The Many Loves of Wally Cleaver

[miss landers]

(1) Wally's Mystery Princess

June 1963. School is out for the summer. Mayfield’s teenagers are talking about nothing else except radio station KMAY’s upcoming “Mystery Princess Dream Date” drawing. Who could the Mystery Princess possibly be? It's been hinted that the Mystery Princess is a popular celebrity but her exact identity is a closely guarded secret; many a young Mayfield man has lost a night's sleep pondering the tantalizing mystery!

The night of the long-awaited drawing arrives at last. A crowd of Mayfield's handsomest young men has gathered in the studio of radio station KMAY. The studio is bristling with testosterone; every young man present hopes to be the Mystery Princess’s escort.

Wally is among the hopefuls and looks dashing in his tuxedo. He carries an orchid corsage in a plastic box and glances down now and then at the lovely object. He buys a ticket for the drawing.

Bert Beverly, KMAY's announcer, steps to a microphone. Silence fills the room. Beverly directs the attention of the audience to a red velvet curtain. "And here's our Mystery Princess!" he announces with a thrill in his voice.

The curtain rises and a beautiful young woman sweeps forward; the crowd gasps in astonishment - the "Mystery Princess" is none other than 17 year old pop singing sensation Lesley Gore!

In her low cut sequined evening gown, she is the picture of style, grace, and youthful beauty. Wally catches his breath. "Oh, please! Let me be her escort!" he sighs.

Lesley is thrilled with her welcome. The crowd's applause is deafening. Lesley's eyes shine with appreciation. She thanks the crowd for the ovation with her #1 hit, “It’s My Party.”

"Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone;
Judy left the same time.
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine?

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too if it happened to you!

Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night;
Leave me alone for a while.
'Till Johnny's dancin' with me,
I've got no reason to smile.

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too if it happened to you!

Judy and Johnny just walked through the door
Like a queen with her king;
Oh! what a birthday surprise -
Judy's wearin' his ring!

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to!
You would cry too if it happened to you!"

The crowd goes wild at the song's conclusion. Suddenly, a drum roll is heard. The crowd falls into a tense silence. A hopper containing the tickets for the "Mystery Princess Dream Date" drawing is wheeled into view. The station announcer reaches into the hopper and removes a ticket. The winning number is read to the crowd. “It's MINE! That's MY NUMBER!” Wally shouts excitedly.

Amid gasps of wonder, unsportsmanlike boos, and polite applause Wally rushes to the front of the studio to claim his prize. Wally pins the orchid corsage on Lesley’s gown. Lesley smiles, never never taking her eyes from Wally.

Lesley’s maid hurries forward with the young star’s fur stole. Wally leads Lesley from the studio and into a limousine. News photographers snap pics of the glowing young couple as the crowd cheers.

The limousine is seen pulling up to the White Fox Restaurant. Wally and Lesley step from the limo and into the restaurant. The couple is seated at one of the establishment's most desirable tables. Candlelight glimmers in the romantic dimness of the restaurant as dining room staff bustle about the young couple. A waiter appears and after some careful consideration Wally places their order: Coquilles St. Jacques as an appetizer, Potage de la Reine for the soup course, Steak au Poivre and Poulet aux Herbes as their entrées, and a Mocha Souffle accompanied by glasses of champagne for dessert. Lesley compliments Wally on his sophisticated taste; Wally blushes becomingly and giggles shyly.

Lesley raises her champagne glass. "To us!" she sighs, "Forever and ever!" Lesley leans closer to Wally but before her lips can meet his, a corpulent woman in heavy make up appears at Lesley's shoulder. "Oh, my! You're Lesley Gore! Aren't you!" she gushes, "May I have your autograph?" Other diners hurry to Wally and Lesley's table.

The young couple's intimate moment has been shattered. Tears brim in Lesley's eyes. She hurries from the dining room. Wally follows her quickly.

On the veranda, a tearful Lesley confesses her sudden, dizzying, wondrous love for Wally. She wishes she was still the simple girl she was before stardom touched her; she wishes she could flee the bright lights, the fame, and the celebrity to be with Wally forever. Wally takes Lesley in his arms with thrilling manliness. He has never loved anyone so much in his life! He presses his lips to Lesley's with rapture.

Suddenly, Lesley’s secretary appears. She reminds Lesley she must be in Hollywood for screen tests. A fleet of automobiles pulls up to take Lesley and her entourage to the Mayfield airport. "Hurry! Hurry!" Lesley's secretary cries impatiently. "Wally! Wally!" Lesley cries tearfully. Lesley is torn from Wally's embrace. The young singing star glances passionately but hopelessly over her shoulder towards Wally as her entourage hustles her into a limousine. The cavalcade departs.

