Why do the Baskin kids not want to see their parents??? - Page 2 - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

jptate · 03-20-2009, 11:12 PM

I'm sure they have so much to deal with right now. All they have known for the past 20 years is Marvin and Sandra. They grew to trust them and believe in them. This is their whole life in an uproar. Imagine if you suddenly found out what you believed to be true all your life, may not be true after all. But yet, you completely trust the people who told you these things. Then someone tells you your memories might not be real, but yet you feel they are. It would be a very confusing and heartbreaking time. I don't think I would run to the arms of people I had not seen in over 20 years and trust everything they say over the man who raised me and I adored. It would take some time to get through all the emotions. An extremely wide range of emotions and stress, I would imagine!

I put myself in their place. Almost 30 years old, find out the people who raised me had wrongly taken me from my parents. I haven't seen my parents in 20 years. I think I know why, but others are telling me there is more to the story. But the "parents" I love and who loved me, must be telling the truth. (And keep in mind, we don't know what Bobby and Christi were told - maybe not much, just we are moving away, we got custody or possibly much worse things.)

It would be hard to turn your back on the man you know and love, even if he did take you under false pretenses. It's obvious, at least Christi is very close to Marvin Maple. I know I couldn't turn my back immediately (or possibly ever) on the people I knew and loved all my life. To Bobby and Christi, Debbie and Mark were no longer a major part of their life. Debbie's and Mark's life did not move on without Christi and Bobby, but the Maple's made sure Chirsti's and Bobby's life did move on with out their parents.

I hope, in time, they will be willing to meet the Baskin's. But I have a feeling that may take awhile. A lot of emotions and working through things involved.

Cori aka ChrisSCrush · 03-21-2009, 01:44 AM

My sentiments have been expressed by leafygreens. All I can further say is that when evidence is presented that everything you believe concerning most of your life is a lie, just dealing with the shock takes a long time.

crochetbuff · 03-21-2009, 01:35 PM

jptate said

HTML Code:

I don't think I would run to the arms of people I had not seen in over 20 years and trust everything they say over the man who raised me and I adored.

I don't expect them to run into their parent's arms or to trust their parents, just call them and talk for 5 minutes or meet to sit down and talk for a short time you don't have to give away any allegiance to Marvin or Sandra, or even talk about the case. Just say, wow, this is crazy, how have you been, I'm doing the best I can given the situation.

As for the rest of it, what they believe, or don't believe, know for sure or don't, doesn't matter, contact your brother, contact your brother, contact your brother!!! Life is short, start a relationship with your brother!

jptate · 03-21-2009, 04:53 PM

I guess I don't feel we have any reason to expect anything from them. We can't possibly know the extent of emotional turmoil they have been and are going through. It may take them time to really come to grips with all that has happened. And very well may feel torn between legal ramifications for Marvin and speaking to their brother or loyalty to Marvin and contacting their parents or so much more.

As far as calling their brother, of course, looking from the outside in, that makes perfect sense (as well as contacting their parents), but they also have not seen him in 20 years. They may not feel the connection to him we all hope and pray they do. To them, he may seem like a total stranger. Whereas Marvin, who it may look bad upon if they do contact him, has been their life.

I also think that if they felt a strong connection to Michael, they would have, as adults, before now, contacted him. He hasn't been hard to find via the internet. So to think now that Marvin has been arrested, they'll suddenly jump at a chance to talk to him, I think is a bit unrealistic. Unless, they do not remember him, then they do not have that connection. For some reason, they have probably disconnected in some way (memory or emotionally) from the Baskins.

They are going through a really hard time right now, and I think we need to take that into account also. Everyone needs to deal with things their own way. I do hope and pray, though, that one day (hopefully sooner than later, but better later than never) Christi and Bobby will contact them all. I cannot imagine losing my children, then when I find them they don't want to see me or at least speak to me. Indeed, very heart wrenching!

From both sides, this is an extreme tragedy, IMO! No one wins here, no matter what happens from here on out.

crochetbuff · 03-21-2009, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jptate

From both sides, this is an extreme tragedy, IMO! No one wins here, no matter what happens from here on out.

So true!

synthisislab · 03-25-2009, 03:35 PM

I think they were manipulated by the grandparents and told that they were abused by their parents (most likely sexually) and that they had to flee and hide (from the parents and authorities who wanted to take them back to the "abusive" parents) so that they weren't brought back to their parents (the supposed abusers). Then after the years it was totally imprinted and ingrained in their minds so now they don't want to see their parents. That seems to be the only legitimate reason why to me, but it's pure speculation on my part.

