what are ur favorite threes company quotes... if possible, try to add what episode it came from, but u dont have to...

060- Old Folks At Home
Chrissy- Hello missing persons? I'd like to report persons missing!

075- The Root of All Evil
(Chrissy buys a toy giraffe)
Janet- Well Chrissy, if we knewyou were gonna spend 200 dolllars on a stupid thing like that, we shooda talked it over
Jack- Well Janet, you spent 75 dollars on a bottle of wine
Chrissy- [big gasp] You spent 75 dollars on a bottle of wine!!!

062- Chrissy's Hospitality [Janet and Jack think Chrissy is dying]
Janet- Did the doctor tell you when you're [whisper] going?
Chrissy- Where?

075- The Root of All Evil
Chrissy- I believe you are holding my egg
Jack- What do you mean ur egg did u put ur initials on it or something [looks at it] Oh my gosh u did! [gives it to her]
[Janet comes in]
Janet- Jack could you pass me the orange juice
Jack- Be careful, Chrissy mightve put her initials on it
Janet- Jack, how could Chrissy initial orange juice?
Chrissy- When it was frozen

075- The Root of All Evil
Jack- Atleast I dont leave lip gloss on a half eaten donut!
Janet- Wwait a minute buster, I do not leave lip gloss on a half eaten donut
Chrissy- Shes right
Janet- Yup
Chrissy- I do

052- Jack Moves Out [not sure if this is the right episode]
[Janet is scared of burglars and sets up a booby trap]
[THey hear the booby trap]
Chrissy- Janet! I think your trap just caught a booby!

035- The Fast [Chrissy cant eat]
Janet- Chrissy, let's go get a glass of water
Chrissy- I'd rather have a glass of chicken

081- A Hundred Dollars A What [Chrissys last full episode]
Chrissy- M is for the mother of our very best friend, O is for Oh she really is, T is for the tender care she gave him, H is for...
Jack- Hurry up
Chrissy- No, H is for heart so pure
Jack- Put it all together and it spells MOTH
Chrissy- Ugh, I'll just finish it in the car
[Chrissy's last big shining moment]

039- Larry's Bride
[The gang is congratulating Larry on marriage]
[They are drinking wine]
Jack- This is to Happy days
Janet- Good times...
Chrissy- Little house on the prairie!!!

071- Handcuffed
Jack- Remember, I dont know you, and you dont know me
Chrissy- [looking dumbfounded in the air]
Jack- Chrissy, did you hear me?
Chrissy- I dont talk to strangers

00??- I dont know
Janet- Chrissy.. Chrissy.. Chrissy
Chrissy- What
Janet- Did you hear something?
Chrissy- Yes
Janet- What did u hear
Chrissy- I heard you say Chrissy

066- A Black Letter Day
Jack- Is there something here that I should know about
Chrissy- If you dont know then nobody knows but i know you know and you should know better
Jack- Now I know

067- The Reverend Steps Out
ChrissysDate- That was a great movie
Chrissy- Yah, the muppets are my favorite
ChrissysDate- They're so lifelike
Chrissy- I know what you mean, I juss hope Ms Piggy doesnt get stuck up now that shes a big movie star

046- Stanleys Hotline [you kinda have to see this to laugh] [and im not 100% sure about if im exactly right on this specific quote, I juss remember bits and pieces]
[Theyre trying to catch Mr Roper eavesdropping through the sink]
Jack- Chrissy, Just say thats wonderful after everything we say. okay?
Chrissy- Okay
Mrs Roper- Now we'll let them have a free months rent
Chrissy- Thats wonderful
Jack- [hurts himself] Oww
CHrissy- Thats wonderful

063- The Loan Shark
Chrissy- I borrowed 300 dollars from Mr Bustamente
Jack- Any interest
Chrissy- The interest is only 25
Janet- 25 dollars!
Chrissy- Even less than dollars, 25 percent!

do u guys have any?

:crazy:

Yup! But I'm too lazy to type them, lol, so here they are from my site:

Quotes (http://www.geocities.com/hersandhersandhis/quotes.html)
More Quotes (http://www.geocities.com/hersandhersandhis/quotespage2.html)

I have a whole bunch, and I don't wanna type em either, so this is like one of my favorites that I can think of right now...it's from the episode "A Night Not to Remember", and Janet won't let a drunken Jack see her grandmother's antique vase, because she knows he will break it...

Jack: "I'M NOT GONNA GO TO BED UNLESS YOU LEMME SEE IT!"

Originally posted by SomersCompany3
what are ur favorite threes company quotes... if possible, try to add what episode it came from, but u dont have to...

060- Old Folks At Home
Chrissy- Hello missing persons? I'd like to report persons missing!

075- The Root of All Evil
(Chrissy buys a toy giraffe)
Janet- Well Chrissy, if we knewyou were gonna spend 200 dolllars on a stupid thing like that, we shooda talked it over
Jack- Well Janet, you spent 75 dollars on a bottle of wine
Chrissy- [big gasp] You spent 75 dollars on a bottle of wine!!!

062- Chrissy's Hospitality [Janet and Jack think Chrissy is dying]
Janet- Did the doctor tell you when you're [whisper] going?
Chrissy- Where?

075- The Root of All Evil
Chrissy- I believe you are holding my egg
Jack- What do you mean ur egg did u put ur initials on it or something [looks at it] Oh my gosh u did! [gives it to her]
[Janet comes in]
Janet- Jack could you pass me the orange juice
Jack- Be careful, Chrissy mightve put her initials on it
Janet- Jack, how could Chrissy initial orange juice?
Chrissy- When it was frozen

075- The Root of All Evil
Jack- Atleast I dont leave lip gloss on a half eaten donut!
Janet- Wwait a minute buster, I do not leave lip gloss on a half eaten donut
Chrissy- Shes right
Janet- Yup
Chrissy- I do

052- Jack Moves Out [not sure if this is the right episode]
[Janet is scared of burglars and sets up a booby trap]
[THey hear the booby trap]
Chrissy- Janet! I think your trap just caught a booby!

