Henry: "Where's Sarah tonight?"
Jackie: "Where she always is. Out on a date."

Jackie: "Even when I was in circulation I wasn't in circulation."

Sarah: "I'm sorry, Jackie, I can't help it if guys call me."

Muriel: "I vacuum once a week."

Sarah: "She said 'I don't need your rejects'."

Henry: "She's lonely, not crazy."

Jackie: "I'm getting breast implants."

Henry: "Altering your body is serious business."

Henry: (to Jackie)"God made you the way you are; you have no right to change that."

Jackie: "I'm glad I have a family who believes in me..."

Henry: "I just don't trust an accountant who has a fire in his office every April 14th."

(First line of the series.)
Henry: (to alarm clock)"You wait."

Monroe Ficus:
Well, the big one did break my beeper.

Inspector Moffit:
She broke your what?

Henry Rush:
Part of his equipment!

Muriel: "Henry, would you like some coffee?"
Henry: "Not at my age."

Henry: "You know what this means, Muriel? There's a naked maniac running around out there with the keys to our lives."

Henry: "They must be taught values like honesty, integrity and courage."

Arthur Wainwright: "Well, I saw that show. She's lucky her purse was stolen."

Muriel: "I've got the queen, the court, and the court fool."

Henry: "The only strange person I talk to is Monroe."

Muriel: (to Henry)"Well, I'm out of film and you're out of control."

Henry: "I've always been a man of the sea, ever since I was in the navy."

Monroe: "Maybe she lied about her measurements."

Henry: "You belong under a tank."

Henry: "Monroe, you idiot!"

Monroe & Henry:

Henry Rush: Monroe, those two women abducted you, didn't they? They blindfolded you and forced you to go with them, didn't they? And then they... they... they...
Monroe Ficus: They sure did.