Did you mess with the reverse peephole, Jerry?

Hey, what is that up that tree? Man, that looks like a dead _____.

Hey, what is that up that tree? Man, that looks like a dead s low witted bald man

Kramer, you're fighting______?

Kramer, you're fighting Andrea Doria?

I'm Mrs. Ricardi, president of the ________ association.

I'm Mrs. Ricardi, president of the cockeyed optimist association.

Here's your ________omelette

Here's your big salad omelette.

Hey, wanna get some lunch? Just had a big bowl of ____.

Hey, wanna get some lunch? Just had a big bowl of Yankee beans.

That's it. You're going _______

That's it. You're going to The Merv Griffin Show.

Doctor, is the _______ going to live? There's been massive trauma.

Doctor, is the whale going to live? There's been massive trauma.

This is the most public yet of my many__________

This is the most public yet of my many little kicks.

I'd much rather get hit by an 80-pound air conditioner than a two-ton ______.

I'd much rather get hit by an 80-pound air conditioner than a two-ton caboose.

Are your friends as ______ as you?

Are your friends as bizarro as you?

He says hello when he leaves, _______ when he arrives.

He says hello when he leaves,Goodbye Norman when he arrives.

I don't like __________ He is an agitator.

I don't like the pool guy. He is an agitator.

You know what word Susan used last night? "_____."

You know what word Susan used last night? Pez!

He thinks he can _____more than Izzy.

He thinks he can face paint more than Izzy.

I looked everywhere but all I could find were these stupid _______ wrappers.

I looked everywhere but all I could find were these stupid Kosher meal wrappers

No, you see? You got _______

No, you see? You got the non-fat yogurt.


Mr. Dalrymple, I have to talk to you. It's about the ______.

Mr. Dalrymple, I have to talk to you. It's about the Kosher meal

this whole ________is against me!

This whole diplomat's club is against me!

You take ___ out of this relationship, it is just torture.

You take medieval sexual payola out of this relationship, its just torture

_______on a love newton

Newman on a love newton.

You want to know if your _______ was bosomy?

You want to know if your father was bosomy

No more ______for you. Next!

No more Twix candy bars for you! NEXT!

First of all, it wasn't a Twix. It was a _________ bar.

First of all, it wasn't a Twix. It was a Bosco bar.

a pack of __________ in a convertible were terrorizing us

A pack of English patients in a convertible were terrorizing us.


It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtze in search of ________.

It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtze in search of a cure for baldness

I need a nonpartisan ________

I need a nonpartisan bookstore.

You know, I once knew a ______ named Rusty.

You know, I once knew a Proctologist named Rusty

I poured that ______ on his head

I poured that five cups of chopped porcini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, and three pounds of celery on his head.


He's moving out of the country! Moving to _______!

He's moving out of the country! Moving to the Fortress of Solitude.

But suddenly, a new ___________ has emerged.

But suddenly, a new slicer has emerged.

Your whole building smells like ______.

Your whole building smells like halibut omelette

No, you see? You got _______

No, you see? You got Babu's visa application mixed in with Jerry's mail.

As I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my ________, somebody pulls me from behind.

As I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my bodega, somebody pulls me from behind.

Do it in the _________

Do it in the Mom and Pop store.

You like the idea of telling people you're driving ______'s car.

You like the idea of telling people you're driving Bob Saccamano's car.

Oh my god, you had ______ how did that happen?

Oh my god, you had non-fat yogurt, how did that happen?

The plane crashes, everybody in _______ is gonna die anyway.

The plane crashes, everybody in the Frogger is gonna die anyway.

I have forty pairs of_________

I have forty pairs of Botticelli shoes.

We pitched this story to Russell Dalrymple, the president of NBC, and he ate it up with a _____.

We pitched this story to Russell Dalrymple, the president of NBC, and he ate it up with a Pez dispenser

It's the next best thing to being________

It's the next best thing to being in a civilized way.

