5 Things Emotionally Resilient People Don't Do

[Caroline13]

I don't believe many would fall into these 5 as most here come across pretty strong in their minds. But so much can help those in "trouble"..

https://nickwignall.medium.com/5-thi...o-b22f69147b83

1. Criticizing yourself up after mistakes
2. Taking things too personally
3. Depending on coping skills
4. Avoiding your emotions
5. Trusting your emotions

[GentlemanJim]

I dunno Caroline. I believe perhaps the biggest mistakes in my life were made due to my preoccupation with "companionship" and the sacrifices that I made to avoid loneliness, whatever the cost.

Learning to be emotionally self sufficient was .....liberating.

Reflecting back, it took me way too long to recognize the difference between a "friend" versus someone I shared common interests with. And my failure to recognize the importance in doing that, caused me quite a bit of second guessing myself. To wit "were they bad people?" Or was I just dumb in making myself vulnerable to people who didn't want to be a friend?

Becoming "hard boiled" afforded me protections from such abuse.

[Caroline13]

Originally Posted by GentlemanJim

I dunno Caroline. I believe perhaps the biggest mistakes in my life were made due to my preoccupation with "companionship" and the sacrifices that I made to avoid loneliness, whatever the cost.

Learning to be emotionally self sufficient was .....liberating.

Reflecting back, it took me way too long to recognize the difference between a "friend" versus someone I shared common interests with. And my failure to recognize the importance in doing that, caused me quite a bit of second guessing myself. To wit "were they bad people?" Or was I just dumb in making myself vulnerable to people who didn't want to be a friend?

Becoming "hard boiled" afforded me protections from such abuse.

Well, I'm pretty darn self sufficient at my late date, but glad I took time to have some nice male relationships, I knew one marriage was enough and no regrets there and had some nice males along the way. So had a good mix of a lot of life. GJ: I see you as a bulldozer type. That's how you come across to me.

[Dude111]

Originally Posted by Caroline13

I don't believe many would fall into these 5 as most here come across pretty strong in their minds.

Yes alot of ppl here seem to be dead set in what they are being told,etc........ Kinda sad isnt it?

[GentlemanJim]

Originally Posted by Caroline13

GJ: I see you as a bulldozer type. That's how you come across to me.

[Caroline13]

Cute GJ, thinking about what kind of truck I would be and it would have to a "pick up" truck as I've picked up so much in my life and have used it all, good and not good.

You and I and Dude seem to be the only ones here who want to discuss any psychology of our lives.....Cleveland too, he is open about his life's issues. Everyone else is pretty shut tight. Interesting !!!!

[Dude111]

Ya its sad we dont have more.......


EDIT:

Its good we have each other guys

[This message has been edited by Dude111 (edited 08-03-2022).]

[GentlemanJim]

Originally Posted by Caroline13

thinking about what kind of truck I would be

You remind me more of that Tanker truck in the movie "Duel". Ever present and menacing, never know what's going to come out of you next.

Originally Posted by Caroline13

You and I and Dude seem to be the only ones here who want to discuss any psychology of our lives.....Cleveland too, he is open about his life's issues. Everyone else is pretty shut tight. Interesting !!!!

Some folks obviously do not come here to give serious thought to real world issues. Which is fine .
I also believe there is a clique here, which once you run afoul of it, the rest of the members of that clique will shun you. Which is fine too.

What's funny, I'll see some of your threads getting ignored by everybody, and after a couple days I start to feel sympathetic and bump it with a reply. Only to have you chastise me for being off topic.

And I laugh, thinking 'WELL excuuuuuse me! Let's go back to how many other people were even interested.

[GentlemanJim]

Originally Posted by Caroline13

I don't believe many would fall into these 5 as most here come across pretty strong in their minds. But so much can help those in "trouble"..

https://nickwignall.medium.com/5-thi...o-b22f69147b83

1. Criticizing yourself up after mistakes
2. Taking things too personally
3. Depending on coping skills
4. Avoiding your emotions
5. Trusting your emotions

I think you might be underestimating the probability that some people derive pleasure out of nursing grudges?

If someone has dealt you a slight, then seeing them "pay" for that mistake time and time again can be rewarding.

I know a guy who "had" to marry into a wealthy family, was rewarded with a nice paying job with his new bride's uncle's company.......and then really paid the price for that luxury for like 8 years before he finally had enough, and quit. First the bride, and then the uncle.

[Caroline13]

GJ, it's ok what you've said, if MOST here don't want anything else but Sitcom stuff so that is their choice and they are happy I guess. Me, I want a diverse forum and there is a little here but very little. I've enjoyed the sitcoms I've seen in my life, but don't go on and on and on with talking about them........ Thinking that I would have been just fine never being directed to Sitcoms but Dude thought it might have been good for me, it was in the Game area and all in all Interesting Ride....

Oh I never see you in the games, just not for you. huh....

[GentlemanJim]

Originally Posted by Caroline13

I want a diverse forum and there is a little here but very little. I've enjoyed the sitcoms I've seen in my life, but don't go on and on and on with talking about them........

Well, just my opinion.....but I think most people do "want" diverse discussion, but many are highly particular over what they consider to be "good" diversity (of thought), versus "bad".

And it's always amazed me how some people see themselves as an authority entitled to decide what others are allowed to express.

Asking an open question, for example, and then becoming angered when some replies do not align with their pro forma.

I recall one such instance here where I gave a non-conformist answer, and the thread author started arguing with me why my proposal was impossible (it didn't align with the fantasy this person had in their own mind). And when I defended my idea...I was branded as being the one who was "hard to get along with".

And my thoughts were "really? who is the one arguing here? if there is only an acceptable range of answers you are willing to accept, then you should have specified as much in your original question"

Something along those lines has actually happened a few times here. Giving me reason to suspect at least some members prefer to post after a few highballs.

Such is the peril in being a "bulldozer"

[GentlemanJim]

Originally Posted by Caroline13

GJ: I see you as a bulldozer type. That's how you come across to me.

It's probably worth mentioning that if the ideas that I share here seem "unrestrained", you'd be amazed with the ones that I don't share.

[Caroline13]

Originally Posted by GentlemanJim

It's probably worth mentioning that if the ideas that I share here seem "unrestrained", you'd be amazed with the ones that I don't share.

Oh boy, don't need to hear anymore, I get so much nutty stuff on other
forums, I wonder what these people's brains are made of, pudding, cotton, wild thinking. Maybe lots of drugs...