GoldenFamilyTies
01-19-2003, 10:10 PM
THE ONE WITH PHOEBE’S SECRET ADMIRER
[Scene: Phoebe’s apartment. Joey is talking to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Joey, do I have any important mail?
Joey: Just some bills.
Phoebe: Oh you can just throw those away, I don’t like them.
Joey: But don’t you have to pay them?
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I always forget that! Just put them on the coffee table.
Joey: Oh wait, there’s something else here… It looks like a card.
Phoebe: Let me open it!
(Phoebe opens the letter)
Joey: What does it say?
Phoebe: This person wants me to meet them.
Joey: Anything else?
Phoebe: It says to check outside my door.
Joey: So go check!
Phoebe: Okay… this is creeping me out though!
(Phoebe opens her front door, and there are a dozen roses sitting outside)
Phoebe: Oh my!! Roses!!
Joey: It looks like you have a secret admirer!
Phoebe: How exciting! I’ve never had one of these before! Woo hoo!
Joey: So are you going to meet him?
Phoebe: I haven’t decided.
Joey: But I thought you were excited!
Phoebe: Nah… not really anymore. This is a little too creepy. This could be a plot to murder me!
Joey: I don’t think it is.
Phoebe: How would you know?
Joey: Well… uhh… I don’t.
[Scene: Chandler & Monica’s Apartment. Chandler, Mon, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: So Rachel… are you going to be coming over everyday for breakfast?
Rachel: Monica, like I told you, I’m almost out of money!
Chandler: I thought you had a good job?
Rachel: It is good… but it pays fifty thousand less than I need.
Monica: Fifty thousand less than you need?!
Chandler: Uhh Rachel… what have you been buying?
Rachel: Just some things I need.
Monica: Such as…?
Rachel: Well, y’know… a new car… a new fridge… a big-screen TV…
Monica: You can’t afford that!
Rachel: I think I’m doing alright.
Monica: You are eating here every meal!
Rachel: Because I am your friend, I enjoy your company.
Chandler: More like, you enjoy our money.
(Rachel glares at Chandler)
Rachel: Fine then, if you guys don’t want me here, I’ll eat at Joey’s.
Monica: Joey’s cooking compared to mine? HA!
Rachel: But I thought you didn’t want me to keep eating here?
Monica: Well… I guess I looove it when people enjoy me food!
Chandler: She also enjoys it when I…
Monica: Chandler! Stop talking!
(Phoebe runs into the apartment)
Phoebe: Guys!! Guess what?
Chandler: You won the Publisher’s Clearinghouse ten million dollar sweepstakes?!
Phoebe: No… but that would be nicer than this!
Rachel: What is it Pheebs?
Phoebe: I have a secret admirer!
Rachel: Sounds exciting!
Monica: How cool!
Chandler: You ran through the door to tell us THAT?!
Rachel: Having a secret admirer is a very big deal Chandler!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Monica: Knowing someone loves you from a distance… oh how great that would be…
Chandler: Ummm…. Hello? This is your husband speaking!
Phoebe: Anyways… I’m supposed meet them at Central Perk tonight at eight!
Rachel: Phoebe we are going to make you so pretty for your date!
Phoebe: No, no! It’s not a date, it’s a meeting of me and my secret admirer!
Rachel: Okay then…
[Scene: Ross & Rachel’s Apartment. Joey is talking to Ross.]
Ross: Wait, let me get this straight. You sent Phoebe a dozen flowers?!
Joey: And a note that says to meet me at Central Perk.
Ross: You like Phoebe?
Joey: You never knew? I thought I told you!
Ross: Uh no you didn’t!
Joey: Oh yeah, I guess that was Chandler.
Ross: You told Chandler and you didn’t tell me?
Joey: Look! I don’t know what I’m gonna say, and I need your help!
Ross: Okay… let’s see… how about telling her that you’ve liked her from a distance for so long now, that you finally wanted to surprise her?
Joey: Very good Ross! I knew I came to the right person. Got to go, bye!
(Joey walks out of the apartment)
Ross: Wait! I had a whole speech prepared to tell you!!
[Scene: Chandler & Monica’s Apartment. Phoebe is getting ready.]
Phoebe: Don’t I look absolutely magnificent?
Chandler: Oh… my… God…! You do!
Rachel: Wow Phoebe, I’m quite jealous!
