Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Hero" & "Great Jewel Robbery":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Hero" & "Great Jewel Robbery":

Episode #98 (Syndicated Episode #97/98)
TV: In two-parts.
VCR: Attached to "Manager of The Baseball Team" (1953 version or '57 version depending on what tape you have.)
DVD: Attached to "Two Tickets to the Fight" & "People's Choice." On the Restored Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Cupid”, “The Hypnotist”, “Cupid” & “A Little Man Who Wasn’t There.”
Air Date: Sat. 2/19/55

"Hero":

Tommy, a fatherless boy and newcomer in the building, comes by the Kramdens a lot and all he says to Ralph is: "Hello Mr. Kramden" & "Goodbye Mr. Kramden." Ralph thinks that the boy is a pest. When the boy comes by again, Ralph confronts him in a nice way. When Tommy sees Ralph opening a can of pickles very easily, he thinks that he is a very strong guy while others, according to him, thinks he's just a load of fat. Ralph says that all that stuff about him being strong is true. When Tommy mentions about how well Ralph played stick ball, Ralph agrees with him until Tommy mentions that the ball went into someone's window. Tommy: "I sure hope to become an athlete like you." Ralph: "It takes a lot of physical condition though. Got to work hard to get a body like this. I one time fought for the Golden Gloves Championship. I was called the 'wild bull of Bensonhurst.'" Ralph mentions other accomplishments that he "did" like: (The Wild Bull of Bensonhurst, they called him), that he almost pitched for the Brooklyn Dodgers (he would have been playing today if he hadn't hurt his pinky), that he could lift four hundred pounds when he was seventeen, that he had a glorious football career (whenever he played the crowd said: 'Come on 'Snake Hips''), and that he was an Eagle Scout. Ralph: "I have put on a couple of pounds since then but I still go to the gym. My stomach is all hard." Gee, Ralph goes to the gym? He asks Tommy to punch him in his "rock hard" stomach, but stops when he sees Tommy wind up, getting ready to hit Ralph. Tommy says that a friend of his, Harvey, says that when Ralph gets hit with a punch, Ralph falls down. He asks Tommy to punch him in his "rock hard" stomach, but stops when he sees Tommy wind up, getting ready to hit Ralph. Ralph: "You might want to play the violin later on."

Ed Norton comes in and Tommy explains that Ralph was a great football player. Ed: "The story is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." Tommy: "Ralph was a great end in football." Ed: "Probably the biggest end in the business." Tommy leaves. Ralph says that Ed is jealous because Tommy idolizes him. Ed says that he can beat Ralph in a chicken fight. They chicken fight each other, just as Alice comes in with all of the accomplishments that Tommy told Alice about Ralph. Ralph says "fins" to stop the fight. Alice: "When was the last time you ever lifted 400 pounds?" Ed: "This morning when he got out of bed." When Ralph hears that Tommy is going to write a report about him, Ralph and Ed think it's time for Ralph to tell him the truth but not before Ralph thinks that Alice is jealous of him. When Ed resumes the chicken fight with Ralph, he accidentally knocks Ralph down into the bedroom. Alice: "'Snake hips just crashed through for another touchdown.'"

At the school, Tommy's teacher, Mrs. Halloway, is talking about Tommy's paper. She reveals to her friend that she had a student named "Ralph Kramden" 20 years ago. Tommy and Harvey have been fighting over Ralph. When the teacher leaves for lunch, she mentions a story about before she got married 20 years ago, her last name was: "Miss Touey." Mrs. Halloway: "Every morning, someone would write: 'Miss Touey is a lot of phooey' with an unflattering picture. She leaves and when Ralph and Ed walk in they go over the desks and the blackboard. Ralph: "This was my classroom twenty years ago." Ed Norton says he must have been his classroom too. Ralph says to Ed not to scrape a piece of chalk on the blackboard because the sound it makes drives him nuts. Ed does it anyway for one to two seconds but the mark on the board indicates to me that he couldn't have made a mark like that with so little time. Ralph goes nuts because of the noise and yells at Ed. Ralph also says that he used to have a teacher called Miss Touey and that every morning, he would write: 'Miss Touey is a lot of phooey' with an unflattering picture (that being an animal's head). Mrs. Halloway catches him in the act when she comes back and reveals herself to be Miss Touey. Ralph introduces Ed Norton to her whom she says: "I had two Ed Nortons. One was very smart." Ralph: "This is the other Ed Norton." Gee, that wasn't nice of Ralph. Mrs. Halloway goes over Tommy's paper that talks about all the fictional things about Ralph. Tommy is in search of a hero. When Tommy says that he and Ralph are going to do great on a father-and-son Eagle Scout trip this weekend. Ralph hears about what Tommy wrote from the teacher and instead of telling Tommy the truth about him and the fact that he won't do good on the Eagle Scout trip, he decides to practice for all the events on the Eagle Scout trip of course with Ed's help (much to Ed's chagrin). Ralph tries one of the events (tying a special kind of knot in 25 seconds) and when he ties a knot in 25 seconds, he invents a new knot. Ralph tries all the other events: "blowing a bugle, leaf identification (which he almost gets poison oak), and tracking and stalking." Alice and McGarrity are upset that Ralph is making all this noise. Alice goes to bed so Ralph tries to blare the horn to annoy her but only ends up hurting his eardrum. When Ralph and Ed try tracking and stalking (the idea behind tracking and stalking is that one person must literally drop clues with the head of the "clues" pointing to the direction that the other person must follow), Alice wakes up and according to her, Ralph is only thinking of himself. That idea falls flat when a cop sees them and orders them to stop. Alice (to the cop): "This pudgy scout is my little boy." The cop leaves. Ralph says that now he should try rubbing sticks together. Alice says no. Alice: "We are not going to have the fire department over here too." Alice shows Ralph the correct way to do all the things that he did (blowing a horn, tying a knot etc.).

