Everyone list a bad joke!!

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says
"Hey pal, why the long face?"

G'nite folks! Drive safely!

:banana:

Originally posted by TJL
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says
"Hey pal, why the long face?"

G'nite folks! Drive safely!

:banana:

:rotflmao: MY 3300th Post!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

hey wheres my tractor? bahahahha!

LMAO!!!!!!:rotflmao: OMG..Yes, they made me laugh. Especially TJLs! Haha..but Britt Britts BAHAHAAHAHA gave it a nice Arnold touch! LOl.

Yes I agree! :rotflmao: They were all funny especially TJL's, thats my fav, but britt nirtt gave it a nice Arnold touch I got one



Why did the man put a ruler in the toilet?


He wanted to see how long he was in the bathroom BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Why did the man eat cake?

Cuz he was hungry!

Now THAT is a bad joke

Oh you think thats bad??

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!!

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

You thhink that was bad?

Why did the man go to the park?

Aks me WHY?

Why?

How the heck would I know?

Maybe to get some fresh air or somthing!

OH!:lol:

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Where you left it! Muahahahaha

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink
the bartender says "Sorry sir this bar is only for fun guys."
the mushroom says "But I am a Fungi"

so funny...:rolleyes:

I have another one from one of my fav scenes in "You've Got Mail"

Knock, Knock
Whos there
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you going to run this card through the ATM Machine?

:lol:

why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

cuz he had no guts!

What do you call a dog with no legs?
















































Nothing! He won't come to you if you call him anyway!

Hoo boy...

You win, Prankster...

:lol:

Ha. I heard this one on the way to work this morning.

--"Did people laugh when you fell on the ice?

--"No, but the ice cracked."


Damnit, I cant remember it word for word!:mad: Made me laugh earlier though lol

Some real gut busters..

Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He said to the bartender, "I'd like a martinus."
The bartender, a little confused, says, "Don't you mean a martini?"
Caesar replied, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it."
-----------
What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?
She went out with the tide.
-----------
Why do most people have trouble obtaining blood transfusions in Taiwan?
Because they only have Taipei.
-----------
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with.
-----------
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe?
A melon collie.
----------
What did the atlantic say to the pacific?
Nothing. It just waved.
----------
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
----------
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
----------

LOl...I liked these ones....
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Damn!

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang,bang,clop clop clop?
An amish drive-by shooting

How are a texas tornado and a tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.:lol:

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Mercy!

I give up!

No more!

;)

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

ELLifIknow

Why did the two men go fishing?











































Just for the halibut!

hahahaha those are funny!

Originally posted by Original Prankster
Why did the two men go fishing?











































Just for the halibut! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: HSYTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! You still got it!:D :lol:

mmk...my math teacher told us this joke:

what do you call a coffee pot thats turned on?




































hypotenuse...

yeah thats pretty bad...

Originally posted by consentida25
mmk...my math teacher told us this joke:

what do you call a coffee pot thats turned on?




































hypotenuse...

yeah thats pretty bad...
Ya...that took me about a minute to understand. I had to say it outloud LOl.

A cute riddle.

What loses a head during the day, but gains a head at night??


























A pillow! *Cha-ching*

Did anybody hear about that baby that was born in NYC last night that was half human, half animal?!?!?!?












































It had a dear face and a bare bottom. :p

Originally posted by Original Prankster
Did anybody hear about that baby that was born in NYC last night that was half human, half animal?!?!?!?












































It had a dear face and a bare bottom. :p
Ha. Its really sad when you dont understand it and have to read it 3 times! LOl.

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was too chicken

Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood", and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says "Somebody gonna get the door or what?"

Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second one would of ducked.

Where does a one handed man shop? At a second hand store.

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤
A cute riddle.

What loses a head during the day, but gains a head at night??


























A pillow! *Cha-ching*

hahaha that was on Less Than Perfect last night!!

Originally posted by britt britt


hahaha that was on Less Than Perfect last night!!
Hahha. Aww petooey! Youve discovered my secret!! You were watching it for Cindy too!! Muahhahaa:lol:

Originally posted by JoPol_wannabe
Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was too chicken

Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood", and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says "Somebody gonna get the door or what?"

Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second one would of ducked.

Where does a one handed man shop? At a second hand store.
Ha. Ive always loved the peanut joke. Its my fav. Same with the bar.:lol:

:lol: ME TOO!!!!!!!!! I LOVED THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤

Hahha. Aww petooey! Youve discovered my secret!! You were watching it for Cindy too!! Muahhahaa:lol:

lol yup!

why did the orange stop in the middle of the road





















because he ran outta juice:lol:

did you see stevie wonders new piano














































neither did he!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol:

Originally posted by britt britt
did you see stevie wonders new piano














































neither did he!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol:
LMAO

Want to hear a dirty joke?
A man jumped into some mud.