Tatiana, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I think it would be best if I _____.

Went to sleep........

Then he asked her if she would______________

Then he asked her if she would sweep!

You know, we're living in a ________

You know, we're living in a Diplomat's Club.

You meet a proctologist at a party, don't ________.

You meet a proctologist at a party, don't show anything and everything.

It was the pride of_______

It was the pride of the Hamptons.

She ran out of the building and a _________ ran over her foot.

She ran out of the building and a rickshaw ran over her foot

What was it like having sex with_________

What was it like having sex with Jack Klompus?

Him and his buxom little friend, Rachel were going at it pretty good in the ________.

Dusingham...

What are you gonna do tommorow?

What are you gonna do tommorow? NOTHING!

That's a pretty big _________hanging out there.

That's a pretty big salad hanging out there.

Oh, I know the chunky that left these ________.

Oh, I know the chunky that left these Babs Kramer

They weren't counting on this _______

They weren't counting on this mechanic stealing his candy bar.

Excuse me. I believe you just ate my _______.

Chalk......

Hey Mr Seinfeld,come sit down and _____________

Hey Mr Seinfeld,come sit down and puddle on my sofa

You're bumping me from_______

You're bumping me from the Diplomat's Club.

Oh, Queensboro Plaza. This stop is famous for its _____, you want one?

Oh, Queensboro Plaza. This stop is famous for its drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees, you want one

No, you see? You got ________

No, you see? You got the apple pie.

Al Nechy called me today. I bumped into him on the ______.

Al Nechy called me today. I bumped into him on the prison in Turkey,

So your not lurching around like a________

So you're not lurching around like a cigar store Indian.

No, I'm sorry. These are taken. They're in the lobby buying _______.

No, I'm sorry. These are taken. They're in the lobby buying Juicy Fruit

The ______ conveys that solemn religious look you want in a faith

The Van Buren Boys convey that solemn religious look you want in a faith.

What do I have to do to put you in this ______ today?

What do I have to do to put you in this tractor today?

I think I'm very ______worthy.

I think I'm very mango worthy.

Popcorn? Where do you think you are? A lot of people keep popcorn in the ______.

Popcorn? Where do you think you are? A lot of people keep popcorn in the Blood Bank!

They weren't counting on this_______

They weren't counting on this Chinese woman.

I don't trust men in ______.

I don't trust men in boxers

They weren't counting on this_______

They weren't counting on this Fusilli Jerry.

Hey, this is the kind of room Sinatra stays in. Hey, look, ______ nuts.

Hey, this is the kind of room Sinatra stays in. Hey, look, Hazel nuts.

Well, I don't know who you are, but thanks for the _______

Well, I don't know who you are, but thanks for the rat hat.

What's the deal with Aquaman? Could he go on the land, or was he just restricted to ______?

What's the deal with Aquaman? Could he go on the land, or was he just restricted to the pool?

Can I offer you some________?

Can I offer you some muffin tops?

When do you start to worry about ear hair? When you hear __________.

When do you start to worry about ear hair? When you hear the cookie crunch

Why do we have to act like we're_______?

Why do we have to act like we're at a baby shower?

Kramer invites Jerry, Elaine and George into his apartment to watch ___________.

Kramer invites Jerry, Elaine and George into his apartment to watch Astonishing Tales of Costanza

She was _________, by Jerry, Seinfeld!

She was butter shaved by Jerry Seinfeld!

Well, we were having dinner, and she's got the strangest habit. She eats her ______ one at a time.

Well, we were having dinner, and she's got the strangest habit. She eats her cantaloupe one a time

What have you done to my little _____boy?

What have you done to my little fusilli boy?

This _________ has gone flat.

This Bosco has gone flat.

Save the ______, George... for me.

Save the big salad, George, for me.

12 in-room movies, including several adult features, five shoeshines and $400 worth of _______

12 in-room movies, including several adult features, five shoeshines and $400 worth of Kasha Varnishkas

Doctor Zeng Zau.has discovered a cure for________

Doctor Zeng Zau has discovered a cure for pimples.

