Frank Gannucci
04-15-2023, 07:22 AM
An Honeymooners Income Tax Day:
(Ralph meets Ed at his manhole.)
Ralph: “Hello Norton! I know that you filed your taxes traditionally.”
Ed: “Yeah I had to since I don’t have a computer yet. My other one got damaged by you.”
Ralph: “Don’t worry Norton. I’ll buy you a new one. The computer will be a Commodore 64.”
(Crowd laughs loudly due to the fact that the Commodore 64 is a 40 plus year old computer.)
Ralph: “I’m going to the IRS now. I am going to catch the bus.”
Ed: “Me too.”
(They both get on the bus. The bus leaves. For whatever reason, Ralph has his taxes in his hand that is out the window.)
Ralph: “I’m so used to have my left hand out the window while driving, I decided to do it now. Hahaha.”
Ed (slapping Ralph on the back which causes him to drop his taxes on the street): “You are a bundle of fun Ralph.”
(Ed noticed what happened.)
Ed: “Ralph, you are dead meat.”
Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE! YOU CAUSED ME TO DROP THE TAXES.”
Ed (yells): “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?”
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME GET THE TAXES. DRIVER! STOP! I DROPPED MY TAXES OUT THE WINDOW.”
(Everyone laughs. The driver stops.)
Ralph (to passengers): “Wiseguys.”
(Ralph & Ed get off.)
(They go into traffic to get the taxes. Cars are honking. They almost get hit.)
Ed: “Ralph, this is like the video game we play in the sewer, Frogger.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”
(They run around to get the taxes. A man with a trash bag picks them up and dumps them in the sewer.)
Ed: “Ralph, get ready to float.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON! YOU BETTER SWIM OR I WILL SEND YOU TO THE MOON.”
(Later on, they finally get the taxes and get to the IRS at 11:59:50p.)
IRS: “Just in time. You beat the clock. But why, are these taxes so wet and dirty?”
Ed: “You see, my pal Ralph-ie had his taxes hanging out the window and dropped them and they ended up in the trash and then in the sewer. Since I work in the sewer, I helped him out.”
IRS: “You Ralph must be very stupid to hang your taxes out the window.”
(Everyone laughs especially Ed.)
Ralph: “Norton, you better start running.”
(Ralph runs after Ed.)
(Jackie walks on stage.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph (yells
(Ralph meets Ed at his manhole.)
Ralph: “Hello Norton! I know that you filed your taxes traditionally.”
Ed: “Yeah I had to since I don’t have a computer yet. My other one got damaged by you.”
Ralph: “Don’t worry Norton. I’ll buy you a new one. The computer will be a Commodore 64.”
(Crowd laughs loudly due to the fact that the Commodore 64 is a 40 plus year old computer.)
Ralph: “I’m going to the IRS now. I am going to catch the bus.”
Ed: “Me too.”
(They both get on the bus. The bus leaves. For whatever reason, Ralph has his taxes in his hand that is out the window.)
Ralph: “I’m so used to have my left hand out the window while driving, I decided to do it now. Hahaha.”
Ed (slapping Ralph on the back which causes him to drop his taxes on the street): “You are a bundle of fun Ralph.”
(Ed noticed what happened.)
Ed: “Ralph, you are dead meat.”
Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE! YOU CAUSED ME TO DROP THE TAXES.”
Ed (yells): “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?”
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME GET THE TAXES. DRIVER! STOP! I DROPPED MY TAXES OUT THE WINDOW.”
(Everyone laughs. The driver stops.)
Ralph (to passengers): “Wiseguys.”
(Ralph & Ed get off.)
(They go into traffic to get the taxes. Cars are honking. They almost get hit.)
Ed: “Ralph, this is like the video game we play in the sewer, Frogger.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”
(They run around to get the taxes. A man with a trash bag picks them up and dumps them in the sewer.)
Ed: “Ralph, get ready to float.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON! YOU BETTER SWIM OR I WILL SEND YOU TO THE MOON.”
(Later on, they finally get the taxes and get to the IRS at 11:59:50p.)
IRS: “Just in time. You beat the clock. But why, are these taxes so wet and dirty?”
Ed: “You see, my pal Ralph-ie had his taxes hanging out the window and dropped them and they ended up in the trash and then in the sewer. Since I work in the sewer, I helped him out.”
IRS: “You Ralph must be very stupid to hang your taxes out the window.”
(Everyone laughs especially Ed.)
Ralph: “Norton, you better start running.”
(Ralph runs after Ed.)
(Jackie walks on stage.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph (yells