(The NY Mets beat the Milwaukee Brewers 8-4.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game from Target.)

Ed: “That was a sweet game Ralph-ie boy.”

Ralph: “That is true Norton. The Mets did the impossible. They are now one game away from advancing.”

Ed: “They are in Milwaukee.”

Ralph: “I remember when we had the Raccoon National Convention in Milwaukee. Alice was so concerned that I wasn’t going to be able to handle my liquor.”

Ed: “Yes, I remember you attempting to play a pizza pie on the record player.”

(People are startled.)

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Ralph: “Ain’t he a scream when he is kidding around?” (To Ed, whispers): “I would like to belt you right in the mouth.”

Ed: “Well, maybe we can have a subway World Series after the Yankees win their series.”

Ralph: “I certainly wouldn’t mind it.”

(They both sing a song about a subway World Series.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Ladies and gentlemen, Art Carney.”

(Crowd cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie: “Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 2) (The Milwaukee Brewers beat the NY Mets 5-3.)

(Ralph is sitting at the kitchen table moping.)

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “The Mets blew a chance at a sweep.”

Ralph: “Now, they have to play one more game. They could’ve taken advantage but they blew it. Now, the chances of us getting a Subway series is getting less.”

Ed: “I understand that you want a Subway series but I don’t.”

Ralph: “Why not?”

Ed: “The 2000 Subway series at the time was the lowest rated series ever because no one outside of NYC cared. Not even the people in Miami Beach.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph: “I want one.”

Ed: “I know of an easier way to get one and you will like it.”

Ralph: “What is it?”

Ed: “Go to Subway and order seven footlong sandwiches for your dinner.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 3) (The NY Mets won the NL Wild Card, 2 games to 3, by beating the Milwaukee Brewers 4-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are celebrating in the Kramden apartment.)

Ed (yells): “THE METS WON RALPH-IE BOY!”

Ralph (as Reggie Van Gleason III, yells): “THEY CAME MMMMMMMMMBACK.”

Ed: “Now they face the Philadelphia Phillies and hopefully they will cream them.”

Ralph: “Yes, I agree.”

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: “I take it that the Mets won.”

Ralph: “You got that Ralph. Tonight, is my night to howl.”

Ed: “Time to spread the word.”

Ralph: “You got that right Ed.”

Alice: “Ralph, what are you gonna do?”

Ralph: “You’ll see.”

(Ralph goes to the window, opens it and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “LETS CELEBRATE! THE METS WON!”

All (from outside, yell): “SHUT UP KRAMDEN!”

Ralph (yells): “ALL RIGHT!”

(Ralph & Ed go outside. Hours later, Ralph comes back with two black eyes.)

Ralph (yells): “I GOT A BIIIIIIG MOUTH!”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 4) (The NY Mets beat the Philadelphia Phillies 6-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are on the subway listening to the radio broadcast. They are celebrating along with the rest of the patrons.)

Ed (yells): “THOSE METS WON AGAIN!”

Ralph (yells): “YOU GOTTA BELIEVE.”

Man (yells): “YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN MAN!”

Ralph: “With the Mets winning, they can win the World Series. Either them or the Yankees.”

Man: “How about a Subway World Series?”

Ralph: “That would be great. I would love a Subway…” (to Ed): “Don’t you dare say it.”

Man: “It does look like you would eat a million subway sandwiches.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): “ALL RIGHT! LETS GO!”

(A big huge brawl develops in the Subway. Later on, Cops come and arrest Ralph. Alice later bails him out.)

Alice: “What do you got to say for yourself?”

Ralph: “I got a BIIIIG mouth.”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 5) (The NY Yankees beat the KC Royals 6-5.)

(Ralph meets Ed by the doorstep of the building.)

Ralph: “The Yanks beat the Royals last night Royally.”

(Ralph laughs.)

Ed: “They certainly made the Royals look like court jesters.”

(Ralph laughs.)

Ralph: “The Yankees are going to show the Royals that they are the Kings of their castle. Kings Norton! They rule their kingdom. The Royals are nothing more than lowly privates.”

