Sitcomwriter
04-06-2003, 02:05 AM
Christina:And now it's time for the series premiere of "Prospect Place" which is basically "Cheers" with a bunch of different characters.The premiere is basically just an introduction to all of the characters.Anyway without further ado Here's the series premiere of "Prospect Place" only on SWN 1!
“Prospect Place”
#1:”The day Amanda walked in”
Theme Song:"Seemless" by Jason Faulkner (http://www.jadayf.com/mp3/seemless.mp3)
Cast:
Nicholas Cage as Nelson Dupree
Caroline Rhea as Caroline Calvin
David Arquette as Ronald Donahue
Christopher Walken as Conan Wallace
Colin Quinn as Franklin Freedom
Sean Hayes as Vincent Oliver
Carmen Rasmusen as Amanda Christopher
Renee Zellweger as Ivy Cohen
Bernie Mac as Marlon Duncan
(Prospect Place.Nelson is behind the bar wiping it off.Ronald and Franklin are sitting on stools)
Ronald:I’m so depressed
Franklin:Are you ever NOT depressed?
Ronald:Can I have another shot of Vodka Nelson?
Nelson:Ronald that’s your 500th shot today
Ronald:I’m an alcoholic.Drinking is what we do best
(Opening Credits)
(Prospect Place.Nelson and Marlon are behind the bar.Ronald,Franklin and Vincent are sitting on stools.The bar is empty except for them)
Vincent:Oh Frankie Darling you have it totally wrong.The best New Kid on the block was Joey
Marlon:Ok I was just in the bathroom for 5 minutes so I might have missed something but Franklin it’s REALLY sad that you were talking to Vincent about NKOTB
Nelson:It’s sadder that you call them NKOTB
(Conan enters)
All but Conan:Hey Conan
Conan:I had an awful day today
Nelson:Well sit down and tell us all about it
(Conan sits at the only remaining stool)
Conan:Well I arrived at the grocery store where I work and I was fired
Franklin:Why?
Conan:A guy was attempting to steal melons and I threatened to handcuff him
Nelson:You still have your handcuffs from when you were a cop?
Conan:No but I just miss the old job
Colin:Kind of like how I miss Jerry and the old name
Conan:Yeah so do I
Vincent:Me too
Marlon:Yeah
Caroline:Yep
Ivy:Ditto
Ronald:I second well seven that
Nelson:Will you guys just drop it? Jerry is dead and now I’m the owner and the name is now Prospect Place.Jerry is dead and Trott Inn is dead whether you like it or not.I’ve only been here for 2 weeks and in the course of that time my wife and I have gotten divorced and my pet dog Randy Sue died so please try not to insult me because I’m not in the mood
All but Nelson:Sorry
Franklin:Wait….You had a dog named Randy Sue?
(Amanda enters holding some books)
Amanda:Hi Would you mind it if I studied here?
Nelson:Ok but I hope you DO realize that this is a bar
Amanda:Yes I do realize that it’s a bar…A very EMPTY bar
(Amanda sits down at a table)
All but Amanda and Nelson:Ouch
Nelson:It might be an empty bar but at least we have Ms.Pac Man
Caroline:And Frogger
Ivy:And my personal favorite centipede
Frankie:My favorite is Mortal Combat
Vincent:How can you like that awful piece of violence Frankie?
Frankie:It’s simple.I’m not gay
Amanda:I applaud you on a wide selection of childish video games
Nelson:Hey! They aren’t childish! Mortal Combat is VERY violent!
Amanda:Yeah maybe for it’s time but not compared to what there is today
Franklin:They don’t have Kill the naked women in arcade form.I checked
Marlon:We’re guys lady.We’re immature
Caroline:They seem to be more immature than children
Ivy:Much
Vincent:Very much
(Amanda opens up her book)
Franklin:She’s a hot piece of ass Nelson.You should go for her!
Vincent:Frankie You should be ashamed of yourself by using such filthy language.Marlon sweetie darling Can I please have another Cosmopolitan?
