My Immortal [Warning! Sad fic!] - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Snowfall · 05-27-2004, 08:59 PM

I've been thinking about writing a sad CD/Nate fic for a while, but could never bring myself to do it. Well, last night, SOMEONE told me that I'm obsessed (you know who you are

), so I just want to prove to her that I'm NOT! Well, at least no more than SHE is.

Wow, I'm obsessed with not being obsessed. I know, Lisa, I'm a dork, no need to remind me.

Read with caution---don't say I didn't warn you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

To the uninvolved observer, it was a sad, but beautiful moment. But to Nathan and Candace Basso, it was so much more than that. It was everything—the beginning and end, joy and pain, life and death. Both felt it, and although neither wanted it to be happening, they also knew that it wasn’t to be missed. Nate sat beside his wife of 3 year’s hospital bed, holding her hand and watching her sleep. He hoped to God that this was just a nightmare that he would soon wake up from, but he sadly knew that it was real. He thought back to the years he and CD had shared together—the first 2 years as partners and friends, then when they confessed their love for each other and started their relationship, and then when they got married. They had been so excited when they found out that their son, Drew, was on his way. Their lives were perfect, and they never could have anticipated that, at 4 months pregnant, they would find out that CD had malignant breast cancer. When that news came, their would came crashing down. The doctors told CD that she needed to be treated for it immediately, but that they couldn’t do it because of the baby. They recommended that CD get an abortion, but she had refused. She wouldn’t kill her and Nate’s precious little baby, even if it meant sacrificing her own life for it. She loved her baby too much to put her own life above his. Although Nate was terrified of losing either of them, he supported CD in whatever decision she made. He tried to be strong for her when she was around, but the stress and horror of the possibility of losing them turned him into a basket case when he was alone. At 7 months along, the doctors had induced the baby. Although Drew was born healthy, he was premature, and needed extra care. The doctors immediately began chemotherapy and radiation on CD, but it was too late. The cancer had spread and entered her bloodstream.

Nate’s thoughts popped back to the present. Drew was now 2 months old, and doing fine. CD and Nate tried to treasure every single moment that they had together as a family, because they knew that there wouldn’t be very many. Nate would have to live on these memories for the rest of his life. He tried to get as many pictures as possible of CD and the baby, him and CD, and all three of them together. He promised CD that he would show them to Drew every day. He wanted Drew to know the wonderful, selfless, loving woman that was his mother. CD tried to be brave about it all. She knew that she was going to a better place, but cried at the thought of leaving Nate and her baby behind. She tried to picture what it would be like if the roles were reversed, and she were the one left behind instead of Nate, but it hurt too much to contemplate it.

One night, Nate was awakened by a ring of the phone. His stomach lurched as he picked up. “Basso.”

“Mr. Basso, this is Dr. Lusk. You need to get down here right away.”

Nate nodded. A tear rolled down his cheek. He knew what this was. “I’ll be right there,” he managed to get out before the sobs came. He threw on some clothes, and then carefully pulled a sleeping Drew out of his cradle and put him in his carrier. Nate filled a bottle, put it in the diaper bag, picked up the carrier, and left for the hospital.

The tiny dark-haired boy with blue eyes was still sleeping when Nate rushed with him into CD’s hospital room. The doctor and a few nurses and technicians were there, attending to her. Nate looked like hell. He’d barely gotten any sleep. Dark circles were under his eyes. His hair was a little long, it was a mess, and he hadn’t shaved in nearly a week. All of his time and energy went into CD and the baby.

Dr. Lusk approached him. He looked very somber. “I don’t expect her to make it to the morning. It’s time to say goodbye.”

Tears continued to roll down Nate’s cheeks. He didn’t say anything, but sat down next to CD. She stirred and opened her eyes at his presence. “Hey,” she whispered, and tried to smile.

Nate brushed her cheek with his hand. “I want you to know, CD, that I love you more than anything else in this world. I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens or how much time passes,” Nate blubbered out.

CD smiled. “I know you will, Nate. And I want you to know that you are my world, my everything. I’ll always love you, too, even after I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that, CD, please,” he cried.

“I have to, Nate. It’s my time. But you need to stay strong, for Drew. He needs his daddy so much right now.” Tears were now sliding down CD’s cheeks, too. She clasped her husband’s hand as she spoke.