Ed: “You always say that you are the King of your castle Ralph.”

Ralph: “Yes I do.”

Ed: “But with your reputation, in the eyes of many people, you are the court jester.”

Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON! LETS GO! PUT ‘EM UP!”

(Ed runs away from Ralph.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 6) (The Philadelphia Phillies beat the NY Mets 7-6.)

(Ralph comes home all upset.)

Alice: “Hello Ralph! I understand that your Mets lost.”

Ralph: “Don’t rub it in Alice. I wanted another Subway World Series.”

Alice: “Just so you can order a million $5 footlongs?”

Ralph: “Ooooh, you’re a riot Alice. A regular riot. You’re just like Norton with all the fat jokes.”

Alice: “Ralph, the Mets and Phillies are tied at one game a piece. There is still a chance.”

(Ed comes down and blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “It was a dark, dark day Alice. The Mets lost. I think that Ralph is upset.”

Ralph: “Youre so right. But I think that every New Yorker wants a Subway World Series.”

Ed: “Except for me. Think of the lack of TV ratings.”

Ralph: “Oh shut up. That reminds me. Garrity doesn’t want one too.”

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “GARRITY, WE ARE GETTING A SUBWAY WORLD SERIES. I WANT ONE.”

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): “SO YOU CAN EAT A MILLION $5 FOOTLONGS?”

(People outside laugh. So does Ed.)

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

(The KC Royals beat the NY Yankees 4-2.)

(Ralph just watched the game on TV in Ralph’s apartment with Ed.)

Ralph: “What a lousy game Ed.”

(Ed blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “That’s true Ralph. Now the series is tied.”

Ralph: “The nerve of the other team calling themselves the Royals. Har-har-hardee-har-har. They know nothing about being Royal. They are not a king like me Norton. I’m the king of my castle.”

Ed: “Yes. I know of what restaurant a person like you would eat at.”

Ralph: “Which one?”

Ed: “Burger King. I think you would set the record for eating the most whoppers in a single sitting.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT!”

Ed (yells): “YOU RULE.”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 8) (The NY Mets beat the Philadelphia Phillies 7-2.)

(Ralph & Ed come home.)

Ed (yells): “WHAT A GAME!”

Ralph: “You can say that again.”

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: “Hi boys! I take it the Mets won.”

Ralph: “Yes they did.”

Ed: “You should’ve seen Ralph. He was bursting with joy. With his size, I thought he was gonna get a heart attack.”

Ralph: “Nobody can spoil my mood. The Mets have won and they are one game away from playing a California team. Boy, I can’t wait. Them playing the Padres or the Dodgers.”

Ed: “Especially the Dodgers since they LEFT Brooklyn.”

(Ed cries in hilarious fashion.)

Ralph: “Oh come on Norton. You got to believe that the Mets will win.”

(They all sing: “You Got To Believe.”)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

(The NY Mets win the NLDS, 3 games to 1,by beating the Philadelphia Phillies 4-1.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at a pizzeria.)

Ralph (yells): “YES, THEY DID IT. THEY WON.”

Ed (yells): “IT WAS GREAT. NOW, THE METS CAN GO TO CALIFORNIA.”

Ralph: “Who would’ve thought?”

Ed: “Not me. This is great.”

(Harvey & George come in.)

Ralph: “There’s that BUM Harvey and his pal George.”

(Harvey & George come by.)

Harvey: “I see that your Mets have won. It was a fluke. They will lose in the next round.”

Ralph: “Oh yeah? Well, we will see about that. Come on Norton.”

(Ralph & Ed leave. Behind Harvey & George’s back, Ralph gets a piece of pizza.)

Ralph (whispering to Ed): “Im go8ng to hit Harvey behind his back with this. He won’t know what hit him.”

Ed: “You won’t be able to run away Ralph. Your speed is nowhere near the speed of a roadrunner.”

Ralph: “Don’t start.”

Ed (as Ralph throws the pizza): “Don’t hit Harvey with the pizza Ralph.”

(Harvey turns around and catches Ralph red-handed. A huge pizza fight develops. The two get jailed. Ed goes to bail him out.)