Nelson:Franklin She IS lovely but she’s like 17
Amanda:18
Nelson:18….Wait! You were listening in?
Amanda:Yeah
Nelson:That’s like an invasion of privacy
Amanda:Yeah but everybody still does it
Nelson:Everybody downloads music off the web for free but that doesn’t make it right
(Amanda gets up and approaches the bar)
Amanda:Is it because you like me? You really like me?
Nelson:No and I don’t like you.I actually can’t stand you
Amanda:If I looked at your crotch Would there be a bulge?
Nelson:No.Of course not
Marlon:Dude I’m looking right at your crotch and it’s huge
Franklin:Dude Is your name Vincent?
Vincent:Hell no.There’s only 1 Vincent Oliver and he’s right here baby
(Vincent takes a sip of his Cosmo)
Nelson:Ok maybe I’m turned on but you’re a beautiful young woman and I’m a recently divorced thirty-something year old guy
Vincent:Replace beautiful young woman with my houseboy coco and that’s every dream that I’ve had in the past week
Amanda:You want me don’t you?
Nelson:I don’t even know your name
Amanda:It’s Amanda Christopher
Nelson:I’m Nelson Dupree
Amanda:Nice to meet you.Anyway just admit it.You love me
Nelson:You’re an attractive girl but I don’t love you
Ronald:I’ll love you if you cost under $2.00 because that’s all I have
Marlon:She’s not a hooker Ronald
Ronald:Oh.Will you still have sex with me?
Amanda:I plan to be a virgin until I’m 20
Franklin:Why 20?
Amanda:Because it’s only 2 years away
Franklin:Ah
Nelson:Look we need another waitress and since you’ve been here longer than any other beautiful 18 year old girl I was wondering if you would like the job
Amanda:No
Nelson:Why not? Do you not like it here?
Amanda:Of course I like it here it’s just that….
Nelson:It’s just that what?
(Amanda walks over to the door and opens it)
Amanda:It’s just that I don’t want to be too much like Diane Chambers
(Amanda leaves and closes the door behind her)
Nelson:She is something else
Frankie:You so want her
Nelson:Maybe but just a little
(Closing Credits)
THE END
“Prospect Place”
#1:”The day Amanda walked in”
Theme Song:"Seemless" by Jason Faulkner (http://www.jadayf.com/mp3/seemless.mp3)
Cast:
Nicholas Cage as Nelson Dupree
Caroline Rhea as Caroline Calvin
David Arquette as Ronald Donahue
Christopher Walken as Conan Wallace
Colin Quinn as Franklin Freedom
Sean Hayes as Vincent Oliver
Carmen Rasmusen as Amanda Christopher
Renee Zellweger as Ivy Cohen
Bernie Mac as Marlon Duncan
(Prospect Place.Nelson is behind the bar wiping it off.Ronald and Franklin are sitting on stools)
Ronald:I’m so depressed
Franklin:Are you ever NOT depressed?
Ronald:Can I have another shot of Vodka Nelson?
Nelson:Ronald that’s your 500th shot today
Ronald:I’m an alcoholic.Drinking is what we do best
(Opening Credits)
(Prospect Place.Nelson and Marlon are behind the bar.Ronald,Franklin and Vincent are sitting on stools.The bar is empty except for them)
Vincent:Oh Frankie Darling you have it totally wrong.The best New Kid on the block was Joey
Marlon:Ok I was just in the bathroom for 5 minutes so I might have missed something but Franklin it’s REALLY sad that you were talking to Vincent about NKOTB
Nelson:It’s sadder that you call them NKOTB
(Conan enters)
All but Conan:Hey Conan
Conan:I had an awful day today
Nelson:Well sit down and tell us all about it
(Conan sits at the only remaining stool)
Conan:Well I arrived at the grocery store where I work and I was fired
Franklin:Why?
Conan:A guy was attempting to steal melons and I threatened to handcuff him
Nelson:You still have your handcuffs from when you were a cop?