Nate sadly nodded. “I will, CD. I promise. And I’ll never, ever let him forget his mommy. I’ll never let him forget how beautiful she was, and how much she loves him, and how much she loves me.” CD and Nate sat in silence for a minute, their eyes remaining on each other. Nate wanted to always remember her face. That sweet face that he’s fallen in love with at first sight.

Then CD said, “Can you do just one thing for me?”

“Anything. Name it, and it’s yours,” Nate replied earnestly.

“Can you just kiss me, one last time?”

Nate’s eyes pooled again, and he tried to catch his breath. “Absolutely,” he said. He leaned over and softly, tenderly, gently kissed CD.

“Thank you,” she said when it ended. “Do you remember our first kiss?”

“I could never forget it,” Nate replied.

Soon, CD began to fade. Terror overtook Nate, and his face went shock white. “CD! Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave me.....” he sobbed.

“Tell Drew that I love him.....” she trailed off.

“I will, CD, I will. I love you so much.....”

“Nate.....Nate, I love you,” CD uttered with her last breath. With her hand joined to Nate’s, her eyes directed at him, and a bittersweet smile on her face, CD died. Her heart monitor’s beeps turned into one, long, continuous drone, and medical staff rushed in.

Nate’s back and shoulders heaved as he wept. He gave CD one last kiss goodbye. Then he heard his baby wake up with a cry. When Nate looked at him, he realized that God had given Drew to him as a constant, living reminder of CD, and the love that they shared. Nate picked up his little boy and cradled him to his chest. He kissed the top of his head and said between sobs, “You have the most wonderful mom in the world, you know that?”

Nate never was the same again after that day. When CD died, a part of him had died as well. He tried is best to be the best dad AND mom to Drew that he could be. But he had a hole in his heart and his life that could never be filled by anyone but his CD. He never fell in love again. No one could ever understand him the way that CD did. No one could ever understand the complexity and intensity of their love. She was his soul mate. CD, and only CD, was the love of his life.

~
I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you’d cry I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held you hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
The way you resonated light
Now I’m bound by the love you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chases away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you’d cry I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held you hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me,
I’ve been alone all along

When you’d cry I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me......
~

THE END

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The song is "My Immortal," credited to Evanescence.

maria1986 · 05-27-2004, 10:14 PM

oh God Tara, ANOTHER CD and Nate fic!? Don't you know how annoying it is getting having to read all these awful CD/Nate fics?

Seriously...that freakin' made me cry!

Yeah I know there was a warning that didn't help!...lol...it was really really good though...*sniffs*...

turtle63102 · 05-27-2004, 10:18 PM

Um, Tara, sweety, did you hit your head? Why did you do a sad story?

Very unlike you. But, great story.

Snowfall · 05-27-2004, 11:05 PM

(Deirdre)

oh, Tara, i have a tear down my face. not really, but i could have if i wasn't in such a pissy mood and let me get into the story!!! that was sp sweet. and so sad. but great

candace~n~nathan · 05-28-2004, 12:42 AM

i'll be the first to admit-- it's sometimes relaxing to write a sad fic. I thought that that was truly wonderful, even if I did cry like a baby!!!

that was very, VERY great, but now I have to go read your happy fic!!!!

Even if it IS CD/Nate! EWWW!!!!

Snowfall · 05-28-2004, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by maria1986
oh God Tara, ANOTHER CD and Nate fic!? Don't you know how annoying it is getting having to read all these awful CD/Nate fics?

CandyBasso · 05-29-2004, 01:50 PM

Dang this fic Tara!!!! It got me crying like a baby!!!!

It was soo sooo sad.....but I loved it!!! It was really great....but SO sad

NJM1966 · 05-29-2004, 06:25 PM

Love it love it love it! I knoW what you mean Snowfall everyone including TheDivision fans tell me Im too obsessed lol which I am and I know! I am also one who loves drama so thats why i love those dreadful saddd fics lol x0x0Jessie Mores mores mores!

Irish_Rose_Kate · 05-29-2004, 06:52 PM

What can I say I really liked it...sad, but very good. And yeah the Evanescence song drew me in. However at the end of the fic, I couldn't bring myself to read the song, cause I knew then I would cry. anyway I too love Drama Great job!

Snowfall · 06-12-2004, 03:33 PM

I'm so glad that although everyone was saddened by this fic, you all liked it. I know it was unusual for me, but I needed to write it. It was actually pretty hard for me.....I cried while I wrote it, which I don't think I've ever done before. Thanks for all your sweet comments, everybody.