I haven't had a decent ________ in thirteen years.

I haven't had a decent cantaloupe in thirteen years.my friend,

________,that's what happened to me

Sweatpants, my friend, that's what happened to me.

You know, Newman, the thing about fleas is that they irritate the skin and they start to _______.

You know, Newman, the thing about fleas is that they irritate the skin and they start to puke

It's a festivus _______

It's a Festivus Pez Dispenser.

Silvio ambushes Joe from inside his room with a sock full of ________.

Silvio ambushes Joe from inside his room with a sock full of Kryptonite

Look at the cute little ________

Look at the cute little pony.

When I was a little girl in Poland we all had ______.

When I was a little girl in Poland we all had Tractors

It was the pride of________

It was the pride of the Polar Bear Club.

I got two extra tickets. You and ______ could go.

I got two extra tickets. You and Joe Davola could go.

You're a quirk or two away from full-on ________

You're a quirk or two away from full-on heart attack.

They refuse to put ________ in the salad. I need ________.

They refuse to put sushi in the salad. I need sushi

Elaine, you have to ______ with me!

Elaine, you have to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's with me!

The offices of Brandt-Leland have the best ________ in midtown.

The offices of Brandt-Leland have the best Frogger in midtown.

The man's a _______

The man's a snuggly baby.

_____ in a tub doesn't work.

transvestite parties in a tub doesn't work.

Jimmy's got some new_______

Jimmy's got some new blood.

Grandpa clothes. I can't ______ them.

Grandpa clothes. I can't fumigate them

Jimmy's got some new_______

Jimmy's got some new Clapco D29 locks.

Looks like your belt is digesting a small _______.

Looks like your belt is digesting a small whale

Come on; weave your ______, liar man.

Come on; weave your BO and cologne, liar man.

Jerry likes Morning _________.

Jerry likes Morning pee party

Why don't you bring in an extra ____ too?

Why don't you bring in an extra busboy too?

This is very exciting. Very exciting. It’s like watching a ______.

This is very exciting. Very exciting. It’s like watching a career day

It's the next best thing to being ________

It's the next best thing to being a hipster doofus.

It's not like we stuck a _______ in her spokes and she went flying.

It's not like we stuck a umbrella in her spokes and she went flying.

My guys don't know your _________

My guys don't know your secret code.

I don't know how you guys walk around with those ______.

I don't know how you guys walk around with those European carry all's

You're a tough ______

You're a tough bubble boy.

What, are you getting to be too much of a big shot now to give me a _______?

What, are you getting to be too much of a big shot now to give me a restraining order

I just crack my _______

I just crack my mangoes.

Thousands of years, people have tried to have their _____ and eat it too.

Thousands of years, people have tried to have their apple pie and eat it too.

What, you thought I was ______?

What, you thought I was Jon Voight the actor?

Come on, it's $182 there. I don't think that's anything to ________ at.

Come on, it's $182 there. I don't think that's anything to puke at

George was somewhat of a________

George was somewhat of a high talker.

Lippman really respects your _______.

Lippman really respects your muffin tops!

Books what do you need them for after you've ____ them

Books, what do you need them for after you've butter shaved them?

Diane DeConn remembered my _______.

Diane DeConn remembered my shrinkage

Oh, you don't______

Oh, you don't seem angry like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great _____ appeared before me.

I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great giant freak-head. appeared before me

I have forty pairs of ________

I have forty pairs of big salads.

Gendason. What a jerk. I'm never playing _____ with him again.

Gendason. What a jerk. I'm never playing Frogger with him again.

To a woman, sex is like the ________ man.

To a woman, sex is like the soup man.

An attendant at Jiffy Park may be utilizing George's car as a ______.

An attendant at Jiffy Park may be utilizing George's car as a library

Oh, you don't______

Oh, you don't have cheese, pepperoni, eggplant in this thing?


