This is why I HATE this time of year.... - Page 2 - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Nighthawk76 · 12-15-2007, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walking Tall

That's the way I've always been too. I wish I wasn't.

Same here, Sonny.

80sTrivia · 12-15-2007, 06:37 PM

Mona, it's so easy to get depressed during the holiday season. I feel there's an inordinate demand for everyone to be happy & upbeat this time of the year, which can often bring about the opposite feeling!

The best thing to do for yourself is to find things you actually enjoy doing, even if they are not Christmas related. I find simple things like working a crossword puzzle can focus your mind on something different. Try not to worry about other people's expectations of you for Christmas. If there are certain holiday songs or movies that make you sad, try to avoid them. If you don't want to go out to a party and mingle with lots of people, that's okay, too. I know it's hard, but you will get through it all, with some help from your friends and family!

swedeace · 12-21-2007, 11:30 AM

Thank you all for your kind, caring words. I still don't feel any better, but I am really trying to occupy my mind. I am finding it quite difficult because there are moments when I feel like not socializing or being amongst crowds of people. Ugh!

Cathie, I am terribly sorry to hear about you and your husband's situation.

You seem to be optimistic as far as just occupying your mind and spending time with your siblings. That is very important to one's health. All the best for you, and always keep your head up high. You're doing a good job.

swedeace · 12-21-2007, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blair's Number #1 Fan

I wish I knew what to say to cheer you up. I read through your post a couple of times to see what maybe you could have done differently. Is it possible that maybe you were being standoffish around the others? Maybe the other people who were there got the impression that you didn't really want to be there or that you were not having a good time. Maybe your guy friend is right and you should have been more outgoing and talked more. I'm not sure.

I walked out because I saw he didn't talk so much with me, and he seemed to enjoy talking more with the others. We only talked "yes" and "no" type of questions/answers with each other. What sucks even more is that I just found out this past week that this guy I like had (has?) a huge crush over me! I found out through two other mutual friends of ours. Since that jealous behavior I reacted over last Thursday, I do think that it made the guy lose interest in me. In other words, it was probably a turnoff for him. D'oh!!! I always mess up in this respect! It's not fair!!! This could still be mutual! I still like him!! Oh, this makes my heart hurt sooooooooooooo damn much!!! I feel it aching in every direction.

How do I reverse this stupidity of an action I portrayed???

Sara Micelli · 12-21-2007, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

How do I reverse this stupidity of an action I portrayed???

You don't. You just learn from it.

catlover79 · 12-21-2007, 06:11 PM

I can sure relate to holiday blues. Things are better this year because I don't work in sales anymore!!

For Mona, and everyone else:

TripperFan · 12-21-2007, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swedeace

I walked out because I saw he didn't talk so much with me, and he seemed to enjoy talking more with the others. We only talked "yes" and "no" type of questions/answers with each other. What sucks even more is that I just found out this past week that this guy I like had (has?) a huge crush over me! I found out through two other mutual friends of ours. Since that jealous behavior I reacted over last Thursday, I do think that it made the guy lose interest in me. In other words, it was probably a turnoff for him. D'oh!!! I always mess up in this respect! It's not fair!!! This could still be mutual! I still like him!! Oh, this makes my heart hurt sooooooooooooo damn much!!! I feel it aching in every direction.

How do I reverse this stupidity of an action I portrayed???

You contact him asap and straighten out the misunderstanding. Just be honest and open. Now it sounds like he did get maybe not turned off, but intimidated by your actions and thought he should maybe pull back a bit. You misread his actions and he misread yours. Offer to take him out for a "Christmas drink" and clear it up. Never miss a good opportunity.

swedeace · 12-21-2007, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

You contact him asap and straighten out the misunderstanding. Just be honest and open. Now it sounds like he did get maybe not turned off, but intimidated by your actions and thought he should maybe pull back a bit. You misread his actions and he misread yours. Offer to take him out for a "Christmas drink" and clear it up. Never miss a good opportunity.

Great idea, Cathie! Thanks! One problem: I wouldn't know how to properly approach this. Read below for reasons why.

