I second hand chewing gum, two packs a day

Flashy, making the scene, _______ convention.

Flashy, making the scene, wearing a cape at a convention.

Where do you even get a _____?

Where do you even get a Puffy shirt?

we were forbidden to socialize with anyone who didn't have their ______.

We were forbidden to socialize with anyone who didn't have their French-English dictionaries.

Your parents are going to ______, right?

Your parents are going to Hell, right?

And now the search for the right ______ begins

And now the search for the right cigar begins.

You know, you should tell your ____ that "serenity now" thing doesn't work.

You know, you should tell your nudist that "serenity now" thing doesn't work.

Is there a real _____ in the back?

Is there a real pig-man in the back?

We talked about going to _______.

We talked about going to a nudist camp.

_________,my friend, that's what happened to me.

The full frogman suit my friend, that's what happened to me.

Hey, your ______ stain looks like Fidel Castro.

Hey, your Vegetable lasagna stain looks like Fidel Castro.

Elaine, never ask me about my ______

Elaine, never ask me about my toy collection.

More _____ and turkey?

More Vegetable lasagna and turkey?

So he says squeeze your _____ together

So he says squeeze your Cup-a-Soups together.

I'm gonna give that guy a taste of his own ______.

I'm gonna give that guy a taste of his own urine.

_________ wore a cape

Merv Griffin wore a cape.

You sidle? You stomp around like a _______.

You sidle? You stomp around like a Pony in Poland.

It's like a Coco Chanel going out with a _______

It's like a Coco Chanel going out with a busboy.

George, stop worrying about this ____. It wasn't your fault.

George, stop worrying about this zipper. It wasn't your fault..

This is the ______moment I've ever experienced

This is the most topless moment I've ever experienced.

Rachel, my ______ shrunk.

Rachel, my Shrimp, shrunk.

Elaine, never ask me about my ________

Elaine, never ask me about my tax problem.

If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to ________?

If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to spot a toppee?

The delicate genius has a ________

The delicate genius has a brand-new Armani suit.

Hey, mate. Fancy a ____?

Hey, mate. Fancy a nitwit.

Elaine have you been ________ a lot lately?

Elaine have you been going to flea markets a lot lately?

We're one out away from losing the ______.

We're one out away from losing the Frogger.

Well it's not like just spotting a _________

Well it's not like just spotting a big salad.

Stationery-store guy called to say he ordered your _______.

Stationery-store guy called to say he ordered your pudding skin singles.

So where ya been? We're ________ here.

So where ya been? We're kissing hello here.

Gendason had been involved in a dispute with the cleaner over a stain on a pair of gray _________.

Gendason had been involved in a dispute with the cleaner over a stain on a pair of gray Cotton Docers.

The delicate ______ has a policy!

The delicate busboy has a policy!

We're face to face, like a ______ and an umpire.

We're face to face, like a pig warrior and an umpire.

You happen to be a very eligible_______

You happen to be a very eligible ball man.

I never had feelings for _____ until he got sick.

I never had feelings for three-legged dog Willie. until he got sick.

Oh, did I frighten you? I'm not _______.

Oh, did I frighten you? I'm not the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl parade.


Mr. Cornstein died, and it's a beautiful ______.

Mr. Cornstein died, and it's a beautiful Biosphere.

I'll loan you my ______ shirt!

I'll loan you my rat shirt!

No baron has ever owned a _____.

No baron has ever owned a Entenmann's.

You had a check bounce at the______

You had a check bounce at the drycleaners.

Or when they try and mangle a positive word into a ____ name.

Or when they try and mangle a positive word into a phony name.

Three buddies sitting around ______ gum.

Three buddies sitting around stretching gum

Well, I just gotta keep my skin moist so I don't ______ out.

Well, I just gotta keep my skin moist so I don't bubble out.

The ________ don't like them

The bankers don't like them.

Jerry is the guy that I _______ed right before you.

Jerry is the guy that I depraved before you.

This was supposed to be the summer of ______

This was supposed to be the summer of soup.

Jerry is going to Florida to help his parents _______.

Jerry is going to Florida to help his parents keep worlds apart.

You happen to be a very ______ lesbian

You happen to be a very Mr. Magoo lesbian.

What, is it a drawing of Mr. _____?

What, is it a drawing of Mr. Farfel?

You can't have sex with someone you _______

You can't have sex with someone you draw.

They're bug _____ is what they are.

They're bug parasite. is what they are.

They're probably creating a whole army of ______ warriors

They're probably creating a whole army of Mr. Magoo warriors.

I'm gonna ask Shelly, but she still might be upset about the __________ incident.