Wally is left standing alone on the veranda of the White Fox. A light breeze rustles the shubbery; an owl hoots mournfully in the distance. Wally feels cold and lonely. He knows his lady love is a talented young singer; he knows his lady love is a glamorous, popular star. And he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has lost the greatest love of his life to the bright lights of fame and the demands of a high voltage career. Tears fill his eyes; he blows a kiss into the night sky. "My love!" he sighs. Music and fade.

Below: Lesley Gore, circa 1963

[miss landers]

(2) Wally's Wonderful Christmas

Two days before Christmas, Mrs. Murdock telelphones June looking for a decent boy to escort her teenage niece Alexandra to the "Moonlight Skating Party" at Miller's Pond. Alexandra is an out-of-towner and is visiting for the holidays. June happily offers Wally's company for the evening.

When Wally finds out about the date he's quite upset. He sulks, he pouts. "Mom, I hate blind dates!" he grumbles. But when the appointed hour comes that evening he dresses appropriately and drags himself to the Murdock's doorstep.

The door opens and Wally is more than astonished. Mrs. Murdock's niece Alexandra is none other than Sandra Dee, teen actress! "Sandra Dee," Tony gasps, "You're Sandra Dee - you're Gidget!"

Alexandra puts a fingertip to Wally's lips. "Shh!" she whispers, "Here in Mayfield - for a few days at least - I'm Alexandra! Just plain old Alexandra! I'm in hiding! I need a break from the hustle and bustle of Hollywood!" She giggles, waves goodbye to her aunt and hurries into the night with Wally.

At Miller's Pond, Wally and Alexandra are seen gliding over the ice in the skaters position. Wally tightens his grip upon Alexandra's hip. Alexandra laughs with innocent delight.

The waltz ends and the skaters leave the ice for refreshments. Moonlight twinkles on the snow banks; a very few flakes of snow float in the air. It is a mgical, mysterious, wonderful winter night.

Wally and Alexandra wander among the pines. They enter a gazebo.

Wally tells Alexandra he's seen "Gidget" a hundred times and it's his favorite film. Alexandra murmurs with delight. She tells Wally he's so natural - so unlike the pretentious boys she knows in Hollywood. Wally looks confused for a moment then smiles when he realizes that Alexandra has paid him a compliment.

Wally and Alexandra glance up at the stars. They are silent in their contemplation of the heavens. Alexandra notices a sprig of mistletoe tied to a beam over her heads. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" Alexandra asks. Wally blushes and laughs nervously. Alexandra moves closer to Wally and gently - very, very gently - presses her lips to his. "Wally, this is the most wonderful evening I've had in a long, long time," Alexandra says, "I've had so much fun! I wish this evening could go on forever!"

Wally takes Alexandra in his arms and presses his cheek to hers. "This is the most wonderful Christmas I've ever had!" he exclaims. Music and fade.

Below: Poster for the film "Gidget" starring Sandra Dee.

[miss landers]

(3) Wally's Carnival Adventure

Breakfast time Saturday morning in the Cleaver home. Wally has no appetite - he pushes his scrambled eggs from side to side and eats nothing.

June looks worried. Ward asks Wally if something is troubling him. Wally tells his parents how deeply disappointed he was with his date Marlene Holmes the previous evening. He mentions the young woman's disgusting behaviors: her beer drinking, her cigarette smoking, and her close dancing with the male patrons at Hank's Place. Wally says he's couldn't see a future with Marlene and left her in the tavern. "I thought I loved her," he sighs, "I was disappointed."

Ward and June are shocked with Wally's narrative but remain stoically composed. "I understand how you feel, Wally," Ward remarks sagely, "Marlene was simply not the sort of girl you are accustomed to dating. The girls you date - Mary Ellen Rogers, Julie Foster, Lori Ann - are young women of good breeding, refined tastes, decent habits, and respectable backgrounds. Marlene simply was not that sort of girl, Wally. Put her out of your mind at once."

Wally is thoughtful a moment. "Dad, there's a carnival in Belport this weekend and I want to go. I want to have some fun and forget everything that happened last night."

Ward expresses misgivings about a trip so far from home but Wally is insistent. Ward relents and Wally departs.

We see Wally driving along a lonely stretch of rural road. In a close up, he appears despondent. "Marlene, Marlene!" he murmurs sadly; a tear glimmers in the corner of his eye. Suddenly he spots a disabled car at the side of the road ahead. A dark-haired, slim young woman in sunglasses, Capri pants, a polka dot midriff, and wedgies paces back and forth beside the car.

Wally pulls to the side of the road behind the disabled vehicle. He steps from his car and gasps in astonishment as the young woman approaches and removes her sunglasses. "Annette! Annette Funicello!" he cries, "You're Annette Funicello, the movie star! You're a Mouseketeer! You make beach movies!"