Ed: “Why Ralph did you have to do that?”

Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON! PUT ‘EM UP!”

(Ralph gets jailed,again.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you.” (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 10) (The NY Yankees beat the KC Royals 3-2.)

(Ralph meets Ed at his manhole.)

Ralph: “What a Yankee game last night Norton. The Yankees really beat up those Royals.”

Ed: “I heard Ralph. The Yankees are ONE win away from advancing.”

Ralph: “It’s only game 4. The Yankees have a one game advantage. This city needs another subway series. It’s been 24 long years.”

Ed: “Too bad the networks won’t feel the same way.”

Ralph: “That’s just too bad. Who cares if they lose millions of dollars? Who cares if the ratings go down? A million dollars is a mere bag of shells.”

Ed: “That’s right.”

Ralph: “ A million dollars is…is…”

(Ralph faints.)

Ed (yells): “SOMEONE HELP. I NEED TO REVIVE A WHALE.”

(Ed runs away to get help.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 11) (The NY Yankees won the ALDS, 3 games to 1, by beating the KC Royals 3-1.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game from the bowling alley.)

Ed (yells): “ANOTHER YANKEE WIN RALPH.”

Ralph: “With both NY teams in their respective championship series this year, we just may have a Subway series.”

Ed: “I bet that the people at Fox would hate it.”

Ralph: “That is true. But tough luck for them.”

Ed: “Always a compassionate human you are Ralph. You are a sweet kid.”

Ralph: “Boy, I can’t wait to see that Garrity’s face tonight because he was rooting for the Royals. He says that I drive everybody in the building crazy. He’s just jealous that’s all and do you know why because my picture will be in the front page of every paper in the country when either the Mets or the Yankees win. His response was: ‘So will mine for killing you.’”

Ed: “Just think of the rest of North America, they won’t care for this series.”

Ralph: “Except for the people in Miami Beach. They are the greatest crowds in the world.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph: “Whether you like it or not, it’s time for a Subway series.”

(Ralph sings a song about a Subway series.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you.” (Yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 12) (The LA Dodgers beat the NY Mets 9-0.)

(Ralph & Ed are at Ed’s manhole.)

Ed: “What a BLOUTZ. We lost by nine runs.”

Ralph: “I saw that Pat Sajak was in the crowd. He probably caused our Mets team to spin Bankrupt so to speak. That sneak.”

Ed: “Well, it’s just the first game Ralph. They can still win.”

Ralph: “I know. I just want a Subway World Series. Because of that Pat Sajak, the Mets lost.”

Ed: “I know that when he got into Dodger Stadium to buy something, he didn’t buy a vowel.”

(Pat Sajak enters. Crowd cheers.)

Pat: “Hiya gentlemen. Did you see last nights game?”

Ralph: “Huminahumina. Huminahumina.”

Ed: “Ralph, did you just call this guy a sneak for causing the Mets to lose?”

Pat: “What? I’m glad that you were never on my show when I was hosting. Ryan Seacrest would have you.”

Ralph: “Huminahumina. Huminahumina.”

Pat: “You wanna fight sir?”

(Later on, Ralph & Ed go to the bus depot. Ralph has a black eye from Pat.)

Ed: “You got humiliated by a game show host. Why?”

Ralph (to Ed, yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage.)

Jackie: “Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest. Mr. Wheel of Fortune, PAT SAJAK.”

(Crowd cheers as Pat cones on stage and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie: “And Art Carney.”

(Crowd cheers as Art cones on stage and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 13) (The NY Mets beat the LA Dodgers 7-3.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at Fascination Bar & Grill. Ralph is still sporting that black eye due to Pat Sajak punching him out in the previous skit (Part 12) https://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=475735)

Ralph: “Now the Mets have evened the series. They showed LA who’s the boss. Hahaha!”

Ed: “You got that right Ralph.”

Ralph: “Only seven more wins until NY gets its subway series.”

Ed: “You really want this Ralph.”

Raloh: “So does any smart New Yorker who is a baseball fan.”

Ed: “I don’t want one Ralph.”