I'm gonna ask Shelly, but she still might be upset about the Vegetable lasagna incident.

The four ________ words in the English language

The four Kramer-iest words in the English language


I suppose we could go to Lincoln Center and I could wear sneakers and ______.

I suppose we could go to Lincoln Center and I could wear sneakers and Cotton Dockers.

Even Superman would be helpless against this _______

Even Superman would be helpless against this pasta sculpture.

Let the chambermaid ______ it up.

Let the chambermaid crease, crumple, cram it up.

Its like a ______ of excecution

It's like a statute of execution.

So he's an eligible ________.

So he's an eligible nitwit

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting ______

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting his rat hat

It's a pretty full house, lighting guy's name is ______.

It's a pretty full house, lighting guy's name is Farfel.

I'm not having him look at my _______

I'm not having him look at my tractor.

I think it's "____ the wagon."

I think it's "Paint the wagon."

He was moving on her like the Storm troopers into _______

He was moving on her like the Storm troopers into the most beautiful Christmas sweater I have ever seen.

How could you tell her? What kind of ______ are you?

How could you tell her? What kind of grotesque are you?

I don't even like the _______

I don't even like the Woody Allen movie.

Every mall has a _______ in it.

Every mall has a Bodega in it.

You know you hurt the ________feelings

You know you hurt the sensitive clown's feelings.

That's right, folks. I just had three shots of _______, and I don't smell.

That's right, folks. I just had three shots of Bosco, and I don't smell.

Did I tell you this guy was _______?

Did I tell you this guy was loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time?

Oh, George, this is beautiful. Is this ______?

Oh, George, this is beautiful. Is this Rat Hat?

What the hell is a _______, anyway?

What the hell is a label maker, anyway?

You only shaved the right side of your _____.

You only shaved the right side of your Pinky Toe

Booze is not a _______.,,,Tell that to my father

Booze is not a meal...Tell that to my father.

Yeah. He's a mystery wrapped in a _____.

Yeah. He's a mystery wrapped in a big matzoh ball

a fake house in the_______

a fake house in the Upper West Side

I had a big fight with the _______.

I had a big fight with the three-legged dog Willie.

I put it on last night and ______ in it

I put it on last night and drove the tractor in it.

I mean, I'll sleep in my ____ if I have to.

I mean, I'll sleep in my puffy shirt! if I have to.

I haven't heard anything about another_______

I haven't heard anything about another germaphobe.

I can't wait for Hanky to come _____ing back to me.

I can't wait for Hanky to come dancing back to me.

Before you go, would you mind changing my _______

Before you go, would you mind changing my mind.

Mr. Thomassoulo, during times of great stress people are capable of superhuman ______.

Mr. Thomassoulo, during times of great stress people are capable of snubbing
You cannot not be _______.

You cannot not be wearing a rat hat.

George, you're not really _________, are you?

George, you're not really a fantasy , are you?

So, I'm going to a nudist ______ next week.

So, I'm going to a nudist flea market next week.

They didn't wanna move to ______, but they're in their 60s....and that's the law.

They didn't wanna move to a nudity colony, but they're in their 60s....and that's the law.

And stay away from those ______

And stay away from those ponies.

The sugar makes my ankles swell up, and I can't _____.

The sugar makes my ankles swell up, and I can't vomit.

Go ahead to your _____ meeting

Go ahead to your nudist meeting.

Now, is he going to a ______, or is he catching 40 winks?

Now, is he going to a Opera, or is he catching 40 winks!

You have a garbage disposal in your _______?

You have a garbage disposal in your fake house?

Well, if you ever talk to her, tell her I'm sorry. Elaine too. She feels ______.

Well, if you ever talk to her, tell her I'm sorry. Elaine too. She feels sexually depraved.

Elaine, never ask me about my _________

Elaine, never ask me about my tractor story.

I didn't know she had a _____.

I didn't know she had a Rat Hat

You're quite _______ you know

You're quite the delicate genius you know.

I'm gonna tell you, but I made a _____ with Cynthia.

I'm gonna tell you, but I made a conversation with Cynthia.

You are very quick to _______

You are very quick to ride your tractor.

I don't want anyone _____er than me.

I don't want anyone sicker than me.

And stay away from those______

And stay away from those Schindler's List make-out sessions.

lsraeli soldiers carry it in case they're _____ behind enemy lines.

lsraeli soldiers carry it in case they're the company of nitwits, behind enemy lines.

So Biff wants to be a _______

So Biff wants to be a vegetable stand.

My mother loves Hampton _______.