The next day, Trixie comes by and talks to Alice. She wonders what will Ralph do as far as the Eagle Scout trip (Ralph was too stubborn to admit the truth to Tommy). She leaves and Ralph comes home from work (claiming his arm is injured). Alice claims that the injury is fake and Ralph doesn't want to compete and be embarrassed. Ralph says that it is real. Tommy arrives in his Boy Scout uniform, and Ralph tells him he can't participate because of his arm. Then Ralph's conscience takes over and he confesses that he's a fake. Tommy says he doesn't care, because they're pals and because Ralph was going to the Scout meeting because he wanted to, and not out of obligation like many of the boys' fathers were. By telling the truth, Ralph's an even bigger man in the end. Ralph says that he is a winner because he's married to Alice.

This episode marks one of the few times a kid had a very important role on the show and had to act as well. Jackie must have had a lot of trust in this kid because he didn't like having kids as his co-stars because he was afraid that they would never act on cue (and when he recorded a show live, that only intensified his fears.)

Episode #99 (Syndicated Episode #45)
TV: A half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Guest Speaker."
DVD: Attached to "Guest Speaker", “Lawsuit” & Jackie Gleason Valentine's Special that MPI made. On the Restored Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Cupid”, “The Hypnotist”, “Hero” & “A Little Man Who Wasn’t There.”
Color Episode Title: "Nephew of The Bride."
Lost Episode Title: "Great Jewel Robbery."
Air Date: Sat. 2/26/55

"Great Jewel Robbery":

Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers for a wedding present for the boss's daughter. He hopes the gift will mean a raise for the drivers--and maybe a promotion for himself. He meets with Ed for lunch and I think this is the scene where Ralph switches lunches with Ed Ed's lunch is so bad (and/or probably hot) that when Ralph eats it, he stands up, has a weird look on his face and yells in pain for water. So Ed throws a cup of water at him. This whole moment is so funny that you would be in stitches (probably from Jackie's PRICELESS expression on his face when he eats the food and his PRICELESS yell in "pain"). Soon after that, Ralph & Ed go to Steinhart's Jewelry Store to get the watch and have it mailed to the apartment.

It's also Alice's birthday and when Alice's mother comes by with an expensive gift, she basically says it's terrible that she is married to Ralph. She also says that he forgot it was Alice's birthday. Ralph comes home. Alice's mom: "Hello Ralph." Ralph: "Hello. How could you tell it was me?" Alice's mom: "I can hear the floor sag." A battle royal of an argument between the two of them starts which includes trading insults like Ralph saying to Alice's mom: "You were never Alice's age." Ha! A delivery boy from Steinhardt's jewelry store arrives with a package that contains a watch Ralph bought for the boss's daughter. Alice thinks it's her birthday gift and is ecstatic. She praises Ralph up and down to her mother and saying that he's the best husband in the world. Sure. Ralph is ashamed to admit the truth that he forgot Alice's birthday.

At the poolroom with Ed, Ralph tells him about his problem and they come up with a scheme on how to get the watch back without letting Alice know it isn't hers. Norton will get one of his pals to pose as a burglar, hold up the Kramdens, and take the watch. He ends up calling his friend on a pay phone and it's a party line so his friend doesn't want to reveal where he works so Ed says that both he and his friend, who is an amateur actor, work in a bank and that Ed saved his friend from drowning in the loans department. Ha! The plan is set. While Ralph and Norton were devising their plan, a real crook overhears them and decides to show up at the Kramdens' before Norton's friend gets there. When he shows up saying: "Stick 'em up!" Ralph thinks he is Norton's friend and is acting badly and asks him to come in again when Alice is in the room. When he shows up, Ralph thinks he's Norton's friend and practically hands him the watch. While the crook's examining the goods, Alice plunks him with a frying pan and knocks him cold. She rushes out to call the cops, but Ralph revives him and sends him on his way, with some extra loot to boot. Ralph thinks that the title of "amateur actor" really belongs to Ed's friend and that is the last time that he ever listens to Norton. When Ed's friend really shows up, Ralph realizes what he has done.

Later, Ralph says that he will not go down to work tomorrow or anymore (he won't dare say the real reason why). So he covers it up, by saying that Arabia is looking for welders and he wants to apply for the job. Ralph tells Alice the real story about him forgetting her birthday and the watch. He apologizes. The cops come in with the news that they have caught the crook and retrieved the watch. Alice is heartbroken, but she returns the watch. Now Ralph must decide between giving the watch to the boss's daughter as planned, or giving the watch back to Alice and being in debt to the guys at the depot. He gives Alice the watch. He doesn't care if some guys beat him up down at the bus depot or not. He cares about Alice. He thinks about what he said for a few seconds before asking Alice for the watch back.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

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