A Honeymooners St.Patty’s Day: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-14-2026, 06:51 AM

A Honeymooners St.Patty’s Day:

(Alice & Ralph are arguing.)

Alice: “What you and Ed are doing is ridiculous Ralph.”

Ralph: “Alice, I am telling you. In the fountain at the Paramus Park Mall today, there is beer in it as well as gold coins that are worth millions. That’s why me and Norton are getting them. Don’t you want to be rich Alice?”

Alice: “Yeah but I want to be rich in money not rich in how many times my husband made a fool of himself.”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot. Me and Norton are doing it.”

Alice (yells): “NO, YOU ARE NOT.”

Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.”

Alice (yells): “NO, YOU ARE NOT.”

Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.”

Alice (yells): “NO, YOU ARE NOT.”

Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.”

Alice (yells): “YES, YOU ARE.”

Ralph (yells): “NO, I AM NOT.”

Alice (yells): “RIGHT.”

Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.”

(They continue arguing well into the night. Ralph & Ed sneak out and go to the Paramus Park Mall on St. Patty’s Day.)

Ralph: “We snuck out Ed. We will make fools of our wives.”

Ed: “Inside that head is a thinking machine.”

Ralph: “We are at the fountains. Let’s jump in.”

Ed: “This will be like a day in the sewer except we will be rich.”

(They go in. After Ed accidentally gets Ralph wet, Ralph gets Ed wet. They soon act like little kids with beer going everywhere. Ralph falls into the beer. The wives and cops come.)

Alice: “Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself? Look at the mess you and Ed made.”

Trixie: “Yeah.”

Ralph: “We are just getting those million dollar gold coins so we can rich. I read about it in the Enquirer and Wikipedia which are always 100% truthful.”

Cop: “Sir, that is incorrect. I just heard that that news came out as false. You two are under arrest. You two have to clean this up as community service.”

Ed: “Looks like another one of your plans got all wet.”

Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE GONNA GET IT NORTON.”

(Ralph goes to fight Ed. People break it up.)

(A still wet Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie (yells): “THANK YOU. HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY. THE MIAMI BEACH CROWDS ARE THE BEST. GOOD NIGHT.”

(Crowd cheers.)

03-14-2026, 06:51 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,153	A Honeymooners St.Patty’s Day: A Honeymooners St.Patty’s Day: (Alice & Ralph are arguing.) Alice: “What you and Ed are doing is ridiculous Ralph.” Ralph: “Alice, I am telling you. In the fountain at the Paramus Park Mall today, there is beer in it as well as gold coins that are worth millions. That’s why me and Norton are getting them. Don’t you want to be rich Alice?” Alice: “Yeah but I want to be rich in money not rich in how many times my husband made a fool of himself.” Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot. Me and Norton are doing it.” Alice (yells): “NO, YOU ARE NOT.” Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.” Alice (yells): “NO, YOU ARE NOT.” Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.” Alice (yells): “NO, YOU ARE NOT.” Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.” Alice (yells): “YES, YOU ARE.” Ralph (yells): “NO, I AM NOT.” Alice (yells): “RIGHT.” Ralph (yells): “YES, I AM.” (They continue arguing well into the night. Ralph & Ed sneak out and go to the Paramus Park Mall on St. Patty’s Day.) Ralph: “We snuck out Ed. We will make fools of our wives.” Ed: “Inside that head is a thinking machine.” Ralph: “We are at the fountains. Let’s jump in.” Ed: “This will be like a day in the sewer except we will be rich.” (They go in. After Ed accidentally gets Ralph wet, Ralph gets Ed wet. They soon act like little kids with beer going everywhere. Ralph falls into the beer. The wives and cops come.) Alice: “Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself? Look at the mess you and Ed made.” Trixie: “Yeah.” Ralph: “We are just getting those million dollar gold coins so we can rich. I read about it in the Enquirer and Wikipedia which are always 100% truthful.” Cop: “Sir, that is incorrect. I just heard that that news came out as false. You two are under arrest. You two have to clean this up as community service.” Ed: “Looks like another one of your plans got all wet.” Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE GONNA GET IT NORTON.” (Ralph goes to fight Ed. People break it up.) (A still wet Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie (yells): “THANK YOU. HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY. THE MIAMI BEACH CROWDS ARE THE BEST. GOOD NIGHT.” (Crowd cheers.)