MrCleveland
01-24-2022, 06:56 PM
With the death of Betty White and Louis Anderson...I think it'd be best to have a Sitcom Family Feud episode...
Announcer: It's time once again for Sitcom Family Feud! And here is your host...Richard Dawson!
Richard Dawson enters
Richard: Hello once again to Sitcom Family Feud, I'm your host Richard Dawson and again, from Bertstown...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: So Tony...I hear you're back on the market again!
Tony: Yep...no more ball-and-chain for me!
Richard: And here we have the ball-and-chain...I mean...Helen Warner.
Richard hugs Helen
Helen: Thanks Richard...I needed that!
Richard: Are you okay?
Helen: I am...here's my new boyfriend Paulo Ronaldo.
Richard: I hopy you're not upset that I hugged Helen.
Paulo: Nao...I'm from Brasil and it's a land that has free love. We are planning on getting married.
Richard: Well...now we go to James-Paul Warner...
Paul: I hate winter!
Richard: Looks like nothing is happening in your life, let's see what Dustin is doing...
Dustin: I still live with my dad...we have no utilities.
Richard: Why not?
Dustin: My dad provides some things like a generator and water from the pool.
Richard: Remind me to NOT come to your house. We now have Margaret.
Margaret: Well...this spring we're going to Disney World.
Richard: That sounds like a trip...finally...we have John-Paul Warner!
John: I'm about to run for The House of Represenatives this year. I have some background as mayor.
Richard: Okay then...let's bring-out the cast of The Mary Tyler Moore Show!
The cast of Mary Tyler Moore Show enter.
Richard: You must be Mary Richards.
Richard hugs Mary
Richard: So I see you moved to Minnesota for a better life.
Mary: I did Richard...the marriage wasn't working, so I moved for a better life.
Richard: Was your husband named Ron?
Mary: Oh no!
Richard: Here, we have Lou Grant.
Lou: Hi, Rick.
Richard: So, how long have you worked at WJM?
Lou: Since they opened! Like Mary, you have spunk!
Tony laughs
Lou: What's so funny?
Tony: You know what spunk means?
Lou: Yes...and I hate spunk!
Richard: Don't mind Tony...he makes everything dirty! Next, we have Murray Slaughter.
Richard shakes Murray's hand
Richard: You work as a story writer for WJM.
Murray: Yes...I also have a family. We adopted a child from Vietnam.
Richard: Sounds like you have it made...next, we have Ted Baxter.
Ted: Yes...
Richard: As an anchorman, is it true you have a son named Evan who's an anchorman in Buffalo?
Ted: This is true...he even got tortured by a guy named Bruce Nolan! Luckily, they buried the hatchet.
Richard: Next, we have Rhoda Morgenstern
Richard hugs Rhoda
Richard: So Rhoda, you make dresses?
Rhoda: I do...here's a dress that came from a 1910's Vogue magazine done by Helen Dryden.
Rhoda shows a vintage-style dress.
Richard: That's a lively dress...my ex-wife may like it. Next, we have Phylis Linstrom
Richard tries to hug Phylis, but she resists.
Phylis: I'm sorry, but I don't accept hugs!
Richard: I hear you are part of the Women's Liberation Front.
Phylis: I even support the Justice for George Floyd...
Richard: Look...this is a game show, I believe you all are stressed-out with what is going on in The Twin Cities...finally...we have Sue Ann Nivens.
Richard hugs Sue
Sue-Ann: Richard...It's great to meet you!
Richard: I hear you have a part called The Happy Homemaker.
Sue-Ann: I do...I may even get a national show.
Richard: Okay...let's begin the feud!
Richard goes to his podium as Tony and Mary arrive and they shake hands.
Richard: We surveyed 100 people and got 9 answers...now...Name Something You See In A Newsroom.
Tony Buzzes In
Tony: Sexy Newscasters!
Richard: Do you ever watch the news?
Tony: Only if there's sexy newscasters.
Phylis: Pig!
Tony: *****!
Richard: Stop It! I've been on Hogan's Heros, so I can kick major butt!
Tony: Really?
Richard: Don't toy with me...but...are there any neescasters that are lovely?
20 people said Anchorman/Anchorwoman. This is the #2 answer.
Tony: Freakin' Awesome!
Richard: Now there's one answer above you. Mary...Name Something That's in a Newsroom.
Mary: News Reporte
Richard: Sounds good...is that the #1 answer?
25 people said News Reporters, it's the #1 answer.
Richard: So...will you play or pass?
Mary: We're playing.
Tony: And I passed! Here's some warmth fot you, Minnesota!
Richard: Okay...Lou...Name Something that's in a Newsroom.
Lou: I could say spunk, but...I see typewriters and computers.
