Oscar: "Forget about the Mets game. Let's shuffle on down to the ballet at Lincoln Center."

Felix: "Gloria? Forget about her. I just met a stripper with huge ****. That's where it's at, baby."

Murray the Cop: "You wanna know why I'm so depressed? Last night in bed Mimi said she wished my service weapon was as big as my nose."

Blanche to Oscar: "Perfectly fine with me if you gamble all my alimony money away. I just married Patrick Ewing."

Oscar: "I can't work at a messy desk!"

Felix in a restaurant: "I believe I'll have the Beef Wellington, medium rare.... and a side of nachos."

(love it)

Felix to Oscar: Don’t worry about those dirty dinner dishes- I’ll get them in the morning.

Felix: "We were playing hockey down at Chelsea Piers and I cross-checked Miriam in the face. Now she won't speak to me."

Oscar to Felix: "I'm taking up photography so I can be more like you. Murray's coming over to pose for me. Can I borrow your wide angle lens so I can fit in his whole nose?"

Oscar: Hey Felix, can I borrow your feather duster? I want to clean up my room.

Oscar: "Felix, I hope you never go back with your ex-wife Gloria. Living here with you is what I want to do forever."

Felix: I’m giving up photography. I’m going to start doing voice overs for geese in heat for National Geographic.

Speed: "Who wants to play cards? I want to hear some of Felix's opera records."

Felix: I’m ecstatic Gloria wants to get re-married

Miriam: "What do you mean I don't know as much about medicine as Nancy? My last name's Welby, isn't it?"

Felix: "I've had it with opera. What I really like are them cool-ass rappers."

Oscar: I’m going to give my room the white glove treatment. (LOL those gloves would be dead in three seconds flat.)

Oscar: "Blanche, I'll have a beer. Shaken, not stirred."

Pushover Page to Felix & Oscar: I AM that kind of pushover; have your way with me!

Nancy: "Al "Bummy" Davis can go suck an egg."

(Never realized what big fan you are of the show. It was fun. Tony did do a wicked Felix)

Murray: My precinct just nominated me for Mensa!

Huge fan of the show. Unfortunately it doesn't get that many posts.

Myrna: "I may sound like I come from the Bronx but actually I'm a full blooded Lakota. My grandfather 'Speaks with a Yiddish Accent' fought Custer at Little Big Horn."

Huge fan of the show. Unfortunately it doesn't get that many posts.

Myrna: "I may sound like I come from the Bronx but actually I'm a full blooded Lakota. My grandfather 'Speaks with a Yiddish Accent' fought Custer at Little Big Horn."

Speed: I hate playing poker. Let’s play Old Maid.

Felix: You think Joyce Bulifant is the hottest one on "Match Game"? Oscar, she's got nothing on that babe Brett Somers on the top row!

:eek:

Felix: "I don't like pits... pits... pits.... in my beer... beer... beer..."

Ms. Ferret of the IRS: Mr. Unger, we’re auditing your last three years for tax fraud.

Oscar: "Felix, is your daughter Edna coming over? I have this sudden urge to do the Flopsey Mopsey dance."

Felix: "Why would I want to shampoo the rug? It will only get dirty again anyway."

Blanche to Oscar: "Perfectly fine with me if you gamble all my alimony money away. I just married Patrick Ewing."

who's Patrick Ewing? One of e Ewings from DALLAS?

Howard Cosell to Felix: You are the most fascinating man ever; please tell me more!

who's Patrick Ewing? One of e Ewings from DALLAS?

I hope you're kidding.

https://www.blackpast.org/wp-content/uploads/Patrick-Ewing-Chicago-Crusader.jpg

Felix: "How about a game of finger painting?"

Betty White and Alan Luden to Felix: you give the best Password clues we’ve ever seen!

Dr Clove: "The best way to exorcise the ghost in the air conditioner is to push it out the window."

Oscar: Hey Felix, can we eat off your fine China tonight?

Murray the Cop: "Sorry guys, I can't play poker. Bill de Blasio says we have to crack some heads at the BLM riot tonight."

Howard Cosell to Oscar: Even though you wrote snarky comments about me, I would never try to get even with you. Scout’s honor.

Felix to Oscar: No there’s not a geese family on our rooftop, it was just me clearing my sinuses!

Mr. Fafner: "Remember Mr. Unger, if you need any minor repairs done, I do those in my off hours. When on duty all I do is sell illicit drugs."

Oscar: My IRS info is all neatly stacked and organized in a box under my bed!

Oscar:"Felix, you've got to go out tonight. Nancy's coming over and we're going to play doctor."

LOL

Felix: God, I love dust bunnies. Filth is soooo relaxing.

Felix: "Murray, can you go pick Edna up at the airport? She's joined the Hari Krishnas again."

Gloria: Blanche, since you think Oscar's too slobby and I think Felix is too neat, how about we date each other's exes to see if we make better matches with them?

IRS Agent to Felix: Your returns are the messiest and most disorganized I’ve ever seen!

This is about half as weird as following Paul Williams on the road.

I love that episode.

One of my favorite scenes of The Odd Couple.

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Speed: Playing poker sucks, Let’s needlepoint.

Gloria: "Felix, Hugh Hefner asked me to pose for Playboy again."

Felix: "Forget it. No one is staring at my wife's hoo-hah!"

Blanche: Hugh Hefner wants me to pose for Playboy!
Oscar: For what? The April Fool's Issue?

Felix: "Oscar, my opera group is coming over today. Please, no farting in the living room."

Miriam: "Felix, I'm dumping you and running off with Rodney Allen Rippy!"

Myrna: "Mistah Unga, you better come quick! Mistah Madison is going on TV with Howard Cosell dressed in women's underwear."

Speed: "Hey, Murray's cheating. He's got the Ace of Spades hidden up his nose!"