Ralph: “I know your reasoning is dumb. It’s because Fox is going to lose ratings. That’s no excuse Norton. I don’t care about ratings.”

Ed: “You would if you were a network executive.”

Ralph: “Yeah, I would but I am not. I am a bus driver. I am a BIG baseball fan.”

(Ed opens his mouth.)

Ralph (yells): “DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.”

Ed: “I won’t.”

Ralph: “You better not.”

Ed: “I will say that you are a biiig baseball fan who is a bus driver.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT!l GEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 14) (The NY Yankees beat the Cleveland Guardians 5-2.)

(Ralph & Ed meet at the Gotham Bus Company.)

Ralph: “Another NY win. The Yankees are now three games away from the World Series.”

Ed: “It looks like Cleveland’s drought of World Series titles will continue.”

Ralph: “They haven’t won a World Series since ‘48.”

Ed: “76 years ago.”

Ralph: “I hope that Joe Fenstablau doesn’t come here and mope.”

(Joe does.)

Joe: “Looks like we may have a Subway series guys. That’s a shame for me.”

Ralph: “I take it that you still are not a fan of our teams.”

Joe: “No I am not. The Yankees have won enough.”

Ed: “They haven’t won a World Series since 2009.”

Ralph: “If the NY teams don’t win, I will be a great loser.”

Joe: “You need to be a good winner and a good loser.”

Ed: “When I beat Ralph at cards, he is always a good loser especially since I have always beat him.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 15) (The NY Yankees beat the Cleveland Guardians 6-3.)

(Ralph & Ed come into the Kramden apartment.)

Ralph (yells): “WHAT A GAME!”

(Alice & Trixie come out.)

Trixie: “I take it that the Yankees won.”

Ed: “You bet they did Trixie. NY just keeps winning.”

Ralph: “Now we are five games away from a Subway series. Now the Mets have to beat the LA Dodgers at home. Those Dodgers are gonna get a rude awakening.”

Ed: “You bet they will.”

Ralph: “I wonder how that Garrity is taking it. I bet he is pulling his hair out. Hahaha!”

Alice: “Ralph, don’t rub it in Garrity’s face.”

Ralph: “Alice, I am not gonna do anything dumb.”

(Later on, Ralph comes home with a pie in the face. Alice greets him.)

Alice: “Ralph, did you rub it in Garrity’s face? If you did, it looks like you had your pie and eat it too.”

Ralph (yells): “DON’T START ALICE!”

(Jackie comes on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 16) (The LA Dodgers beat the NY Mets 8-0.)

(Ralph & Ed come home all upset. Alice greets them.)

Alice: “That was a bad game.”

Ralph: “You said it Alice. The Mets got ROMPED.”

(Ed blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “Now the Mets are in a hole. They got to get out of this.”

Ralph: “Next is game 4. The Mets better win to increase our chances of a Subway Series.”

Alice: “I just hope Ralph that you don’t go overboard if both NY teams make it.”

Ed: “Naaaa Alice. This boy won’t go overboard.”

Ralph: “Thank you Norton.”

Ed: “With him, he will BREAK the board before going over it.”

Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 17) (The Cleveland Guardians best the NY Yankees 5-3.)

(Ralph is sitting by the table. He is moping.)

(Ed comes in and blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “What a heartbreaking game Ralph. The Yanks BLEW it.”

Ralph: “You can say that again Norton. At least the Yankees still have a one game lead.”

Ed: “Yeah. I wonder how Cleveland feels. I bet they feel like their World Series drought may finally end.”

Ralph: “That is never gonna happen Norton. Cleveland thinks they have it won. They don’t. As far as I’m concerned, we are getting our Subway series.”

Ed: “Hey if Cleveland wins and both of our NY teams fail in their quest to get to the World Series, I am voting for Cleveland. They deserve to end their drought.”

(Ralph gets up and points his finger to the door. Ed gets up.)

Ed: “This is now way to…”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 17) (The Cleveland Guardians best the NY Yankees 5-3.)

(Ralph is sitting by the table. He is moping.)

(Ed comes in and blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “What a heartbreaking game Ralph. The Yanks BLEW it.”