My mother loves Hampton fakes.

Elaine have you been ________a lot lately?

Elaine, have you been snorkeling and scuba-diving a lot lately?

Human fascination with _____ is amazing.

Human fascination with Manure is amazing.

You don't ________ on the first date

You don't tell your pony story on the first date.

Kramer gets the coffee table book _______ed.

Kramer gets the coffee table book condoned.

He's just a _______. He doesn't know how to do anything.

He's just a latex salesman He doesn't know how to do anything.

She wasn't supposed to see _____.

She wasn't supposed to see Joseph Puglia..

Boy I like you do better when you weren't a ________

Boy I liked you better when you weren't a face painter.


“Those are my everyday _______.” — Cosmo

“Those are my everyday nitwits.” — Cosmo

I think I said _______ but who the hell knows?

I think I said my dream is to become hopeless but who the hell knows?

She said I wasn’t _____-worthy.

She said I wasn’t Statue-worthy.

Boy I like you do better when you weren't a ________

Boy I liked you better when you weren't a busboy.

I'm gonna get your picture, and you're gonna participate in my ______.

I'm gonna get your picture, and you're gonna participate in my medical journal.

It's like a Coco Chanel going out with a________

It's like a Coco Chanel going out with a Newman.

Yeah, Kramer's the only _____ who could say something like that.

Yeah, Kramer's the only Dofus who could say something like that.

I am one clever ________.

I am one clever guy in front of a restaurant.

I'll give my car to any guy in front of a _______ because he's got a short red jacket.

I'll give my car to any guy in front of a nudist colony because he's got a short red

________ and sex, those are my two passions.

Coffee cakes and sex, those are my two passions.

Well, sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a _____.

Well, sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a revolution.

Ramirez has never heard your _______story.

Ramirez has never heard your puffy shirt story.

This guy has never worked this hard in his life to keep this thing _____.

This guy has never worked this hard in his life to keep this thing stupidity charming.

This bizarre ____ Experiment must end!

This bizarre Chinese dinner experiment must end!

For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and _____.

For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and puke.

This ________, it's very schizophrenic

This nose job, it's very schizophrenic.

Don't ever question my instincts, because my instincts are ______.

Don't ever question my instincts, because my instincts are Karma.

________phone number's coming out tonight

Soup Nazi's phone number's coming out tonight.

Who am I to be thinking about someone's ______?

Who am I to be thinking about someone's chorus boy?

It was a real melee. Yeah, a real_________

It was a real melee. Yeah, a real tennis game.

Not as exciting as Miss _____ Circles.

Not as exciting as Miss tub Circles

Did the medical journal mention anything about standing in a pool of _______?

Did the medical journal mention anything about standing in a pool of salsa and pesto?

I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong ______.

I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong Nudist Colony

!Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a ________?

^LOL

Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in his birthday suit?

Did ___ think I was Chinese?

Did Superman think I was Chinese?

So a ______ tells you to put a balm on and you do it?

So a busboy tells you to put a balm on and you do it?

Listen, I spoke to Paul and Noreen. They might be _______ up.

Listen, I spoke to Paul and Noreen. They might be mopping the floor up.

Well, it's just a ______. Remember that, kids.

Well, it's just a boring chit-chat. Remember that, kids.

Well, if she's available, I won't let her slip through my ________ this time.

Well, if she's available, I won't let her slip through my colony this time.

Look at the cute little ______

Look at the cute little Cain and Abel.

If you borrow my blender, _____ it.

If you borrow my blender, wipe it.

Oh yes, mark my words, Seinfeld - your day of ________ is coming.

Oh yes, mark my words, Seinfeld - your day of The Susie is coming.

Elaine tells Peterman that Susie committed _______.

Elaine tells Peterman that Susie committed the vow of silence.

They're probably creating a whole ________of pig warriors

They're probably creating a whole nudist colony of pig warriors.

She's got that Mattel _____ game we loved.

She's got that Mattel volleyball game we loved.

He was moving on her like the Storm troopers into _______

He was moving on her like the Storm troopers into The Merv Griffin Show.

Hernandez continued past us up the _____.

Hernandez continued past us up the next Stop .

It's upscale clientele, except for _______

It's upscale clientele, except for Newman.

Look, you take that commie crap out to the ______.

Look, you take that commie crap out to the condo newsletter.

But this time, advantage_______

But this time, advantage Duncan Meyer.

In the ninth grade they had us all line up in the schoolyard for this _____.

In the ninth grade they had us all line up in the schoolyard for this cockfight!

Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the_______

Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the Chinese food.

Why did you cheat in that _____?

