Quotes

[Sterling Holobyte]

Kirk: "Wouldn't they just love to see me coming?! The person who has been hounding them about that intersection. Mr. Safety Fanatic?!"

Leslie(skeptical): "Kirk, you really haven't been hounding them, have you?"

Kirk: "No."

Leslie: "You don't have to lie to me to get me to like you!"

Kirk: "God, you're good for me!"

[MA]

Michael Harris:
Oh, Cupcake, our photo session is this Friday at six.

Stephanie Vanderkellen:
Perfect! Early evening is one of my five best times of day.

Joanna Loudon:
Didn't you two get your pictures taken *last* month?

Stephanie Vanderkellen:
Joanna, you'd get your picture taken a lot, too, if you looked like this.

[Sterling Holobyte]

(Kirk wants to start a singles club at the Stratford Inn, much to Dick's chagrin)

Kirk: "Ok, we'll have our first meeting Friday night at 7 o'clock.

Stephanie: "Oh, Friday night? I can't come. I have a date."

Dick: "I thought you were having trouble getting dates?"

Stephanie: "Not in the evenings."

[MA]

[last lines]

Dick Loudon:
You should really wear more sweaters.

[Sterling Holobyte]

(At a dinner party at the Stratford Inn with Leslie's long-time guy friend, Blake LeMasters, and a very jealous Kirk)

George: "Blake, you sound like you've traveled some."

Leslie: "You can't believe the things he's done. If there's a mountain, he climbs it. If there's an ocean, he swims it."

Kirk: "If there's an evening, he ruins it."

[AB]

Dick talking to Stephanie:

[Sterling Holobyte]

(Kirk brings in a rooster he rescued in traffic)
Leslie: "That's wonderful. You actually risked your life to save it."
Kirk: "Well, I guess at a time like that you don't think about yourself. You see a poor helpless creature and something inside you says, "hey, I have to help."
(turns to George)
Kirk: "Got an axe?"

Leslie: "You're going to kill it?"
Kirk: "Well, I can't eat it like this."
Leslie: "Kirk, you're not really going to kill that rooster."
Kirk: "It's just a stupid bird."
Leslie: "It's a living thing. I don't believe in killing living things."
Kirk: "Not even a cockroach? A filthy, slimy, disgusting cockroach?"
Leslie: "Ok, maybe a cockroach."
Kirk: "You know what a cockroach looks like magnified a thousand times?"
(Points to rooster)

[AB]

Larry:

[Sterling Holobyte]

(George had just told Dick and Joanna about seeing a UFO)

Joanna: "Suppose we were being visited, why would people from another planet pick Vermont?"
Dick(who just wants to go back to sleep): "Schools?!"

Joanna: "Well, it's just so incredible to think about. I mean, suppose there are two creatures just like us somewhere out there in the universe."
Dick: "Well, I hope the one like me is getting some sleep."


(Later that morning at the breakfast table. Dick and Joanna have just entered after being woken up by George earlier)
Kirk: "Oh my, is this a joke or are you two planning to look that way all day?"


Kirk: "Are you saying that George saw a spaceship? That's crazy!"

Dick: "Kirk, don't you tell anyone. This isn't the sort of thing we should be talking about in front of the G-U-E-S-T-S."
Kirk: "Great Dick, we can spell, but they can't/"

[MA]

[in Larry's dream, he is a guest host on The Tonight Show]

Ed McMahon:
[voice-over] Welcome to The Tonight Show. And now here's your guest host... heeeerre's Larry!

[Larry enters from the behind the stage curtains to cheers and applause]

Larry:
Hi. I'm Larry. This is my sidekick Darryl.

[Darryl #1 is seen standing in front of a microphone where Ed McMahon usually stands]

Larry:
And this is my bandleader Darryl.

[Darryl #2 is seen standing by the Tonight Show band where Doc Severinsen usually stands]

[Sterling Holobyte]

(After some encouragement from other townsfolk, Dick has decided to run for the town council)

Joanna: "When are you going to announce your candidacy?"

Dick: "I guess I should let everyone around here know. Why don't you assemble the staff."

Joanna: "What staff?"

Dick: "George and Leslie."

Joanna: "George went into town."

Dick: "Well, assemble Leslie."

[Sterling Holobyte]

(Leslie has just given Dick $600 as a contribution towards his candidacy for town council)

Joanna: "You've managed to save $600 from your salary already?"

Leslie: "Oh gosh no! This money comes from my foundation."

Joanna: "You have a foundation?"

Leslie: "It's just something I've had since I was a little girl."

Joanna: "What does your foundation do?"

Leslie: "Oh, we send handicapped kids to summer camp, and we find homes for stray dogs, and we finance Cousteau expeditions."

Dick: "You finance Jacques Cousteau?"

Leslie: "Oh, not by myself. He does have other supporters."

Dick: "Like who?"

Leslie: "Well, like France."

[AB]

Stephanie: Ooh, a gift. You remembered!

Michael: Well, natch. Any suitor worth his salt knows that Cupcake Day comes but once a year.

Joanna: I don’t believe I’ve heard of Cupcake Day.

Stephanie: Michael created it for me two years ago to help fill that long void between Valentine’s Day and Easter when I didn’t get any presents.

[AB]

Joanna & Dick:

[Sterling Holobyte]

Originally Posted by AB

Joanna & Dick:

Is that from the "JazzTones" episode where he lets it known that his nickname was "Slats"?