He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats

I'm gonna have to post those on my fridge!!!!:cheers:

"Liquor before beer, and you're in the clear.

Beer before liquor, and you've never been sicker."

--Krystal Lake

Let's make a pact about drinking...Let's never stop."
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." - My grampa.

Um...I don't have any quotes...but I will contribute a :lol: face.

'Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.' -Winston Churchill

'Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.' -Ernest Hemmingway

And my favorite.....

'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead' -Traditional Gaelic toast

Originally posted by Kay Scarpetta


'Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.' -Ernest Hemmingway




ah good ole hemmingway...I was going post this one

To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems! - Homer Simpson

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

--- Anon


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

--- Mega Jones


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

--- Anon

"I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler. I don't like beer." George Bernard Shaw

Did you know that beer makes you smart?



It made BUD WISER!:lol:

Sorry! That's an old one!:D

Originally posted by Penny Lane
Did you know that beer makes you smart?



It made BUD WISER!:lol:

Sorry! That's an old one!:D
LOL. I remember my friend's mom used to call it butt wiper...yeah, that was weird.

:lol: these are all so funny.

last year i saw a guy wearing a shirt that said "save water. drink beer."

Beer, Now there's a temporary solution - Homer Simpson

Originally posted by Kay Scarpetta
'Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.' -Winston ChurchillActuallly, my dear, WC Fields said that. :)

Originally posted by kittflynn
Actuallly, my dear, WC Fields said that. :)

Oh really? Jeeze... well I got it off a site, dear, so blame them! *snickers*

lol MOOHAHHA:lol:

Originally posted by Kay Scarpetta

'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead' -Traditional Gaelic toast

my grandfather used to say that all the time, i love it.



:lol: these are all great!

I couldn't drink another thing...Ah, who the Hell am I kidding?"

- My roommate at last call, 3:45 this morning

:lol:

Originally posted by TJL
I couldn't drink another thing...Ah, who the Hell am I kidding?"

- My roommate at last call, 3:45 this morning

:lol:

LOL!

Reasons why a beer is better than a woman:

You can enjoy a beer any time of the month.
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to wine and dine beer.
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.
Beer is never late.
Hangovers go away.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer on your breath.
A beer will never scrape you with its teeth.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
A beer always goes down easy.
Beer is always wet.
You can have a beer in public.
A frigid beer is a good beer.
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
Beer doesn't want to talk when you're tired.
A beer won't mind if you want a beer in the morning.
Beer doesn't have parents.
A beer won't leave you for another, richer beer.
Who cares what a beer looks like?
It's not embarrassing to be seen with a huge beer.
Beer doesn't care if you don't do housework.
You never have to feed a beer's ego.

(the one in bold is my favorite! :lol: )

And, just so I'm not accused of sexism -
Reasons why a beer is better than a man:

A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
If a beer had a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
A beer doesn't sulk.
A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
A beer won't switch the TV channel.
A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
A beer doesn't snore.
A beer can't interrupt.
A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
A beer doesn't belch. Or fart.
A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
A good beer is easy to find.
A beer can't pout.
A beer doesn't have a mother.
A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
A beer doesn't want children.
A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
Hangovers go away.
A beer tastes good.
Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
A beer never needs a shave.
Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you
have to sleep with a beer too.
A beer doesn't have morning breath.
A beer will never drink the last beer.
A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
A beer will never complain about your cooking.
A cold beer is a good beer.
A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
A big, fat beer is nice to have.
A beer won't steal the covers.
You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.

"You get drunk on Sam Adams....I get drunk on Tabasco"-Me

(I'm actually drinking some Frank's Red Hot as we speak! LOL!)

Originally posted by Sitcomwriter
"You get drunk on Sam Adams....I get drunk on Tabasco"-Me

(I'm actually drinking some Frank's Red Hot as we speak! LOL!)

That's sick.

Originally posted by Dr. Lu Delgado


That's sick.

:barf:

Er.....old post alert.

And I still don't have any beer quotes to contribute.