I, honestly, have no clue what the best approach this is in contacting him. I sent him a couple of text messages this past Tuesday evening asking him when he is going to show me his Tesla Coil project he's been working on (yes, he's a major science geek!). He told me that the major component of the transformer broke, so he has to replace it first. But....he was quite vague over when exactly that would be. That could be months from now! That could be in a couple of days. I dunno!

One of our mutual friends brought up a good point over why he might be retracting. Since he had that major crush over me and I was playing hard-to-get, he seemed to enjoy that challenge of me. The moment I walked out of that restaurant last Thursday and then replied to his email the next day revealing to him that I was hurt he didn't talk with me, that sort of made him think I was no longer a challenge. That friend told me that maybe he liked that whole chasing me around when I didn't seem as interested.

I do want to sit him down and talk with him, but I don't know when/how to bring that up. I was told by these friends to let him come around to me so that he will enjoy chasing me. However, what if he doesn't want to chase me anymore? I'm lost because a lot of people said we were really good for each other. I don't want to bug him where he'll be even more turned off, but I do want to allow him some space. I don't know what to do! I don't want him to forget me! This is the first time I actually don't feel creeped out when a guy has a crush on me becuase 1) I like him, and 2) he's very sweet and such a gentleman to me.

Thank you for your hug, Monika.

Sara Micelli · 12-21-2007, 10:31 PM

I think that you're over thinking this. Just call him and hash out the misunderstanding.

TripperFan · 12-22-2007, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara Micelli

I think that you're over thinking this. Just call him and hash out the misunderstanding.

I agree! Had I spent less time analysing relationships and the "games" that are played in my twenties I would have just dated a LOT more!

Not sure about your friends' theories, but it really doesn't sound like that to me. He's nervous too and was waiting for an opening to "make his move". You took that away from him when you walked out of the party. Now he's not sure what signals you're sending him - hence, not giving a time reference on his science project (LOL - I'm picturing Ross Gellar here).

Just PHONE him - no texting. It's Christmas! You have every excuse in the world to ask him out - no better time. Now get off these boards and pickup the phone!!!

Just be direct - the way you were skirting around about his project isn't direct enough and leaves room for him to be vague. I'll bet he didn't have a clue that you wanted to see him again soon. (Women tend to hedge around topics while men think directly - that's why so often they say they get "mixed signals" from females - poor guys - they really do too when you think of it!

(even when a guy is doing the chasing, he needs some sort of feedback that he's making progress - one call doesn't mean you're stalking him!)

Max Whittaker · 12-22-2007, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

I agree! Had I spent less time analysing relationships and the "games" that are played in my twenties I would have just dated a LOT more!

Not sure about your friends' theories, but it really doesn't sound like that to me. He's nervous too and was waiting for an opening to "make his move". You took that away from him when you walked out of the party. Now he's not sure what signals you're sending him - hence, not giving a time reference on his science project (LOL - I'm picturing Ross Gellar here).

Just PHONE him - no texting. It's Christmas! You have every excuse in the world to ask him out - no better time. Now get off these boards and pickup the phone!!!

Just be direct - the way you were skirting around about his project isn't direct enough and leaves room for him to be vague. I'll bet he didn't have a clue that you wanted to see him again soon. (Women tend to hedge around topics while men think directly - that's why so often they say they get "mixed signals" from females - poor guys - they really do too when you think of it!

(even when a guy is doing the chasing, he needs some sort of feedback that he's making progress - one call doesn't mean you're stalking him!)

Agreed! Please call him. You lose nothing by being direct... now that you know it's mutual. And it's certainly true that men... or at least I, need a direct answer: will you go out with me? Yes? No? Do you like me? Yes? No? All these games that are played in dating frustrate me.

At least you'll know.

Gee. This brings back some memories...

swedeace · 12-22-2007, 04:44 PM

Before I reply to the above messages, I wanted to ask something....

Do you think I should just send him a quick text and tell him that I would like to meet him for coffee (or, dessert, since he's not a coffee drinker) tomorrow evening after I get off work because I would like to talk with him? Or, shall I just invite him over to my place? I want us to talk, but I don't want to sound TOO available. Argh...

