Best UM burns - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

StackTime · 11-17-2018, 06:14 AM

What do you consider to be the best UM burns? To start:

Bonnie Wilder. Paraphrasing: How do you get lost in a crowd when you're enormous?

TheCars1986 · 11-17-2018, 10:40 AM

Everything that was uttered out of Danny Wheeler's mouth.

schmave · 11-17-2018, 12:31 PM

That Bonnie Wilder line and the entire Bean-Wheeler segment might have been the two most hilarious in the entire series.
An underrated burn was from the Anita Green segment talking about people being surprised she married her husband: "... not only because Mel weighed over 500 pounds ..."

unsolved88 · 11-17-2018, 01:10 PM

There was the heavy-set fraudulent doctor who, according to Stack, was "notable for his girth".

MegtheEgg86 · 11-17-2018, 03:41 PM

"In the first place, Eddie doesn't have that much education.."

WishfulDreamer · 11-17-2018, 03:42 PM

Holly Maddox's friend, Andrea Boyce, gave the best burn of Ira Einhorn. She said something along the lines of "he seemed to think a lot of himself and I don't know how he could feel that way because I didn't find him particularly attractive."

MegtheEgg86 · 11-17-2018, 03:48 PM

"I knew what I had and I was happy to pass it on, ok?"

MegtheEgg86 · 11-17-2018, 03:54 PM

I don't think this technically counts, but years ago when the segments were available on YT, the top comment on the Larry George segment (with the update) was "LARRY GEORGE GOT BUSTED IN HIS DRAWS".

ETA: StackTime, I legitimately lol'd when I saw that Ed Baker quote under your username.

Jon · 11-17-2018, 04:47 PM

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Necco · 11-17-2018, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unsolved88

There was the heavy-set fraudulent doctor who, according to Stack, was "notable for his girth".

That’s either a hell of a burn or a hell of a compliment. 😂😂😂

DALLASTEXAN!! · 11-17-2018, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MegtheEgg86

"In the first place, Eddie doesn't have that much education.."

My ribs hurt now

Lieutenant Bookman · 11-17-2018, 06:25 PM

My favorite was Tommy Zaino talking about Son of Sam and saying stuff to the effect of “I can’t picture Berkowitz running like that. I saw a picture of him and in a week you can’t get that fat.” I don’t remember the exact quote but I always laughed when I watched that

DALLASTEXAN!! · 11-17-2018, 07:04 PM

In the Johnny Lee Wilson case..."he thought a stun gun was an electric razor"

WishfulDreamer · 11-17-2018, 09:55 PM

"Don [Dixon] lives in a fantasy world."

"I don't think she's a good-looking woman."

One of my favorites from the Guardian UFO segment: "There are way too many errors in this letter. Someone with very little effort could have come a lot closer than this."

StackTime · 11-18-2018, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MegtheEgg86

I don't think this technically counts, but years ago when the segments were available on YT, the top comment on the Larry George segment (with the update) was "LARRY GEORGE GOT BUSTED IN HIS DRAWS".

ETA: StackTime, I legitimately lol'd when I saw that Ed Baker quote under your username.

Thank you!! You got it. I love that quote, and his delivery. If only enough of my friends, relatives, co-workers were UM fanatics like us so that I could drop the line in conversation.

11-17-2018, 06:14 AM	#1
StackTime Here's the kicker Frank Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 17, 2008 Location: For heaven's sake don't buy these coins Posts: 248	Best UM burns What do you consider to be the best UM burns? To start: Bonnie Wilder. Paraphrasing: How do you get lost in a crowd when you're enormous?

11-17-2018, 12:31 PM	#3
schmave Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 23, 2013 Location: Reynoldsburg, Ohio Posts: 653	That Bonnie Wilder line and the entire Bean-Wheeler segment might have been the two most hilarious in the entire series. An underrated burn was from the Anita Green segment talking about people being surprised she married her husband: "... not only because Mel weighed over 500 pounds ..."
	__________________ "hey when you're in the desert you don't complain that the champagne's not Korbel if you get my drift." - RightOnDude

11-17-2018, 03:41 PM	#5
MegtheEgg86 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 19, 2008 Location: The Volunteer State Posts: 5,156	"In the first place, Eddie doesn't have that much education.."
	__________________ "Why is she lying?, it makes me wonder. What is she hiding?, it makes me wonder." Go Vols!

11-17-2018, 10:40 AM	#2
TheCars1986 #VLSKMS Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 22, 2008 Location: Maryland Posts: 8,606	Everything that was uttered out of Danny Wheeler's mouth.

11-17-2018, 01:10 PM	#4
unsolved88 Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 16, 2006 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 514	There was the heavy-set fraudulent doctor who, according to Stack, was "notable for his girth".

11-17-2018, 03:42 PM	#6
WishfulDreamer Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 01, 2009 Location: L.A. Posts: 3,868	Holly Maddox's friend, Andrea Boyce, gave the best burn of Ira Einhorn. She said something along the lines of "he seemed to think a lot of himself and I don't know how he could feel that way because I didn't find him particularly attractive."

11-17-2018, 03:48 PM	#7
MegtheEgg86 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 19, 2008 Location: The Volunteer State Posts: 5,156	"I knew what I had and I was happy to pass it on, ok?"

11-17-2018, 03:54 PM	#8
MegtheEgg86 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 19, 2008 Location: The Volunteer State Posts: 5,156	I don't think this technically counts, but years ago when the segments were available on YT, the top comment on the Larry George segment (with the update) was "LARRY GEORGE GOT BUSTED IN HIS DRAWS". ETA: StackTime, I legitimately lol'd when I saw that Ed Baker quote under your username.

11-17-2018, 04:47 PM	#9
Jon Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 22, 2011 Location: TX Posts: 926

11-17-2018, 06:25 PM	#12
Lieutenant Bookman Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 15, 2017 Posts: 69	My favorite was Tommy Zaino talking about Son of Sam and saying stuff to the effect of “I can’t picture Berkowitz running like that. I saw a picture of him and in a week you can’t get that fat.” I don’t remember the exact quote but I always laughed when I watched that

11-17-2018, 07:04 PM	#13
DALLASTEXAN!! Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 31, 2007 Location: Devil's Backbone Posts: 3,132	In the Johnny Lee Wilson case..."he thought a stun gun was an electric razor"

11-17-2018, 09:55 PM	#14
WishfulDreamer Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 01, 2009 Location: L.A. Posts: 3,868	"Don [Dixon] lives in a fantasy world." "I don't think she's a good-looking woman." One of my favorites from the Guardian UFO segment: "There are way too many errors in this letter. Someone with very little effort could have come a lot closer than this."