It makes writing a pleasure.

05-27-2004, 08:59 PM	#1
Snowfall CD and Nate Forever Senior Member Join Date: Aug 18, 2003 Location: Stars Hollow (I wish!) Posts: 1,780	My Immortal [Warning! Sad fic!] I've been thinking about writing a sad CD/Nate fic for a while, but could never bring myself to do it. Well, last night, SOMEONE told me that I'm obsessed (you know who you are ), so I just want to prove to her that I'm NOT! Well, at least no more than SHE is. Wow, I'm obsessed with not being obsessed. I know, Lisa, I'm a dork, no need to remind me. Read with caution---don't say I didn't warn you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the uninvolved observer, it was a sad, but beautiful moment. But to Nathan and Candace Basso, it was so much more than that. It was everything—the beginning and end, joy and pain, life and death. Both felt it, and although neither wanted it to be happening, they also knew that it wasn’t to be missed. Nate sat beside his wife of 3 year’s hospital bed, holding her hand and watching her sleep. He hoped to God that this was just a nightmare that he would soon wake up from, but he sadly knew that it was real. He thought back to the years he and CD had shared together—the first 2 years as partners and friends, then when they confessed their love for each other and started their relationship, and then when they got married. They had been so excited when they found out that their son, Drew, was on his way. Their lives were perfect, and they never could have anticipated that, at 4 months pregnant, they would find out that CD had malignant breast cancer. When that news came, their would came crashing down. The doctors told CD that she needed to be treated for it immediately, but that they couldn’t do it because of the baby. They recommended that CD get an abortion, but she had refused. She wouldn’t kill her and Nate’s precious little baby, even if it meant sacrificing her own life for it. She loved her baby too much to put her own life above his. Although Nate was terrified of losing either of them, he supported CD in whatever decision she made. He tried to be strong for her when she was around, but the stress and horror of the possibility of losing them turned him into a basket case when he was alone. At 7 months along, the doctors had induced the baby. Although Drew was born healthy, he was premature, and needed extra care. The doctors immediately began chemotherapy and radiation on CD, but it was too late. The cancer had spread and entered her bloodstream. Nate’s thoughts popped back to the present. Drew was now 2 months old, and doing fine. CD and Nate tried to treasure every single moment that they had together as a family, because they knew that there wouldn’t be very many. Nate would have to live on these memories for the rest of his life. He tried to get as many pictures as possible of CD and the baby, him and CD, and all three of them together. He promised CD that he would show them to Drew every day. He wanted Drew to know the wonderful, selfless, loving woman that was his mother. CD tried to be brave about it all. She knew that she was going to a better place, but cried at the thought of leaving Nate and her baby behind. She tried to picture what it would be like if the roles were reversed, and she were the one left behind instead of Nate, but it hurt too much to contemplate it. One night, Nate was awakened by a ring of the phone. His stomach lurched as he picked up. “Basso.” “Mr. Basso, this is Dr. Lusk. You need to get down here right away.” Nate nodded. A tear rolled down his cheek. He knew what this was. “I’ll be right there,” he managed to get out before the sobs came. He threw on some clothes, and then carefully pulled a sleeping Drew out of his cradle and put him in his carrier. Nate filled a bottle, put it in the diaper bag, picked up the carrier, and left for the hospital. The tiny dark-haired boy with blue eyes was still sleeping when Nate rushed with him into CD’s hospital room. The doctor and a few nurses and technicians were there, attending to her. Nate looked like hell. He’d barely gotten any sleep. Dark circles were under his eyes. His hair was a little long, it was a mess, and he hadn’t shaved in nearly a week. All of his time and energy went into CD and the baby. Dr. Lusk approached him. He looked very somber. “I don’t expect her to make it to the morning. It’s time to say goodbye.” Tears continued