Barbara Jean: "Hey, hey! Who's ready to go to Teddy Bears on Ice?"

Brock: "So he's learning how to process fear. That's a good thing."

Kyra: "Dad's house is haunted."

Reba: "Wow! I've heard of people dyin' to sell their house, but..."

Barbara Jean: "Ghosts like to open drawers."

Reba: "Oh, Barbara Jean was born crazy, Brock. I can't take credit for God's work."

Jake: "People died in our house?!"
Reba: (looks at Barbara Jean)"...not yet."

Barbara Jean: "...I just can't live with an evil presence in my house."
Reba: "Then you shouldn't have married him."

Barbra Jean-"You're not the boss of me!"

Reba-"I know. If I was your boss, we'd be sleeping together by now!"

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Brock Hart:
[speaking of Barbra Jean and Brock's therapist who asked Reba out] You can't go out with him.

Reba:
Why not?

Brock Hart:
Barbra Jean likes him.

Reba:
What?

Brock Hart:
But she wouldn't steal anyone you like. [Reba looks at him] Anyone you like now, anyone you like now.

Reba-Van doesn't have to go to church and Brock can't go. Holy water burns.

Brock-I'm with Reba even though she's being mean to me.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Reba:
If Thanksgiving were a concert, the turkey would be Cher.

Barbra Jean:
So, you want to have Thanksgiving here, and you want Cher?

Reba:
That's right. I've got turkey, babe!

(Last line of the series.)
Reba: "Barbra Jean's right. We got through it all, because we're survivors."

(First line of the series.)
Reba: "Court mandated therapy..."

Reba:
[when Kyra is helping cheer Barbra Jean up after she and Brock separate] You are a beautiful young woman.

Kyra:
Or maybe you just raised me right. That and I watch a lot of "7th Heaven".

Jake: "Adults are so weird."

Jake: "We don't have a party for Dad when he pulls a tooth."

Van: (sarcastically)"I'm having a T-shirt printed up."

Van: (to Cheyenne)"It's baseball season, honey. I need to drink beer!"

Barbra Jean: "Lord, that's great coffee."

Cheyenne: "I have wonderful news: I'm an alcoholic!"

Van: "I'm havin' a beer."

Cheyenne: "The problem is not alcohol, the problem is Cheyenne."

Barbra Jean:
Hey Kyra, how was school?

Kyra:
Good- but I really missed you today. [Hugs Barbra Jean]

Barbra Jean:
Oh. I know you want something... but this is one fiddle that says, "Play Me."

Reba: "Alcohol... Good idea."

Reba: "Alcohol, and a lot of it."

[Reba's found a bottle of vodka in Van and Cheyenne's closet and thinks it's Van's]

Van Montgomery:
[to Cheyenne, holding the bottle] Is this yours?

Cheyenne:
No! Why would it be mine?

Van Montgomery:
Well it's not mine, and if it's not yours, then our 3-year old has a MAJOR problem! Cheyenne... what's going on?

Van: (to Reba)"If you take loyalty and ethics out of business, you know what you have?"
Reba: "Television network."

Van: "Stupid Google."

Brock: Reba, I have to marry her!
Reba: Have to? The only reason you'd have to marry her is-- Oh my god.
Cheyenne: Dad! How could you!?

Reba: "Four terrifyin' years in a row."

Van: "That's not funny; that just burns."

Cheyenne: "Mom, you do not want Van at your party."

Barbra Jean: "Halloween is evil."

Van: (to Frank)"Are you sure you're not gay?"

[Van is sleeping, drooling on his sheets. Reba comes in telling him to wake up]

Van Montgomery:
Awwww! I was dreaming about waffles!

Cheyenne: it was only a matter of time before miss congeniality snapped!
Kyra: spell congeniality!
Cheyenne: spell no!

Kyra Hart:
Barbra Jean is pregnant.

Jake Hart:
I thought Cheyenne was pregnant.

Cheyenne Hart-Montgomery:
Oh my God! Shut up Jake.

Barbra Jean: "Oh, those funny Germans..."

Barbra Jean: "I'll bet she's the life of Octoberfest."

Reba: "That's because she wasn't pregnant. And she wasn't a she."

Van: "Man, Cheyenne, your mom's got a bug up her nose."

Van: "It is hard work, bein' witty."

Reba: "Like I always say, if life gives you lemons, make yourself a screwdriver."

Van: "You see, booze doesn't make you charming, humor does."

Barbra Jean: There she is, the mother of the bride.
Reba: (crying) You were only suppose to bring the ice.

Barbra Jean: "Somethin' tells me the lord of the manor's gettin' his pillows fluffed tonight."

Van: "...all I saw was red."

Barbra Jean: "Now, don't worry. I watch all of the CSIs."

Van: "Uh-oh; here comes the real blood."

Van: "Check's in the mail, pretty boy."

Reba: "This Halloween keeps gettin' better and better."

Barbra Jean: No, you can't talk to her teacher! Otherwise, you'll be smashed into a locker with chalk up your nose and duct tape in your hair!
Brock: Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you.
Reba: Except you were 34.

Reba: "What is an orange manatee doin' in my shower!?"

Reba: "The only way he's gonna stay in the garage is if a car is running!"

Barbra Jean: "No, Brock. And next time, I got two hundred rounds. And I'm aimin' low."

Brock: "I'm a guy. I don't what I'm feeling."

Reba: "Brock, honey, the gun I own doesn't shoot paint."

Mrs. Hodge: (to Reba)"The policy of this school is that sex doesn't exist."
Reba: "How's that workin' for you?"

Reba: "Almost brought back my lunch."

Barbara Jean: It's always the bullies, or the jocks, or preps. The nerds aren't all that friendly, either!
Reba (to Kyra, ignoring Barbra Jean): How long has this been going on?
Barbra Jean: My whole life!

^^^ To me, that is about as bad as it gets if the nerds won't even give you the time a day.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Reba:
Do you know what a teenager is?

Barbra Jean:
A demon?

Barbra Jean: "Nobody wants the old ball and chain around."
Reba: (sarcastically)"Thanks for understanding."

Brock: "Wow! So that's what this door looks like, sober."

Van: "No one wants to know!"

Mike: "So, how's married life?"
Reba: "Over... we're divorced."

Reba: "I can't believe it. I can't believe Terry's dead."

Brock: "Only the good die young, and he wasn't good?"

Reba: "His last words to me were, 'I'll never get over you.'"

^^^ To me, those are from one of the best episodes.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Cheyenne: You're leaving? Who's going to watch Elizabeth?
Reba: Oooh, that was close. I almost left her alone with her parents!
Van Montgomery: They all want grandchildren, but they never think of the consequences...