Richard: Do we see computers and typewriters in a newsroom?
2 people say typewriters/computers, it's the #9 answer.
Richard: Murray...name something found in a newsroom.
Murray: I see papers all over the place.
Richard: Are there papers all over the place?
3 people said scripts, it's the #8 answer
Richard: Ted...name something seen in a newsroom.
Ted: Cameras, of course!
Richard: Are there any cameras in a newsroom?
15 people said cameras, it's the #3 answer.
Richard: Okay...Rhoda...name something in a newsroom.
Rhoda: I was at WJM once, so...microphones.
Richard: Do we have microphones in a newsroom?
12 people say microphone, it's the #4 answer
Richard: Phylis...name something that's in a newsroom.
Phylis: Sexism!
Richard: That can be found anywhere...but...is it there?
BUZZ
Phylis: That's Sexist!
Richard heads toward the Bertstown podium
Richard: Okay Warners...name something seen in a newsroom.
The Warners debate what the steal answer would be
Paul: Would You All Just Listen To Me For A Second? I work in this industry...I see a sound board in a newsroom!
Tony: I know the answer and it's...a greenscreen!
Richad: So...is there a greenscreen in the newsroom?
5 people said Greenscreen...it's the #7 answer.
Richard: What's the #6 answer?
8 people said sound board.
Richard: I'm sorry, but you must leave.
Sue-Ann: Well Richard...I'm sorry that you didn't ask me for an answer.
Richard: Sue-Ann...you really are a lady!
Sue-Ann: Now I join Sitcom Heaven...I'll even meet with Rose from The Golden Girls and Danny Tanner...who's now with his wife, Pamela. And...here's another hug for you, Richard.
Sue-Ann hugs Richatd
Sue-Ann: See You Soon...
Sue-Ann Leaves
Richard: Well...I hear Louis Anderson is on the other side too...so...who gets to play the fast-money round?
Everyone but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!...
Paul walks toward Richard Dawson, but Louis Anderson arrives.
Louis: Ricky...why are you the host of Sitcom Family Feud?
Richard: I was the first host, so...
Ray Combs enters
Ray: I was the second host...why am I not hosting?
Richard: Because everyone knows me more.
Richard, Ray, and Lois start to fight.
Paul: What about the fast-money round?
Richard: Your Family gets $20,000! Now if you'll excuse me...I gotta show what I learned from Hogan's Heroes! That's it for Sitcom Family Feud! I'm Richard Dawson...and if I win, I'll be the host!
Announcer: It's time once again for Sitcom Family Feud! And here is your host...Richard Dawson!
Richard Dawson enters
Richard: Hello once again to Sitcom Family Feud, I'm your host Richard Dawson and again, from Bertstown...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: So Tony...I hear you're back on the market again!
Tony: Yep...no more ball-and-chain for me!
Richard: And here we have the ball-and-chain...I mean...Helen Warner.
Richard hugs Helen
Helen: Thanks Richard...I needed that!
Richard: Are you okay?
Helen: I am...here's my new boyfriend Paulo Ronaldo.
Richard: I hopy you're not upset that I hugged Helen.
Paulo: Nao...I'm from Brasil and it's a land that has free love. We are planning on getting married.
Richard: Well...now we go to James-Paul Warner...
Paul: I hate winter!
Richard: Looks like nothing is happening in your life, let's see what Dustin is doing...
Dustin: I still live with my dad...we have no utilities.
Richard: Why not?
Dustin: My dad provides some things like a generator and water from the pool.
Richard: Remind me to NOT come to your house. We now have Margaret.
Margaret: Well...this spring we're going to Disney World.
Richard: That sounds like a trip...finally...we have John-Paul Warner!
John: I'm about to run for The House of Represenatives this year. I have some background as mayor.
Richard: Okay then...let's bring-out the cast of The Mary Tyler Moore Show!
The cast of Mary Tyler Moore Show enter.
Richard: You must be Mary Richards.
Richard hugs Mary
Richard: So I see you moved to Minnesota for a better life.
Mary: I did Richard...the marriage wasn't working, so I moved for a better life.
Richard: Was your husband named Ron?
Mary: Oh no!
Richard: Here, we have Lou Grant.
Lou: Hi, Rick.
Richard: So, how long have you worked at WJM?
Lou: Since they opened! Like Mary, you have spunk!
Tony laughs
Lou: What's so funny?
Tony: You know what spunk means?
Lou: Yes...and I hate spunk!
Richard: Don't mind Tony...he makes everything dirty! Next, we have Murray Slaughter.
Richard shakes Murray's hand
Richard: You work as a story writer for WJM.
Murray: Yes...I also have a family. We adopted a child from Vietnam.
Richard: Sounds like you have it made...next, we have Ted Baxter.
