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#166 | |
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Sharon Kinne Imposter
Forum Regular
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__________________
And she was just gripin' and bitchin'. Just gripin' and bitchin. Offer your shoes and receive free margaritas! |
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#167 |
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Member
Occasional Poster
Join Date: Feb 05, 2017
Posts: 39
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No idea - that was the only mention I saw of it. But I would imagine that with the time period that it wasn't an easy situation.
Does anyone know anymore? |
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#168 |
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Member
Forum Cub
Join Date: Aug 17, 2017
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 2
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There is only one thread I have found in years of researching this particular case, in which one person suggested it as a possibility. However, that person always has crackpot theories that hold no weight and I do not believe that AJ was gay. Just my .02 cents.
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#169 |
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Member
Forum Regular
Join Date: Dec 31, 2006
Location: Westeros
Posts: 740
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Just watched this one again - incredibly sad. Read through this entire thread too. I tend to agree w/DarkDante's assertions as well (refer to the post back on page 10).
Someone else brought up Gretchen Burford - I think what happened to her also happened to AJ (someone snuck into his car while he was occupied elsewhere), though I'm not going to say for certain whether it was random or not. As has been mentioned in other threads/with other cases, UM likes to spin stuff up and sensationalize things to varying degrees. I do think money was the prime motivator. A lot of people have brought up the AA angle and suggested a conspiracy, that he overheard or came across. I'll stay open to that and add in my own theory - someone in AA saw him as a potential robbery target and put the word out to the individuals he was later seen in the car with. There's no concrete evidence or anything to support that, a potential debtor situation or anything else which is kind of frustrating - really at this point, you could argue for anything I'd say. |
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#170 |
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Member
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Apr 01, 2000
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 3,672
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Cayleigh Elise's YouTube channel featured this case and she mentions the possible gay angle through the following quote...
"Also, I thought it important to mention something that, according to AJ's daughters, handicapped the police's initial investigation and it's something that hasn't been discussed often concerning AJ. Not only had he battled alcohol but some claimed he was also homosexual...something that in 1991, he likely didn't feel comfortable sharing with the world or even with family, as his daughters say they were unaware of his orientation until after he disappeared. Whether or not this was a contributing factor in his disappearance can be discussed only in speculation." It sounds like she had some contact with AJ's daughters before she posted this video. It would be interesting to know how the daughters came across this information. I figure it had to be something more convincing than idol gossip that usually surrounds a person when they go missing. If it was enough for them to believe this hurt the early stages of the police investigation, it had to be something bigger than rumors. |
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#171 |
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UM Meme Guy
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 01, 2008
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 1,234
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Robin Werder's podcast the trail went cold features this case.
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#172 | |
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Member
Forum Regular
Join Date: Jun 22, 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 925
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#173 |
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Member
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 14, 2010
Posts: 1,874
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Yes, I just released the podcast episode today. FYI, here's an article from 2017 where A.J.'s daughters finally reveal that he was gay and confirm it was a closely guarded secret which very few people knew. I read elsewhere that his daughters didn't even find out until after he went missing...
https://www.dailycomet.com/news/2017...-disappearance I'm not sure if A.J.'s sexuality played a role in his disappearance, but I think it might provide some insight into why he developed a drinking problem and his marriage ended in divorce. It couldn't have been easy living as a gay man in the South during the 1970s and 80s and having to keep it a secret, especially since he worked his whole life as a clothing salesman and feared that men wouldn't want to be fitted by him if they knew he was gay. |
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#174 |
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Unsolved Mysteries fanatic
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 14, 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 2,509
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A. J. never struck me as gay. Now that I read this, maybe he voluntarily disappeared to avoid "shaming" his family?
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#175 |
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UM Meme Guy
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 01, 2008
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 1,234
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Yeah I obviously I didn't read all the messages on this board and had no idea either. Definitely adds a new dimension to the case.
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#176 |
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Member
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Apr 01, 2000
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 3,672
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I wonder how his three daughters even found out this information, especially if they didn't find out until after he disappeared. I guess their mother (AJ's ex-wife) could have mentioned it. I don't see how else they could have known.
I understand that it would have been a horrible struggle living as a gay man in the south but running away at age 50 to avoid the shame seems....extreme. Especially when it would involve leaving the best things in his life other than his sobriety, his daughters. And why choose that time to run away? Why not leave years earlier when he was an alcoholic and his life was more hectic? And yes, working in a clothing store could have added to the stress of being outed but his business was successful for 30 years and he was beloved by the local residents. It's not like this guy had any known enemies. It's seems everywhere he went, people were happy to see him. My gut tells me this was probably nothing more than a wrong place, wrong time situation. Maybe an abduction or botched robbery attempt sometime after he bought the milk at the convenience store. He may have even survived but lost his memory. The gay angle might be nothing more than a red herring, like when people tried to tie Matthew Chase's murder to his homosexuality when in reality, it was nothing more than murder after being robbed. Wrong place, wrong time. |
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#177 |
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Member
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Dec 31, 2007
Location: Devil's Backbone
Posts: 3,128
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I’d like to think that alcohol and personal life had nothing to do with his disappearance. It’s difficult to say, but for me i try to look at the facts as much as possible and try to stay away from stereotypes about the town. I think it is more likely that AJ’s history and growth as a person gave him the desire to help others. His willingness to help others may have put him in a position to be taken advantage of. The fact that he was involved with AA means he could have been around people who had severe mental health issues and people who had propensity to commit violence. .
I always go back to the subtle statement at the end of the segment when RS says a witness saw a man get abducted but the details were sketchy. Then I always wonder about the credible eye witness accounts from the people that actually knew him personally. The fact that he did not wave back at one of them stands out. |
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#178 | |
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Member
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Oct 19, 2017
Posts: 287
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#179 |
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Member
Forum 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Apr 01, 2000
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 3,672
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I'm surprised this concept is so foreign to you as it's been going on since the beginning of time. Many gay men, especially ones who grew up during AJ's generation are able to repress their true selves (or be in such deep denial) to the point that they do marry wives and have families for a variety of reasons, mostly not wanting to be rejected by their family and society. The majority of the time, they cannot repress those feelings forever and the consequences can often be brutal, like depression and suicide. Sadly, this still happens even today although it's not as common as 40 years ago.
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#180 | |
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Vigilante Logician
Forum Regular
Join Date: Mar 09, 2006
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 924
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Explains the "missing" miles, explains the seeming lack of any clear financial motive, explains the missing milk (he bought it to bring to his destination, and as to why he would buy it before making a journey of 90-120 miles to see a partner, this was 91, late at night to begin with, in a rural area - perhaps he knew the store he was at would be open at 10PM, but by the time he got to where he was going, all stores would be closed). Does not explain the in-town sightings, but I am inclined to believe people got their dates wrong, or there was simply someone who looked remarkably like AJ that they mistook for him (would explain the annoyed reaction, in one case). |
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"You can't say the words that the rock makes you feel like." - Patty Johnson |
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