I noticed he logged in yesterday, but he did not reply to my message from last Sunday. Usually, he'll always reply, but I fear he's getting out of touch. I feel helpless!!!

swedeace · 12-22-2007, 06:10 PM

Since I didn't get any quick advice when I posted here over an hour ago....

, I decided to text him. We're texting back and forth, and he is basically saying he needs more space than he thought and doesn't want to socialize much with anyone until the 31st of December (swing dancing New Years' event). *sigh* I've f'ed up!

swedeace · 12-22-2007, 06:21 PM

He wants to meet up after the 14th of January. *sigh* That's a freakin' break!!! We all know where that will turn up, right????

I tell ya....karma's after me. I did the same damn thing with the French guy I dated over the summer. And, that turned out bad!

swedeace · 12-22-2007, 06:23 PM

Update: He says he wants to meet alone after that. Till then, his brain needs to think.

Okay...i'm my way to work!! Later!!

12-15-2007, 06:37 PM	#17
80sTrivia Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 23, 2002 Posts: 21,714	Mona, it's so easy to get depressed during the holiday season. I feel there's an inordinate demand for everyone to be happy & upbeat this time of the year, which can often bring about the opposite feeling! The best thing to do for yourself is to find things you actually enjoy doing, even if they are not Christmas related. I find simple things like working a crossword puzzle can focus your mind on something different. Try not to worry about other people's expectations of you for Christmas. If there are certain holiday songs or movies that make you sad, try to avoid them. If you don't want to go out to a party and mingle with lots of people, that's okay, too. I know it's hard, but you will get through it all, with some help from your friends and family!
	__________________ Perfect Gift Books for Pop Culture Fanatics: Thank You for Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book The Bouquet Residence: A Keeping Up Appearances Trivia Book Cooking With the Golden Girls: Fun & Delicious Recipes from a Hilarious Miami Kitchen Love in the Afternoon: The Ultimate Soap Opera Trivia Book The Last Great Decade: The Ultimate 90s Trivia Book Betty White: A Celebration

12-21-2007, 06:11 PM	#21
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	I can sure relate to holiday blues. Things are better this year because I don't work in sales anymore!! For Mona, and everyone else:
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

12-21-2007, 11:30 AM	#18
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Thank you all for your kind, caring words. I still don't feel any better, but I am really trying to occupy my mind. I am finding it quite difficult because there are moments when I feel like not socializing or being amongst crowds of people. Ugh! Cathie, I am terribly sorry to hear about you and your husband's situation. You seem to be optimistic as far as just occupying your mind and spending time with your siblings. That is very important to one's health. All the best for you, and always keep your head up high. You're doing a good job.

12-21-2007, 10:31 PM	#24
Sara Micelli Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 14, 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 3,122	I think that you're over thinking this. Just call him and hash out the misunderstanding.

12-22-2007, 04:44 PM	#27
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Before I reply to the above messages, I wanted to ask something.... Do you think I should just send him a quick text and tell him that I would like to meet him for coffee (or, dessert, since he's not a coffee drinker) tomorrow evening after I get off work because I would like to talk with him? Or, shall I just invite him over to my place? I want us to talk, but I don't want to sound TOO available. Argh... I noticed he logged in yesterday, but he did not reply to my message from last Sunday. Usually, he'll always reply, but I fear he's getting out of touch. I feel helpless!!!

12-22-2007, 06:10 PM	#28
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Since I didn't get any quick advice when I posted here over an hour ago.... , I decided to text him. We're texting back and forth, and he is basically saying he needs more space than he thought and doesn't want to socialize much with anyone until the 31st of December (swing dancing New Years' event). sigh I've f'ed up!

12-22-2007, 06:21 PM	#29
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	He wants to meet up after the 14th of January. sigh That's a freakin' break!!! We all know where that will turn up, right???? I tell ya....karma's after me. I did the same damn thing with the French guy I dated over the summer. And, that turned out bad!

12-22-2007, 06:23 PM	#30
swedeace Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 22, 2003 Posts: 9,009	Update: He says he wants to meet alone after that. Till then, his brain needs to think. Okay...i'm my way to work!! Later!!