CD DeLorenzo
07-08-2003, 05:13 PM
I just remembered this. I made it at some page... and it was fun, so I thought maybe ya'll like too...
created at http://www.shrineofinsanity.com/interactivestories/slinger1.htm
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Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! CD is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers Jinny. So everyone please put your hands together for CD!
Jerry: Okay, now CD you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
CD: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
CD: Nate.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Nate, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you CD, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Kate!
CD: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere CD pulls out a gun. Kate reaches for the loveseat. Out of the shadows Paul appears.
Paul: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Kate.
Kate: Because I saw CD and Paul making out at Alcatraz!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Paul: That's a lie! I was home watching JAG!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Kate?
Kate: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Jinny who has recently become engaged to Paul.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Jinny out here because CD had something that she needed to tell her anyway about... Nate that's right!
Jinny: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Nate! You know how I feel about Nate!.
Paul: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Nate!
Jinny: Because I knew that I could never have Nate. But CD promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Paul: What about respect for MY feelings!
Kate walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Jinny.
Kate: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Paul: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Paul runs across the room and wraps his arms around CD tightly.
Paul: CD take me away from all of this!
CD: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Paul: Married?
CD nods.
Paul: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
CD: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Nate.
Jinny: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Nate: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 739 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... CD is married to Nate who Jinny has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Jinny has recently become engaged to Paul who was recently spotted kissing CD at Alcatraz. Now on top of this Kate has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Jinny.
Nate: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
created at http://www.shrineofinsanity.com/interactivestories/slinger1.htm
****************************************************
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! CD is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers Jinny. So everyone please put your hands together for CD!
Jerry: Okay, now CD you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
CD: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
CD: Nate.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Nate, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you CD, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Kate!
CD: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere CD pulls out a gun. Kate reaches for the loveseat. Out of the shadows Paul appears.
Paul: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Kate.
Kate: Because I saw CD and Paul making out at Alcatraz!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Paul: That's a lie! I was home watching JAG!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Kate?
Kate: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Jinny who has recently become engaged to Paul.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Jinny out here because CD had something that she needed to tell her anyway about... Nate that's right!
Jinny: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Nate! You know how I feel about Nate!.
Paul: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Nate!
Jinny: Because I knew that I could never have Nate. But CD promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Paul: What about respect for MY feelings!
Kate walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Jinny.
Kate: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Paul: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Paul runs across the room and wraps his arms around CD tightly.
Paul: CD take me away from all of this!
CD: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Paul: Married?
CD nods.
Paul: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
CD: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Nate.
Jinny: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Nate: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 739 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... CD is married to Nate who Jinny has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Jinny has recently become engaged to Paul who was recently spotted kissing CD at Alcatraz. Now on top of this Kate has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Jinny.
Nate: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.