TJL
01-24-2004, 10:16 PM
More made up crap from the Sitcoms Online Press:
The Sitcoms Online community was once again thrown for a loop with today’s announcement that Senior Member and snappy dresser TJL has ended his relationship with any jokes related to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
“It’s over,” a teary eyed TJL announced in a surprise press conference from his posh Manhattan abode. “After many hours of hard thought, careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap, I have decided to end my long and fruitful association with any jokes regarding Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, or as they were more commonly known; Bennifer.”
For nearly a year TJL gleefully hurled pun filled jibes, witty barbs, and verbal groin kicks at Bennifer; culminating last Summer with the release of the Hollywood supercouple’s uberbomb “Gigli.” “TJL was so happy back then,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice noted. “He told me the jokes practically wrote themselves. Which is good since TJL has trouble holding a pen because the years of alcohol abuse has made him as shaky as Ozzy Osbourne on a cold winter morning.”
Sadly the relationship had grown strained over the past few months when lack of news and gossip regarding Ben and Jen made it hard for TJL to make fun of them. “TJL was really trying to make it work, but Bennifer decided to lay low, ” Mariah Carey thread starter MonarC confided. “How can you expect someone to write a ‘Top Ten’ list about you when you won’t do anything stupid?”
When Jen and Ben ended their relationship earlier this week, TJL shuttered himself in his study, where wept profusely and ordered his tech support people to purge any unpublished bits about Bennifer from his computer. “It broke my heart to delete so many pieces of comic gold,” an insider reported. “ He had this great bit about Ben’s hairpiece being interviewed by that guy from Inside The Actors Studio. No one can write funny hairpiece dialog like TJL.”
Though still visibly shaken by the breakup, TJL has vowed to shoulder on through the crisis and find some new famous people or current events to ridicule. “I’m told there are these people called politicians that can be amusing,” he said. “I’ve also heard there’s some kind of war thingy going on in Iraq, which sounds like a load of laughs. But it’s going to be a while before I mock another celebrity. It’s just too soon… Are Demi and Ashton still together?"
;)
The Sitcoms Online community was once again thrown for a loop with today’s announcement that Senior Member and snappy dresser TJL has ended his relationship with any jokes related to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
“It’s over,” a teary eyed TJL announced in a surprise press conference from his posh Manhattan abode. “After many hours of hard thought, careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap, I have decided to end my long and fruitful association with any jokes regarding Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, or as they were more commonly known; Bennifer.”
For nearly a year TJL gleefully hurled pun filled jibes, witty barbs, and verbal groin kicks at Bennifer; culminating last Summer with the release of the Hollywood supercouple’s uberbomb “Gigli.” “TJL was so happy back then,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice noted. “He told me the jokes practically wrote themselves. Which is good since TJL has trouble holding a pen because the years of alcohol abuse has made him as shaky as Ozzy Osbourne on a cold winter morning.”
Sadly the relationship had grown strained over the past few months when lack of news and gossip regarding Ben and Jen made it hard for TJL to make fun of them. “TJL was really trying to make it work, but Bennifer decided to lay low, ” Mariah Carey thread starter MonarC confided. “How can you expect someone to write a ‘Top Ten’ list about you when you won’t do anything stupid?”
When Jen and Ben ended their relationship earlier this week, TJL shuttered himself in his study, where wept profusely and ordered his tech support people to purge any unpublished bits about Bennifer from his computer. “It broke my heart to delete so many pieces of comic gold,” an insider reported. “ He had this great bit about Ben’s hairpiece being interviewed by that guy from Inside The Actors Studio. No one can write funny hairpiece dialog like TJL.”
Though still visibly shaken by the breakup, TJL has vowed to shoulder on through the crisis and find some new famous people or current events to ridicule. “I’m told there are these people called politicians that can be amusing,” he said. “I’ve also heard there’s some kind of war thingy going on in Iraq, which sounds like a load of laughs. But it’s going to be a while before I mock another celebrity. It’s just too soon… Are Demi and Ashton still together?"
;)