Bad Fight With A Good Friend - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

80s_Fan · 08-24-2024, 10:35 AM

Hi Everybody, so yesterday (Aug. 24th) I met up with my good friend; whom I have known for over 30 years, and once again we had a fight but, this one was really bad. I was supposed to spend the day with her; have supper with her but, because of this fight; I left and went to the mall nearby in her area cause that's what I always do anyway; always go to see her where she lives but, I don't mind because it gets me out of the house. So, went to that mall and my boyfriend came to meet me there after he finished work. We didn't even say goodbye to each other; while she was in the store (Super C) where she works; I just took off but, I had texted her telling her that she can go home without me. She texted me saying: I know you are safe, I said Yes I am. Then she says: Are you home safe ?? I said that I am not home, she asked Where are you ?? I said at the Mall; and that my boyfriend will come meet me there soon. Then, she says Okay; thanks for telling me, I said No Problem; and that was the last of it.

Every time we meet up (me and her) she keeps getting me upset and angry; and then she says like yesterday; she doesn't understand why I get so upset.
She totally disregards my feelings when we meet up; she acts like she's alone and I am not even there.

I am not saying that I want to end the friendship; she's really a good person who listens to me when I complain to her about my problems with my boyfriend, and my siblings. Years ago; I ended the friendship with my best friend and now, I regret it but, it's too late with her so, that's why with this one; I don't want to end it but, I told her yesterday when we were discussing the situation that I am tired of this but, she's not understanding my point of view. I know she cares about me and all that but, I don't appreciate it when every time we get together; especially when we go to (Super C) where she works; she goes off and talks to her fellow co workers for example and ignores me; like I am not even there with her. It's not the first time that she does this either.

So, how do I talk to her without getting into a fight ?? Thanks !!

Caroline13 · 08-24-2024, 02:05 PM

I read as much as I could here, my eyes start to get blurry...

You said had a fight Again, so they are often it sounds like.

Maybe you do get upset too easily and just need to let go and just agree, we agree to disagree...

You like a lot about her, so maybe friendship is worth keeping...

Caroline13 · 08-24-2024, 02:19 PM

A PS: to the above. I'm having a hard time editing it...You need to make a list of pros and cons of the friendship and if more Pros, work to keep it..

I have a long time friend and there have been times when things got "touchy" and I made a list, so overlooked some stuff, Now I'm much older and this friend and I had a disagreement about the covid mess, and we are not talking now, I backed off and tried to pick up friendship and she won't....so the friendship could be over....this is my story

Dead2009 · 08-26-2024, 10:47 AM

Soooooo what was the fight about?

Caroline13 · 08-26-2024, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dead2009

Soooooo what was the fight about?

I don't believe it's any of our business, if so, perhaps we would have been told....

Bonniegirl · 08-26-2024, 03:28 PM

How about a good fight with a bad friend?

Dead2009 · 08-27-2024, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline13

I don't believe it's any of our business, if so, perhaps we would have been told....

They made it public business when they posted it to the forum.

stevea · 08-27-2024, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dead2009

They made it public business when they posted it to the forum.

I agree.

It's a little hard to follow, but I think she's upset with her friend because she feels like a fifth wheel when they meet at the market where her friend works.

Maybe they should get together and go out to eat lunch or dinner. Then there would be no competition for attention.

Caroline13 · 08-27-2024, 02:01 PM

I hope OP can make the right choice for the frienship and again the reason for the issue is NOT our business.

Read OP's post agaiMm, I believe (she) mentioned the reason for the fight...........

Caroline13 · 08-27-2024, 03:49 PM

The above screwed up word should be Again, editing is a challenge sometimes...

Dude111 · 08-27-2024, 10:40 PM

I think its temporary...I think things will be forgotton if she cam let it go which I know is not easy!

80s_Fan · 09-05-2024, 04:06 PM

Hi Everybody,

Yesterday; we talked it out by video call, and all is good between us now.

Dude111 · 09-07-2024, 11:41 PM

I knew it would be 0k

Foggy · 09-08-2024, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 80s_Fan

Hi Everybody, so yesterday (Aug. 24th) I met up with my good friend; whom I have known for over 30 years, and once again we had a fight but, this one was really bad.(...)

(...) We didn't even say goodbye to each other; while she was in the store (Super C) where she works;

I just took off but, I had texted her telling her that she can go home without me.
She texted me saying: I know you are safe,
I said Yes I am.
Then she says: Are you home safe ??
I said that I am not home,
she asked Where are you ??
I said at the Mall; and that my boyfriend will come meet me there soon. Then, she says Okay; thanks for telling me,
I said No Problem; and that was the last of it.

Every time we meet up (me and her) she keeps getting me upset and angry; and then she says like yesterday; she doesn't understand why I get so upset.
She totally disregards my feelings when we meet up; she acts like she's alone and I am not even there.(...)

(...) I don't want to end it but, I told her yesterday when we were discussing the situation that I am tired of this but, she's not understanding my point of view.
I know she cares about me and all that but, I don't appreciate it when every time we get together; especially when we go to (Super C) where she works; she goes off and talks to her fellow co workers for example and ignores me; like I am not even there with her. It's not the first time that she does this either.