035- The Fast [Chrissy cant eat]
Janet- Chrissy, let's go get a glass of water
Chrissy- I'd rather have a glass of chicken

081- A Hundred Dollars A What [Chrissys last full episode]
Chrissy- M is for the mother of our very best friend, O is for Oh she really is, T is for the tender care she gave him, H is for...
Jack- Hurry up
Chrissy- No, H is for heart so pure
Jack- Put it all together and it spells MOTH
Chrissy- Ugh, I'll just finish it in the car
[Chrissy's last big shining moment]

039- Larry's Bride
[The gang is congratulating Larry on marriage]
[They are drinking wine]
Jack- This is to Happy days
Janet- Good times...
Chrissy- Little house on the prairie!!!

071- Handcuffed
Jack- Remember, I dont know you, and you dont know me
Chrissy- [looking dumbfounded in the air]
Jack- Chrissy, did you hear me?
Chrissy- I dont talk to strangers

00??- I dont know
Janet- Chrissy.. Chrissy.. Chrissy
Chrissy- What
Janet- Did you hear something?
Chrissy- Yes
Janet- What did u hear
Chrissy- I heard you say Chrissy

066- A Black Letter Day
Jack- Is there something here that I should know about
Chrissy- If you dont know then nobody knows but i know you know and you should know better
Jack- Now I know

067- The Reverend Steps Out
ChrissysDate- That was a great movie
Chrissy- Yah, the muppets are my favorite
ChrissysDate- They're so lifelike
Chrissy- I know what you mean, I juss hope Ms Piggy doesnt get stuck up now that shes a big movie star

046- Stanleys Hotline [you kinda have to see this to laugh] [and im not 100% sure about if im exactly right on this specific quote, I juss remember bits and pieces]
[Theyre trying to catch Mr Roper eavesdropping through the sink]
Jack- Chrissy, Just say thats wonderful after everything we say. okay?
Chrissy- Okay
Mrs Roper- Now we'll let them have a free months rent
Chrissy- Thats wonderful
Jack- [hurts himself] Oww
CHrissy- Thats wonderful

063- The Loan Shark
Chrissy- I borrowed 300 dollars from Mr Bustamente
Jack- Any interest
Chrissy- The interest is only 25
Janet- 25 dollars!
Chrissy- Even less than dollars, 25 percent!

do u guys have any?

:crazy:


Here is one of my favorite quotes from Larry. Larry was doing CPR on a CPR dummy and terri said to him-"Look Larry you have to have rythm such as one one thousand,


Larry,: Okay Terri you want rythm I give you rythm, One Boogie Woogie, Two Boogie Woogie, Three Boogie Woogie-LOL LOL LOL-i love that so much.

Here are mine

Jack Moves Out
Chrissy-Janet i think your traps caught a boobie :lol:

The Kleptomaniac
Chrissy-Can't you just give thm an IOU?
Helen-Chrissy you can't give the UPS an IOU for a COD they'd call the FBI :lol:

Hearing is Believing
Janet-It says it right there Doreen McMillin The Rapist
Jack-That's Therapist.:lol:

Dont Know
Stanley-Well the car was overheated
Helen-So was i :lol:

"Roper's Car"
Janet: This is the answer to our prayers!
Chrissy: That's not true. Nobody prayed.
Janet: Then let's start. Please God, make Chrissy change her mind.
Jack: Or better yet, give her one!

"The New Landlord"
Jack: [About Chrissy] You just ruined that girl!
Ralph: I never touched her!

"Chrissy's Hospitality"
[Furley listens in as Jack & Chrissy are fixing the showercurtain in the bathroom]
Jack: OK Chrissy, I'll go in the tub with you so we can get it on.
Chrissy: Give that to me so I can show you what to do.
Jack: This isn't exactly the first time I've ever done this.
Chrissy: Maybe so, but girls are better then boys [at it].
Jack: Come on Chrissy, a little less talk and a little more action.
Chrissy: Okay, you do your part and I'll do mine [Looks at Showercurtain] I don't think it'll reach!
Jack: Of course not! You have to unfold it first!

"Chrissy's Hospitality"
Chrissy: My mother says its a good thing I wasn't born in June because then I'd be named after Father's Day, and when my dad introduced me he'd say meet my daughter father!

"The Love Barge"
Chrissy: [During Cointoss] Why does she get to pick?
Jack: Chrissy, it doesn't matter.
Chrissy: Yes it does! She gets two choices and I don't get any!
Jack: All these years, it seemed so far...

"Ralph's Rival" (I think)
Jack: The weather is sooo unpredictable!
Chrissy: Yeah, nice one day, nice the next...

"Larry Loves Janet"
Jack: What do you want me to do?
Chrissy: Just do what I do!
Jack: What are you going to do?
Chrissy: The same thing you'll be doing except I'll be doing it first!

"Larry Loves Janet"
Larry: I got you a corsage.
Janet: Oh good let's smoke it!

Here is another one..

Larry's Bride
Jack-To Happy Day's
Janet-Good Times
Chrissy-Little house on the prairie...

Somers Company

Janet- Chrissy.. Chrissy.. Chrissy
Chrissy- What
Janet- Did you hear something?
Chrissy- Yes
Janet- What did u hear
Chrissy- I heard you say Chrissy

That was from Jack Moves out..

i also like these

Chrissy: Our left just left

Chrissy: this is the only time time where we had some time

Janet: We'd thought we lost you [chrissys hospitality]
Chrissy: Where?

Goodbye Guy Ep77 Season 4

RF: Now Nancy will never like me... after the way ive acted like such a horses you know what

Chrissy: What

Nancy [girl RF likes] : Aww, I like a man [bla bla bla...] even if he was a horses you no what

---

This isnt really a quote but I LOVE it in the New Landlord when Jack comes in, hits Janet, who hits CHrissy who makes the dinner go out the window!

from the new landlord also
jack:
in romania we love to dance... its the country of romance.. grab ur partner and take a spin.. then sit rite down and have ur din

Here is a few from the second episode where Mr. Roper is holding the wires to the doorbell and Jack moves in!!!

Mr. Roper: Have you girls been playing around with the wires???
Janet: A girl's gotta have some fun!!!

Mrs. Roper: Well, Stanley, don't just stand there make the doorbell go ding-dong

Jack Rings The Doorbell:

Stanley: Yow-yow-yow-yow-yow
Jack to the Taxi Driver: Interesting Doorbell
Jack Rings Doorbell Again
Stanley:Yow-yow-yow-yow-yow
Taxi Driver: I didn't hear nothing,I don't see nothing,I don't know a thing

Stanley: Maybe you could ask your interior decorator here to fix the doorbell
Jack: I'm not an interior decreator
Stanley: I thought maybe you fellas were,you know,tinkerbells
Jack: Oh yeah,well,actually we're boxers
Stanley: You mean you actually you would hit another guy
Jack: Only if he makes us mad-- Jack cracking his knuckles---
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

kood u guys tell me some of the Chrissy Quotes in Season 5 when she had to phone in....