Ted: Yes...
Richard: As an anchorman, is it true you have a son named Evan who's an anchorman in Buffalo?
Ted: This is true...he even got tortured by a guy named Bruce Nolan! Luckily, they buried the hatchet.
Richard: Next, we have Rhoda Morgenstern
Richard hugs Rhoda
Richard: So Rhoda, you make dresses?
Rhoda: I do...here's a dress that came from a 1910's Vogue magazine done by Helen Dryden.
Rhoda shows a vintage-style dress.
Richard: That's a lively dress...my ex-wife may like it. Next, we have Phylis Linstrom
Richard tries to hug Phylis, but she resists.
Phylis: I'm sorry, but I don't accept hugs!
Richard: I hear you are part of the Women's Liberation Front.
Phylis: I even support the Justice for George Floyd...
Richard: Look...this is a game show, I believe you all are stressed-out with what is going on in The Twin Cities...finally...we have Sue Ann Nivens.
Richard hugs Sue
Sue-Ann: Richard...It's great to meet you!
Richard: I hear you have a part called The Happy Homemaker.
Sue-Ann: I do...I may even get a national show.
Richard: Okay...let's begin the feud!
Richard goes to his podium as Tony and Mary arrive and they shake hands.
Richard: We surveyed 100 people and got 9 answers...now...Name Something You See In A Newsroom.
Tony Buzzes In
Tony: Sexy Newscasters!
Richard: Do you ever watch the news?
Tony: Only if there's sexy newscasters.
Phylis: Pig!
Tony: *****!
Richard: Stop It! I've been on Hogan's Heros, so I can kick major butt!
Tony: Really?
Richard: Don't toy with me...but...are there any neescasters that are lovely?
20 people said Anchorman/Anchorwoman. This is the #2 answer.
Tony: Freakin' Awesome!
Richard: Now there's one answer above you. Mary...Name Something That's in a Newsroom.
Mary: News Reporte
Richard: Sounds good...is that the #1 answer?
25 people said News Reporters, it's the #1 answer.
Richard: So...will you play or pass?
Mary: We're playing.
Tony: And I passed! Here's some warmth fot you, Minnesota!
Richard: Okay...Lou...Name Something that's in a Newsroom.
Lou: I could say spunk, but...I see typewriters and computers.
Richard: Do we see computers and typewriters in a newsroom?
2 people say typewriters/computers, it's the #9 answer.
Richard: Murray...name something found in a newsroom.
Murray: I see papers all over the place.
Richard: Are there papers all over the place?
3 people said scripts, it's the #8 answer
Richard: Ted...name something seen in a newsroom.
Ted: Cameras, of course!
Richard: Are there any cameras in a newsroom?
15 people said cameras, it's the #3 answer.
Richard: Okay...Rhoda...name something in a newsroom.
Rhoda: I was at WJM once, so...microphones.
Richard: Do we have microphones in a newsroom?
12 people say microphone, it's the #4 answer
Richard: Phylis...name something that's in a newsroom.
Phylis: Sexism!
Richard: That can be found anywhere...but...is it there?
BUZZ
Phylis: That's Sexist!
Richard heads toward the Bertstown podium
Richard: Okay Warners...name something seen in a newsroom.
The Warners debate what the steal answer would be
Paul: Would You All Just Listen To Me For A Second? I work in this industry...I see a sound board in a newsroom!
Tony: I know the answer and it's...a greenscreen!
Richad: So...is there a greenscreen in the newsroom?
5 people said Greenscreen...it's the #7 answer.
Richard: What's the #6 answer?
8 people said sound board.
Richard: I'm sorry, but you must leave.
Sue-Ann: Well Richard...I'm sorry that you didn't ask me for an answer.
Richard: Sue-Ann...you really are a lady!
Sue-Ann: Now I join Sitcom Heaven...I'll even meet with Rose from The Golden Girls and Danny Tanner...who's now with his wife, Pamela. And...here's another hug for you, Richard.
Sue-Ann hugs Richatd
Sue-Ann: See You Soon...
Sue-Ann Leaves
Richard: Well...I hear Louis Anderson is on the other side too...so...who gets to play the fast-money round?
Everyone but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!...
Paul walks toward Richard Dawson, but Louis Anderson arrives.
Louis: Ricky...why are you the host of Sitcom Family Feud?
Richard: I was the first host, so...
Ray Combs enters
Ray: I was the second host...why am I not hosting?
Richard: Because everyone knows me more.
Richard, Ray, and Lois start to fight.
Paul: What about the fast-money round?
Richard: Your Family gets $20,000! Now if you'll excuse me...I gotta show what I learned from Hogan's Heroes! That's it for Sitcom Family Feud! I'm Richard Dawson...and if I win, I'll be the host!