Phoebe: Monica? What do you think?
Monica: You got makeup on the furniture!!
Phoebe: Damn… I thought I could hide it.
(Ross walks into the apartment)
Ross: Hi everyone!
Rachel: Where have you been?
Ross: Just talking to Joey.
Phoebe: Why didn’t he come to see me before I left? I want him to experience the beauty called me!
Ross: Trust me… he’ll be experiencing it.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I mean… when you get back.
Phoebe: Oh… right!
Monica: Ross, can I talk to you in my room please?
Ross: Sure Mon… I’ll be right there.
(Monica and Ross exit into her room)
Chandler: So now that Monica is gone… WOW!
(Phoebe giggles)
Rachel: Don’t you have to be leaving?
Phoebe: Oh that’s right! Tell Monica and Ross I said bye!
Chandler: Good luck with your date.
Phoebe: I told you, it’s not a date, it’s a…
Rachel: We know, we know! Just go already!
[Scene: Monica’s Room. Monica is talking to Ross.]
Monica: Ross, is Joey the secret admirer?
Ross: No…
Monica: Yes!
Ross: No…
Monica: Yes!
Ross: Okay, you win!!
Monica: I ALWAYS win!
Ross: Yes, it’s Joey.
Monica: How long have you known he’s liked her?
Ross: For about fifteen minutes.
Monica: That long, and you haven’t told me?!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting at the first table to the left.]
Phoebe: (talking to herself) First table to the left, first table to the left…
(Phoebe looks over and sees Joey)
Phoebe: Joey… what are you doing here? And in that chair?
Joey: Surprise!!
Phoebe: Surprise what? Move!! Now my secret admirer probably moved to another table and I won’t know who he is! Move move move!!
Joey: Pheebs… I am the one that sent your flowers.
Phoebe: Aww, that was sweet, but… MOVE!
Joey: You aren’t understanding! I am the secret admirer!
Phoebe: Oh… my…
Joey: Shocked?
Phoebe: Nope!
Joey: Really?
Phoebe: I’ve known you’ve had a thing for me… I’ve just been waiting for you to do something about it!
(Joey stands up)
Joey: Mind if I do a little more about it?
Phoebe: Go right ahead!
(Phoebe and Joey kiss each other)
THE END
[Scene: Phoebe’s apartment. Joey is talking to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Joey, do I have any important mail?
Joey: Just some bills.
Phoebe: Oh you can just throw those away, I don’t like them.
Joey: But don’t you have to pay them?
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I always forget that! Just put them on the coffee table.
Joey: Oh wait, there’s something else here… It looks like a card.
Phoebe: Let me open it!
(Phoebe opens the letter)
Joey: What does it say?
Phoebe: This person wants me to meet them.
Joey: Anything else?
Phoebe: It says to check outside my door.
Joey: So go check!
Phoebe: Okay… this is creeping me out though!
(Phoebe opens her front door, and there are a dozen roses sitting outside)
Phoebe: Oh my!! Roses!!
Joey: It looks like you have a secret admirer!
Phoebe: How exciting! I’ve never had one of these before! Woo hoo!
Joey: So are you going to meet him?
Phoebe: I haven’t decided.
Joey: But I thought you were excited!
Phoebe: Nah… not really anymore. This is a little too creepy. This could be a plot to murder me!
Joey: I don’t think it is.
Phoebe: How would you know?
Joey: Well… uhh… I don’t.
[Scene: Chandler & Monica’s Apartment. Chandler, Mon, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: So Rachel… are you going to be coming over everyday for breakfast?
Rachel: Monica, like I told you, I’m almost out of money!
Chandler: I thought you had a good job?
Rachel: It is good… but it pays fifty thousand less than I need.
Monica: Fifty thousand less than you need?!
Chandler: Uhh Rachel… what have you been buying?
Rachel: Just some things I need.
Monica: Such as…?
Rachel: Well, y’know… a new car… a new fridge… a big-screen TV…
Monica: You can’t afford that!
Rachel: I think I’m doing alright.
Monica: You are eating here every meal!
Rachel: Because I am your friend, I enjoy your company.
Chandler: More like, you enjoy our money.
(Rachel glares at Chandler)
Rachel: Fine then, if you guys don’t want me here, I’ll eat at Joey’s.
Monica: Joey’s cooking compared to mine? HA!