People told me that some of the FUNNIEST Chrissy lines are there!.. so pls help me

What do you think are good Three's Company quotes??


Chrissy: One more word and I'm going to stick this umbrella down your pants and open it!
Jack: Well, at least you'd be close

That one is hilarious! What episode is it from?

I have a lot of favorites, but one that sticks out right now is the one from "A Night Not to Remember", where Jack is messing around with Janet's grandmother's vase - I dont remember that exact wording, but Janet tells Jack to go to bed and that she won't let him see the vase because Jack is drunk and she knows that he'll break it, and then Jack goes

"I'M NOT GONNA GO TO BED UNLESS YOU LEMME SEE IIIIIIITTT!!"
really high-pitched, whiny voice! It makes me crack up every time!

those are good quotes. "a night not to remember" is one my favorite eps. but a quote that comes to mind is from a different episode. where jack and furley go to the therapist who teaches them to BARK. "RRuuufffFFF" "AARRrruuFFFF" lol, just seeing furley and jack's expression when their barking is hilarious.!!

Jack the Ripper is my favourite episode...

I love the quote from "Up in the Air" when Jack is dancing with Janet and the old lady, and he has his arms around both of their waists, then Janet slips away, then he yells "Work wit' me, Janet!" I LOVE THAT QUOTE! I also love the one from "A Catered Affair" where Mrs. Penrose asks Jack about the caviar. "Young man, young man, *takes stole and twirls it on Jack's butt* Yoo hoo. Where is the caviar? I cannot seem to find the caviar." Jack: "Well I didn't think we would need any...." Mrs. Penrose: "No caviar?! Do you realize that I have gone four days without caviar!?" Jack: "And you lived to tell about it?" LMAO! Another scene I like from ACA is when Mrs. Penrose walks in on Mr. Penrose and Chrissy. Mr. Penrose had his back facing the door when Mrs. Penrose came in and she called his name, I think it was Irving. When he heard her voice, he didn't even turn around. All he said was "Eloise...." in that dreadful type voice! ROTFLMAO And of course who can forget Laura's Greatest Hits from "A Camping We Will Go"...

"When your home's infested with
Ants and ****-a-roaches,
Just one zap of Bug Zap!
Will kiss them 'Buenos Noches'"

And my personal favorite...

"Lying in bed
While counting those sheep
Try new improved 'Shut Eye'
And you'll fall asleep......*sighs tirely*"

LAURA FOR LIFE

Originally posted by JT

"When your home's infested with
Ants and ****-a-roaches,
Just one zap of Bug Zap!
Will kiss them 'Buenos Noches'"




:rotflmao: I tried typing that too once and the same thing happened.

My friend and I would play the episode of "A Night Not to Remember" over and over because we loved it, so we memorized a lot of parts from it. I love when Mr. Furley makes that big speech to Jack and Larry because he thinks, well, you know lol:

"Now hear this! I'm an easy going guy. Live and let live I always say. What's good for the goose, is nobody else's business but the gander's. But sometimes you gotta draw the line. Call 'em as you see 'em. Stand up and be counted! The buck stops here! Is that clear?!?! Now this wasn't easy for me to say, but you two had it comin'."

I would say that over and over and drove everyone crazy lol. :lol:

Jack Moves Out
Jack-...and Janet I will never ask you to take down your pantyhose again

An Anniversary Surprise
Mr. Roper-They think that you and I are having an affaire
Mrs. Dottson- UH people PLEASE I am into realstate NOT recycling


:D

Originally posted by Unwanted Angel
Here is another one..

Larry's Bride
Jack-To Happy Day's
Janet-Good Times
Chrissy-Little house on the prairie...

LOLOLOL :lol: :lol:

Chrissy - When I was your age I was 13 too!

Chrissy - Eat your salad b4 it gets cold.

Talk to me eggy weggy.

Originally posted by WeMissTripper
Talk to me eggy weggy. where was this quote from?

I think the funniest quote is when Roper comes over for dinner and Janet drops the turkey and then theyre pretending they're romanian and jack sings:

jack:
in romania we love to dance... its the country of romance.. grab ur partner and take a spin.. then sit rite down and have ur din

My favorite quote... I don't remember the episode it's from though...

Jack on phone with the police: Help! Somebody stole my roommate, my landlord, and my neighbor!

At least that's what I think he said. Any help would be appreciated if I got it wrong.

not really a direct quote, but i thought it was hilarious when Chrissy in "Roper's Neice" thought Janet wasnt supposed to know it was her bday

Originally posted by SomersCompany3
where was this quote from?

The episode where Jack is dolled up as Grandma Tripper and is talking to his ingredients. Another one is where he warns a fellow contestant he will be making Lady Fingers if she messes with him (her) again.

Or am I dreaming all this up?

Terri in lasty night's episode, "Starstruck"

Terri- You know television is getting better all the time!

This is from the episode when Jack, Janet and Terri are moving into that other house. This is right after Jack drops the box of stuff on the floor ^.^


Larry: Are you guys busy?
Janet: Yeah, Jack made a mess on the floor.
Larry: *looks at her blankly for a moment*...i had a poodle like that

i don't know if it has already been said or not but what is that quote that mrs. roper says to chrissy about an IOU. she says IOU, FBI, CIA and something else in one sentence, i think. anyone know how it went? i think it's funny...thanks.

nevermind. i found it. it was on page1. duh. i am dumb :crazy:

Hey! Can you guys give me some of your favorite Threes Company Quotes? Because I`d like to change my signature and I need the right quote! Thanks! :D

Furley:I didn't even know she was there

Mrs.Roper:He's a lot like Stanley

Jack: Boy she's really something in that nightie, I mean everywhere you look she's a girl.

Janet: And what am I, a gorilla?

Jack: No, your very........smart!

Janet: Oh, more like a chimp?

Jack: No, your very cute;)

Mr. Roper: You are not living with 2 girls!

Jack: It'll be strictly platonic.

Mr. Roper: What does that mean?

