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Old 04-05-2026, 10:17 AM   #1
Sgt. Saunders
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Default Regarding Lumpy Rutherford’s Athletic Ability

In addition to observing the many instances of Wally Cleaver’s superb talent as an multi-sport athlete (and student) at both The Grant Avenue School and especially at Mayfield School, we would also occasionally hear about Lumpy Rutherford’s athletic experiences at Mayfield High.

I believe that in the LITB episode where Wally gets unfairly suspended from the track team as a result of one of the devious Eddie Haskell’s underhanded pranks, we found out that Lumpy was a shot-putter on the team.

Of course, in the LITB sixth season episode, “Lumpy’s Scholarship,” we found out that while the outstanding student/athlete Wally Cleaver was turned down for a full athletic scholarship at State University, Lumpy was offered a full athletic scholarship at State University as a result of Lumpy’s “outstanding” play as a starting guard for the Mayfield High School football team.

Gee, that was some sudden revelation (after six years) about the “Lumpster”
being such a great football player! In that episode, Ward and Wally recall that Lumpy was hailed by a sportswriter for the Mayfield Gazette as a “block of
granite” in the way that Lumpy would routinely block two opposing defensive
linemen in his games for Mayfield High.

Now all of this talk about Lumpy being such a great athlete came as a big surprise to me. You’d almost think that Lumpy had the athletic makings of eventually being another Jerry Kramer or Jim Tyrer as an All-Pro guard in the NFL.

Well, no offense to the late Frank Bank, but he hardly had the build of an outstanding high school guard back then; the “slightly” rubenesque Lumpy looked more like a young Victor Buono than a young Tom Mack, if the truth be told.

And, as Ward pointed out to Wally and the rest of the Cleaver family, schools like State University were looking for high school seniors who were both “top flight students and top flight athletes.” Well, I think it’s fair to say that Lumpy was hardly a “a top flight student,” what with Lumpy’s regrettable academic record at
Mayfield High.

So, believing that Lumpy Rutherford was a stud football player at Mayfield High was about as believable as that the “very outgoing” Marlene Holmes had once been the “Sweetheart of Sigma Chi” at State University.

Beam me up, Julie Foster!

PS Do you think that June would be serving the traditional Easter Sunday dinner ham at the Cleaver home today?

Happy Easter to all of the LITB fans of “a certain age” around the world.
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Old 04-05-2026, 01:57 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgt. Saunders View Post
PS Do you think that June would be serving the traditional Easter Sunday dinner ham at the Cleaver home today?
The house would be filled with the smell of fatty ham and pineapple and a whiff of clove.

They are back from church and the boys have changed into comfy clothes.

Ward is reading the paper.

June is getting the dining room table ready for the spread.
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Old 04-05-2026, 02:42 PM   #3
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I think they were just assuming that big = strong

From Gilligan's Island:

Skipper: Football was my game in high school. I played the line.
Johnathan Kincaid: Oh? What position?
Skipper: No position. I was the line. Ha ha ha!
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Old 04-05-2026, 09:26 PM   #4
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Doesn't Beaver's athletic ability fluctuate quite often too?
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Old 04-05-2026, 09:28 PM   #5
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Good observations about "The Lump."

Happy Easter to Beaver fans (and non-fans) everywhere!
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Old 04-05-2026, 09:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
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Doesn't Beaver's athletic ability fluctuate quite often too?
Yes, in the fifth season he can't even dribble or even toss a basketball, and by the next season he's catching a pass for a touchdown in football.
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Old 04-11-2026, 02:47 PM   #7
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My family used to eat baked ham on Easter Sunday.

However, my nieces don't like ham. So now I'm told to expect pork chops tomorrow, while I much prefer the ham with pineapple etc. (Eastern Orthodox "Pascha" is 1 week later than Western Easter this year, as is often how the date falls.)

The baked ham made for superior leftovers too. I'm a horrible cook, but I would cut up pieces of ham and mix them with stovetop scalloped potatoes. Or put them into one of the Banquet "Homestyle Bakes" mixes that went into the oven with a layer of biscuits on top. Lumpy would've approved of the results I think.
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