I mean, why else wouldn't they want to be reunited with their true parents who were living so long with the hurt caused by the abduction that the grandparents did?

synthisislab · 04-24-2009, 12:53 PM

Does anyone else have any other theory (or theories) they want to add?

marlins3 · 04-27-2009, 10:54 AM

There must have been some SERIOUS brain-washing going on. they were not toddlers when they were kidnapped. They were approx. 8 or 9, I believe. They would have had real memories of their parents at one time. This is a very sad case.

crochetbuff · 04-27-2009, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marlins3

There must have been some SERIOUS brain-washing going on. they were not toddlers when they were kidnapped. They were approx. 8 or 9, I believe. They would have had real memories of their parents at one time. This is a very sad case.

Yes. They were ages 7 & 8 when taken, about ages 6 & 7 when they first went to stay with their grandparents. So they were pretty young when they were mainly under the influence of their grandparents, but still at an age when people do have memories.

After being abducted, when you don't see pictures of your family from age 7 or 8 for the next 20 years, and you don't have anyone telling you stories or refreshing your memories of events or trips or anything, you would forget most of it. You are also probably confused/traumatized from being taken, from having to move a couple of times, from changing your name several times.

Who knows, we still haven't heard from Christi or Bobby.

jptate · 04-27-2009, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crochetbuff

Yes. They were ages 7 & 8 when taken, about ages 6 & 7 when they first went to stay with their grandparents. So they were pretty young when they were mainly under the influence of their grandparents, but still at an age when people do have memories.

After being abducted, when you don't see pictures of your family from age 7 or 8 for the next 20 years, and you don't have anyone telling you stories or refreshing your memories of events or trips or anything, you would forget most of it. You are also probably confused/traumatized from being taken, from having to move a couple of times, from changing your name several times.

Who knows, we still haven't heard from Christi or Bobby.

Have you ever seen the case of Jessyca Mullenberg? She was abducted at the age of 13 and held for 3 months. She has said after only a month of being told her name was Cindy Johnson she forgot what her real name was. When the police rescued her she had to be convinced she was Jessyca. If at age 13 this could happen in one month, imagine what could be done from age 6-8 over 20 years.

crochetbuff · 04-27-2009, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jptate

Have you ever seen the case of Jessyca Mullenberg? She was abducted at the age of 13 and held for 3 months. She has said after only a month of being told her name was Cindy Johnson she forgot what her real name was. When the police rescued her she had to be convinced she was Jessyca. If at age 13 this could happen in one month, imagine what could be done from age 6-8 over 20 years.

Yes definately, I have seen it, quite chilling.
Of course she was being traumatized sexually and in a horrible situation. Seeing her story gave me some insight into brainwashing.

The Baskin children were younger than her and although being treated well by their grandparents and used to being with them, they were still being taken from their brother, their parents, all other relatives, friends, school, their home(s). Moved, names changed repeatedly, asked to lie about their true identities, still very traumatic and confusing.

Cori aka ChrisSCrush · 04-28-2009, 05:02 AM

I'm thinking of Stockholm Syndrome. Cases of people identifying with and wanting to stay with their captors go way back.

Oldschooler81 · 05-03-2009, 11:16 AM

I'm really happy to see an old case like this at least "half solved", especially since I figured it never would be. I'm also from San Jose since 1996 and am around their age so it almost feels personal (heck I wonder if I've SEEN one of them over the years and just not known it!).

There's not much I can say that hasn't already been covered, but this is a tragic story regardless. That's 20 years of Bobby & Kristi's life as well as the Baskins that'll never come back, just because the grandparents got greedy.

I'm glad they're doing alright, but like other people have said, it's probably just alot to take in all at once. Maybe Marvin mellowed out and was a good dad figure to them, which could explain why they're supportive of him.

Personally I can remember back to 1985 with selected things (like doing stuff at school, hearing a song on the radio, riding around the neighborhood with my parents... or just the basic feel of the time) and '87/88+ is pretty clear accuracy. I think around the time you start Elementary school, memories are pretty set.

Then again, I paid attention to things at an early age and maybe not everyone did. On a more serious note, it's also possible that no matter what actually happened, the whole event was so traumatic that they blocked parts of it out in their mind, or remember it wrong from the way it really happened. I've heard of that happening to people who experience events like that.

Whatever the case though, I hope they can perhaps talk at least through a third party or something. Even showing them the old UM segment, since that's the perspective most people like us have of the case, and why basically everyone is on the Baskins' side. They really came across like loving parents to me.

mphs95 · 05-03-2009, 01:41 PM

Some people are befuddled on why Kristi & Bobby are not jumping for joy @ hearing the truth.

Think about it. The life you have known for almost 20 years turns out to be a lie (as far as we know). We don't know what happened during their childhood.