Ralph: “You can say that again Norton. At least the Yankees still have a one game lead.”

Ed: “Yeah. I wonder how Cleveland feels. I bet they feel like their World Series drought may finally end.”

Ralph: “That is never gonna happen Norton. Cleveland thinks they have it won. They don’t. As far as I’m concerned, we are getting our Subway series.”

Ed: “Hey if Cleveland wins and both of our NY teams fail in their quest to get to the World Series, I am voting for Cleveland. They deserve to end their drought.”

(Ralph gets up and points his finger to the door. Ed gets up.)

Ed: “This is now way to…”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 18) (The LA Dodgers beat the NY Mets 10-2.)

(Ralph meets Ed at his manhole.)

Ralph: “What a bad day yesterday was for NY teams.”

Ed: “The Dodgers really beat up the Mets.”

Ralph: “I know and I had to hear it from Garrity. Now the chances of a Subway Series for us is slim.”

Ed: “Look at the bright side Ralph. The Yankees are still in it.”

Ralph: “You got that right Ed. I think that the Yankees will tough it out and hopefully the Mets will do the same.”

Ed: “I just got this feeling that a Subway series will cause people outside of NY not to care.”

Ralph: “I also know that my mother-in-law also hates NY teams. She is a sneak. She says that I’m setting myself up for failure. Ha! I’m just a big fan.”

Ed: “You literally are.”

Ralph: “Oooooh, you’re a riot Norton. A regular riot. But, I think Subway series games are great.”

(Ralph sings a song about Subway series games. After that, the crowd cheers.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT TO ALL!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 19) (The NY Mets beat the LA Dodgers 12-6.)

(Ralph just watched the game on TV.)

Ralph (yells): “WHAT A GAME ALICE! THE METS DESTROYED THE DODGERS.”

Alice (yells): “ALL RIGHT RALPH! CALM DOWN. MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS APARTMENT DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU AND ED ANNOUNCE IT.”

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph-ie boy! The Mets won by six runs. That wasn’t a blitz. That was a BLOUTZ.”

Ralph: “Me and Norton will announce the Mets winning because it’s my night to howl and I so want to rub it in Garrity’s face.”

Alice: “You did that enough Ralph and you paid for it each time with him giving you black eyes.”

Ed: “Maybe we should make a huge banner and put it on the building praising NY area teams.”

Ralph: “Tonight when the Yankees win, I will really howl.”

Ed: “And if you do, I think the whole universe will hear it.”

(Ralph laughs.)

Alice: “I’m going upstairs.”

(She does.)

(Ralph gets a bullhorn, opens the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “ATTENTION EVERYONE! EVERYBODY IN THE BUILDING! HEAR THIS! THE METS HAVE WON! EAT YOUR HEART OUT DODGERS FANS! AFTER ALL, THE DODGERS HAD THE AUDACITY TO LEAVE NEW YORK 67 YEARS AGO. THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO GARRITY. HAHAHA!”

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): “HEY KRAMDEN!”

(Ralph looks at Garrity’s window and gets slimed.)

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (to Ed, yells): “SHUT UP!”

(Ralph sits down at the table.)

(Jackie with slime still in him, walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 20) (The NY Yankees beat the Cleveland Guardians 8-6.)

(Ralph & Ed are in the pool room.)

Ralph: “What a game last night Norton. The Yankees win again.”

Ed: “They may be on their way to the World Series.”

Ralph: “When they do, they will wait for the Mets. I know that we will have a Subway series this year.”

Ed: “What a great baseball season.”

(Harvey & George walk by.)

Harvey: “So your Yankees won again? I don’t like the Yankees and Mets.”

Ed: “Why don’t…”

(Ralph elbows Ed in the stomach.)

Ralph: “All right. I’m not going to bet anything this time.”

Harvey: “I bet that you will.”

Ed: “So do I.”

Harvey (to Ed): “You keep out of this.”

Ed: “okay. WE bet $200 that the Yankees will go to the World Series.”

Harvey: “It’s a one-way bet and if you don’t have the money, we will come get you. We know where you live.”