Why did you cheat in that sperm count?

Well, you can kiss that ______ goodbye, Mr. Von Nozzin.

Well, you can kiss that fat-free yogurt goodbye, Mr. Von Nozzin.

Faster than a speeding _____, Lois.

Faster than a speeding Rickshaw, Lois.

Even Superman would be helpless against this _______

Even Superman would be helpless against this bad breakup.

I want him to go to his grave never being certain that I got that _____.

I want him to go to his grave never being certain that I got that Drake's coffee cake.

Well, you don't ______ somebody, if you know their name!

Well, you don't steal a marble rye from somebody, if you know their name!

I know plenty of _____ in Hollywood too.

I know plenty of pig warriors in Hollywood too.

They call him a __________. He makes problems go away.

They call him a pig-man. He makes problems go away.

He's half man and half _____.

He's half man and half Tyler chicken.

You know a muffin can be very ______

You know a muffin can be very top heavy.

Top of the _____ to you!!

Top of the fantasy world to you!!

I like to have my ______ all pointed up in the air

I like to have my dry-cleaning all pointed up in the air.

I can't believe she took the _____.

I can't believe she took the Gander.

I kind of like this ______ crowd I feel tough

I kind of like this chewing gum crowd, I feel tough.

We like to look at a ____ as if it were an EKG.

We like to look at a statue as if it were an EKG.

You're _________ is safe with me

Your rat hat is safe with me.

No, that's... that's my next-door neighbor. He... He's not quite ______.

No, that's... that's my next-door neighbor. He... He's not quite Karma.

The delicate genius has a ________

The delicate genius has an interesting cultural, ethnic mix.

The doctor's the anchorman. He's got _____ hair, he's in charge.

The doctor's the anchorman. He's got no hair, he's in charge.

I think she finds my ________ charming

I think she finds my nose job charming.

All the sick children in the playroom, looking out the window just traumatized by the _______.

All the sick children in the playroom, looking out the window just traumatized by the nose job.

Jerry, you ______ me out?!

Jerry, you sealed me out?!

I'm gonna have to seal the place up for 48 hours and ____ it.

I'm gonna have to seal the place up for 48 hours and shrink it.

I feel like I'm a little too close to trying on a _________

I feel like I'm a little too close to trying on a puffy rat hat.

You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the ______.

You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the dump.

You ______, how do you like that for criticism

You smell like dead fish and seaweed, how do you like that for criticism.

That's why people take showers when they come home from the _____.

That's why people take showers when they come home from the Opera.

Frankly, I prefer the company of______

Frankly, I prefer the company of fish.

It's an objectionable, offensive _____.

It's an objectionable, offensive Opera.

You know. ______in a tub, that doesn't work

You know. Fish in a tub, that doesn't work.

He's a friend of ours on drugs, and we're gonna ______ him.

He's a friend of ours on drugs, and we're gonna snub him.

No you idiot _______ eat squirrels

No you idiot; Newman eats squirrels.

She hasn't left the _____ in 25 years.

She hasn't left the Biosphere. in 25 years.

Even ________ would be helpless against this stench

Even the Soup Nazi would be helpless against this stench.

I'm sorry. The ______ had insufficient funds.

I'm sorry. The fantasy world had insufficient funds:

You have a garbage disposal in your______?

You have a garbage disposal in your van?

What ever happened with the _____?

What ever happened with the intercourse hello?

What are you going to do on the ______

What are you going to do on the outdoor version of Hair in Danbury, Connecticut?

She must've rolled over on a _____ during the love-in.

She must've rolled over on a fancy fire during the love-in.

A price to pay for just a sexual _______

A price to pay for just a sexual pony ride

I say, cut back on the _____, update the magazines.

I say, cut back on the purification program, update the magazines.

What you're cheating on your ________ test?

What you're cheating on your public toilet test?

Mention my name, she'll give you the _____.

Mention my name, she'll give you the finger.

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting ________.

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting George's girlfriend's piano recital

The guy that used to _______ at the comedy club.

The guy that used to transition from conversation to sex at the comedy club.

Make us ______clown

Make us dump the bucket of Gatorade on Marty Benson's head, clown.

Oh, sure. The guy I told to pour the _______ that killed Marty Benson?

Oh, sure. The guy I told to pour the Bosco that killed Marty Benson?

Look at him he's ______

Ugly......

Seinfelds name is Late for supper!

Seinfeld's puffy shirt is Late for supper!


Kramer joins the ______ Club.

Kramer joins the covenant of the keys Club.

I was in a ________for 6 hours. Give me a break.

