Frank Gannucci
03-14-2021, 08:44 AM
(Ralph & Ed are bringing in a bathtub along with assorted liquids.)
Ralph: “Norton, the Raccoon lodge is going to love the fact that we are making the beer for the Raccoon St. Patty’s Day Party.”
Ed: “What did Alice yell to you when she heard the news?”
Ralph: “The usual. She says that me and you are not capable of making our own beer. ‘You will cause explosions Ralph.’ Pffft. What does she know?”
Ed: “Good thing that Mr. Johnson the landlord doesn’t know about this.”
Ralph: “Headaches and him go together.”
Ed: “Like you and food?”
Ralph: “Ooooooh, you are going to get it Norton. Now look. I am the brains behind this. You are the brawn. Now, we got all these stills that are going to make the beer and I GUARANTEE they won’t explode.”
(Alice comes down.)
Alice: “Boys, have you cone to your senses yet?”
Ralph: “No, we haven’t Alice. Now look Alice. We are the BOSSES of our households. You and Trixie are nothing.”
Alice: “Big deal. You are the bosses over nothing.”
Ralph: “Ooooooh....BANG! ZOOM!”
Ed: “You will be sorry Alice when this BIG Irishman and me serve the greatest beer ever made. St. Patrick will be proud.”
Alice: “Oh boy!”
(Alice leaves as the men make the beer.)
(Later in, she talks to Trixie in the Kramden kitchen.)
Trixie: “Alice, what do you think is the outcome of our two boys making the beer?”
Alice: “Hopefully good. I will open the window to get some air.”
(She does.)
Ed (from basement, yells): “RALPH, THAT MIGHT EXPLODE.”
Ralph (yells): “NORTON, I TOLD YOU WHEN WE BOUGHT THE OTHER STILLS AND TUBS, I CAN GUARANTEE THERE WILL BE NO EXPLOSIONS.”
(Explosions are heard. The girls come down to the basement to see Ralph & Ed alive but there clothes are in tatters. Damage is seen. Mr. Johnson comes down and is UPSET when he sees the damages.)
Mr. Johnson (yells): “WHAT HAPPENED?”
Ed: “Ralph was the one that mixed the liquids incorrectly after I told him that was.”
Ralph (yells): “NORTON!”
Mr. Johnson (yells): “THE KRAMDENS ARE OUT OF THIS BUILDING NOW.”
(He leaves.)
Ed: “Ralph, I see another one of your plans literally blew up.”
Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEET OUT!”
(Ed leaves.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami St. Patty’s Days are the BEST! HAPPY ST. PATTY’S DAY! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph: “Norton, the Raccoon lodge is going to love the fact that we are making the beer for the Raccoon St. Patty’s Day Party.”
Ed: “What did Alice yell to you when she heard the news?”
Ralph: “The usual. She says that me and you are not capable of making our own beer. ‘You will cause explosions Ralph.’ Pffft. What does she know?”
Ed: “Good thing that Mr. Johnson the landlord doesn’t know about this.”
Ralph: “Headaches and him go together.”
Ed: “Like you and food?”
Ralph: “Ooooooh, you are going to get it Norton. Now look. I am the brains behind this. You are the brawn. Now, we got all these stills that are going to make the beer and I GUARANTEE they won’t explode.”
(Alice comes down.)
Alice: “Boys, have you cone to your senses yet?”
Ralph: “No, we haven’t Alice. Now look Alice. We are the BOSSES of our households. You and Trixie are nothing.”
Alice: “Big deal. You are the bosses over nothing.”
Ralph: “Ooooooh....BANG! ZOOM!”
Ed: “You will be sorry Alice when this BIG Irishman and me serve the greatest beer ever made. St. Patrick will be proud.”
Alice: “Oh boy!”
(Alice leaves as the men make the beer.)
(Later in, she talks to Trixie in the Kramden kitchen.)
Trixie: “Alice, what do you think is the outcome of our two boys making the beer?”
Alice: “Hopefully good. I will open the window to get some air.”
(She does.)
Ed (from basement, yells): “RALPH, THAT MIGHT EXPLODE.”
Ralph (yells): “NORTON, I TOLD YOU WHEN WE BOUGHT THE OTHER STILLS AND TUBS, I CAN GUARANTEE THERE WILL BE NO EXPLOSIONS.”
(Explosions are heard. The girls come down to the basement to see Ralph & Ed alive but there clothes are in tatters. Damage is seen. Mr. Johnson comes down and is UPSET when he sees the damages.)
Mr. Johnson (yells): “WHAT HAPPENED?”
Ed: “Ralph was the one that mixed the liquids incorrectly after I told him that was.”
Ralph (yells): “NORTON!”
Mr. Johnson (yells): “THE KRAMDENS ARE OUT OF THIS BUILDING NOW.”
(He leaves.)
Ed: “Ralph, I see another one of your plans literally blew up.”
Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEET OUT!”
(Ed leaves.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami St. Patty’s Days are the BEST! HAPPY ST. PATTY’S DAY! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)