Andy to Barney: shut up, you idiot!

Andy to Helen: You drive me nuts, Woman!

Andy to Aunt Bee: Your cooking stinks!

Aunt Bee to Andy and Opie: Get your own meals, you lazy bums! I'm a women's libber!

Otis Kimball: I’m gonna join AA!

Andy: Helen, I'm sick of your whining and sulking so I'm dumping you and seeking out Ellie to beg her forgiveness!

Barney: I will not do something stupid today!

Opie: I will now start calling Paw "Father" because I've matured.

Aunt Bea: Let’s get really pickled. On purpose!

Aunt Bee with a crew cut and wearing a white tee shirt with a pack of Lucky's rolled up in her shirt sleeve and a truckers tan, driving a dump truck.....and honking for all the little kiddies at the school crosswalk. :happyface

Helen Crump: I’m sick of teaching. I want to be a sailor.

Otis: Today I'm telling Andy where the still is.

Opie: I hate going fishing Pa!

Aunt Bee: I don't want that stupid bed jacket for my birthday. I hope I get a bunch of kitchen stuff and mason jars.

Barney: I will not do something stupid with the one bullet you gave me Ange.

Ernest T. Bass: The next scalawag who says I was born in the Bronx is going to get a brick through their window!

Otis: are there any A.A. meetings in Mt. Pilot?

Floyd the Barber: I wish I didn't have to cut any more hair. I wish I had gone into taxidermy instead.

Helen to Andy: I love it when you make teaching a class harder for me!

Helen: Today, I actually feel like smiling!

Otis to Aunt Bee: Let’s get crocked together!

Otis to Ernest T. Bass: Are you sure there's no better way to cure my hangover besides throwing that brick at my head?

Helen: I am just as easygoing as Thelma Lou! Everyone knows that about me!

Aunt Bea: Nothing like getting crocked before church.

Thelma Lou: Helen, even Clara Edwards is more fun and pleasant to be friends with than you!

Barney: I don’t want to feed that goat any more of those long sticks with wicks on them, as that would be a stupid thing to do, and I NEVER do stupid things.

Andy: Helen, why are you always so upset?!

Otis: May I have a Shirley Temple please?

Aunt Bee, "Opie, have you seen my crack pipe?"

(Good one!)

Aunt Bea: We’re having TV dinners tonight.

Barney: I think I'll take a nap and then head over to Thelma Lou's for some old fashioned Kale Casserole.