Mrs. Roper: Like you & me Stanley. :lol:

Jack: You know what your problem is?
Chrissy: What?
Jack: You're a compulsive eater.
Chrissy: I am not! I'm just always hungry!

:rofl: :lol:

Chrissy(on the phone with Mr. Roper):Be sure to get rid of Mrs. Roper. We don't want to surprise her with the surprise about the surprise party before it's time to surprise her. :lol:

Jack: What kind of an idiot would take a girl on a grunion run if he wanted to make it with her?

Larry: Hey Jack, I don't call you names.
:lol:

Janet: Please make Chrissy change her mind.

Jack: Or better yet, give her one.

Thanks for the quotes! I love this one :
Mr. Roper : These wires are loose , I want to get to the bottom of this , have you been playing with these wires?
Janet : ( puts her arms over her chest ) A girls gotta have some fun! :lol:

Heres one from Mate For Each Other :

Janet : Oh Jack how small! ( about lying on his questionaire )
Jack : Oh yeah ? So you`re really 5 foot 7 ?
Janet : With heels!
Jack: And your measurements are ..
Janet : ( interrupts ) YES THEY ARE!
:lol:

Originally posted by Trippergrl
Thanks for the quotes! I love this one :
Mr. Roper : These wires are loose , I want to get to the bottom of this , have you been playing with these wires?
Janet : ( puts her arms over her chest ) A girls gotta have some fun! :lol:

:D!! I love this quote! It's so funny!:D

:wave:

Originally posted by Trippergrl
Heres one from Mate For Each Other :

Janet : Oh Jack how small! ( about lying on his questionaire )
Jack : Oh yeah ? So you`re really 5 foot 7 ?
Janet : With heels!
Jack: And your measurements are ..
Janet : ( interrupts ) YES THEY ARE!
:lol:

I think this one is super funny too! This epi ROCKS!!!!!!:D!!

:wave:

I love this RF quote:

"Hey good looking!;) What's cooking?":D

:wave:

Chrissy: What's she got that you haven't?

Janet: (Spreads her fingers in front of her chest to indicate big breasts.)

Chrissy: Arthritis?

Jack: Stop exaggerating, Janet. You're making mountains out of mole-hills.

That episode where Janet's coworker has the great body was funny! I love the Roper lines the best:

Stanley: (annoyed at Helen) Helen, one of these days you're gonna make me come after you!
Helen:......God knows I try. :lol: :lol: :lol:

or this one:

Stanley: (when Stanley is invited to the trio's for dinner) Why would they want to invite me?
Helen: They want your company!
Stanley: Why would anybody want MY company?
Helen: I've been asking myself that for years. :lol:

Originally posted by DawgHawk
That episode where Janet's coworker has the great body was funny! I love the Roper lines the best:

Stanley: (annoyed at Helen) Helen, one of these days you're gonna make me come after you!
Helen:......God knows I try. :lol: :lol: :lol:

or this one:

Stanley: (when Stanley is invited to the trio's for dinner) Why would they want to invite me?
Helen: They want your company!
Stanley: Why would anybody want MY company?
Helen: I've been asking myself that for years. :lol:

Lol! Thanks! I love Roper quotes!

Originally posted by Trippergrl
Lol! Thanks! I love Roper quotes!
Then you're going to love this one:

Ep. #28 "Days of Beer and Weeds"
Mrs. Roper: [about to drink Mr. Roper's homemade beer he's made] Okay, Stanley, let's see what's going to put Budweiser out of business.

:D :lol: :eek:

I always crack up at this one everytime becuase Mrs. Roper's face is so serious when she says i!!! :crazy: :lol:

Originally posted by swedeace
Then you're going to love this one:

Ep. #28 "Days of Beer and Weeds"
Mrs. Roper: [about to drink Mr. Roper's homemade beer he's made] Okay, Stanley, let's see what's going to put Budweiser out of business.

:D :lol: :eek:

I always crack up at this one everytime becuase Mrs. Roper's face is so serious when she says i!!! :crazy: :lol:

Lol! I love that quote! I`m gonna put it in my signature! :)

if anyone could post really funny quotes from TC it would be appreciated.

when i mean funny, i mean "pee in ur pants funny"

thanx

Jack Looks For A Job
Mr.Roper:Why can't you ever say "this time he gonna do it"

Mrs.Roper:Oh I say that a lot

"Bird Song"
[Janet has two tickets to a Frank Sinatra concert, but she doesn't want to go.]
JANET: I prefer Stevie Wonder myself...besides, I was gonna wash my hair tonight.
CHRISSY: INSTEAD OF FRANK SINATRA?
JANET: Let him wash his own hair!

Jack's Navy Pal

Jack: We'll invite him up, and treat him like he's one of the family.

Chrissy:Yeah! A member of your family can't raise the rent, that'd be like uhh.. insest!

Home Movies
Mr.Roper:One day you're going to make me come after you

Mrs.Roper:God knows I tried

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1784738

Stanley (to Jack): "What are you doing?" Jack: "I'm loosening up my wrist." Stanley: "I didn't know you guys had to practice."

just a thread to post quotes from the show--just make sure you attribute who said the quote. Quotes don't have to EXACTLY word for word--just a general paraphrase will do too.

Janet--"I told him you were a hard working decent young man"
Jack--"And that did it?"
Janet--"Not quite......I also told him you were gay!" :lol:

Next?

Two quotes I have memorized :lol:

Chrissy: If you don't know then nobody knows but I know you know and you should know better!

Mr. Furley: Now hear this! I'm an easy going guy. Live and let live I always say. What's good for the goose is nobody else's business but the gander's. But sometimes you gotta draw the line. Call 'em as you see 'em! Stand up and be counted! The buck stops here! Is that clear?! Now, this wasn't easy for me to say...but you two had it coming!

I love these two Furley quotes (for obvious reasons)

Furley "You called me up in the middle of The Brady Bunchto fix this??"

Furley "You can't follow The Brady Bunch if you miss the beginning. It ruins the flow!" :lol:

Chrissy: It's a burglar!
Janet: Yeah he came to steal the bathtub and he fell asleep on the job.

Janet" Larry you never wanted to get married so you can have a nice home cooked me?

Larry-"I never been that Hungry"


LOL



Terri-"The Magazine belongs to Alice Green"

Larry-"You wou;dn't happen to have Alice's Number would you?

