The New Golden Girls

[GGlover]

The New Golden Girls

Part One

Cast:

Blanche Devereaux: Rue McClanahan
Rose Nylund Webber: Betty White
Dorothy Zbornak Hollingsworth: Bea Arthur
Lucus Hollingsworth: Leslie Nielsen

Guest Star: Burt Reynolds



Season 1: Episode 1: Pilot


(The same 1985-1992 theme song plays and the scene begins with Dorothy walking in from the Garage. She finds Rose asleep at the table.)


Dorothy: Hi Rose.

Rose: (Snoring)

Dorothy: Rose, Rose wake up.

Rose: Is it time to milk the cows Poppa?

Dorothy: No Ellie Mae, it's me, Dorothy.

Rose: Oh. Dorothy, so glad to have you back. I missed those smart ass comments.

Dorothy: Great to be back.

Rose: And you don't know how much Blanche and I appreciate you and Lucus putting up the money for the old house.

Dorothy: Hey, We've had some great times in this place. I just wish Ma was able to see this.

Rose: Dorothy, she would have been 99 years old, she wouldn't leave fingerprints anymore.

Dorothy: I know, I know.

(Dorothy gets up from the table and goes into the living room to find Lucus watching T.V.)

Lucus: Hi honey, whatcha been up to?

Dorothy: Same old. Waking Rose up from the kitchen table.

Lucus: That's the fifth time this week!

Dorothy: I know, and it's only Tuesday.

Lucus: So how was your day at work?

Dorothy: Work? What I do is not work. I work at Wal-Mart for God's sake as a greeter.

Lucus: Than quit. I mean there's nothing major we pay for.

Dorothy: I know. It's funny, before when I was a subsitute teacher, I lunged at any chance to take a day off. Now I can't stand to be at home.

Lucus: Maybe because Rose duty is a handful.

(Just then, Blanche walks in with a shopping bag.)

Blanche: Hi guys, how y'all doin?

Dorothy: Do I look like Dolly Parton to you?

Blanche: Maybe with tons of make-up, you could vagely pass. From far away.
Can't chat now, got a hot date. With an oil tycoon.

Dorothy: She's gonna need all day to look pretty enough for a man who has enough money to make Anna Nicole Smith happy.

Lucus: Where's Rose? She's been in there for quite a while.

Dorothy: I'll bet you $25 that she is sleep at that table.

Lucus: NO! That's a losing bet.

(Dorothy walks in to see Rose not at the table but sleep on the floor next to the stove.)

Dorothy: Rose, Rose this has got to stop. You could be serioulsy hurt if this continues.

Rose: I'm so sorry Dorothy.

(Blanche walks in wearing her new dress. It's a sexy blue dress, low cut. very revealing)

Blanche: Girls, does this dress show off my perky bosoms?

Rose: Either that or the duct tape pushing them up.

Blanche: Now just what does that mean?

Dorothy: Blanche, your breast sag so low they need wheel barrows to carry them.

(door bell rings)

Blanche: Girls, Lucus, this is Aiden Burton, the oil tycoon. (Burt Reynolds)
Aiden, this is Rose, My uncle Lucus, and his wife/my best friend Dorothy.

Aiden: It's very nice to meet all of you.

Rose: You know Aiden, you remind me so much of Burt Reynolds. A much younger version though.

Aiden: You know Rose, I get that alot, and I just don't see it.

Lucus: Night you guys, have a great time. (Closes door) My niece is such a cheap slut.

(Fades to black and goes to commercial)

[GGlover]

tell me what you guys think. if you don't like it, I won't finish. but if you do, I will.

[KristinHerreraFan]

rotflmfao NICE

[GGlover]

(the show returns to find Dorothy and Rose waiting for Blanche to return from her date. Technically Dorothy is the only one up. If you catch my drift.)


Dorothy: (looking at Rose) This is unbelieveable. This is really unbelieveable, that a woman can just sleep anywhere. Well besides Blanche.

(Just then Blanche walks in and her heels wake up Rose.)

Blanche: Hi girls.

