Gilligan's Diary of Duke

[dukefan]

In episode 21 Big Man on a Little Stick Gilligan took a pounding both physically and mentally. Here’s his thoughts on that and bits that fill in the gaps between scenes. Edited for clarity, but retaining its Gilligan-ese…


Dear Diary,

This morning I went fishing at the lagoon. I’d just caught my pet fish Irving…named after my favorite member of The Mosquitos…when all of a sudden a surfer rode in and landed on the beach. I know…Skipper and I couldn’t believe it either then Professor arrived and said he rode here on a Salami or something. It’s a big wave caused by an underwater earthquake he said. The surfer’s name is Duke Williams and when I asked if he could surf back and get us rescued he said sure. I helped him back to the hut and tried to find out more about him and how he got here, but he kept saying things like gidget. Wahine. Hot dogging. Grimmee. Hanging 10. Tubes and stuff. I guess we’ve been gone so long there’s a whole new language forming…and I hadn’t even gotten the hang of the old one…Oh well I gotta go get Duke some food so he can start training to head back to Hawaii!

Later...

Back at the hut. Writing this sitting across from Duke. He just devoured a whole tree of bananas. It’s like he’s half-ape, half-man. That would be cool…or maybe scary. Guess we’ll never know. Duke’s wearing my pants which is kinda funny. They don’t even come down to his ankles and their skin tight. I offered him my t-shirt too but he pointed to his body and said something about not putting a shirt on Michael Angelo’s David. I don’t know what people are doing with their kids back home these days but if Duke doesn’t want to where the shirt that’s fine with me.

Laterer...

Wrongway Feldman said this island was out of the hustle-and-bustle of society but for a relaxing paradise things sure do change quick. No sooner had I left our hut then Skipper came up from the direction of the Professor’s and told me the rescue was off. This made me mad because I was off to tell the girls and the Howells about Duke and it woulda made them get over my destroying that weather balloon a coupla weeks ago. I told Skipper how Duke talked all about his muscles and said once he built them back up he could do anything. But Skipper said muscles or no muscles Duke had to stay. I thought sometimes life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wished the Professor was dumb!
It’s funny Mary Ann’s always telling me and Ginger’s always telling Professor we don’t talk to them enough or share our feelings. Now I had a great story and all kinds of feelings about it to tell yet I barely got out the words “surfer” and “muscles” before the girls took off for my hut to meet him. Sometimes I just don’t get it with girls (maybe all the times). Skipper keeps telling me I should ask Mary Ann on a date. I like her awright, but I’m going to wait till I have girls completely figured out before I start dating. I don’t think that should take too long.
At the Howell’s it was the same. They thought they met Duke in England or France or one of those continents. Then they threw me out and told me to invite him to their hut for cocktails. I’m not too bright but even I can see that’s not going to go well.
Skipper told me to hide Duke’s surfboard in the supply hut so he won’t try to surf away on it. After that I’ve got chores to finish. Then maybe I’ll go hang out with Duke. It might be nice having a boyfriend…I mean a friend boy….I mean a boy that’s a friend on the island. More later.