FIFTEEN THINGS TO DO AT K-MART TO SUBVERT THE DOMINANT PARADIGM:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in
housewares" -- and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you
people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick
your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
"Mission Impossible."

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size
funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME!
PICK ME!!!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position
and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

And last but not least,

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet
paper in here!"

:lol:

Well, now we know what Nate's been doing since he got banned from SO...

Originally posted by Snoopy
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
aren't looking.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in
housewares" -- and see what happens.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position
and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet
paper in here!"
:lol: I like #4.

and this is why im glad my local kmart closed

Originally posted by •Shotz|NYC•

:lol: I like #4.

Ditto:lol:

Originally posted by jimmiegirl48
:lol:

Well, now we know what Nate's been doing since he got banned from SO...


:lol:

Originally posted by jimmiegirl48
:lol:

Well, now we know what Nate's been doing since he got banned from SO...

LOL :lol:

:lol: I like # 14

I've seen that before, only for Walmart. :lol: :lol:

Oh no! Snoopy is posessed by the spirit of Rainman!

Get an exorcist in here stat!

;)

Originally posted by TJL
Oh no! Snoopy is posessed by the spirit of Rainman!

Get an exorcist in here stat!

;)

No, I just have her hostage in my basement. I'm going to torment her by making her watch Last of the Summer wine and listen to my wonderful stories about K-Mart! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

(Kristen: "Help me, guys!")

;)

some kid did #1 to my grandma. only she didnt realize they were in there until she went to pay for everything. lmao

those are really funny i should try em. i saw another from somewhere else

When you're in the bathroom, ask the person in the stall next to you if you can borrow a highlighter

Originally posted by Snoopy
FIFTEEN THINGS TO DO AT K-MART TO SUBVERT THE DOMINANT PARADIGM:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
aren't looking.


14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position
and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"




:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Originally posted by Snoopy


No, I just have her hostage in my basement. I'm going to torment her by making her watch Last of the Summer wine and listen to my wonderful stories about K-Mart! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

(Kristen: "Help me, guys!")

;)
:eek: Are you feeding her?

those are great LOL :lol:

:lol:

OHMYGOD those are hilarious I'm cracking up here :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: Those are hilarious!!

Graham Norton got someone on a webcam to pick up Tampons and put them in a mans shopping trolley once.

Hehehe I wonder if anyone ever DID any of this??

:D

Can't realistically do any of them anymore: there are only 21 Kmarts left in the US (https://brostocks.com/2021/07/12/how-many-kmarts-are-left-in-the-united-states/).

OMG, on the occasions I went to KMarts it was to buy some stuff...To go to have Fun, ummm.

OMG, on the occasions I went to KMarts it was to buy some stuff...To go to have Fun, ummm.

I had fun buying stuff ! I love shopping !! :)

Can't realistically do any of them anymore: there are only 21 Kmarts left in the US (https://brostocks.com/2021/07/12/how-many-kmarts-are-left-in-the-united-states/).

Yeah, I miss my local KMart that closed down a few years ago ! :( I miss Sears too ! The two closest to me closed down years ago !! :(

those are really funny i should try em.

Hehehe I wonder if anyone ever DID any of this??

:D
i did, and years later realized the liability i could have caused a business by moving a "wet floor" sign.

I had fun buying stuff ! I love shopping !! :)

I kinda loved shopping too, and now getting rid of all the stuff I bought. My sister was the queen of shopping and they had yard sales that would bring in $1000's of dollars, every time they moved. When I think of the stuff she bought, WOW, I'm the practical sister and she was born 10 yrs later, so very different and into making lots of money. Love her, she's gone.

Yeah, I miss my local KMart that closed down a few years ago ! :( I miss Sears too ! The two closest to me closed down years ago !! :(

I definitely miss Sears; they had awesome Craftsman tools, and a good lawn and garden section. There was a time when you could go to Sears for eye exams, tires, tools, clothing, and appliances. Then Eddie Lampert happened. You could see the slow decline: they even stopped selling TVs about a year before they closed. When our local Sears closed, many people were very sad, and lots of people in the community came out for the liquidation sales; the store was packed during the last few weeks. I felt bad for the employees, knowing the stockholders were getting a huge bonus while all these store workers would be out of a job just after Christmas. Now our mall has no anchor on the south end, and all the shops alongside it have also closed. It seems likely our mall is doomed.

I had gone to Kmart when I was a kid, and remember those stores fondly. They would have those Blue Light Specials, and the front of the store smelled like popcorn, because they were always popping popcorn.

But the Kmart in my community was... badly dated. They never bothered to update, so everything in there still felt like it was 1985. Even in 2017, they were still playing 1980s music over the speakers. Walking into that Kmart felt like going into a time machine. I did buy some bookshelves there around 2012, but I ended up doing most of my shopping for housewares at Target or Sears. Near the end, they became a "Super Kmart" and started selling groceries, but these changes were far, far too late: people's shopping patterns had been established, and virtually no-one went to the store anymore. They closed in 2018.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in
housewares" -- and see what happens.What would happen??

What is a code 3??

Oh KMart...they were somehow scuzzier than Walmart. Don't miss them.

Can't realistically do any of them anymore: there are only 21 Kmarts left in the US (https://brostocks.com/2021/07/12/how-many-kmarts-are-left-in-the-united-states/).

Somehow Guam manages to keep one open. :crazy:

Somehow Guam manages to keep one open. :crazy:

I noticed that, too. I wonder how that's possible. Guam does not have a huge population and shipping stuff to the island has to be expensive.

I definitely miss Sears; they had awesome Craftsman tools, and a good lawn and garden section. There was a time when you could go to Sears for eye exams, tires, tools, clothing, and appliances. Then Eddie Lampert happened. You could see the slow decline: they even stopped selling TVs about a year before they closed. When our local Sears closed, many people were very sad, and lots of people in the community came out for the liquidation sales; the store was packed during the last few weeks. I felt bad for the employees, knowing the stockholders were getting a huge bonus while all these store workers would be out of a job just after Christmas. Now our mall has no anchor on the south end, and all the shops alongside it have also closed. It seems likely our mall is doomed.

I had gone to Kmart when I was a kid, and remember those stores fondly. They would have those Blue Light Specials, and the front of the store smelled like popcorn, because they were always popping popcorn.

But the Kmart in my community was... badly dated. They never bothered to update, so everything in there still felt like it was 1985. Even in 2017, they were still playing 1980s music over the speakers. Walking into that Kmart felt like going into a time machine. I did buy some bookshelves there around 2012, but I ended up doing most of my shopping for housewares at Target or Sears. Near the end, they became a "Super Kmart" and started selling groceries, but these changes were far, far too late: people's shopping patterns had been established, and virtually no-one went to the store anymore. They closed in 2018.


Oh now see I liked that ! Being old fashioned and kind of run down was part of KMarts charm I thought ! :)

But you could find gems in there ! They sold the best capri leggings , really inexpensive but not poor quality, they lasted long ! :)

Oh now see I liked that ! Being old fashioned and kind of run down was part of KMarts charm I thought ! :)

But you could find gems in there ! They sold the best capri leggings , really inexpensive but not poor quality, they lasted long ! :)

I'm not saying Retro doesn't have its charm ;)...