LOL I just got this in an e-mail and I can say that these are some of the worst pick-up lines I've heard, LOL!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

HORRIBLE PICK UP LINES!

(1) I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
(2) Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
(3) I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
(4) Your tag says Made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven.
(5) Hey lady, those are some nice clothes, can I talk you out of them?
(6) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
(7) Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb!
(8) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
(9) Your parents must be ********, because you are special.
(10) Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me.
(11) If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
(12) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

nvm...

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo
(8) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.


:eek3:

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo
(10) Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me.


OMG! :rotflmao:

Chris, those are horrible!

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo


(10) Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me.


LMAO :lol:

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl


OMG! :rotflmao:

Chris, those are horrible!

Tell me about it! That's what I thought when I frist read it. So I decided to share it with all of you. LOL :D

Here's my favourite:

"That dress looks great on you......but it'd look even better on my bedroom floor!"

I've never actually used that one but I expect that the best thing I could expect from it would be a slap in the face! :lol:

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo

(10) Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me.



:grineyes: Sick minds

One of my personal favoites:

Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

:lol:

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo
I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

that's my fav. lol.

:lol: those are awful!!

heres some of my favorites...

~Excuse me, are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
~It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
~Are we related? Do you want to be?
~Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
~I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
~I have only three months to live...
~Her: You look like my third husband.
Him: Oh, how many time have you been married?
Her: Twice.

:rotflmao: I got all those in an e-mail before..

i need to use a few of those

Originally posted by tootieismyfav
i need to use a few of those

:rolleyes: if you used them on me I'd slap you. I dunno about your "new" girl though.

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo

(10) Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me.



Wow that reminds me of Kristen....*hacks* nevermind. LOL.

I got some ;)

1- You smell better than fresh sod.
2- I once sucked on a crayola marker.
3- You have nice nostrils.
4- You're hotter that a penguin on a Texas parking lot.

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl


:rolleyes: if you used them on me I'd slap you. I dunno about your "new" girl though.

LOL i might use them on you just to get an "ummmmm NO!" for old times sake.

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo
(2) Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
(3) I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
(7) Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb!
(8) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

Those are funny, but I would never dare say any of them to anyone.

:lol: :p

My favorite is: Are your feet tired? Well youve been running through my mind all day

Here's some jokes I found on 800go.com

A man comes home from work to find his wife in
the bedroom, packing her suitcase.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm leavin' you for a better life," she replies.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asks.

"I'm going to Las Vegas," she answers. "I hear
they pay $400 for a blowjob there."

The man thinks for a minute, then gets his
suitcase out, and starts packing his clothes.

"What the hell are you doing?" his wife asks.

"I'm going to Las Vegas, too," he answers.
"I want to see how you live on $800 a year!"





A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine
she put in 50 cents and a coke came out. She set
it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 more
cents pushed the button and another coke came
out.

She kept doing this untill a guy standing behind
her said, " Excuse me, can I get my coke and then
you can go back to whatever you are doing?"

The blonde turns around and says, "Like duh not
when I am winning!! "



If the Beatles were Computer Geeks

Sing along...

Eleanor Rigby

Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line
on the screen.
Lives in a dream.
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the
machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users,
where do they all come from?
All the lonely users,
why does it take so long?

Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program
that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits
for the code to compile;
It takes a while...

All the lonely users,
where do they all come from?
All the lonely users,
why does it take so long?

Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system
and loses 6 hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the crumbs off the keys
as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.

All the lonely users,
where do they all come from?
All the lonely users,
why does it take so long?

I don't know, I don't know...
What sequence causes it to blow?
I don't know, I don't know...

Something in the initializing code?
And all I have to do is think of it!
Something in the listing will show me...
I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this tonight I vow!





One day a mailman drove up to a women's door to
pick up a huge parcel. The women asked the man
to come in and help her with the parcel, since
it is a HUGE one. She kept it in the backyard so
it likely wouldn't be stolen. As they entered the
backyard, the mailman had a In-Your-Face
encounter with some pants on a clothsline that
was hanging out to dry. He pulls the pant out of
the way with some aggresiveness. The women
exclaims 'Good lord! You just dirtied a perfectly
clean pant! I don't think you should be helping
me with this. It's fragile and I don't want you
to do the same thing. You should stay in the
garage with my dog Ass while I haul this out to
your delivery Van!' And so, the mailman goes into
the house to the garage to stay with Ass.

In the Garage, the dog grew scared of the
stranger, and bit him. The mailman winds up and
smacks the dog violently. The women see this and
tells him to stay in the living room if he can't
behave himself there.

The living room had a cat named *****. The cat
was pushed off the chair by the mailman, and the
cat scratched and scratched the mailman's uniform
like it was furniture. In a fury of anger, he
grabs the cat throat-first and pulls all the hair
off it. When the women went to the living room to
ask how much was the delivery, she saw her cat
completly skin and bone.
'Aaaaarrrrgggh! How dare you! I'm calling 911 to
sue your ass! Here's what it sounded like:
A man pulled my pants, slapped my ass and pulled
all the hairs off my *****!!!

