A Honeymooners Easter:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Easter:

(Ralph & Ed come into the Kramden apartment with an Easter Bunny costume. They greet Alice & Trixie.)

Ralph: “Alice, guess what? I’m the Easter Bunny at the Raccoon Lodge Easter play.”

Alice: “Ralph, that’s so great.”

Ed: “He will be the fattest Easter Bunny of all time.”

Ralph: “I have to go down a rabbit hole in the play. They say that I need to lose weight for this. I do not.”

Alice: “Ralph, we think you should.”

Ralph: “Who asked for your opinions? I DO NOT need to lose weight for this. I am perfectly fine. Besides I don’t have time. I’m a busy person. I have to play pool and watch TV.”

Ed: “He’s a busy man.”

Trixie: “Ralph, you may get stuck in the hole and you may get humiliated.”

Ralph: “That WILL NOT happen to me Trixie. I will show you all just like I always do.”

Ed: “You always prove us right.”

Ralph (to Ed, yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT!” GEEEEEET OUT!”

(The Nortons leave.)

(The night of the play. Ralph comes out in a pink bunny costume.)

Ralph (singing): “Here comes Peter Cottontail/Hopping down the bunny trail/…”

(Ralph goes into a “rabbits hole” and gets stuck.)

(Ed is seen watching off stage.)

Ed: “Sheesh.”

(The wives look on as Ralph is humiliated and laughed at.)

(Ed comes on stage and soaks Ralph with Olive Oil. Ralph is now upset at Ed and chases him but rests after a few seconds of running. This causes more laughter.)

(They all arrive back in the Kramden apartment.)

Alice: “What do you have to say for yourself Ralph? If you were only sensible you wouldn’t have been humiliated.”

Ralph: “Ooooooh.”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)

Jackie: “Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)