Frank Gannucci
07-01-2025, 09:52 AM
A Honeymooners July 4th:
(Ed meets up with Ralph who is on the roof of his bus.)
Ed: “What are you doing up there Ralphie?”
Ralph: “I’m installing a fireworks machine that a street vendor sold me along with fireworks. He gave me his full word that the machine and fireworks are legal. I told Alice about this. Naturally, she says that they are illegal. I said that she’s wrong. The street vendor looked honest. I’m going to be the first bus driver to have fireworks emanate from his bus. I will be FAMOUS.”
Ed: “Inside that head is a thinking machine.”
Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will prove Alice wrong just like I always do. I won’t even test it.”
Ed: “Always love the fact that you work smart and not hard.”
Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will be famous.”
(On July 4th, Ralph is driving his bus full of passengers. One of them is Ed. Ed goes up to Ralph.)
Ed: “What is this Ralph?”
Ralph: “That is to activate the machine up there.”
Ed: “I wonder what this button does.”
Ralph (yells): “DON’T.”
(The fireworks go off and hit the traffic lights and telephone lines.)
Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE!”
Ed: “I’m sorry.”
(Cops pull over the bus next to the Gotham Bus Company. Mr. Marshall comes out.)
Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, whats the meaning of this? What is this illegal contraption that I heard you installed on this bus without my permission?”
Ralph: “Huminahumina.”
Cop: “This is an illegal machine Mr. Kramden along with illegal fireworks. You are under arrest.”
Male Passenger: “The skinny guy fired it too.”
Cop: “You two sir are under arrest.”
Ed (starting to cry, yells): “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO JAIL.”
Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, you’re fired.”
Ed: “Looks like you will be infamous.”
Ralph (yells): “OH, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT.”
(The machine and fireworks seller comes by.)
Man: “I am guilty too. Sorry.”
Cop: “You are all under arrest.”
Ralph: “Oh boy. I could’ve been famous.”
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you all. Have a happy and safe July 4th. As always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT.”
(Crowd cheers.)
(Ed meets up with Ralph who is on the roof of his bus.)
Ed: “What are you doing up there Ralphie?”
Ralph: “I’m installing a fireworks machine that a street vendor sold me along with fireworks. He gave me his full word that the machine and fireworks are legal. I told Alice about this. Naturally, she says that they are illegal. I said that she’s wrong. The street vendor looked honest. I’m going to be the first bus driver to have fireworks emanate from his bus. I will be FAMOUS.”
Ed: “Inside that head is a thinking machine.”
Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will prove Alice wrong just like I always do. I won’t even test it.”
Ed: “Always love the fact that you work smart and not hard.”
Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will be famous.”
(On July 4th, Ralph is driving his bus full of passengers. One of them is Ed. Ed goes up to Ralph.)
Ed: “What is this Ralph?”
Ralph: “That is to activate the machine up there.”
Ed: “I wonder what this button does.”
Ralph (yells): “DON’T.”
(The fireworks go off and hit the traffic lights and telephone lines.)
Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE!”
Ed: “I’m sorry.”
(Cops pull over the bus next to the Gotham Bus Company. Mr. Marshall comes out.)
Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, whats the meaning of this? What is this illegal contraption that I heard you installed on this bus without my permission?”
Ralph: “Huminahumina.”
Cop: “This is an illegal machine Mr. Kramden along with illegal fireworks. You are under arrest.”
Male Passenger: “The skinny guy fired it too.”
Cop: “You two sir are under arrest.”
Ed (starting to cry, yells): “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO JAIL.”
Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, you’re fired.”
Ed: “Looks like you will be infamous.”
Ralph (yells): “OH, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT.”
(The machine and fireworks seller comes by.)
Man: “I am guilty too. Sorry.”
Cop: “You are all under arrest.”
Ralph: “Oh boy. I could’ve been famous.”
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you all. Have a happy and safe July 4th. As always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT.”
(Crowd cheers.)