View Full Version : Things You’d Never Hear on Burns & Allen


OH Nuts!
07-16-2020, 01:07 AM
Blanche to Harry: You’re the sweetest and most generous man I know!

PracTz
07-16-2020, 01:05 PM
George: Say Goodnight, Gracie!

Gracie: Goodnight, Gracie!

(Even though the above's long since been considered the archtypical close for the show, Gracie NEVER actually said 'Goodnight, Gracie' but would just reply with a surprisingly bashful 'Goodnight' to the audience)

OH Nuts!
07-16-2020, 04:59 PM
George to Harry von Zell: I’d never ever fire you!

stevea
07-24-2020, 11:44 PM
George: I'm sick of my magic TV. I'm gonna throw it out the window.

OH Nuts!
07-25-2020, 12:21 AM
George: I sing better than Frank Sinatra!

stevea
07-25-2020, 01:23 AM
George: I'm sick of these cigars. I'm giving up smoking.

OH Nuts!
07-27-2020, 01:47 PM
George: Harry you’re getting a BIG FAT raise.

PracTz
07-30-2020, 11:39 AM
Harry: Jack Benny's just offered me double your salary so I QUIT!

OH Nuts!
07-31-2020, 07:57 AM
Harry: Jack Benny's just offered me double your salary so I QUIT!

(Good one!)

Gracie: I’m really going to gaslight everybody by making perfect sense today!

stevea
09-16-2020, 05:38 PM
Ronnie: Mother, you confuse the daylights out of me!

OH Nuts!
09-16-2020, 07:44 PM
Gracie: I hate gaslighting people with my illogic logic.

PracTz
09-17-2020, 12:54 PM
George: Ronnie, you may not be anywhere as handsome as me but folks tune in because you've got more wit, humor and personality in your little finger than I do in my whole body!

OH Nuts!
09-17-2020, 02:46 PM
Harry: A $40,000 mink for the most beautiful wife in the world!

Sal
10-13-2020, 09:46 AM
Gracie: Say Goodnight, George!

OH Nuts!
10-20-2020, 10:06 PM
Harry to George: shove it George....because...I’m firing YOU. Hasty la vista baby!

stevea
12-15-2020, 01:40 PM
Harry Morton: George, I know all about that magic TV in your den. So no more spying on us!

OH Nuts!
12-16-2020, 03:34 PM
George: O G Gracie, you’re starting to make perfect sense to me—I hope I’m not getting Alzheimer’s.

stevea
12-23-2020, 09:56 AM
George: Ronnie, when your mother is talking crazy, just tell her she's a ditz!

PracTz
12-23-2020, 10:13 AM
Gracie: Everyone who's met Ronnie knows he gets his madcap humor and unique logic from ME!

OH Nuts!
12-24-2020, 08:28 AM
Ronnie: No more girl chasing for me-I want to settle down to a domineering ball and chain.

PracTz
12-25-2020, 10:51 AM
Ronnie: I want to marry a girl just like the girl who married dear old Dad!

OH Nuts!
12-25-2020, 11:54 AM
Ronnie: Girls are boring

Nansei
04-17-2021, 06:53 PM
Harry Morton: "I simply adore my brother in law!"

OH Nuts!
04-21-2021, 08:23 PM
George & Gracie: No more Carnation Milk commercials on our show!

stevea
04-24-2021, 11:49 PM
George: Harry, here's a lifetime contract. It means I'll never fire you.

OH Nuts!
04-24-2021, 11:52 PM
George: Gracie, you’re making perfect sense!

stevea
06-19-2021, 07:46 PM
George: I know you need help with your trigonometry, Ronnie, but I don't have time right now. Why don't you ask your mother?