(Harvey & George leave.)

Ed (yells): “APOX ON YOU TWO AND YOUR ANCESTORS.” (to Ralph): “Why did you help make that bet for?”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: “‘Apox on you and your ancestors.’”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 21) (The NY Yankees won the ALCS, 4 games to 1, by beating the Cleveland Guardians 5-2.)

(Ralph comes home with Ed.)

Ralph & Ed (singing loudly and off-key): “WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/WEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/NO TIME FOR LOSERS/BECAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIINS OF THE…”

Alice (coming out, yells): “SHUT UP!”

Ralph: “Alice, you are the first person to interrupt our perfect version of that song.”

Alice: “Don’t make me laugh. I know that you boys are happy that the Yankees are in the World Series but don’t rub it in.”

Ralph: “Tonight is my night to rub it in. I can’t wait to see that poor, misguided soul, Joe Fenstablau on Monday.”

Ed: “He’s a misguided soul.”

Ralph: “Now we are TWO wins away from a Subway series.”

Ed: “The ideal match would be the Yankees vs the Dodgers.”

Ralph: “That’s right.”

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): “WHAT?”

Ed: “I told you Ralph. I feel for the networks losing all that revenue from a Subway series.”

Ralph (yells): “YOU WANNA FEEL SOMETHING? LETS GO!”

Ed (yells): “I MAY BE FIGHTING AN ELEPHANT IN HERE BUT I AM NOT SCARED. I SEEN YOU LOSE A FIGHT TO A PERSON SKINNER THAN ME. HE WAS ALSO A KID.”

Ralph (yells): “OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 22) (The LA Dodgers won the NLCS, 4 games to 2, by beating the NY Mets 10-5.)

(Ralph is at the bus company locker room. Ed comes in.)

Ed: “Hello Ralph.”

Ralph: “Hiya Norton. Our Subway series got canned.”

Ed: “I saw it Ralph. It was horrible. At least the Yankees got in.”

Ralph: “Yes that’s true and now the Yankees are gonna punish the Dodgers for beating the Mets on Friday. I can’t wait. They destroyed our Subway series.”

(Joe Fenstablau comes by.)

Joe: “Hello you two. I saw the Mets lose. It was bad.”

Ed: “Why is everyone saying the Subway series is destroyed? It’s still happening.”

Ralph: “What do you mean?”

Ed: “The Dodgers used to play in NY and then they moved to Los Angeles where they enjoyed GREATER success. Winning multiple World Series titles…”

Ralph (gets up and yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 22) (The LA Dodgers won the NLCS, 4 games to 2, by beating the NY Mets 10-5.)

(Ralph is at the bus company locker room. Ed comes in.)

Ed: “Hello Ralph.”

Ralph: “Hiya Norton. Our Subway series got canned.”

Ed: “I saw it Ralph. It was horrible. At least the Yankees got in.”

Ralph: “Yes that’s true and now the Yankees are gonna punish the Dodgers for beating the Mets on Friday. I can’t wait. They destroyed our Subway series.”

(Joe Fenstablau comes by.)

Joe: “Hello you two. I saw the Mets lose. It was bad.”

Ed: “Why is everyone saying the Subway series is destroyed? It’s still happening.”

Ralph: “What do you mean?”

Ed: “The Dodgers used to play in NY and then they moved to Los Angeles where they enjoyed GREATER success. Winning multiple World Series titles…”

Ralph (gets up and yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 23) (The LA Dodgers beat the NY Yankees 6-3.)

(Ralph is sitting down at the table moping.)

Raloh: “Gee what a bad game Alice. The Yankees could’ve had it.”

Alice: “Ralph, it’s only one game. They can still win it.”

Ralph: “Oh boy! This will put a dent in the Yankees arensal. The NYC area needs another World Series win.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “What a bad game Ralph-ie boy! Hiya Alice!”

Alice: “Hello.”

Ed: “I saw the game Ralph. It was a dark, dark day.”

Ralph: “You can say that again Norton.”

Ed: “Imagine if the series went seven games and the Yankees lost the first three and won the next four.”

Ralph: “Yeah, I would be rubbing it in Garrity’s face.”

