(First line of the series.)
Adrian Monk: "The stove."

Benjy: Did you really meet a blind lady?
Sharona: Yeah.
Benjy: Does she have a dog?
Sharona: No, she had a cane.
Benjy: Hey, maybe I can interview her for that report I have to do on people with disabilities.
Sharona: Wait. I thought you were gonna write about...
Benjy: It only has to be two pages. Mr. Monk is a whole book.

Sharona: "Monk doesn't believe in psychics."
Adrian: "I believe in what I can see. I believe in what's in front of me."

Adrian: "She knows everything. She's psychic."

Adrian's catchphrase: "You'll thank me later."

Monk:

Willie Nelson: Thanks for comin'. My lawyer tells me that you're about the only friend I got left in town.
Adrian Monk: Do you smell that?
Willie Nelson: Uh, no, I don't, and you don't either.
Adrian Monk: I don't either. [chuckles]
Willie Nelson: Yeah, this is a little piece of Texas on wheels.
Adrian Monk: I love it. It's the bomb.
Sharona: "It's the bomb"?
Adrian Monk: Bomb is good.

Adrian: "Not everyone has a father worth mentioning."

Jack Monk: "Son of a bitch bastard!"

Jack: "I lied; I wanted to have a son that I could be proud of. I didn't know I had one in San Francisco."

Sheriff Margie Butterfield: Loosen up! What are you afraid of?

Adrian Monk: Well... pretty long list.

Diane Luden: "Are you a religious man, Mr. Monk?"
Sharona: "He is now."

Capt. Stottlemeyer: "Hey, I'm married, I'm not dead."

Lt. Disher: "The rest is history."
Sharona: "Silicone, and air-brushed women?"

Monk: "Look at that. There's a mirror above the bed. Why would ne need a mirror on the ceiling?"

(Last line of the series.)
Monk: "That actually happened to me once."

Marty Eels.
He's a private investigator.

Nickel-and-dime stuff.
Divorces, insurance fraud.

He's a professional
pain in the ass.

Natalie: Wait. My belt. My good luck belt.

Monk: How’s that working out for you?

Natalie: Can you help me? Get the beads out. It’s hollow. We can make it like a snorkel. I’ll buy us some time. It works. Try it.

Monk: No, I’m fine.