Dorothy: My talking couldn't wake you up Rose? This is really unbelieveable.

Rose: How was your date Blanche?

Blanche: Wonderful!! We had the greatest time.

Dorothy: She means before you went to the motel.

Blanche: I mean it, I had a nice time, where's Lucus?

Dorothy: Sleeping, he had a rough day.

Rose: Yeah, sitting on your fanny all day can wipe a person out.

Dorothy: For you information Rose, he's been car shopping this week. I need a new car.

Blanche: There's Nothing wrong with your car.

Dorothy: Let's just say, Lucus and I wore it out in the past 2 weeks.

Rose: Wore it out how Dorothy?

Blanche: OOOOH Dorothy Zbornak I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Rose: I can't believe you just called her Dorothy Zbornak.

Blanche: Did I call you that? Oh, I apologize.

Rose: Dorothy, how's Stan doing anyway?

Dorothy: The last I heard from him was when his new invention took off the ground.

Blanche: What was that?

Dorothy: Oxy-duster.

Rose: We won't ask.

Blanche: How are the kids?

Dorothy: Michael has his own record label, and Kate has become a lawyer.

Blanche: Rebecca finally got married. To a handsome doctor.

Dorothy: Rose, how are your kids doing?

Rose: (Snoring)

Dorothy: Let's leave her here.

Blanche: Let's go.

(The next morning, Rose is still at the table when the girls and Lucus walk in)

Lucus: This is so unreal. Rose get up.

Rose: Oh, not again. This is serious.

Blanche: I just realized something. The schedule Rose was on could be the problem.

Lucus: What schedule?

Dorothy: I remember, wasn't Rose working at McDonalds at night, like 6-12

Lucus: But that was like 3 years ago.

Blanche: But it still could have affected her sleeping patterns.

Rose: When I was working there, I would be drinking like 4 cups of coffee a night. Then on the way home, I drink another cup.

Blanche: What time were you getting asleep?

Rose: Like around 3 or 4.

Dorothy: And if you didn't get enough sleep, then you'd fall asleep even later in the day.

Lucus: Problem solved. Who wants coffee?

(The scene changes and the girls are sitting out on the Linai)

Rose: Dorothy, tell us how Sophia died.

Dorothy: (Sighs) Well she had a second stroke. This time it took, completely, both sides of her brain. God I miss that woman.

Rose: Miles died from a heart attack. But at least this time it wasn't when we were making love. It was on the way home from the grocery store, I was so scared. Two husbands, two heartattacks, two broken spririts.

Blanche: At least we're still here together, together forever.


(Goes to commercial)

[GGlover]

Everyone is sitting outside on the linai, Rose is looking up at the stars. Dorothy and Lucus are cuddled up together, Blanche is reading a book.


Lucus: This is a beautiful night.

Dorothy: It sure is.

Rose: It reminds me of a time in St. Olaf when Lars.........

B,L,D: Shut up Rose.

Blanche: It sure does feel good to be back. I've missed this place.

Rose: Feels like we've never been gone you know? The muskateers are back.

Dorothy: Minus one muskateer.

Blanche: You still have the other two to lean on.

Dorothy: I'll never forget that.

Lucus: Come on let's go in.



Closing Credits

[80sTrivia]

Very funny and clever, GGLover!!!

[Holly]

Hey gals and guys. may i try Fan Finction with you? I love this SHOW..

[Loopie63]

Very Funny. Send it to Hollywood and get the show back on the air!!!

[JL82]

[QUOTE=GGlover]The New Golden Girls

Part One

Cast:

Blanche Devereaux: Rue McClanahan
Rose Nylund Webber: Betty White
Dorothy Zbornak Hollingsworth: Bea Arthur
Lucus Hollingsworth: Leslie Nielsen

Guest Star: Burt Reynolds


I'm new to these boards.

For some reason I just loved reading "Rose Nylund Webber." It's sad to think of Miles dying, but I know you did that so Rose could have ended up with him yet still be "one of the girls" for your story. I just posted my thoughts about where Golden Palace took that relationship on the thread "If you could rewrite the final two episodes...."