Terri-"She's 84"

Larry-"what she look like?"




LOL

Jack--"We'll have two white wines...."
Chrissy--"And a tuna fish sandwich"
Jack--"We'll have two white wines and a tuna fish sandwich!"

Chrissy--"It was a good thing I wasn't born on Father's Day, other wise my dad would have introduced me as meet my daughter, Father" :lol:

Jack, toasting Larry on his impending nuptials (don't remember if its season 2 or 3):

Jack: To happy days
Janet: good times
Chrissy: Little House on the Prairie.

:lol:

Jack: I'm not gonna go to bed unless you let me see ittttt! :rofl:

Jack: "Terri, what am I going to do with you?"
Terri: "Anything you want to!"

From the mustache episode.

Janet:"You know what you are, Jack? A male chauvinst....."
Jack: "Don't say it!"
Janet: "Oink.......oink, oink, oink!"

Mrs. Roper: "'Not Tonight'...(long pause)...That's a perfect title for my autobiography."


Jack (to Janet): "You know your problem; if I had any coin I'd go to a hotel, but I just don't have twenty dollars to throw away. I'm going back."
Waitress (to Jack): "Coming up." Jack: "You can say that again."

Mrs Roper "I knew it!....you're not gay!"

Mrs Roper "Oh for pete's sake, Stanley! Jack made it...it's a gourmet dish"

Chrissy "What happened to Roper's car?"
Jack "It overheated on the freeway"
Janet "And Roper's niece?"
Jack "in the Ropers' living room" :lol:

Chrissy:"I don't think it'll reach"
Jack: "Of course not, you have to unfold it first"

Mr Furley: "Rub a dub dub, come hop in my tub"

Janet: "Jack, you're in bigger trouble than you think"
Jack: "I am?"
Janet: "You're in love"

Chrissy :"you know, Jack, sometimes you say really dumb things!" :lol:

Janet: "Look, it says right here on her business card what she is....Darlene, THE RAPIST!" :lol:

Janet: If you don't want us to go on your date with Agnes why don't you just say so.

Jack : I really want you to stay away.

Janet: Not a chance!

Denise (Jack's pretentious fiancee) : "Love your jeans!"

Janet (to Jack's new loud look): "You look like a dish of spumoni!"

Jack : What about my cake.
Chrissy: I'll help you.
Janet: No chickens love working with eggs. :)

Jack: Don't say one more word.
Chrissy: Do you mind if we sing.
Jack: Anything just don't talk.
Chrissy and Janet: singing "Amazing Grace how sweet the sound".

Jack (to Chrissy): "Tell Janet that there's a perfectly good reason why I was in bed with Jenny."
Chrissy: "You want me to tell her that?"
Jack: "Tell her I wandered into my bedroom through force of habit"
Chrissy: "Oh" (Knocks on door) "Janet?"
Janet (Opening the door): "Yes, Chrissy?"
Chrissy: "There's a perfectly good reason why Jack was in bed with your sister."
Janet: "Oh, really?"
Chrissy: "Yeah, it was just a force of habit."

Terri: Jack was in a car accident.
Janet: He doesn't have a car.
Terri: Neither do you.

Chrissy: Common sense. It's like if a mama bird has only one baby bird and two worms, she's not gonna go out and get another baby bird, is she?

Larry (to Jack) : If you think it's so easy being you, you oughtta try it sometime!

From the 8th season episode "Alias Jack Tripper"

Chrissy: "You know if you knew what Jack was going to be doing, you wouldn't be doing what you just did."

Mr. Furley: "Women...absolutely no sense of humor."

"Where do all these stupid people come from, anyway?" - Mr. Roper

what did the mayonnaise say to the lettuce?
turn around, can't you see i'm dressing!

I totally forgot I started this thread....lol

Mr. Roper--okay, what about these loose wires? These wires just don't get loose on their own!
Janet--Girl's gotta have some fun.
Mrs Roper--okay, you got your confession, now make the bell go ding-dong!

Bart Furley: "Can it, Topper!"

Jack: "That's Tripper."

Mr. Roper - "I bet this cot could tell some great stories."

Mrs. Roper - "I wish ours could."

Cindy - "If my man was cheating on me I'd break every bone in his body."

Jack - "You'll do that on your wedding night."

Jack (to Chrissy): "Tell Janet that there's a perfectly good reason why I was in bed with Jenny."
Chrissy: "You want me to tell her that?"
Jack: "Tell her I wandered into my bedroom through force of habit"
Chrissy: "Oh" (Knocks on door) "Janet?"
Janet (Opening the door): "Yes, Chrissy?"
Chrissy: "There's a perfectly good reason why Jack was in bed with your sister."
Janet: "Oh, really?"
Chrissy: "Yeah, it was just a force of habit."
Reading that one just makes me :lol:

Larry - "Hey buddy I thought I'd take you out to the movies is there anything you wanna see?"
Jack - "A nun is in love with me"
Larry - "Sounds kinky where's it playing?"

A Mr. Furley Quote:

From "The Party's Over," when Mrs. Roper leaves Stanley...

Jack: When is she coming back?
Janet: When pigs grow wings.
Chrissy: That could take weeks.

Chrissy: "Jack, I have a two-part question. Why?"
Jack: "How is that a two-part question?"
Chrissy: (looking at Janet) "Because we both want to know!"

"Everything Stanley's got is hard to start."

Chrissy: "Just do what I do."
Jack: "And what will you be doing?"
Chrissy: "Duh! The same thing you're doing, only first."

Chrissy: "Just do what I do."
Jack: "And what will you be doing?"
Chrissy: "Duh! The same thing you're doing, only first."
What episode was that from? They said "duh" back in the late 70s/early 80s?

What episode was that from? They said "duh" back in the late 70s/early 80s?

It was from "Larry Loves Janet" I think.

It was from "Larry Loves Janet" I think.
Just watched that one. Funny episode, but Chrissy definitely didn't say "duh". Would have been funnier if she did.

Cindy: "Red or white?"

Jack: "How about black or blue?"

Three's Company quotes

Jack, Janet and Chrissy are all sitting in the kitchen and they're questioning Jack about seeing him out with Lana in her first episode.

