8.11 Home Again II

[BeatleMoe]

CARLENE: This day is so exciting!
MARY JO: I know! It's been three years now.
JULIA: Well, we all knew when Charlene coming home was going to happen soon!
SUZANNE: Well, I can't believe that Charlene and the colonel had another baby! But that Olivia should be almost big by now.
ANTHONY: Where are Charlene and Bill now?
CARLENE: Well, they first went to Poplar Bluff to see Mama and Daddy and the family, then they are going to see Bill's aunt and mama, and then they'll be here.
JULIA: Well, with this new war on Iraq, won't Bill be back overseas?
MARY JO: Well, according to Charlene, he probably won't be called back over there unless things get really ugly. Where's Bernice?
JULIA: She's at the store getting decorations and food and soda for the party.
SUZANNE: I can't believe you sent that loopy old woman to the grocery store, Julia!
JULIA: It would have been nice if you went with her, Suzanne.
SUZANNE: I don't do grocery stores, Julia. Consuela does the shopping.
ANTHONY: Well, I'm going over to the house to pick Etienne up. She's been waiting to meet Charlene.
MARY JO: Well, you are going to tell her your big news, aren't you Carlene?
JULIA: What big news?
CARLENE: Well, y'all know that I've been seeing Dwyane Dobber, right?
MARY JO: I'm trying to digest that one.
CARLENE: Well, we've been going out for awhile again, and Dwyane has just changed so much. But, I think I'm pregnant.
JULIA: Carlene!
SUZANNE: Weren't you careful?
CARLENE: Well, we tried to be, but I don't think we took all of the precautions.
MARY JO: I should say not!
SUZANNE: Why don't you take that birth control stuff orthapedictricycle?
JULIA: That's "orthotycyclan," you bubblehead!
CARLENE: Well, I'll tell Charlene later, okay?
Later that day...
MARY JO: I must admit that Bernice did a bang up job on the decorations.
BERNICE: Thank you. I just copied one of the "Glad you're leaving" parties we used to throw and Hillcrest Leisureland.
ANTHONY: I just heard a car door slam!
JULIA: Everyone hide! (all hides but Suzanne, whose painting her nails) Suzanne!
SUZANNE: What!? My nails are wet!
CARLENE: Get over here!
SUZANNE: Oh, all right!
The door opens. They all yell surprise when ALLISON walks through the door.
ALLISON: Well, gosh everybody! I'm so glad to see you too!
The ladies look at each other...
To be continued...

[BeatleMoe]

The time is about a half hour later. Allison is the only one eating the treats.
BERNICE: I don't get what's wrong with you people. The party is not for Allison, so why don't you tell her?
JULIA: Because, Bernice, I have never seen her so happy before.
BERNICE: Well, if you were her true friends, you'd tell her.
SUZANNE: No we wouldn't. I don't even like her at all. She's stuck up, thinks only of herself, and has bad taste.
MARY JO: Suzanne, don't put yourself down.
CARLENE: Oh no, here comes Charlene and Bill!
ALLISON: Well, Charlene is coming back! This is quite a day! I mean, first off, you went completely out of your way for me, then old Charlene's due to walk through that door.
(door opens, and in walks Charlene and Bill)
CHARLENE: Hey y'all!
CARLENE: (screams) How are ya?!
MARY JO: Oh come here! (they hug) Hey Bill!
BILL: Hello.
JULIA: Charlene, how are you?
CHARLENE: Oh, I'm just great! Suzanne! How was Japan?
SUZANNE: Oh, just dandy! (hugs her) Let us see that Livvie!
CHARLENE: Can you believe that she just turned four this year? And I want you to meet our son, Bill, Jr.
JULIA: He is just precious.
ALLISON: Well, Charlene! How pleasant it is to see you!
CHARLENE: Gosh, Allison, I think this is the first time you got my name right.
ALLISON: Yes it is. (gives a disapproving look) I hope you never met the queen in those shoes.
CHARLENE: Is she still partner?
JULIA: No she's not. She just pulled her shares for a Victoria's Secret line.
ALLISON: And I'm doing well, too. Weren't they great? They threw a surprise party and everything. Then you showed up. That's a plus.
BERNICE: Allison, are you that stupid?
CARLENE: Bernice...
BERNICE: This party was supposed to be for Charlene. And you ruined it by showing up!
ALLISON: Well, you all knew that I was coming didn't you?
JULIA: No, we didn't.
ALLISON: Well I sent a letter.
SUZANNE: Oh, well I can explain that.
ALLISON: Oh really? How?
SUZANNE: I read it, then used it to do my nails on.
ALLISON: Well...(in shock) I guess I got the wrong idea again.
BERNICE: You got that right, sister.
Scene transitions to 2 hours later.
BILL: I'm going to take the kids to the house.
CHARLENE: All right. Night honey.
JULIA: Those beautiful children are just precious.
MARY JO: Where's Allison?
CARLENE: She's still locked in the store room. Boy, Bernice really hurt her feelings.
JULIA: Well, if anybody's to blame, it's Suzanne's fault.
SUZANNE: Excuse me? Look, I didn't feel that she was important. I say big woo! to that!
CHARLENE: What surprises me is that Anthony is going to be a daddy.
MARY JO: Yeah. He's in the bathroom with Etienne now making sure she doesn't hurl all over herself.
CHARLENE: Well, I was wondering if I could start back to work Monday?
JULIA: Sure.
CARLENE: Whoa wait a minute! What about me?
SUZANNE: Your sister's back Carlene. We don't need you anymore.
MARY JO: Suzanne!
JULIA: I guess we never discussed the ramifications on that one.
CARLENE: Well...! (heads over to the store room)
CHARLENE: What are you doing Carlene?
CARLENE: I'm joining Allison. She's not the only one who got the surprise of her life!
To be concluded...

[BeatleMoe]

MARY JO: Look, I think Carlene should stay on here. Why can't both of them stay?
SUZANNE: Because, Carlene is not partner.
JULIA: Well she is now.
CHARLENE: Julia, what do you mean? Hired and fired in five minutes does seem a little tacky to me. I just got home!
JULIA: Relax, Charlene. Carlene, Allison, could you come out here?
MARY JO: Why are you calling Allison?
ANTHONY: I think she wants to rub in that Allison won't be coming back to work.
CARLENE: Look Julia, I know that I have only spent the last four years here, but I think I am ready to go back home.
JULIA: Don't be silly. This is what we are going to do. We are all going to take part of our shares, little parts of them, and then give them to you.
CHARLENE: Hey! That's a great idea! That way you would be an equal partner.
ALLISON: What about me? I used to have controlling interest.
SUZANNE: Oh, no. Trust me, you didn't.
ALLISON: Well, I bought your share.
SUZANNE: I was just PR girl. Julia has always had controlling interest.
MARY JO: That's right, Allison.
ANTHONY: You're skinny white butt didn't mean that much.
ALLISON: Well, I should get something. After all, I did put Carlene through school.
JULIA: All right, Allison. This is the way it works. Carlene, you will be assisting on the invoices and going on deliveries with Anthony.
CARLENE: That sounds fair.
JULIA: And Allison, you will be going on PR lunches with Suzanne. She needs an interpreter on those fancy business words.
ALLISON: That sounds fair, I guess.
SUZANNE: What?! I can't work with her!
JULIA: (grabs Suzanne's hair) Oh yes you will. I do have the controlling interest on this business.
SUZANNE: Oh, fine!
ANTHONY: Damn!
MARY JO: What is it Anthony.
ANTHONY: I now have six women working over me.
CHARLENE: Well, it's finally good to be home!

End