm a knowledge seeker."

(After he murders Jenny.)
Angel: "I never get tired of doing that."

Xander: "And if Giles wants to go after the, uh, fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say 'Faster, pussycat. Kill, kill'."

[Ohio8]

Xander: "I think he'll find her when she wants to be found."

Lily: "I, uh, know how it is when you've gotta get lost."

Ken: "Welcome to my world. I hope you like it... You're never leaving."

Lily: "I always knew I'd come here... Sooner or later... I knew I belonged here."
Buffy: "Where?"
Lily: "Hell."
Buffy: "This isn't Hell."
Ken: "Isn't it? What is Hell, but the total absence of hope? The substance, the tactile proof of despair. You're right, Lily. This is where you've been headed all your life. Just like Ricky."

[Ohio8]

Willow: "Talking about it isn't helping; we might as well try some violence."
(Zombies literally crash the party.)
Willow: "I was being sarcastic."

Joyce: (to Buffy)"Are these vampires?"
Buffy: "Uh, I don't think so."

Buffy: "No, not vampires."

Xander: "Hey, this sucker wobbles but he won't fall down."
(He hits a zombie with a fireplace poker.)

Oz: "I think the dead man's party has moved upstairs."

Xander: (to Joyce)"Generally speaking, when scary things get scared, not good."

Joyce: (to Buffy) "Soo, is this a typical day at the office?"