Rachel: But I thought you didn’t want me to keep eating here?
Monica: Well… I guess I looove it when people enjoy me food!
Chandler: She also enjoys it when I…
Monica: Chandler! Stop talking!
(Phoebe runs into the apartment)
Phoebe: Guys!! Guess what?
Chandler: You won the Publisher’s Clearinghouse ten million dollar sweepstakes?!
Phoebe: No… but that would be nicer than this!
Rachel: What is it Pheebs?
Phoebe: I have a secret admirer!
Rachel: Sounds exciting!
Monica: How cool!
Chandler: You ran through the door to tell us THAT?!
Rachel: Having a secret admirer is a very big deal Chandler!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Monica: Knowing someone loves you from a distance… oh how great that would be…
Chandler: Ummm…. Hello? This is your husband speaking!
Phoebe: Anyways… I’m supposed meet them at Central Perk tonight at eight!
Rachel: Phoebe we are going to make you so pretty for your date!
Phoebe: No, no! It’s not a date, it’s a meeting of me and my secret admirer!
Rachel: Okay then…
[Scene: Ross & Rachel’s Apartment. Joey is talking to Ross.]
Ross: Wait, let me get this straight. You sent Phoebe a dozen flowers?!
Joey: And a note that says to meet me at Central Perk.
Ross: You like Phoebe?
Joey: You never knew? I thought I told you!
Ross: Uh no you didn’t!
Joey: Oh yeah, I guess that was Chandler.
Ross: You told Chandler and you didn’t tell me?
Joey: Look! I don’t know what I’m gonna say, and I need your help!
Ross: Okay… let’s see… how about telling her that you’ve liked her from a distance for so long now, that you finally wanted to surprise her?
Joey: Very good Ross! I knew I came to the right person. Got to go, bye!
(Joey walks out of the apartment)
Ross: Wait! I had a whole speech prepared to tell you!!
[Scene: Chandler & Monica’s Apartment. Phoebe is getting ready.]
Phoebe: Don’t I look absolutely magnificent?
Chandler: Oh… my… God…! You do!
Rachel: Wow Phoebe, I’m quite jealous!
Phoebe: Monica? What do you think?
Monica: You got makeup on the furniture!!
Phoebe: Damn… I thought I could hide it.
(Ross walks into the apartment)
Ross: Hi everyone!
Rachel: Where have you been?
Ross: Just talking to Joey.
Phoebe: Why didn’t he come to see me before I left? I want him to experience the beauty called me!
Ross: Trust me… he’ll be experiencing it.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I mean… when you get back.
Phoebe: Oh… right!
Monica: Ross, can I talk to you in my room please?
Ross: Sure Mon… I’ll be right there.
(Monica and Ross exit into her room)
Chandler: So now that Monica is gone… WOW!
(Phoebe giggles)
Rachel: Don’t you have to be leaving?
Phoebe: Oh that’s right! Tell Monica and Ross I said bye!
Chandler: Good luck with your date.
Phoebe: I told you, it’s not a date, it’s a…
Rachel: We know, we know! Just go already!
[Scene: Monica’s Room. Monica is talking to Ross.]
Monica: Ross, is Joey the secret admirer?
Ross: No…
Monica: Yes!
Ross: No…
Monica: Yes!
Ross: Okay, you win!!
Monica: I ALWAYS win!
Ross: Yes, it’s Joey.
Monica: How long have you known he’s liked her?
Ross: For about fifteen minutes.
Monica: That long, and you haven’t told me?!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting at the first table to the left.]
Phoebe: (talking to herself) First table to the left, first table to the left…
(Phoebe looks over and sees Joey)
Phoebe: Joey… what are you doing here? And in that chair?
Joey: Surprise!!
Phoebe: Surprise what? Move!! Now my secret admirer probably moved to another table and I won’t know who he is! Move move move!!
Joey: Pheebs… I am the one that sent your flowers.
Phoebe: Aww, that was sweet, but… MOVE!
Joey: You aren’t understanding! I am the secret admirer!
Phoebe: Oh… my…
Joey: Shocked?
Phoebe: Nope!
Joey: Really?
Phoebe: I’ve known you’ve had a thing for me… I’ve just been waiting for you to do something about it!
(Joey stands up)
Joey: Mind if I do a little more about it?
Phoebe: Go right ahead!
(Phoebe and Joey kiss each other)
THE END