Ed: “After that, he would punch you.”

Ralph: “Well, the world needs another Yankee win.”

(They sing a song about the world needing another Yankee win.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 24) (The LA Dodgers beat the NY Yankees 4-2.)

(Ralph and Ed just watched the game at the bowling alley.)

Ralph: “What a bad game Norton. Now the Yankees are down by two games with the chance of LA winning in the Bronx.”

Ed: “Don’t let this upset you. The Yankees are down but they are not out. Remember what happened in 1996 when they lost the first two games?They won. Sure it was a different ball game pardon the pun but still.”

Ralph: “You’re right Norton. The Yankees can still win it. I can assure you that the Yankees have a chance.”

Ed: “Sure they do. I remember a time that a team won a series after losing the first three.”

Ralph: “What was that team and who did they beat?”

Ed: “The Red Sox and they beat the Yankees.”

Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEEET OUT! GEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 25) (The LA Dodgers beat the NY Yankees 4-2.)

(Ralph & Ed get on the subway.)

Ralph: “What a lousy game Norton. What a lousy game.”

Ed: “I couldn’t agree more.”

(Ed blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ed: “Never before have the Yankees been swept out of a World Series before.”

Ralph: “Yeah.”

Ed: “The Yankees still have a chance Ralph. They can now run the table and win.”

Ralph: “The odds of that happening are slim.”

Ed: “I know they are. Remember what happened 20 years ago? The Red Sox lost the first three games against the Yankees and they still won.”

Ralph: “Don’t remind us Norton. We are still reeling from that.”

Ed: “Yeah. Let’s all hope the reverse happens. Hey imagine what it would be like if the Yankees won the first three games and lost the next four against the Dodgers.”

(A minute later, The subway stops. The door opens. We see Ed being shoved out.)

Ralph (on train, yells): “GEEEEEET OUT AND STAY OUT!”

(The subway leaves.)

Ed: “I guess I can go home by sewer.”

(Ed walks away.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 26) (The NY Yankees beat the LA Dodgers 11-4.)

(The girls are in the Norton apartment.)

Trixie: “With the game over Alice, expect the boys to be hooting and hollering that the Yankees won.”

Alice: “I know.”

Ralph (from hallway, yells): “WHAT A GAME!”

(They enter.)

Ed: “Whaddaya say girls?”

Ralph: “Did you see the game? Boy, when we want the Yankees to win, they do.”

Ed: “I think that the Yankees for inspiration they should watch the movie Miracle in the club house. That’s what the 2004 Red Six did when they beat the Yankees in the ALCS.”

Ralph: “Don’t remind me Norton. All I know is that the Yankees season has been extended by at least a day. At least a day.”

Alice: “I hoped that you boys had more common sense then to come in here at 1a yelling.”

Ralph: “You are not a true fanatic like we are Alice. We are fanatics especially me. I am the biggest sports fan ever.”

(Alice goes to speak.)

Ralph (yells): “DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.”

Ed: “I think the team needs is a Yankee miracle.”

Ralph: “Yes, that’s what it needs.”

(They all sing a song about miracles.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOID NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY MLB fan? (Part 27) (The LA Dodgers won the World Series, 4 games to 1, by beating the NY Yankees 7-6.)

(Ralph & Ed are moping at the Kramden kitchen table.)

Ed: “That Aaron Judge really blew it. So did the Yankees.”

Ralph: “I agree Norton. Tomorrow, I got to see that Joe Fenstablau. I am so upset. The Yankees championship drought is extended until 2025. That Garrity rubbed it in our faces that the Yankees lost. I am going to show him. Come on Norton. We are going to Walmart and I’ll show you what I am going to do to him.”

(They do. Later in at 3am, Ralph & Ed come home with pies on their faces. Alice sees them.)

Alice: “Ed, I know that for the most part you aren’t responsible. Ralph you are mostly responsible as well as Garrity for this mess.”

Ed: “Looks like Ralph had his cake and ate it too.”

Ralph (yells): “GEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie, with cake still on his face, comes on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!”

(Crowd cheers.)