Chrissy: "Jack, I have a 2 part question....Why?"
Jack: "How is that a 2 part question?"
Chrissy (dumbfounded): "We both wanna know!" (referring to herself and Janet)

Mrs. Roper - "I know, I'll get a job. That's what I'll do."
Mr. Roper - "What? You get a job? What can you do?"
Mrs. Roper - "I can do lots of things. I worked before.When I was a girl I used to work at the post office"
Mr. Roper - "Well times have changed since the Pony Express."

Chrissy arguing with her father.

Rev Snow: Chrissy, I want to talk to you!
Chrissy: No.
Rev Snow: Why not?
Chrissy: Well, i'm afraid you'll be right. You're always right about eveything.
Rev Snow: Well, I'm wrong this time.
Chrissy: See, you're right again!

In the Dying to Meet you Episode I laugh when the jealous boyfriend is at the Reagle Beagle with his girlfriend and the bartender is gawking at her. He grabs the bartender and says:

"You keep starting at her and the next girl you're gonna be looking at will be a nurse."

hahaha
_________________

Also, later in the same episode when the guy wants to beat up Jack he says:

Jack: I should warn you! I know Karate!
Jack then starts mimicking some Karate moves. In response, the guy karate chops the chair that's there bursting all of the wood slats with one powerful strike.

Jack looks scared and says "I'm not up to that yet"

(Stanley talking to Helen)

Mr. Roper - "You know it's a shame you don't live in India. You'd be sacred there."

Jack: (to Cindy) "They're driving me crazy!"
Cindy: "At least it won't be a long trip."

Jack: "I almost burned my clusters."
Terri: "Well that's what you get for standing too close to the stove."

Mrs. Roper: I need a new stove.

Stanley Roper: There's nothing wrong with the stove you have, it works just fine.

Mrs. Roper: Well, I better not break up the set.

Stanley Roper: What set?

Mrs. Roper: An old stove, and old husband, and they both take too long to heat up!

Cindy: "That Larry sure has a quick mind."
Janet: "Not as quick as his hands."

Jack: "It's people like her that give mothers a bad name."

Cindy: "You mean it'll be that bad?"
Janet: "That dull. Larry is the Lawrence Welk of storytellers."

Helen: "You'll never get that bird to talk."
Stanley: "He's got a lazy beak."
Helen: "He came to the right house..."

Stanley: "In my head."
Helen: "It must be lonely in there."

Stanley: "I don't have the right equipment."
Helen: "You're tellin' me."

Terri: I just felt sorry for you!

Jack Tripper: Sorry for me? Why would anybody feel sorry for me?

Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, lots of reasons.

Larry: I just wanted to know if you wanted to spend an evening with a beautiful, young lady.
Jack Tripper: No thanks, pal. I'd rather spend an evening with Janet.

Mr. Roper: "I came up to shampoo your rug."
Chrissy: "Why? Does it have dandruff?"

Chrissy: The May Company is having a huge sale on pantyhose. Jack Tripper: Excuse me, Chrissy, that's not exactly a current event. Chrissy: It is so, it's going on right now.

Cindy: "You're not an awful liar, Jack."
Jack: "Thank you, Cindy."
Cindy: "You're just about the best darn liar I ever met."

Furley: Come in and get your giggle water!

Patricia Crawford: He touched my bosom!

Jack: " You know what your problem is, Teri, you don't understand women".

Jack: "You don't know what it's like here, Larry. You've never lived with two girls."
Larry: "Don't rub it in."

Stanley Roper: I don't want to be happy; I want to be with you.

Jack: (to Larry) "There's no reason why you can't be as honest as I."
Larry: "What are you, crazy? I'm a used car salesman."

Chrissy: "Just do what I do."
Jack: "And what will you be doing?"
Chrissy: "Duh! The same thing you're doing, only first."

A couple from the episode that introduces Mr. Angelino and Felipe, where Jack pretends to be a famous chef (who turns out to be a low-life):

(after Jack gets thrown around by the sister of a girl the chef was fooling around with)
Jack: Felipe, why didn't you help?
Felipe: She didn't need no help!

Guy who tried to kill the chef: I'm going home to feed my bird ... to my cat.

Chrissy: You know Jack did the right thing. Fighting is uncivilized. You know if women ran the world there'd be none of these stupid wars.

Mr. Roper: Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death.

Jack: "Aren't they a little stale by now?"

Janet: (to Jack)"You made out with that blonde in your pastry class?"

Jack: "Chrissy, the day you stop disturbin' me is the day I run and see my doctor."

Dean Travers: "I'd love to get my hands on that."

Janet: "... all those pies look alike to me."

Mr. Hoffmeier: "Chefs? Cookie cutters."

Dean Travers: "You having a little trouble with your harem, Jack?"

Jack: Is something burning?

Janet: Oh NO! I left my underwear in the oven.

Chrissy: Too bad hot pants are not in style.

Jack: (entering bathroom)"Hi honeys I'm home."
Janet: "Why didn't you knock first?"
Chrissy: "Yeah."
Jack: "Why?"
Chrissy: "Because we might not have been decent."
Jack: "It's all right, I looked first to make sure."
Chrissy: "Well, that's okay then."

Jack: (to Chrissy): "How many fingers do you see?"
Chrissy: "Five."
Jack and Janet: (together)"Fiiiive?"
Chrissy: "Two in a 'v' and three folded down."

Chrissy: "Boy... When my head's not right, you people sure get into a lot of trouble."

Cindy: If my man was cheating on me I'd break every bone in his body!

Jack: You'll do that on your wedding night.

Chrissy: (to Jack)"...Christmas is supposed to be a festive season and all you can think about is enjoying yourself."

Mrs. Roper: "Oh no just put him under the tree. I'll unwrap him in the morning."

Jack: "Why did she call me a rat?"
Janet: "Because you're a pig!"

Mr. Roper: I came up to shampoo the rug.

Chrissy: Why? Does it have dandruff?

Janet:

Mr. Roper: (to Jack)"What are you doing?"
Jack: "I'm loosening my wrist."
Mr. Roper: "I didn't know you guys had to practice."

Chrissy: (to Janet)"What's she got that you haven't?"
(Janet spreads her fingers in front of her chest to indicate big breasts.)
Chrissy: "Arthritis?"
Jack: "Stop exaggerating, Janet. You're making mountains out of molehills."

Chrissy: "That's not true. Nobody prayed."
Janet: "Okay, then let's start. Please, God, make Chrissy change her mind."
Jack: "Or better yet, give her one!"