(I know this one was bad, too. Sorry.)




Q. Why was the dumb blond stare at a carton of
orange juice?

A. because it said concentrate.

Originally posted by Dr. Lu Delgado



Wow that reminds me of Kristen....*hacks* nevermind. LOL.

I got some ;)

1- You smell better than fresh sod.
2- I once sucked on a crayola marker.
3- You have nice nostrils.
4- You're hotter that a penguin on a Texas parking lot.


HEHE I WAS GONNA PUT THAT EXACT SAME THING ( even the Kristen part)

This is my favorite...

Are you Campbells cuz you're mm mm good!

I heard that on Jenny Jones. :D

Originally posted by TibbyTibby2



HEHE I WAS GONNA PUT THAT EXACT SAME THING ( even the Kristen part)

:lol: Ahh memories. Kristen is a funny goose.

Originally posted by tootieismyfav


LOL i might use them on you just to get an "ummmmm NO!" for old times sake.

Cuz you love it when I "Ummmmm NO!" you! :lol:

Originally posted by Ricky Ricardo
Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me. :lol: Muwahahahahaha! :lol: Me thinks me likes this one! LOL... :lol:

And ah WeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeE!

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. (heard that one on Frasier)

How would you like to be my future ex-wife?

Originally posted by Plata


(I know this one was bad, too. Sorry.)



Oh gawd that was funny though :lol:

BUMP!

Here JP. Don't use any of these. Espeacially Number 8. :eek:

Here are my reviews of them and if they would actually work:

(1) I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
It would work if I was say Justin Timberlake.

(2) Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
That's not actually that bad.I could see it working on a few girls.

(3) I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
It would work on a few girls.

(4) Your tag says Made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven.

Again it could work on a few girls.
(5) Hey lady, those are some nice clothes, can I talk you out of them?
Yeah that one's bad.

(6) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
Once again pretty bad.

(7) Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb!
It could work if I was a 21 year old black guy not a 15 year old white guy.

(8) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Yeah a tip for the Macho Men types (Which I am not) If you want to use this one make sure she isn't eating.

(9) Your parents must be ********, because you are special.
I want to make her feel good not offended.

(10) Want to play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while You blow the hell out of me.
Well If I'm craving the taste of Pepper Spray then i'd use this one.

(11) If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
This one actually COULD work.

(12) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?
Once again it COULD work.

Honestly I'm not a pick-up line guy.I prefer to compliment her more so than use pick-ups since they seem to most often sound too desperate.

Originally posted by Sitcomwriter
(11) If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
This one actually COULD work.

Who'd want to called McBeautiful? :confused:

Originally posted by Plata
Here's some jokes I found on 800go.com

A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine
she put in 50 cents and a coke came out. She set
it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 more
cents pushed the button and another coke came
out.

She kept doing this untill a guy standing behind
her said, " Excuse me, can I get my coke and then
you can go back to whatever you are doing?"

The blonde turns around and says, "Like duh not
when I am winning!! "

That's really funny LOL:lol:

Originally posted by Original Prankster
And ah WeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeE!

;)

Hey guys! I'm the new guy here! Please reply! :p

Originally posted by Original Prankster


(1) I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?


That's how Jocelyn's "summer" boyfriend won her over... corny. She told me today in lunch and I was like, "Uh great. I've heard that one before." She's like, "WHAT? It's old? I just thought he was being corny." Lol. Nope, sorry to burst your bubble Joc.

Originally posted by Krystal Lake
Hey guys! I'm the new guy here! Please reply! :p

:lol:

Originally posted by Original Prankster

(7) Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb!


My exboyfriend used that one, AFTER we were going out. What an idiot! lol

Originally posted by Kay Scarpetta
:lol:

Care to explain? Lol....I'm so lost. Please don't laugh at me. :(

My favorite pick-up line comes from Potsie Weber.............."Hey Baby, Wanna get lucky?":lol:

Originally posted by Original Prankster
Care to explain? Lol....I'm so lost. Please don't laugh at me. :(

I get it... I think it has to do with the new guy who, every topic he posted got closed. That it?

I got some more! Just a few...

(1) If I told you that you had a nice body would you hold _IT_ against me?
(2) That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...
(3) Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
(4)You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book... So what's one more??
That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it?
(5)I love every bone in your body - especially mine
(6)If we are what we eat, I could be you by morning.

Yucka.

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl

If we are what we eat, I could be you by morning.


:rotflmao:

Originally posted by Penny Lane
My favorite pick-up line comes from Potsie Weber.............."Hey Baby, Wanna get lucky?":lol:


I LOVE THE EP. THAT QUOTE IS FROM Thats form ep. 32, thats my 2nd fav ep. from the 2nd season!!

My fva pikcup line, comes form Ralph Malph its.... I still got it! :lol:

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
(5)I love every bone in your body - especially mine
(6)If we are what we eat, I could be you by morning.

