If you know any good jokes can you post em'



West

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch


two peanuts walking down the street--one was assulted


why was tigger looking in the tolit?
he was trying to find Pooh


what has 75 balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo



I have some prist jokes but they may be to henious to say

Click me! (http://www.jokes.com)

One day there were three girl best friends who all got married on the same day and rented rooms next to each other in the same hotel with their husbands for their honeymoons. That night, the cleaning lady came. She walked past the first girl's room and heard the girl say OW! She walked past he second girl's room and her the girl laughing. She walked past the third girl's room and didn't hear anything at all.

THE NEXT MORNING......
The next morning the cleaning lady saw the three girls and their husbands at the hotel's restauant eating breakfast. She went up to the first girl and asked her"why did you saw owww yesterday?" And the first girl replied "it hurt." The cleaning lady asked the second girl why she was laughing. The second girl said "it tickled." Then came the third girl. The cleaning lady asked her "Hey...i didn't hear anything from you at all!" And the third girl replied "my mother always told me to never talk with my mouth full."

:wave:

There once was a scientist who was doing an experiment on a frog. He told the frog, "Jump." The frog jumped 4 feet. The scientist wrote down in his book, "A frog with 4 legs jumps 4 feet."

He cut off one leg of the frog and told it "Jump." The frog jumped 3 feet. The scientist wrote down in his book, "A frog with 3 -- 3 feet."

The scientist cut off another leg of the frog and told it, "Jump." and the frog jumped 2 feet. The scientist wrote, "A frog with 2 legs -- 2 feet."

He cut off yet another leg, and told it to jump. The frog jumped 1 foot. The scientist of course writes down, "A frog with 1 leg -- one foot."

He cut off the last leg and told the frog to jump again. The frog stood still. "Jump," demanded the scientist more firmly. The frog did nothing. "JUMP!!" Still nothing. So the scientist wrote down in his book, "A frog with no feet -- deaf."


That was my joke, lol. If it didn't strike you as funny, sorry, but some people I tell find it hilarious but others just look at me oddly like "Okayyyyyyy..."

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Where you left it! hahahahhahahahahahaa

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

cuz it had no guts! hahahahahahahahahaha

no

Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

hehehe

Originally posted by Shane West's Angel
One day there were three girl best friends who all got married on the same day and rented rooms next to each other in the same hotel with their husbands for their honeymoons. That night, the cleaning lady came. She walked past the first girl's room and heard the girl say OW! She walked past he second girl's room and her the girl laughing. She walked past the third girl's room and didn't hear anything at all.

THE NEXT MORNING......
The next morning the cleaning lady saw the three girls and their husbands at the hotel's restauant eating breakfast. She went up to the first girl and asked her"why did you saw owww yesterday?" And the first girl replied "it hurt." The cleaning lady asked the second girl why she was laughing. The second girl said "it tickled." Then came the third girl. The cleaning lady asked her "Hey...i didn't hear anything from you at all!" And the third girl replied "my mother always told me to never talk with my mouth full."

:wave:

:rotflmao: that's funny!!!!! :D

what's the difference between a hooker and bungee jumpiing???

























Nothing...there both an expensive, one time experience, and if the rubber breaks...your dead!!

amanda that was greaT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...cross the road?

pontoon :cool:

A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head and the bartender says "Hey, where'd you get that?"

The frog says "It just started out as a little bump on my butt."

the 'Shell' station! :lol:

pontoon :cool:

Originally posted by pontoon
...cross the road?

pontoon :cool:
Ur avatars scary.

And YES...he is a little creepy! :lol:

pontoon :cool:

why can't barbie get pregnant?
cos ken only comes in a box


whats the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
a frog says "ribbit ribbit" and a horny toad says "rubbit rubbit"


how many animals are there in a pair of panty hoes?
a *****, a thousand hares and a dead fish nobody can find

***** = p.u.s.s.y.

Originally posted by pontoon
And YES...he is a little creepy! :lol:

pontoon :cool:

He kind of reminds me of that episode of the Twilight Zone called 'The Dummy'. Have you seen that episode Pontoon? It has Cliff Robertson and Frank Sutton in it.

That WAS an awesome episode! And he DOES look a little like that creepy little dummy! :lol: What was his name? Good trivia question, huh? I'll bet you know Jenny!

But NOBODY around here seems to remember the 'World Famous Rudy & GoGo Cartoon Show'! 'GoGo' was a goat! :D COOL show...didn't last long at all!

pontoon :cool:

Q. What do older women and dog duty have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up

What did the waiter say to the Dell computer guy when he ordered a pickle?
Dude, you're getting a dill


What do you call a pen with urine in it?
A shar-pee!!

Originally posted by pontoon
That WAS an awesome episode! And he DOES look a little like that creepy little dummy! :lol: What was his name? Good trivia question, huh? I'll bet you know Jenny!

But NOBODY around here seems to remember the 'World Famous Rudy & GoGo Cartoon Show'! 'GoGo' was a goat! :D COOL show...didn't last long at all!

pontoon :cool:

At first, I was going to say his name was Jerry but then I remembered that was Cliff's character name. The first dummy's name was Willy, I think. The second dummy, I don't think they gave a name for it.

Scary that I know one of the dummies names though. lol

Originally posted by richpotsralphfonz



What do you call a pen with urine in it?
A shar-pee!! Kinda off topic, but...

Sharpies are the greatest! I have them in every color: red, orange, yellow, red, blue, black, pink, brown, you name it! In every point: fine, extra fine point, ultra fine point, LOL. I use them all the time as often as possible and on all my artworks. However, I tend not to bring them to school 'cause the teacher would think I'm trying to graffite the bathroom walls or something, :lol:. In fact, I think I had a pack of Sharpies before a pack of Crayola! :eek:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
Kinda off topic, but...

Sharpies are the greatest! I have them in every color: red, orange, yellow, red, blue, black, pink, brown, you name it! In every point: fine, extra fine point, ultra fine point, LOL. I use them all the time as often as possible and on all my artworks. However, I tend not to bring them to school 'cause the teacher would think I'm trying to graffite the bathroom walls or something, :lol:. In fact, I think I had a pack of Sharpies before a pack of Crayola! :eek:
LOL Jenny, I love Sharpies too!!!! They're awesome...and I love the way they smell, lol.