"Yes, I'm Annette," the young woman responds with a smile, "And yes, I make beach movies. But please! Could you help me? I need to be in Utica, New York for a family event tomorrow afternoon and my car conked out! Please! Isn't there something you could do for me?"

Wally is thrilled to meet such a stunningly beautiful celebrity. He steps to Annette's car and lifts the hood. The sun is hot; he removes his shirt. His nipples become erect in the heat; the hair in his armpit glistens with sweat; his muscles gleam in the sunlight as he carefully inspects every screw under Annette's hood.

Annette watches him quietly with more than casual interest. She appraises his wondrous male beauty. She twitches and fidgets; she appears nervous and impatient. It is evident she is profoundly stimulated by this glorious specimen of youthful manhood!

Wally completes his inspection and tells Annette the car will need to be taken to a garage for repair. He offers Annette a ride to a nearby village where arrangements to have the car towed can be made. Annette accepts his offer. Wally puts his shirt on and hops into his car. Annette bounces in beside him and the two are seen speeding away.

Next, we see Wally and Annette standing at the side of the road while a tow drags away Annette's car. "My goodness! What do I do now?" Annette laughs, "My car won't be ready to leave the shop until 5 this evening! What am I going to do?" Wally mentions the carnival in Belport. Annette says she would love to go to a carnival. The couple hop into Wally's car and speed away.

Wally and Annette are seen enjoying a variety of activities at the carnival. They ride the Merry-Go-Round together, then the Ferris Wheel, then the Tilt-a-Whirl. Annette feigns dizziness and Wally laughs with amusement. Wally wins a Teddy Bear at a shooting gallery and presents it to Annette. Annette is charmed with the gift and cuddles it lovingly. Wally buys Annette a big red balloon. The couple hungrily devour hot dogs, ice cream cones, cotton candy, and Cokes.

Wally and Annette are seen riding the roller coaster. Wally's arm is around Annette's shoulders. Annette screams with mock fear as the car speeds over the track. Wally tightens his grip around Annette's shoulders. They look deeply into one another's eyes. Wally flushes brilliantly; his nostrils flare manfully. Annette's lips part innocently; she smiles happily.

The afternoon grows late. Shadows lengthen. Wally and Annette are seen strolling in a lonely grove at the edge of the carnival grounds. Annette carries the Teddy Bear and the red balloon. They are both silent and thoughtful; they know they must soon part.

Annette turns to Wally and sighs. "Thank you, Wally. Thank you for a wonderful, wonderful day! I've been so busy making beach movies that I thought I'd forgotten how to have fun!" Annette stands on tiptoe and plants a quick, gentle kiss on Wally's cheek. "Thank you, Wally. Thank you so much for making me happy!"

In one swift movement, Wally pulls Annette close and kisses her with passionate intensity. Startled, Annette drops the Teddy Bear and frees herelf from Wally's arms.

"Oh, Wally! Please, no!" she gasps.

"I'm sorry, Annette," Wally murmurs quietly, "I was ... carried away. You're so beautiful. I've always said and thought that passionate physical intimacy is something to be shared only by husband and wife. I did something I should not have done. Can you forgive me? Can you accept my apology?"

Annette smiles. "Of course, Wally," she says, "And, like you, I believe physical intimacy should be reserved for the marital bond. Teenagers should not engage in the kind of physical intimacy reserved for the marriage relationship - and that includes passionate kissing!"

Wally retrieves the Teddy Bear and the couple set off. Music and fade.

Epilogue. Annette and Wally are seen outside the garage. Annette's car has been repaired and she hops into the front seat. Once again she thanks Wally for a memorable day. "And remember what I said about coming to Hollywood for a visit," she adds pertly. She smiles radiantly and speeds away with a wave of her hand.

Wally climbs into his car. His chest swells with profound contentment. He has had a wonderful day with a wonderful young woman. He feels renewed. He pulls slowly away from the garage with all thought of Marlene Holmes banished from his mind and completely at peace with the world.

Below: Pages from Annette's Scrapbook ...

[miss landers]

(4) The Football Hero; or, The Healing Power of Love

Wally makes touchdown after touchdown on the Mayfield High football field. The fans roar. Then, Wally is hit hard and doesn't get up. Silence descends. The coach is frozen with fear. "Call an ambulance!" he screams.

Next, we see the emergency room of Mayfield General Hospital. The doors fly open and Wally is wheeled into the room on a gurney. Nurses rush in every direction. A doctor hovers anxiously over Wally.

Ward, June, and Beaver hurtle through the front doors. June is pale with fear. Ward supports her and hurries her along. "Doctor! Doctor! That's my son!" Ward shouts, "Is he going to die?" The doctor looks worried. "We'll know very soon," he answers. Wally is rushed away by anxious hospital staff.

