What are your favorite quotes from your favorite sitcoms?

I have 2 favorite quotes from my favorite characters and from my favorite sitcoms. But these are only my favorite funny ones.

Who's The Boss?

Mona: Oh, no, maybe she’s got something there, don’t you see! This is kismet! Fate! Destiny that took two kids that kissed twenty years ago and reunited them.Out of all the housekeepers and all the employers in the world, some great force brought you two together!

Tony: Mona, it was you who introduced us.
Mona: See what I mean?

Angela: Well I know for a fact it wasn’t you, because I, unlike some people I know, remember the name of the first person I ever kissed and his name wasn’t Tony, it was Anthony.


Happy Days:
Jenny: Wanna get drunk, fool around, have a few kids or any of the
above?
Roger: Jenny, what is the matter with you?
Jenny: Oh nothing I just had a few minutes to kill before my date

On the contest episode of Seinfeld where kramker says " I'm out" after only being in his apartment for a short time after seeing the naked women across the street.

"Who wants to be a skinny pencil anyway? I'd rather be a happy magic marker."
-Natalie, "The Facts of Life"

I have so many, not only from sitcoms, but Star Trek, cartoons, books, movies, my own stories and so on...but here are a few of my very favorite sitcom quotes:

“Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls.”
--Barney Fife (Andy Griffith Show)

Agent 86, Maxwell Smart: “You can't do that, Chief. Hymie's my friend!”
The Chief: “Your friend busted into my office, said he was going to kill me, smashed my desk to pieces, and almost strangled me with his bare hands!”
Agent 86, Maxwell Smart: “Well, I said he was my friend, not yours.”
--Max & Chief (Get Smart)

Smart: “Synthetic Islands? You mean to tell me that this island isn’t real?”
Siegfried: “OF course not, you STUPID! It’s portable!”
--Smart and Siegfried, (Get Smart)

Frasier: I do not have a fat face!
Niles: Oh, please. I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter. (Frasier)

Frasier Crane: Have you any idea of appropriate baseball-watching attire?
Niles Crane: Obviously, you failed to detect the subtle diamond pattern in my tie. (Frasier)

Niles Crane: Well, as some illustrious person said, "popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."
Frasier Crane: You just made that up, didn't you?
Niles Crane: Yes, but I stand by it. (Frasier)

Of course, there are many more...but I don't have them written down right now...

The Honeymooners

Alice: I call you killer, because you slay me.
Ralph: And I'm callin' Bellvue because you're nuts!!!

Heres a few..

From Roseanne:

Roseanne:This is why some animals eat their young.

From Will and Grace:

Grace:That is not a compliment, a compliment is your sexy, you turn me on. Not one look at you proves I'm a queer.

From "Kate & Allie:"

#102: "Allie Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
(Kate and Allie are talking about Kate's new roomate)
Kate: My mother's neighbor's daughter Haven is interested in renting your room.
Allie: Haven? Sounds like a character on Dynasty.

#101: "Kate Gets Dumped"
(Kate is talking to the woman her boyfriend left her for)
Woman: I'm getting hot in here....
Kate: Why don't you take off your coat and we can step outside?

From "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman:"

(Everybody is fussing and yelling when Grandpa is arrested for flashing again)
Mary: Ma, Pa, Cathy, Tom, EVERYBODY! Everything is gonna be alright! And afterwards, we're gonna all go down to the House of Pancakes!

#02: "Episode Two"
(Grandpa is fussing with George)
Grandpa: I'll never forget when I moved in here, and you took away my dog. He was a great dog. He was almost a thoroughbred......well now that you've taken all that you can get out of me, and I'm an old man, you're just gonna throw me away. Where the hell is the peanut butter!??!?!?!

From "The Ropers:"

#07: "The Party"
Helen: This has been the worst week of my life. I had a fight with Stanley.....I had a fight with him.....I had a fight with a toilet.....

From "Diff'rent Strokes:"

#03
Willis: She fainted because we're black.
Arnold: She did? Well it's nice to be noticed.


That's it for right now, lol.

all time personal fav, have to whip it out and use it as a sigline a couple times a year at least.

"If Im not back in 20 minutes, avenge my death."

Homer J. Simpson



:) :) :)

"HELP ME GEEBUS!!!"- Homer Simpson

"Ewwwww!!!! like shopping at K-Mart!"- Jamie's girlfriend from, "Small Wonder"