Costanza, go get me a couple of _______ right now.

Costanza, go get me a couple of Kasha Varnishkas right now.

George was somewhat of a _________

George was somewhat of a rubber fire.

Costanza, how come these clothes smell like _________?

Costanza, how come these clothes smell like the East River?

You know, that's a ______

You know, that's a car stolen by a psychotic auto mechanic.

I'm supposed to meet him to pick up your ______.

I'm supposed to meet him to pick up your giant freak-head.

You're not having any of your _______ parties

You're not having any of your baby shower parties.


Oh, and she's on-stage cooking dinner for some celebrity? She's cooking dinner for _____.

Oh, and she's on-stage cooking dinner for some celebrity? She's cooking dinner for Steinbrenner!

Well _________ this is your lucky day

Well, Chinese Woman, this is your lucky day.

I've never seen him in _______ before. It's weird. It's so out of context.

I've never seen him in Fortress of Solitude before, It's weird. It's so out of context.

Jimmy's jumping for______

Jimmy's jumping for the kiss hello.

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've _______.

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've had Yankee beans

What, you thought I was ______

What, you thought I was the lip reader?

Jerry tries to buy his _______ back from Uncle Leo, who found it in the garbage.

Jerry tries to buy his calzone back from Uncle Leo, who found it in the garbage

That's it. You're going______

That's it. You're going to be a doorman.

I had to drive my ______ to the chiropodist.

I had to drive my squirrel to the chiropodist

_______my friend, that's what happened to me

Drake's Coffee Cake for 50 cents, my friend, that's what happened to me.

My brother once impregnated a woman named _______.

My brother once impregnated a woman named Dolores

To be polite? You are _______

To be polite? You are the soul mate.

I'm engaged to this woman? She doesn't even ______ me.

I'm engaged to this woman? She doesn't even admire me.

I kinda snuck up behind him at the________

I kinda snuck up behind him at the pledge drive.


Just wanted you to know that your checking account is __________.

Just wanted you to know that your checking account is in the toilet

You can't have sex with someone you________

You can't have sex with someone you gave a big job promotion to.

You're nothing! You have no brains, no _______, nothing!

You're nothing! You have no brains, no tattoo , nothing

Next Stop_______

Next Stop Mom & Pop

Mom and Pop can't afford to bring the electrical installation up to code, so they _________.

Mom and Pop can't afford to bring the electrical installation up to code, so they sold Jerry's sneakers

I've.. been reviewing your _____.. Quite frankly, it stinks.

I've.. been reviewing your Cheever letter.. Quite frankly, it stinks.

George, did you talk to that guy about getting more _________?

George, did you talk to that guy about getting more underwear?

There's your answer._______

There's your answer. The Jimmy.

Elaine asks Jimmy to go to the benefit for ______________.

Elaine asks Jimmy to go to the benefit for ponies.

On this issue there is no______

On this issue there is no yada yada.

Well, I ran out onto the court and threw a hot ____ at Reggie Miller.

Well, I ran out onto the court and threw a hot dog at Reggie

Who wouldn't love a_______

Who wouldn't love a Titleist?

I hate the big brokerage houses. Hate them with a passion. Big brokerage houses
killed my _______.

I hate the big brokerage houses. Hate them with a passion. Big brokerage houses
killed my parakeet

Why do we have to act like we're________?

Why do we have to act like we're in a lesbian wedding?

Loves it. Eats it up. Eats the slop. Born to slop. His father was a ______.

Loves it. Eats it up. Eats the slop. Born to slop. His father was a commando.

_______? That's a funny word.

Slop? That's a funny word?

I'm so tired. I'm gonna fall asleep on that _____.

I'm so tired. I'm gonna fall asleep on that toilet tank

Jerry I've been called _______

Jerry, I've been called Biff Loman.

Don't whistle on the elevator. - Why not? - That's what ______ told Biff before his interview in Death of a Salesman.