Chrissy: "When I was your age, I was 14 too."

Mr. Furley: "This is a respectable building. NO ROMAN ORGIES!"

Chrissy: You know Jack did the right thing. Fighting is uncivilized. You know if women ran the world there'd be none of these stupid wars.

Mr. Roper: Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death.

Chrissy: Just do what I do.

Jack: And what will you be doing?

Chrissy: Duh! The same thing you're doing, only first.

Jack: I have a surprise for you girls!

Chrissy: Oh, I love surprises. It's funny that you never suspect them!

Larry: "Speaking of cooking, I'd better get back to Babette."

Jack: "I guess I'll have my little bistro after all."

Mr. Furley: "Look, how hard can it really be to come up with a name for Jack's bistro?"

Captain:
A cocktail before you dine?

Janet Wood Dawson:
Oh, thank you!

[looks at menu and is stunned at the prices]

Janet Wood Dawson:
I believe I'll have some water.

Chrissy:
[eyes bugging out at the menu prices] Me, too.

Captain:
Of course. Would you care for the imported Rumanian, the Mountain Clear or the Gillian Sparkling?

Chrissy:
I'd like Santa Monica tap!

Chrissy: "I wouldn't know an orgy if I stepped over one!"

Chrissy's mother: "Try not to do that, dear."

Chrissy: "You should never make fun of things you don't understand, until you understand them, and even then you shouldn't make fun of them because you DON'T understand! Understand?

Chrissy: "It's fine if they see me naked, because I don't know them, and they don't know me, and I don't know who's seeing me, and they don't know who they're seeing. But I KNOW you, and you know me, and I know who you'll be seeing and you know who you'll be seeing and both of them are me. See?

Jack: "No, I don't see, Chrissy."

Chrissy: "And you're not going to!"

Phil & Terri:

s05e07 - Chrissy's Cousin



Mrs. Medford: "Poor Charlie, it was his heart. He went like that (snap fingers), during the night.

Mr Furley: "And it killed him?




LOL


https://media.giphy.com/media/Pxsg7aQfApaNBAC59r/giphy.gif

s05e16 - Teacher's Pet



Janet: "Jack, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

Jack: "Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes??!!"




https://media.giphy.com/media/Irbngtqo8STWEKRHrP/giphy.gif

Jack:

Stanley Roper:
I came up to shampoo your rug.

Chrissy:
Why? Does it have dandruff?

Janet: "...we cannot afford Cindy."
Terri: "Why? It's only ten bucks apiece."
Janet: "That's not what I meant."
(Crashing sounds are heard.)
Janet: "That's what I meant."

(Last line of the series.)
James Bradford: (to Jack)"Say 'hello' to your new landlord."

Jack: (to Larry)"How would you like to be awakened in the middle of the night by these two?"
Larry: "You pick the night."

Mrs. Roper: "Oh, it was thrilling."
Mr. Roper: "Thrilling?"
Mrs. Roper: "Yeah, it was the first time our bed moved in years."

Mr. Roper: "You know, it's a shame you don't live in India. You'd be sacred there."

Jack: "The proof will be in the eating."

Janet: "There wasn't any foul language."
Mrs. Roper: "You weren't down here with Mr. Roper."

Mrs. Roper: "He thinks Queen Victoria was a swinger."

Jack: "I'm hoping to open up a littler restaurant, for people who can appreciate high prices."

Janet: "He's very good looking."

Mr. Roper: "What's that mean?"
Mrs. Roper: "Like you and me, Stanley."

Mrs. Roper: I need a new stove

Mr. Roper: There's nothing wrong with the stove you have.

Mrs. Roper: I better not break up the set.

Mr. Roper: What set?

Mrs. Roper: An old stove, and old husband, and they both take too long to heat up.

Larry: I just wanted to know if you wanted to spend an evening with a beautiful, young lady.

Jack: No thanks, pal. I'd rather spend an evening with Janet.

Norman Fell) "I want my rent."
(Audra Lindley) "Stanley, where are your manners? You're supposed to say hello when you walk into a room."
(Norman Fell) "Hello, I want my rent."

Chrissy: I asked Jack to help me make the bed and we couldn't get the sheets on the mattress. I'd pull my corner and his would fall off and he'd pull his corner and mine would fall off. [as Mr. Roper enters] We made a complete shambles of the bedroom!

(The doorbell rings.)
Jack: "If that is someone of the female persuasion, tell her I'm not interested."

Terri & Janet:

Mr. Roper: I bet this cot told some great stories.

Mrs. Roper: I wish ours could.

Chrissy: "You're right, I don't need the nightgown."

Janet: "How does it work?"
Mrs. Roper: "I don't know. It's never been used."

Chrissy: "...you just press a button and it goes to work right away."
Mrs. Roper: "Yeahh. I wish Stanley had a button like that."

"The place I got a pain you don't see a dentist." - Mrs. Roper

Jack:
"Here's to Jack,
And here's to Chrissy.
Let's get started with
A little kissy."

Stanley Roper:
I bet this cot told some great stories.

Mrs. Roper:
I wish ours could.

Janet: "He ought to be deported."

Mrs. Roper: "Is that why the bottles keep exploding?"

Chrissy: "I like beer I can see through."

Jack: "Thanks for the suds."

Louise Prescott:
I'll say this for you, you've got nerve.

Jack Tripper:
Asking you for a loan?

Louise Prescott:
Asking me for a date. I'm sorry, Mr. Tripper, but, you see, this bank can not give money to someone who can't pay it back.

Jack Tripper:
Well, I think that's pretty selfish of you.

Janet: "...I would never, never, never stoop that low!"
Terri: "You don't have to stoop, Shorty."
Janet: "'Shorty'? Well, I've never been so insulted."

Jack: "Oh, come on, you can be bigger than her."
Terri: "I am."
Janet: "She did it agai -- "

Jack: "Relax; the master is here."

Larry: "I'll have your bell ringing in no time."

Terri: "Just like the Galloping Gourmet."
Mr. Furley: "Don't you mean the Gay Gourmet?"
(Jack hisses at Furley.)

Jack: "Did someone spike his prune juice, or what?"

Jack: (to Felipe)"Why didn't you help?!!"
Felipe: "You didn't need no help."

Man: "I think I'll go home and feed my wife's bird. To my cat."

Jack: "That was the scary question."