So, how do I talk to her without getting into a fight ?? Thanks !!

Quote:

Originally Posted by 80s_Fan

Smile We Talked It Out Yesterday

Hi Everybody,

Yesterday; we talked it out by video call, and all is good between us now.

I'm glad to see that you were able to talk it out.

I feel from what you posted above, that you have probably been HURT, in the past, by other people.
What you did "leaving without saying goodbye" was very rude.

The HURT FEELINGS that you have, can cause " INSECURITY and/or JEALOUSY feelings" in YOU. This could damage the friendship or smother the relationship.

In the future, try very hard to let your friend(s) have time to talk to others (especially her co-workers) when you are out with her. Also, you need to remember that you WILL always be together afterwards.

The key to a great friendship is "GIVE and TAKE and SPACE."

08-24-2024, 10:35 AM	#1
80s_Fan Healthcare_Clerk Senior Member Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 1,697	Bad Fight With A Good Friend Hi Everybody, so yesterday (Aug. 24th) I met up with my good friend; whom I have known for over 30 years, and once again we had a fight but, this one was really bad. I was supposed to spend the day with her; have supper with her but, because of this fight; I left and went to the mall nearby in her area cause that's what I always do anyway; always go to see her where she lives but, I don't mind because it gets me out of the house. So, went to that mall and my boyfriend came to meet me there after he finished work. We didn't even say goodbye to each other; while she was in the store (Super C) where she works; I just took off but, I had texted her telling her that she can go home without me. She texted me saying: I know you are safe, I said Yes I am. Then she says: Are you home safe ?? I said that I am not home, she asked Where are you ?? I said at the Mall; and that my boyfriend will come meet me there soon. Then, she says Okay; thanks for telling me, I said No Problem; and that was the last of it. Every time we meet up (me and her) she keeps getting me upset and angry; and then she says like yesterday; she doesn't understand why I get so upset. She totally disregards my feelings when we meet up; she acts like she's alone and I am not even there. I am not saying that I want to end the friendship; she's really a good person who listens to me when I complain to her about my problems with my boyfriend, and my siblings. Years ago; I ended the friendship with my best friend and now, I regret it but, it's too late with her so, that's why with this one; I don't want to end it but, I told her yesterday when we were discussing the situation that I am tired of this but, she's not understanding my point of view. I know she cares about me and all that but, I don't appreciate it when every time we get together; especially when we go to (Super C) where she works; she goes off and talks to her fellow co workers for example and ignores me; like I am not even there with her. It's not the first time that she does this either. So, how do I talk to her without getting into a fight ?? Thanks !!

08-24-2024, 02:05 PM	#2
Caroline13 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jan 30, 2021 Location: So Calif Posts: 14,483	I read as much as I could here, my eyes start to get blurry... You said had a fight Again, so they are often it sounds like. Maybe you do get upset too easily and just need to let go and just agree, we agree to disagree... You like a lot about her, so maybe friendship is worth keeping...
	__________________ Inexpensive Health Insurance = Grape Seed Extract Keep It Simple

08-26-2024, 10:47 AM	#4
Dead2009 Horror Movie Guru Senior Member Join Date: Feb 20, 2024 Location: Maryland Posts: 1,252	Soooooo what was the fight about?
	__________________ Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/Dead2009/ Backloggd: https://backloggd.com/u/Dead2009/ Dropkickd: https://www.dropkickd.com/user/Dead2009

08-27-2024, 02:01 PM	#9
Caroline13 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jan 30, 2021 Location: So Calif Posts: 14,483	I hope OP can make the right choice for the frienship and again the reason for the issue is NOT our business. Read OP's post agaiMm, I believe (she) mentioned the reason for the fight...........
	Last edited by Caroline13; 08-27-2024 at 03:46 PM. Reason: n

09-05-2024, 04:06 PM	#12
80s_Fan Healthcare_Clerk Senior Member Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 1,697	We Talked It Out Yesterday Hi Everybody, Yesterday; we talked it out by video call, and all is good between us now.

08-24-2024, 02:19 PM	#3
Caroline13 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jan 30, 2021 Location: So Calif Posts: 14,483	A PS: to the above. I'm having a hard time editing it...You need to make a list of pros and cons of the friendship and if more Pros, work to keep it.. I have a long time friend and there have been times when things got "touchy" and I made a list, so overlooked some stuff, Now I'm much older and this friend and I had a disagreement about the covid mess, and we are not talking now, I backed off and tried to pick up friendship and she won't....so the friendship could be over....this is my story

08-26-2024, 03:28 PM	#6
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 66,232	How about a good fight with a bad friend?

08-27-2024, 03:49 PM	#10
Caroline13 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jan 30, 2021 Location: So Calif Posts: 14,483	The above screwed up word should be Again, editing is a challenge sometimes...

08-27-2024, 10:40 PM	#11
Dude111 Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 05, 2013 Posts: 37,320	I think its temporary...I think things will be forgotton if she cam let it go which I know is not easy!

09-07-2024, 11:41 PM	#13
Dude111 Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 05, 2013 Posts: 37,320	I knew it would be 0k