I really do think the late Mrs. Maple was a control freak and her along with her hubby did something unconscionable. However, let's pray that the Baskins and their children can someday be together, if not as a family unit, then as friends as the truth comes out during Marvin's trial. When that trial starts, the Baskin children are going to need all the support they can get.

Oldschooler81 · 05-03-2009, 01:59 PM

^ I agree. That's why it's even more tragic (and I think Sandra was probably worse than Marvin, as you said) since they victimized the kids twice over if you think about it! And the Baskin parents... for depriving them of all those years.

I'd always wondered what it would've been like if they were found earlier. In retrospect (esp since I've lived in this area for a long time now) I'm surprised it took this long since they apparently always lived here. Lets say they were reunited after the initial update of the UM segment in the early 90s, that was just a couple years later. What if it was in 1995, 97 or 2000 sometime inbetween like that, would it still have been maybe in the "recent enough past" for them to remember their early life with Mark and Debbie, so they might've been a little more receptive.

I think as they got around high school age or certainy PAST that it would've been more difficult since they would've adapted more and more to their "new" life.

That really makes me wonder what those inbetween years were like for them too.

03-21-2009, 01:35 PM	#18
crochetbuff Member Forum Regular Join Date: May 16, 2007 Location: USA Posts: 545	jptate said HTML Code: I don't think I would run to the arms of people I had not seen in over 20 years and trust everything they say over the man who raised me and I adored. I don't expect them to run into their parent's arms or to trust their parents, just call them and talk for 5 minutes or meet to sit down and talk for a short time you don't have to give away any allegiance to Marvin or Sandra, or even talk about the case. Just say, wow, this is crazy, how have you been, I'm doing the best I can given the situation. As for the rest of it, what they believe, or don't believe, know for sure or don't, doesn't matter, contact your brother, contact your brother, contact your brother!!! Life is short, start a relationship with your brother!

03-20-2009, 11:12 PM	#16
jptate Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 09, 2009 Posts: 35	I'm sure they have so much to deal with right now. All they have known for the past 20 years is Marvin and Sandra. They grew to trust them and believe in them. This is their whole life in an uproar. Imagine if you suddenly found out what you believed to be true all your life, may not be true after all. But yet, you completely trust the people who told you these things. Then someone tells you your memories might not be real, but yet you feel they are. It would be a very confusing and heartbreaking time. I don't think I would run to the arms of people I had not seen in over 20 years and trust everything they say over the man who raised me and I adored. It would take some time to get through all the emotions. An extremely wide range of emotions and stress, I would imagine! I put myself in their place. Almost 30 years old, find out the people who raised me had wrongly taken me from my parents. I haven't seen my parents in 20 years. I think I know why, but others are telling me there is more to the story. But the "parents" I love and who loved me, must be telling the truth. (And keep in mind, we don't know what Bobby and Christi were told - maybe not much, just we are moving away, we got custody or possibly much worse things.) It would be hard to turn your back on the man you know and love, even if he did take you under false pretenses. It's obvious, at least Christi is very close to Marvin Maple. I know I couldn't turn my back immediately (or possibly ever) on the people I knew and loved all my life. To Bobby and Christi, Debbie and Mark were no longer a major part of their life. Debbie's and Mark's life did not move on without Christi and Bobby, but the Maple's made sure Chirsti's and Bobby's life did move on with out their parents. I hope, in time, they will be willing to meet the Baskin's. But I have a feeling that may take awhile. A lot of emotions and working through things involved.

03-21-2009, 01:44 AM	#17
Cori aka ChrisSCrush Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 30, 2001 Location: USA and still trying to be proud of it! Posts: 2,071	My sentiments have been expressed by leafygreens. All I can further say is that when evidence is presented that everything you believe concerning most of your life is a lie, just dealing with the shock takes a long time.

03-21-2009, 04:53 PM	#19
jptate Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 09, 2009 Posts: 35	I guess I don't feel we have any reason to expect anything from them. We can't possibly know the extent of emotional turmoil they have been and are going through. It may take them time to really come to grips with all that has happened. And very well may feel torn between legal ramifications for Marvin and speaking to their brother or loyalty to Marvin and contacting their parents or so much more. As far as calling their brother, of course, looking from the outside in, that makes perfect sense (as well as contacting their parents), but they also have not seen him in 20 years. They may not feel the connection to him we all hope and pray they do. To them, he may seem like a total stranger. Whereas Marvin, who it may look bad upon if they do contact him, has been their life. I also think that if they felt a strong connection to Michael, they would have, as adults, before now, contacted him. He hasn't been hard to find via the internet. So to think now that Marvin has been arrested, they'll suddenly jump at a chance to talk to him, I think is a bit unrealistic. Unless, they do not remember him, then they do not have that connection. For some reason, they have probably disconnected in some way (memory or emotionally) from the Baskins. They are going through a really hard time right now, and I think we need to take that into account also. Everyone needs to deal with things their own way. I do hope and pray, though, that one day (hopefully sooner than later, but better later than never) Christi and Bobby will contact them all. I cannot imagine losing my children, then when I find them they don't want to see me or at least speak to me. Indeed, very heart wrenching! From both sides, this is an extreme tragedy, IMO! No one wins here, no matter what happens from here on out.