I was in rival millennium parties for 6 hours. Give me a break.

George runs through Yankee Stadium during a game, wearing a ________.

George runs through Yankee Stadium during a game, wearing a Rt hat.

Why don't you take your ______ off?

Why don't you take your #1 Dad T-shirt off?

Izzy, an 80-year-old man, can't stand to _____.

Izzy, an 80-year-old man, can't stand to orgy.

I see a _________ sexually depraved miscreant

I see a very nonconfrontational sexually depraved miscreant.

Why isn't Postum a more popular _____?

Why isn't Postum a more popular chewing gum.

Everybody ________ and smelling

Everybody sexually depraved and smelling

The membranes get dry, and it just starts _____.

The membranes get dry, and it just starts burning.

No, no. You can't put _________ on a pizza.

No, no. You can't put soup on a pizza.

She's not gonna have time to _____ with millions of people watching her.

She's not gonna have time to miscreant with millions of people watching her.

Well it's not like just spotting a ______

Well it's not like just spotting a Coke machine.

Breaking up is like knocking over a _____ machine.

Breaking up is like knocking over a soft serve machine.

The delicate genius has a ________

The delicate genius has a name that rhymes with a female body part.


"Show this card at any participating Orlando area Exxon station to get your free Save the _____ poster."

Show this card at any participating Orlando area Exxon station to get your free Save the Mailman poster

A lot of people consider me small and ________

A lot of people consider me small and meek.

So get this. I'm in the bathroom at work today and I see Peggy using a _________.

So get this. I'm in the bathroom at work today and I see Peggy using a urinal!:

Ohh-my-God. The ______ is dead.

Ohh-my-God. The washcloth mitten is dead.

I'd accuse you of cheating, but where would you hide the ______?

I'd accuse you of cheating, but where would you hide the crib notes

Well, that's because you're an _______

Well, that's because you're an array of confusion.

Frank can't be too comfortable with those _____ clanging around.

Frank can't be too comfortable with those Johnson Rods clanging around

Quick Elaine! To my _______

Quick Elaine! To my Chinese restaurant.


-Where's the _____ cashew?
-You no order _____cashew.

-Where's the Pudding skin cashew?..You no order Pudding skin cashew.

Yeah, well, I guess I started losing it when I was about 28 right around the time I made my first ______.

Yeah, well, I guess I started losing it when I was about 28 right around the time I made my first cucumbers on a pizza

Elaine, shiks-appeal is a myth, like the Yeti, or his North American cousin, the _______.

Elaine, shiks-appeal is a myth, like the Yeti, or his North American cousin, the mailman.

With Jon Voight's _____ marks.

With Jon Voight's post marks.

You had an affair with _______?

You had an affair with Gregory Peck's bicycle?

And Barbara Mandrell's ______.

And Barbara Mandrell's mailman!

We only wake you up for the important _______

We only wake you up for the important Thanksgiving Day Parades.

I think we need more special days at the _____.

I think we need more special days at the nudist camp.

They're probably creating a whole army of pig _______

They're probably creating a whole army of pig troublemakers.

I was stuck at the _______ Deli all day. My head is still ringing.

I was stuck at the fantasy world Deli all day. My head is still ringing.

How adorable is the pinky _____?

How adorable is the pinky pig-man?

The lmprov is playing _________: The Musical.

The lmprov is playing Hipster Doofus: The Musical

Of course _______ is a prerequisite

Of course, becoming a pig-man is a prerequisite.

I once talked to the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. He bought two _______s from me.

I once talked to the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. He bought two Manssier's from me

Entenmann's at the end of the ______

Entenmann's at the end of the Broadway show

Broadway has no room for _____ like you.

Broadway has no room for nudist like you

She loves quirky, ______ guys.

She loves quirky, chain-smoking guys.

What am l, a bulimic, _______ stenographer from Staten lsland?

What am l, a bulimic, Warrior Princess stenographer from Staten lsland?

Why don't you bring in an extra _______ too?

Why don't you bring in an extra Pez dispenser too?

We could go to one of those cappuccino _______.

We could go to one of those cappuccino Domain's.

I don't even like the______

I don't even like the hit-and-run victim.

These pretzels are making me _______.

These pretzels are making me vomit!

You don't _________ on the first date

You don't puke on the first date.

Tuesday has no feel. _____ has a feel.

Tuesday has no feel. Ziggy has a feel

My Name rhymes with a part of the ______ anatomy

My name rhymes with a part of the monkey's anatomy.

And my _____ goes flying out.

And my pinky toe goes flying out

Oh yes, mark my words, Seinfeld - your day of ________ is coming.