:rotflmao:

I hope you don't know those by experience.................Lol

Originally posted by Original Prankster
:rotflmao:

I hope you don't know those by experience.................Lol

Ha ha me neither lol

Originally posted by Original Prankster
:rotflmao:

I hope you don't know those by experience.................Lol

UGH! :rolleyes:

:lol: Shut up Chris!

Originally posted by Istillgotit
Ha ha me neither lol

:p

Originally posted by Mossopp
:rotflmao:

Sick eh? :lol:

MORE!!!::

(1)You better not go walking in the rain -- sugar melts, you know.
(2)Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
(3)Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
(4)Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.
(5)If I had a nickel for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
Does an angel like you get speeding tickets for flying so close to earth?
(6)My heater broke. Would you come back to my place and make it all hot and steamy?
(7)My feet are getting cold, 'cause you just knocked my socks off!
(8)Your name must be Pepsi, 'cause I've got to have it.
(9)Are your legs tired? 'cause you've been running through my mind all day.
(10)Call an ambulance, 'cause my heart just stopped when I saw you.
(11)Can I have your number? I've got 35 cents and nobody to call.
(12)Boy, you can kiss heaven goodbye because it's got to be a sin to look that good!
(13)I put a drop of tear in the ocean for you... and I'll stop loving you when you find that teardrop.
(14)God must be sad. He's missing an angel.
(15)Is it hot in here or is it just you? <--That one is over used.
(16)Is it windy in here? 'Cause you just blew me away!
(17)I must be ice... because I'm melting fast in your arms!
(18)If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking in my garden forever.
(19)Can you give me directions? 'Cuz I keep on getting lost staring into your eyes.

And my favorite::

(20)I know that milk does a body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking!?

:lol:

(1)Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
(2)Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
(3)I'm good at math. U+I=69
(4)I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
(5)I'm drunk. :lol:

And umm.... nah. The next are too bad to post. ;)

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
UGH! :rolleyes:

:lol: Shut up Chris!

LOL! I don't mean you saying them. I meant like hearing them. :p

Originally posted by Original Prankster
LOL! I don't mean you saying them. I meant like hearing them. :p

Yeah, I know that's what you meant. If I'd heard em.

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Yeah, I know that's what you meant. If I'd heard em.

Haha! OK, just clearing that up! :D

Originally posted by Original Prankster
Haha! OK, just clearing that up! :D

:rollseyes: I got more lines too. Although they're kinda perverted...

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Although they're kinda perverted...

awesome. lets hear em.

Originally posted by tootieismyfav
awesome. lets hear em.

Haha, you really wanna?

You asked for it::

(1)Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
(2)Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
(3)Do you take it up the @ss?
(4)Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist. (5)**** me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
(6)Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to? Ugh, guys used to say that in school.
(7)Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
(8)I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me? That one was said before
(9)Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
(10)Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
(11)Mines bigger than his want proof?

Happy Piggy? I trimmed this down from like 100 to 11. Hehe. Now watch me get kicked or this get closed. Uh Oh. *TJ, I'm a Good girl. Honest*

Here are some of my own:

1.It's a shame that your a vegitarian because I really wanted you to eat me.

2.There's a new rule that whenever your in the bathroom you must keep the door open and take off all your clothes.

3.You should audition for the new American Pie movie because I really want to see what your tits look like on the big screen.

4.Showtime is doing a ripoff of The Sopranos.You'd make a good lead.Oh BTW it's called The SoPORNos.

5.You look alot like Lisa from The Simpsons now get naked and get under me!

6.Do you like Friends because I want to recreate the Chandler sees Rachel Naked scene from TOW The Boobies.

7.My former lover passed away and I haven't had sex in 6 weeks.Will you have sex with me?

8.Ever see Spin City? Well let's do our own version.You be the meter maid and I be the Pizza Boy.

9.Want to play Twister?

10.Hi I'm a Police Officer.Remove all your clothes at this very instant!

I never use pick-up lines cos I think they're a bit insulting to the person you're sayin' them to. Some of them can be pretty funny though (as this thread has proven :lol: )
But Sitcom Writer - I take it you made those ones up on your own (I reckon you do pretty much everything on your own) cos they're absolutely terrible!! They're not even funny! What the hell is number 5 about? Do you have some weird attraction toward Lisa Simpson??

Anyway, I don't need pick-up lines. I don't flirt with women, I just talk to them. It's not my fault my words come out like music....... ;)

Originally posted by Mossopp
I never use pick-up lines cos I think they're a bit insulting to the person you're sayin' them to. Some of them can be pretty funny though (as this thread has proven :lol: )
But Sitcom Writer - I take it you made those ones up on your own (I reckon you do pretty much everything on your own) cos they're absolutely terrible!! They're not even funny! What the hell is number 5 about? Do you have some weird attraction toward Lisa Simpson??

Anyway, I don't need pick-up lines. I don't flirt with women, I just talk to them. It's not my fault my words come out like music....... ;)

Yes I did and yes I know but about the Lisa Simpson thing I don't know what that one was about :lol:

You HAVE to admit though #1 was funny!