View Full Version : Funny Newspaper Headlines


I_Love_Fonzie
08-02-2003, 04:18 AM
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

* Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

* Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

* Eye Drops Off Shelf

* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

* Cold wave linked to temperatures

* Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

* Glass eye no help in identifying corpse

* Doctor testifies in horse suit

* Milk drinkers are turning to powder

* Squad helps dog bite victim

* Dealers will hear car talk at noon

* Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests

* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

ABlairican Pie
08-02-2003, 08:35 AM
:eek: :lol:

Does Jay Leno still do those funny news clips on the Tonight Show?

fr00ti
08-02-2003, 10:56 AM
Originally posted by Captain ABlairica
:eek: :lol:

Does Jay Leno still do those funny news clips on the Tonight Show?

Yup he does them on Monday night. Last week he had a car ad that said "For sale: 79' Dodge lesbian" omg :rotflmao: that was so funny.

laceyinthesky
08-02-2003, 11:52 AM
:lol: Where'd you find this list? Are there any more that you didn't post?

webuster
08-02-2003, 05:16 PM
I've never actually spotted a funny headline in my local paper- but there are at least 100 typos everyweek- some just laughable. I really think I should have a shot at editing the paper, but I don't even think there is such a post as 'editor' at the newspaper.

Brian
08-02-2003, 05:23 PM
Here are one from the Sports section of the San Diego Union Tribune a few years back.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0h No! (This was about the Charger's continuing losing streak in a season in which they started out with a big losing streak in a 1-15 season)

Warm & Fuzzy
08-02-2003, 07:38 PM
Originally posted by I_Love_Fonzie
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

* Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

* Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

* Eye Drops Off Shelf

* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

* Cold wave linked to temperatures

* Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

* Glass eye no help in identifying corpse

* Doctor testifies in horse suit

* Milk drinkers are turning to powder

* Squad helps dog bite victim

* Dealers will hear car talk at noon

* Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests

* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Yeah, I've seen this list before. :lol:
In sixth grade, we were told to make up stories using those headlines. You can't begin to believe what I came up with. :lol:

Dude111
08-28-2025, 06:34 AM
Hehe here are alot more :D

www.rrcs.org/Downloads/funny_headlines_list4.pdf