Conan:No but I just miss the old job
Colin:Kind of like how I miss Jerry and the old name
Conan:Yeah so do I
Vincent:Me too
Marlon:Yeah
Caroline:Yep
Ivy:Ditto
Ronald:I second well seven that
Nelson:Will you guys just drop it? Jerry is dead and now I’m the owner and the name is now Prospect Place.Jerry is dead and Trott Inn is dead whether you like it or not.I’ve only been here for 2 weeks and in the course of that time my wife and I have gotten divorced and my pet dog Randy Sue died so please try not to insult me because I’m not in the mood
All but Nelson:Sorry
Franklin:Wait….You had a dog named Randy Sue?
(Amanda enters holding some books)
Amanda:Hi Would you mind it if I studied here?
Nelson:Ok but I hope you DO realize that this is a bar
Amanda:Yes I do realize that it’s a bar…A very EMPTY bar
(Amanda sits down at a table)
All but Amanda and Nelson:Ouch
Nelson:It might be an empty bar but at least we have Ms.Pac Man
Caroline:And Frogger
Ivy:And my personal favorite centipede
Frankie:My favorite is Mortal Combat
Vincent:How can you like that awful piece of violence Frankie?
Frankie:It’s simple.I’m not gay
Amanda:I applaud you on a wide selection of childish video games
Nelson:Hey! They aren’t childish! Mortal Combat is VERY violent!
Amanda:Yeah maybe for it’s time but not compared to what there is today
Franklin:They don’t have Kill the naked women in arcade form.I checked
Marlon:We’re guys lady.We’re immature
Caroline:They seem to be more immature than children
Ivy:Much
Vincent:Very much
(Amanda opens up her book)
Franklin:She’s a hot piece of ass Nelson.You should go for her!
Vincent:Frankie You should be ashamed of yourself by using such filthy language.Marlon sweetie darling Can I please have another Cosmopolitan?
Nelson:Franklin She IS lovely but she’s like 17
Amanda:18
Nelson:18….Wait! You were listening in?
Amanda:Yeah
Nelson:That’s like an invasion of privacy
Amanda:Yeah but everybody still does it
Nelson:Everybody downloads music off the web for free but that doesn’t make it right
(Amanda gets up and approaches the bar)
Amanda:Is it because you like me? You really like me?
Nelson:No and I don’t like you.I actually can’t stand you
Amanda:If I looked at your crotch Would there be a bulge?
Nelson:No.Of course not
Marlon:Dude I’m looking right at your crotch and it’s huge
Franklin:Dude Is your name Vincent?
Vincent:Hell no.There’s only 1 Vincent Oliver and he’s right here baby
(Vincent takes a sip of his Cosmo)
Nelson:Ok maybe I’m turned on but you’re a beautiful young woman and I’m a recently divorced thirty-something year old guy
Vincent:Replace beautiful young woman with my houseboy coco and that’s every dream that I’ve had in the past week
Amanda:You want me don’t you?
Nelson:I don’t even know your name
Amanda:It’s Amanda Christopher
Nelson:I’m Nelson Dupree
Amanda:Nice to meet you.Anyway just admit it.You love me
Nelson:You’re an attractive girl but I don’t love you
Ronald:I’ll love you if you cost under $2.00 because that’s all I have
Marlon:She’s not a hooker Ronald
Ronald:Oh.Will you still have sex with me?
Amanda:I plan to be a virgin until I’m 20
Franklin:Why 20?
Amanda:Because it’s only 2 years away
Franklin:Ah
Nelson:Look we need another waitress and since you’ve been here longer than any other beautiful 18 year old girl I was wondering if you would like the job
Amanda:No
Nelson:Why not? Do you not like it here?
Amanda:Of course I like it here it’s just that….
Nelson:It’s just that what?
(Amanda walks over to the door and opens it)
Amanda:It’s just that I don’t want to be too much like Diane Chambers
(Amanda leaves and closes the door behind her)
Nelson:She is something else
Frankie:You so want her
Nelson:Maybe but just a little
(Closing Credits)
THE END