Don't whistle on the elevator. - Why not? - That's what Kruger told Biff before his interview in Death of a Salesman

Maybe I put it out in your _______

Maybe I put it out in your hot tub.

When women smile at me, I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it
like they're _________.

When women smile at me, I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it
like they're egocentric.

The only thing I watch is________

The only thing I watch is ALF.

I'm guessing you're not a "half-grapefruit and _____ coffee" man.

I'm guessing you're not a "half-grapefruit and Bosco coffee" man

It's the next best thing to being ______

It's the next best thing to being a Bubble Boy.

I can't carry ______ in these pants. It falls out.

I can't carry soup in these pants. It falls out

When do I get my 15 ______

When do I get my 15 minutes with the Soup Nazi?

When I was a kid, all I ever dreamed of was steering the back of that big ________.

When I was a kid, all I ever dreamed of was steering the back of that big rickshaw

Didlin the maid, and chewin some _____

Didlin' the maid, and chewin' some cinnamon babka

He's a clown whose wife is _______ to him.

He's a clown whose wife is blacklisted from him

What was it like having sex with ________?

What was it like having sex with that clown from the Sixties?

You're hung up on some ______ from the Sixties!

You're hung up on some loser from the Sixties

You're bumping me from _______ day

You're bumping me from Pie Day.

Mannequins are only used for car accidents and _______.

Mannequins are only used for car accidents and Porn stars

Hey what _____in here?

Hey, what did the busboy do in here?

You think Shelly's upset that I made a big deal about the ______?

You think Shelly's upset that I made a big deal about the pee party?

Don't make me _____ you, Jerry.

Don't make me butter shave you, Jerry.

These ______ are making me thirsty.

These Yankee beans are making me thirsty.

Am I _______ to you, Pinhead? Am I?

Am I a Fred Yerkes to you, Pinhead? Am I?

This guy, Fred Yerkes, remembers every little thing about _______ except me.

Every word.....

The thing I like about these WRONG ANSWER threads is ya dont have to have seen the show to make an entry..


Fred likes going to ____________ everyday.......

Fred likes going to Downtown everyday.

So what? Your _______ are still lined up.

So what? Your levels are still lined up.

George loses his _______ at the health club.

George loses his serenity at the health club.

Dashing and romantic ______ sympathizers

Dashing and romantic Bermuda Triangle sympathizers.

This isn't Plans 1-8 from Outer Space. This is Plan ___.

This isn't Plans 1-8 from Outer Space. This is Plan Festivus

I don't like Mr. Newman. He is an_______

I don't like Mr. Newman. He is an understudy.

I don't take my _____ off for anyone.

I don't take my Detox Poncho off for anyone.

You're not having any of your _________ parties?

You're not having any of your Jimmy Sherman parties?

I can get your _____ back by tomorrow morning.

I can get your hair hat back by tomorrow morning.

Well, I guess I've been ________. I'll see you all later.

Well, I guess I've been bumped from Kiss Hello Day. I'll see you all later.

You gave my ______ to Horneck?

You gave my hair hat to Horneck?

Oh my god, you had ______ how did that happen?

Oh my god, you had the apple pie? How did that happen?

Gonna need a little more ______ here.

Gonna need a little more Bosco here!

I thought, you know, I was gonna kinda' be like the _______

I thought, you know, I was gonna kinda' be like Miss Connecticut.

Doubleday is looking for somebody to replace _______________.

Doubleday is looking for somebody to replace Farfel

You're bumping me from _______day?

You're bumping me from Dogs on a Plane Day?


They drink and they bend things at the ____.

They drink and they bend things at the Mom and Pop store

A ______ran into my giant freak-head.

A squirrel ran into my giant freak-head.

It took me three days of _______ to get her to agree to see me again.

It took me three days of voodoo rattle torture to get her to agree to see me again.

________might be dying

Reggie might be dying.

And I got a date with that _______ who works at Reggie's.

