TJL
11-23-2003, 04:23 PM
Breaking News From the Sitcoms Online Press...
New York - Police and FBI officials raided the palatial estate of Sitcoms Online Senior Member TJL this morning, after a months long investigation into his financial misdeeds and personal shenanigans.
Acting on several anonymous tips, investigators searched the lush grounds of Lemonjello, TJL's private xanadu high in the hills of Weehawken, New Jersey and found a warehouse containing 5 million cases of Pokemon cards, a full scale replica of the 4077th M*A*S*H set, a sweatshop filled with illegal immigrants making Sean John apparel, and one of those big slides where you have to sit on a potato sack to ride it.
A thorough search of the vine covered main house uncovered rooms filled with knick-knacks, doo-dads, the only known copy of an episode of "Two Guys And A Girl" that was actually funny, and several hundred copies of TJL's new book "How I Stole Tons Of Loot And Hid It Where They Will Never Find It Ha Ha."
When asked to verify reports that TJL's home was often used as a party house where scantily clad models catered to his sexual whims, a spokesman replied "I can tell you without a doubt that no sexual activity occured here. None. Not even close. Are you kidding me? Quakers get more action than he does."
TJL was shuttered in his private penthouse in New York and refused comment except to say that he could totally have sex with models if he wanted to.
;)
New York - Police and FBI officials raided the palatial estate of Sitcoms Online Senior Member TJL this morning, after a months long investigation into his financial misdeeds and personal shenanigans.
Acting on several anonymous tips, investigators searched the lush grounds of Lemonjello, TJL's private xanadu high in the hills of Weehawken, New Jersey and found a warehouse containing 5 million cases of Pokemon cards, a full scale replica of the 4077th M*A*S*H set, a sweatshop filled with illegal immigrants making Sean John apparel, and one of those big slides where you have to sit on a potato sack to ride it.
A thorough search of the vine covered main house uncovered rooms filled with knick-knacks, doo-dads, the only known copy of an episode of "Two Guys And A Girl" that was actually funny, and several hundred copies of TJL's new book "How I Stole Tons Of Loot And Hid It Where They Will Never Find It Ha Ha."
When asked to verify reports that TJL's home was often used as a party house where scantily clad models catered to his sexual whims, a spokesman replied "I can tell you without a doubt that no sexual activity occured here. None. Not even close. Are you kidding me? Quakers get more action than he does."
TJL was shuttered in his private penthouse in New York and refused comment except to say that he could totally have sex with models if he wanted to.
;)