Janet: "Greed is the answer."
Terri: "What's the question?"

Chrissy:

Chrissy Snow: You know, if women ran the world, there'd be none of these stupid wars.

Stanley: "What's the cake for?"
Helen: "We're celebrating."
Stanley: "Celebrating what?"
Helen: "The tenth anniversary of my new spring outfit."

Helen Roper:
I know. I'll get a job that's what I'll do.

Stanley Roper:
What? You get a job? What can you do?

Helen Roper:
I can do lots of things. I worked before. When I was a girl I used to work for the post office.

Stanley Roper:
Well, times have changed since the Pony Express.

Open up its RF!

:lol:

Mrs. Wood: (to Jack)"And you. You must be Janet's husband."
Jack: "That's what Janet told me."

Larry: "Friday is wet T-shirt night at the Rusty Anchor."

Larry: "Janet I didn't know your parents were so liberal."

Mr. Furley: "Boy, talk about your fairy tales."

Jack: "And now, for the dessert."

Mr. Wood: "Janet, pack your bags, you're coming home with us."

Jack:

Jack: "I just hope she can control herself."

Samantha: "I'll just bet."

Jack: "Good bye, Lolita."

Jack: "I'll get the door; just don't hurt me anymore."

Jack: "I'm getting a lot of doors."

Gretchen: (to Jack)""I'm sorry I'm late."
Jack: "Better late than never."

Gretchen: "Why don't we, uh, go back to my place?"
Jack: "I never thought you'd ask."

Chrissy: "I just start moving and everything falls into place!"
Jack: "That's so true."

Chrissy: "Do I have to do all the thinking around here?"

Chrissy: (to Mr. Roper)"Eat your salad before it gets cold."

(First line of the series.)
Janet: (hungover)"Please, have a little respect for the dying."

"Eat your salad before it gets cold." - Chrissy

Cindy: "Oh, Janet, that dance is dead. It went out with ankle bracelets."

(Cindy and Janet are doing the pogo dance.)
Janet: (to Cindy)"Do you call this fun?"
Jack: "I sure do."

Janet: "Mr. Furley, is it snowing outside?"
Mr. Furley: "Nooo."
Janet: "Then what have you got all over you?"
Mr. Furley: "My ceiling!"

Mr. Furley: "I don't trust doctors. They stick in their needle and take out your money."

Janet: "With the apartment looking limited this?"
Jack: "The Lakers won't mind."
Cindy: "Why don't you guys just get a cleaning lady?"
Jack: (sarcastic)"Oh, yeah. We were gonna do that, right after we bought a Rolls-Royce."

Cindy: "Come on, Jack, that's what friends are for. If you can't borrow money from them, who can you borrow it from?"

Cindy: "I got your new maid."
Jack: "Who?"
Cindy: "Me!"

Jack: "Good help is so hard to find these days."

Larry: "Why didn't I think of that?"

Janet: "My bank offered me a clock radio if I take my account somewhere else."

Jack: "I heard. Find him, and kill him."

Janet: (to Max)"His heart stopped in the middle of the night."
Cindy: "God forgot to wind it."

Jack: "What am I, Jack in the box?"

Cindy: "It was his heart."
Max: "God forgot to wind it."

Jack: "Larry, you know, I never knew your family was Greek."
Larry: "Yeah. That's how I got to be Greek."
Terri: "But your last name is 'Dallas'!"
Larry: "That's short for 'Dalliopoulis'."
Janet: "Larry, that's a neat name. Why'd you change it?"
Larry: "I could never spell it."

Jack: I have a surprise for you girls!

Chrissy: Oh, I love surprises. It's funny that you never suspect them!

OH CHRISSY, I'M SO
GLAD I CAUGHT YOU HOME.

YOU'RE LUCKY. IN A MINUTE YOU
WOULD HAVE CAUGHT ME DOWNTOWN.

Helen: "They look like rows of coffins."

Helen: "I want to move into a nice neighborhood, and make friends with nice people."

Jeffrey: (to David)"Don't bruise the grass."

Helen: "It's so important to have the right neighbors."

Jeffrey: (to Anne)"But we really don't want his type living next door, do we?"

Stanley: "What's the point if it's sold?"

Jeffrey: "I am not a snob. Ask anyone. Anyone who matters."

Anne: (to Jeffrey)"Well, it looks like we've got our new neighbors."
Jeffrey: "I'm afraid it does."

Mr. Furley: "I think the drain is clear, my head is clogged."

Dean Travers: "What's the matter, Tripper? Two at home not enough for ya?"

Jack: (to Sheila)"If you play your cards right, you can have the whole body."

JacK: "I just failed my final exam."

Jack: "You don't understand. I'm not comin' back. I'm movin' out."

Ben: (to Chrissy)"Why does a doll like you need a blind date?"

Chrissy: "...I'll use my own brains."
Jack: "I'm dead."

Jack: "Oh, Ben? Looks like you can't cook in the living room, either."

Jack Tripper: It's time to toast the bride and groom. To Gloria and Larry, happy days!
Janet Wood Dawson: Good times!
Chrissy: Little House on the Prairie!

Mr. Roper: "I can't sleep with all that racket."

Mrs. Roper: "Look at who I'm talking to about natural urges."

Chrissy: (to Jack and Janet)"...and I really resent the two of you praying mother and father and treating me like a child."
(Chrissy goes into the kitchen.)
Jack: "Well, that's gratitude for you."

Chrissy: "And they do that for white people, too, you know. "

Chrissy: "And they said that our ancestors were Scottish, so..."

Jack: (to Chrissy)"You shouldn't go there; people think you're a hooker."

Jack: (to Chrissy)"Somebody took you for a hooker?"

Cop: "I'm on the vice squad."
Mrs. Roper: "Oh, boy, are you in the wrong apartment."
"

Janet: (to Jack)"And don't think we don't know about the girl in the kitchen."

Larry: "I don't want anything to happen to my best friend. He owes me fifty bucks."

Chrissy: "Well, Mrs. Roper, see, the world is made up of two kinds of people, twos and ones. Sometimes two ones become a two, and other times one of the ones of the two gets tired of being a two and wants to become a one again, not that the other one of the two isn't a nice one, it's just that two ones can't be a two without the one. See?"

It’s open Larry!

:lol:

Jack Tripper: "Do you girls know anything about marriage?"