And I got a date with that Witchy Woman.who works at Reggie's.

Save the _______ George... for me.

Save the apple pie George... for me.

She lives right off Riverside Park. I was scared of the ______.

I am such a lives right off Riverside Park. I was scared of the denogginizer!

I am such a________

I am such a low talker.

I was watching Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo and l wanted to get some ______.

I was watching Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo and l wanted to get some gum

Blacklisted from______

Blacklisted from the mom and pop store

Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big _____ to Elaine?

Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big matzoh ball to Elaine?

All aboard for The ____ train

All aboard for The Kiss Hello train

Why do I get ______? Why do I think I'll like it?

Why do I get Twix? Why do I think I'll like it?

He's a real ______

He's a real dingo.

Maybe a ____ ate your baby.

Maybe a transvestite ate your baby.

an open-door ______ policy,

an open-door Krakatoa policy

You come barging in here, asking me to contribute money to a volcano relief fund
for ________.

You come barging in here, asking me to contribute money to a volcano relief fund
for the Fortress of Solitude

I couldn't feel my ________

I couldn't feel my new husband, Arnie.

We just picked up two women at _______.

We just picked up two women at the Mom and Pop store'

I couldn't feel my ______

I couldn't feel my pinky toe.

I think this Father Curtis might be very interested to hear what Whatley has _____ doing with Raquel Welch.

I think this Father Curtis might be very interested to hear what Watley has Izzy Mandelbaum doing with Raquel Welch

_______was going crazy

Mendy was going crazy.

I'm looking right at you, big ______.

I'm looking right at you, Big Stein

The perfect man -- nothing but sex and _________.

The perfect man -- nothing but sex and apple pie.

You know, I got a great idea for a cologne. It's called "_________."

You know, I got a great idea for a cologne. It's called halibut

Kramer, you're fighting _______

Kramer, you're fighting the doorman.

Elaine is in my ____________ class.

Elaine is in my heightening. class

Are they gonna do a _______ job?

Are they gonna do a muffin top job?

There's enough juice here to keep us all fat and _______.

There's enough juice here to keep us all fat and breathtaking

it'll just be the three ________

It'll just be the three great parking spots.

Maybe the baby would like to see the _____.

Maybe the baby would like to see the bubble boy!

There's Ray, _____ as usual

There's Ray, enthusiastic as usual.

How can you call yourself a ______ and not know who Bozo is?

How can you call yourself a Princess not know who Bozo is

That's it. You're going _____

That's it. You're going from Bensonhurst to Sheepshead Bay.

I'll buy you a popcorn and soda and I'll throw in a ________.

I'll buy you a popcorn and soda and I'll throw in a Juicy Fruit

You're not having any of your __________ parties

You're not having any of your baby shower parties.

She asked me to give her a baby _______.

She asked me to give her a baby Monkey

The many ______ of Costanza

The many Pez dispensers of Costanza

Kramer joins the Polar Bear ______.

Kramer joins the Polar Bear Zoo

Yeah you make good ______

Yeah you make good chocolate babka.

Jerry eats a black and white _______.

Jerry eats a black and white Police car

You know, we're living in a_______

You know, we're living in a pair of cotton Dockers.

Why do I buy tan ______, Donna?

Why do I buy tan Babka's Donna?

You told _____ to drop dead?!

You told Izzy Mandelbaum Jr. to drop dead?!

George's girlfriend Tara's _______-scented incense makes him hungry.

George's girlfriend Tara's Pizza scented incense makes him hungry.

Wheels on the ____ go round and round

Wheels on the hipster doofus's car go round and round.

Gino, you've outdone yourself this time. This is the best _____ I've ever had.

Gino, you've outdone yourself this time. This is the best Halibut I've ever had.

Your the big _____

You're the big Commando 8.

Remember when I _____ you at Dinky Doughnuts?

Remember when I cockeyed you at Dinky Doughnuts?

I gave you ________ because I thought you'd have fun
with it.