to roll down Nate’s cheeks. He didn’t say anything, but sat down next to CD. She stirred and opened her eyes at his presence. “Hey,” she whispered, and tried to smile. Nate brushed her cheek with his hand. “I want you to know, CD, that I love you more than anything else in this world. I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens or how much time passes,” Nate blubbered out. CD smiled. “I know you will, Nate. And I want you to know that you are my world, my everything. I’ll always love you, too, even after I’m gone.” “Don’t say that, CD, please,” he cried. “I have to, Nate. It’s my time. But you need to stay strong, for Drew. He needs his daddy so much right now.” Tears were now sliding down CD’s cheeks, too. She clasped her husband’s hand as she spoke. Nate sadly nodded. “I will, CD. I promise. And I’ll never, ever let him forget his mommy. I’ll never let him forget how beautiful she was, and how much she loves him, and how much she loves me.” CD and Nate sat in silence for a minute, their eyes remaining on each other. Nate wanted to always remember her face. That sweet face that he’s fallen in love with at first sight. Then CD said, “Can you do just one thing for me?” “Anything. Name it, and it’s yours,” Nate replied earnestly. “Can you just kiss me, one last time?” Nate’s eyes pooled again, and he tried to catch his breath. “Absolutely,” he said. He leaned over and softly, tenderly, gently kissed CD. “Thank you,” she said when it ended. “Do you remember our first kiss?” “I could never forget it,” Nate replied. Soon, CD began to fade. Terror overtook Nate, and his face went shock white. “CD! Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave me.....” he sobbed. “Tell Drew that I love him.....” she trailed off. “I will, CD, I will. I love you so much.....” “Nate.....Nate, I love you,” CD uttered with her last breath. With her hand joined to Nate’s, her eyes directed at him, and a bittersweet smile on her face, CD died. Her heart monitor’s beeps turned into one, long, continuous drone, and medical staff rushed in. Nate’s back and shoulders heaved as he wept. He gave CD one last kiss goodbye. Then he heard his baby wake up with a cry. When Nate looked at him, he realized that God had given Drew to him as a constant, living reminder of CD, and the love that they shared. Nate picked up his little boy and cradled him to his chest. He kissed the top of his head and said between sobs, “You have the most wonderful mom in the world, you know that?” Nate never was the same again after that day. When CD died, a part of him had died as well. He tried is best to be the best dad AND mom to Drew that he could be. But he had a hole in his heart and his life that could never be filled by anyone but his CD. He never fell in love again. No one could ever understand him the way that CD did. No one could ever understand the complexity and intensity of their love. She was his soul mate. CD, and only CD, was the love of his life. ~ I’m so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave Your presence still lingers here And it won’t leave me alone These wounds won’t seem to heal This pain is just too real There’s just too much that time cannot erase When you’d cry I’d wipe away all of your tears When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears And I held you hand through all of these years But you still have All of me You used to captivate me The way you resonated light Now I’m bound by the love you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chases away All the sanity in me These wounds won’t seem to heal This pain is just too real There’s just too much that time cannot erase When you’d cry I’d wipe away all of your tears When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears And I held you hand through all of these years But you still have All of me I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along When you’d cry I’d wipe away all of your tears When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me...... ~ THE END ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The song is "My Immortal," credited to Evanescence.
	__________________ Nate: When somebody asks for the salt, you hand them the pepper, too, even if they didn't ask for both. You never separate the salt and the pepper. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Luke: Will you marry me? Lorelai: What? Luke: Anything to shut you up.