Next, we see a hospital room. Wally is in bed. He is asleep. June, Ward, and Beaver are at his bedside. The doctor is present. "He's going to be all right," the doctor sighs with relief. June gasps brokenly and clutches Ward's arm. "Thank God!" she sobs quietly, "Thank God! Oh, Ward, I was so frightened."

The doctor looks at June and Ward. "It's best you go now," the doctor says quietly, "He's going to need a lot of rest." The Cleavers take one long, loving look at Wally. June bends and kisses his cheek. The doctor and the Cleavers leave Wally's room. We see a close up of Wally's face. He is sleeping deeply and soundly; he looks angelic.

The next morning. The Cleavers, Eddie, Lumpy, Julie Foster and other school friends have gathered at Wally's bedside. Wally is awake. We learn that Wally's valor, courage, muscles, and football talent singlehandedly won the game and the team is going to the state playoffs!

Wally is thrilled but suddenly appears tired. Ward takes note. "Boys, I think Wally needs some rest," he says. "Thanks, Dad," Wally says, "I could use some sleep. But I want you all to know I appreciate your being here! Gosh! At a time like this, a guy is glad to know he has such great friends!" There are warm smiles and murmurs from all. Wally's family and friends leave.

A moment's pause and then a Candy Striper enters Wally's room. She carries a very large flower arrangement that obscures her face. "For Wally Cleaver from The Mayfield High Football Booster Club," she says cheerfully from somewhere behind the flowers and foliage, "Shall I put them on your bedside table, Mr. Cleaver?"

"Oh, uh ... sure," Wally answers.

The young woman places the arrangement on the bedside table. It is then that her face is revealed. Wally gasps with utter disbelief.

"Shelley Fabares! You're Shelley Fabares!" he stammers. "The girl on TV! The girl on 'The Donna Reed Show'!"

Shelley smiles. "Well, there's nothing wrong with your vision, Mr. Wally Cleaver! I'm flattered you recognized me!" She moves to Wally's bed and sits on the edge. "I understand you're a football player, Mr. Cleaver. I thought football players were rough, ugly brutes with bruises and broken noses but you're not ugly, are you? You're quite handsome!"

Wally flushes. He smiles hugely. "Say, what are you doing here in Mayfield anyways?" he asks, "Why aren't you in Hollywood making "The Donna Reed Show" and other TV shows?"

"Well, if you must know, my uncle is the head of Mayfield General. When I told him I was making a guest appearance on 'Dr. Kildare' he suggested I come here to research the hospital experience. So here I am!"

Shelley laughs lightly and then glances at Wally. She sighs. "Gosh, I love Mayfield. It's such a beautiful town. So quiet, charming - so different from Hollywood. Hollywood is such a frantic place. I'll be returning to Hollywood tomorrow morning but I could absolutely stay in Mayfield forever!"

"I wish you would stay here forever," Wally says. "I fell in love with you a long time ago. And I fell evermore deeply in love with you when you sang 'Johnny Angel.' It's my favorite song."

"My goodness!" Shelley says with warmth, "I'm ... I'm overwhelmed!"

"Please ... please, sing it for me, Shelley!" Wally teases.

Shelley sings her chart-topping hit:

"Johnny Angel, how I love him.
He's got something I can't resist,
but he doesn't even know that I exist.

Johnny Angel, how I want him.
How I tingle when he passes by.
Every time he says "Hello" my heart begins to fly.

I remember how I get carried away.
I dream of him and me, and how it's gonna be.
Other fellas call me up for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I'd rather concentrate ...

... on Johnny Angel.
'Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he'll love me.
And together we will see how lovely heaven will be."

Wally has listened closely to Shelley's song. The veins in his temples throb and his nostrils flare with passion. Shelley takes Wally's face in her hands. She presses her lips to his. "That's for being such a great, big football hero!" she murmurs.

Shelley rises. "I must go. There are other patients I must see. Goodbye, Wally! And good luck! I'll write you when I get home to Hollywood!" Wally gazes after the departing Shelley. "I love her so much!" he sighs. Music and fade.

Epilogue: Wally's hospital room two hours later. Wally is alone; he is out of bed. He is wearing white boxer shorts and a pair of white work socks. His torso is drenched with sweat. He is doing Jumping Jacks in the center of the room. "998 ... 999 ... 1,000!" he shouts.

The door to the room opens and the Cleavers enter. "Wally! What's going on?!" Ward stammers with alarm, "The doctor told us you wouldn't be out of bed for days - possibly weeks!"

Wally smiles. "I feel great, Dad!" he says, "Let's go home!"


Below: Donna Reed and Shelley Fabares

[Courtnee]