Mateo:

Welcome to the no options club. It's a cool club. Most of America's in it. We meet on Tuesdays.

— Amy Dubanowski

Jonah:

Tomorrow is gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday.
— Amy Dubanowski

Garrett:

I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, my bible is the employee code of conduct.
— Dina Fox

Carol: "Anyways, I'm at lunch with you-know-who. Awkward!"

Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can't, and when you pop them, they scream.

— Glenn Sturgis

Dina:

.

Tate: Why does a pharmacist want to slum it as an assistant manager? I mean, is this a prank show? Is there a camera watching? Just truth is, I need a break. Have you ever held a dying man's hand in yours while you had to tell him that we don't accept rewards points for his medication? He literally died while I was holding his hand.

Amy: I don't think that's true.

Jonah & Garrett:

Alprazolam, Good, good times.
— Tate Staskiewicz

Dina:

Dude, you can't get everybody here to agree to join a union. We couldn't even agree on a theme for our summer barbecue. Ended up being 1980s Arabian Nights Under The Sea Harry Potter.
— Garrett McNeill (Colton Dunn)

Dina & Garrett:

Some days you get the giraffe, and other days you get the wig.
— Cheyenne Lee

(season 6 'Essential' episode)

Dina:

“Welcome to the no options club. It's a cool club. Most of America's in it. We meet on Tuesdays.”
— Amy Dubanowski

Dina:

Dina to Glenn:

Dina:

“Just want to let you know, I know names besides Steve.”
— Glenn Sturgis

Jonah:

“Dude, you can't get everybody here to agree to join a union. We couldn't even agree on a theme for our summer barbecue. Ended up being 1980s Arabian Nights Under The Sea Harry Potter.”
— Garrett McNeill

Bo:

Dina:

"Shut up, Sandra."

Dina & a customer:

“I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, my bible is the employee code of conduct.”
— Dina Fox

Glenn & Dina:

“Could it be a race riot? It's so hard to tell in the early stages.”
— Glenn Sturgis

Garrett:

Mateo Liwanag : “It's just like my mom always said, if you don't work hard, baby Jesus will cry.”