03-25-2009, 03:35 PM	#21
synthisislab Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 11, 2006 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 552	I think they were manipulated by the grandparents and told that they were abused by their parents (most likely sexually) and that they had to flee and hide (from the parents and authorities who wanted to take them back to the "abusive" parents) so that they weren't brought back to their parents (the supposed abusers). Then after the years it was totally imprinted and ingrained in their minds so now they don't want to see their parents. That seems to be the only legitimate reason why to me, but it's pure speculation on my part. I mean, why else wouldn't they want to be reunited with their true parents who were living so long with the hurt caused by the abduction that the grandparents did?

04-24-2009, 12:53 PM	#22
synthisislab Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 11, 2006 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 552	Does anyone else have any other theory (or theories) they want to add?

04-27-2009, 10:54 AM	#23
marlins3 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 22, 2007 Posts: 474	There must have been some SERIOUS brain-washing going on. they were not toddlers when they were kidnapped. They were approx. 8 or 9, I believe. They would have had real memories of their parents at one time. This is a very sad case.

04-28-2009, 05:02 AM	#27
Cori aka ChrisSCrush Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 30, 2001 Location: USA and still trying to be proud of it! Posts: 2,071	I'm thinking of Stockholm Syndrome. Cases of people identifying with and wanting to stay with their captors go way back.

05-03-2009, 11:16 AM	#28
Oldschooler81 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: May 03, 2009 Location: Northern CA Posts: 457	I'm really happy to see an old case like this at least "half solved", especially since I figured it never would be. I'm also from San Jose since 1996 and am around their age so it almost feels personal (heck I wonder if I've SEEN one of them over the years and just not known it!). There's not much I can say that hasn't already been covered, but this is a tragic story regardless. That's 20 years of Bobby & Kristi's life as well as the Baskins that'll never come back, just because the grandparents got greedy. I'm glad they're doing alright, but like other people have said, it's probably just alot to take in all at once. Maybe Marvin mellowed out and was a good dad figure to them, which could explain why they're supportive of him. Personally I can remember back to 1985 with selected things (like doing stuff at school, hearing a song on the radio, riding around the neighborhood with my parents... or just the basic feel of the time) and '87/88+ is pretty clear accuracy. I think around the time you start Elementary school, memories are pretty set. Then again, I paid attention to things at an early age and maybe not everyone did. On a more serious note, it's also possible that no matter what actually happened, the whole event was so traumatic that they blocked parts of it out in their mind, or remember it wrong from the way it really happened. I've heard of that happening to people who experience events like that. Whatever the case though, I hope they can perhaps talk at least through a third party or something. Even showing them the old UM segment, since that's the perspective most people like us have of the case, and why basically everyone is on the Baskins' side. They really came across like loving parents to me.

05-03-2009, 01:41 PM	#29
mphs95 Remember me? Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 02, 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 790	Some people are befuddled on why Kristi & Bobby are not jumping for joy @ hearing the truth. Think about it. The life you have known for almost 20 years turns out to be a lie (as far as we know). We don't know what happened during their childhood. I really do think the late Mrs. Maple was a control freak and her along with her hubby did something unconscionable. However, let's pray that the Baskins and their children can someday be together, if not as a family unit, then as friends as the truth comes out during Marvin's trial. When that trial starts, the Baskin children are going to need all the support they can get.

05-03-2009, 01:59 PM	#30
Oldschooler81 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: May 03, 2009 Location: Northern CA Posts: 457	^ I agree. That's why it's even more tragic (and I think Sandra was probably worse than Marvin, as you said) since they victimized the kids twice over if you think about it! And the Baskin parents... for depriving them of all those years. I'd always wondered what it would've been like if they were found earlier. In retrospect (esp since I've lived in this area for a long time now) I'm surprised it took this long since they apparently always lived here. Lets say they were reunited after the initial update of the UM segment in the early 90s, that was just a couple years later. What if it was in 1995, 97 or 2000 sometime inbetween like that, would it still have been maybe in the "recent enough past" for them to remember their early life with Mark and Debbie, so they might've been a little more receptive. I think as they got around high school age or certainy PAST that it would've been more difficult since they would've adapted more and more to their "new" life. That really makes me wonder what those inbetween years were like for them too.