A Honeymooners Columbus Day: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 10-10-2025, 04:57 AM

A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

(Ralph goes to Ed’s manhole.)

Ralph (yells): “HEY NORTON! COME ON UP!”

(Ed comes up.)

Ed: “Whaddaya say Ralph?”

Ralph: “In honor of Columbus Day, our Raccoons are having a $1000 contest to see who can build the best Columbus boat and I know how to win the prize.”

Ed: “So do I by having the best boat. Hahaha!”

Ralph: “That’s the answer but only we know that. I saw a Lego sculpture of a Columbus Day boat in a shop and I need to borrow $400 from Alice. She said she wouldn’t give it to me.”

Ed: “I know. You kept me awake all last night. The top floor is betting 13-1 tgat you will build a horrible boat.”

Ralph: “You and the top floor are gonna lose. I need $400 from you Ed. When I win, I will give it back to you.”

Ed: “I’m bankrupt Ralph.”

Ralph: “I’ll figure out someway to get the money. I’ll borrow from my life insurance. I will win.”

Ed: “I’m in the contest too Ralph.”

Ralph (yells): “WHAT? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME NORTON?”

Ed (yells): “FREE COUNTRY.”

Ralph: “Norton, from here on in, we are DEADLY enemies. If you see me walking down the street, get on the other side.”

Ed: “When you walk down a street, there AIN’T NO OTHER SIDE.”

(On the day of the contest, the wives are there at the Raccoon Lodge.)

Alice: “I was so upset that Ralph took money from his life insurance to buy that awful Lego Columbus boat. He will never win.”

Trixie: “My Ed spent a long time building his boat.”

Head Raccoon: “We have seen all the boats. Brother Kramden is coming with his.”

(Ralph comes in and being clumsy, trips and his boat smashes into a million pieces.)

Ralph: “Am I too late for the money?”

Head Raccoon: “First prize goes to Ed Norton.”

(Ralph is upset.)

Ed: “He’s not too late to see him make a fool of himself.”

Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON! LETS GO!”

(Everyone tries to separate Ralph who wants to fight Ed.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Folks, the Miami Beach Columbus Days are the BEST!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)

Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”

Dude111 · 10-10-2025, 06:53 AM

I havent seen that episode!!

Thanx buddy

Frank Gannucci · 10-10-2025, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dude111

I havent seen that episode!!

Thanx buddy

My pleasure.

10-10-2025, 04:57 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,100	A Honeymooners Columbus Day: A Honeymooners Columbus Day: (Ralph goes to Ed’s manhole.) Ralph (yells): “HEY NORTON! COME ON UP!” (Ed comes up.) Ed: “Whaddaya say Ralph?” Ralph: “In honor of Columbus Day, our Raccoons are having a $1000 contest to see who can build the best Columbus boat and I know how to win the prize.” Ed: “So do I by having the best boat. Hahaha!” Ralph: “That’s the answer but only we know that. I saw a Lego sculpture of a Columbus Day boat in a shop and I need to borrow $400 from Alice. She said she wouldn’t give it to me.” Ed: “I know. You kept me awake all last night. The top floor is betting 13-1 tgat you will build a horrible boat.” Ralph: “You and the top floor are gonna lose. I need $400 from you Ed. When I win, I will give it back to you.” Ed: “I’m bankrupt Ralph.” Ralph: “I’ll figure out someway to get the money. I’ll borrow from my life insurance. I will win.” Ed: “I’m in the contest too Ralph.” Ralph (yells): “WHAT? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME NORTON?” Ed (yells): “FREE COUNTRY.” Ralph: “Norton, from here on in, we are DEADLY enemies. If you see me walking down the street, get on the other side.” Ed: “When you walk down a street, there AIN’T NO OTHER SIDE.” (On the day of the contest, the wives are there at the Raccoon Lodge.) Alice: “I was so upset that Ralph took money from his life insurance to buy that awful Lego Columbus boat. He will never win.” Trixie: “My Ed spent a long time building his boat.” Head Raccoon: “We have seen all the boats. Brother Kramden is coming with his.” (Ralph comes in and being clumsy, trips and his boat smashes into a million pieces.) Ralph: “Am I too late for the money?” Head Raccoon: “First prize goes to Ed Norton.” (Ralph is upset.) Ed: “He’s not too late to see him make a fool of himself.” Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON! LETS GO!” (Everyone tries to separate Ralph who wants to fight Ed.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “Folks, the Miami Beach Columbus Days are the BEST!” (Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean." (Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.) Jackie: "Audrey Meadows." (Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.) Jackie: "Art Carney." (Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.) Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”

10-10-2025, 06:53 AM	#2
Dude111 Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 05, 2013 Posts: 36,768	I havent seen that episode!! Thanx buddy