05-27-2004, 10:18 PM	#3
turtle63102 av. designed by Cat Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 13, 2004 Posts: 209	Um, Tara, sweety, did you hit your head? Why did you do a sad story? Very unlike you. But, great story.
	__________________ "Number one, you're very close to having a bond between my foot and your ass, alright, and that's about the only bond we're ever going to share, and number two, the 'chick's' name is Inspector DeLorenzo, and if I ever hear you refer to her as a 'chick' again, I'm going to go ahead and refer you to number one. OK?!" ~ Nate Basso

05-28-2004, 12:42 AM	#5
candace~n~nathan Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 30, 2003 Posts: 1,855	i'll be the first to admit-- it's sometimes relaxing to write a sad fic. I thought that that was truly wonderful, even if I did cry like a baby!!! that was very, VERY great, but now I have to go read your happy fic!!!! Even if it IS CD/Nate! EWWW!!!!
	__________________ Drunk guy: What's her name? Is it Jennifer? It's usually Jennifer. Is it Heather? Sometimes it's Heather. Nate- It's Candace. But we, uh, call her CD.

05-29-2004, 01:50 PM	#7
CandyBasso Member Frequent Poster Join Date: May 09, 2004 Location: Drooling over Jay picture Posts: 120	Dang this fic Tara!!!! It got me crying like a baby!!!! It was soo sooo sad.....but I loved it!!! It was really great....but SO sad
	__________________ Rasa I used to be Planet_stella, but my SN doesn't work anymore...

05-29-2004, 06:25 PM	#8
NJM1966 Jo Occasional Poster Join Date: May 23, 2004 Location: Levittown, Pa..wish Texas..Nancy is there* Posts: 17	Love it love it love it! I knoW what you mean Snowfall everyone including TheDivision fans tell me Im too obsessed lol which I am and I know! I am also one who loves drama so thats why i love those dreadful saddd fics lol x0x0Jessie Mores mores mores!
	__________________ I used to be registered on MinnieMckeon but for some reason it wont let me sign on to there. My sn is TheDivision900..IM me at anytime!Pr0ud Nancy lookalike! x0x0Jessie

05-27-2004, 10:14 PM	#2
maria1986 HATCHEE GAL Forum Regular Join Date: Dec 15, 2001 Location: FL Posts: 780	oh God Tara, ANOTHER CD and Nate fic!? Don't you know how annoying it is getting having to read all these awful CD/Nate fics? Seriously...that freakin' made me cry! Yeah I know there was a warning that didn't help!...lol...it was really really good though...sniffs...

05-27-2004, 11:05 PM	#4
Snowfall CD and Nate Forever Senior Member Join Date: Aug 18, 2003 Location: Stars Hollow (I wish!) Posts: 1,780	(Deirdre) oh, Tara, i have a tear down my face. not really, but i could have if i wasn't in such a pissy mood and let me get into the story!!! that was sp sweet. and so sad. but great

05-29-2004, 06:52 PM	#9
Irish_Rose_Kate Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Mar 23, 2004 Location: Lost? I was looking for my way, but took a wrong turn, and will be forever lost. Posts: 248	What can I say I really liked it...sad, but very good. And yeah the Evanescence song drew me in. However at the end of the fic, I couldn't bring myself to read the song, cause I knew then I would cry. anyway I too love Drama Great job!
	__________________ Val: Hey Karen, Guess who’s pregnant? Karen: (smiles): NOT ME! Val: Kate is! (that’s Brian’s fiancé. Val looks at Brian and Kate). Their getting married. Both Mac and Karen: Congratulations ( they both hug Brian and Kate.) Karen: (looks at Brian).: So I take it your mother doesn’t know? Brain: No. Val: (smiles excitedly). : Ohhhhh, let me tell her!! (everyone starts cracking up). Then Karen’s son and Mac’s stepson Michael and his wife pull up, and get out of the car. Karen: Michael what a surprise. What are you doing here? (Abby walks out side from Karen’s house, and she sees her nephew and. Michael: Aunt Abby. (He waits a beat then says) we’re going to have a baby! (Karen and Mac just stand there stunned for a minute. Abby: (Hugs Michael) Congratulations. A baby. (She starts walking past Karen.) Karen: (Still in shock) A baby? Abby: (does a double take). And... Karen....that means your going to be a...(starts laughing but trying to stop herself...but she just keeps laughing. Kate: Abby I don’t think you want to be laughing right now. Abby: (still trying to keep herself from laughing, but can’t help herself from laughing). : I can’t help it....(laughs) It’s just kind of struck me funny. (still laughing). Karen: Brian, why don’t you share your wonder full news with your mother. Brian: (trying to keep a striate face as well Gary, and Val give each other a high five. And everyone is laughing at this point. Brian clears his throat ) Ahemmm... ( the camera goes back to Karen and Abby. Abby realizes what’s going on now, and isn’t happy at all while Karen and everyone else is cracking up! Gary: (Camera shot back really quick to Gary, Val, Brain, and Kate. Jokingly Gary says) Grandma!(camera goes back to Karen and Abby, and once again everyone is laughing, and the picture freeze on the two of them and end of show).

06-12-2004, 03:33 PM	#10
Snowfall CD and Nate Forever Senior Member Join Date: Aug 18, 2003 Location: Stars Hollow (I wish!) Posts: 1,780	I'm so glad that although everyone was saddened by this fic, you all liked it. I know it was unusual for me, but I needed to write it. It was actually pretty hard for me.....I cried while I wrote it, which I don't think I've ever done before. Thanks for all your sweet comments, everybody. It makes writing a pleasure.