MrCleveland
10-02-2019, 01:57 PM
Announcer: It's Time Once Again for Sitcom Family Feud! And here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson!
Richard Dawson enters.
Richard: Welcome once again to Sitcom Family Feud! Now let's bring-back...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: So Tony...how's retirement?
Tony: In some ways...freakin' awesome! But not for Helen....
Richard: Up next...Helen.
Helen: Well...it's hard...but Dustin helps me a lot.
Richard: I'm glad that he does.
Helen: Sometimes John and Paul helps sometimes.
Richard: Next, we have Paul...anything new?
Paul: I lost my radio podcast job because of Dustin...
Richard: Still moping, so let's go and see Dustin...
Dustin: Yeah...but I'm gonna have a better podcast show next week! Tune-in!
Richard: Let's not and say we did...next up we have Margaret.
Margaret: I wanna show you something...
Richard: Can we do that on TV?
Margaret brings-out a wooden plaque of OSU.
Margaret: This is an OSU Buckeyes plaque made by my husband Craig Liszt.
Tony: I still think he's a dumb-ass!
Richard: Tony...please! Finally, we have John Warner.
John: I'm gonna try to run for President! I'm under the Libertarian Ticket.
Richard: Okay...we don't need to be political, so...let's bring us The cast of The Drew Carey Show!
The cast ofThe Drew Carey Showappear.
Richard: So Drew Carey...how's life at Winfred-Louder?
Drew: It's okay...I even have a few people who work there too.
Richard: Next, we have Nigel Wick.
Nigel: Well...I have some good stories out there...I lost a toe and nipple during a foxhunt with Roger Waters, Eric Clapton, Steve Winwood, Brian Ferry, and Gary Booker...
Paul: (Off-Camera) It's Brooker!
Nigel:...anyhow...a fox took-out my toe and nipple. I fainted big time!
Richard: Sounds as interesting as Paul's stories!
Paul: (Off-Camera) Hey!
Richard: I was never into fox-hunting...next up is Mimi Bobeck!
Mimi: Kiss Me, Ricky!
Richard: Let's not and say we did...so...you're Drew's brother-in-law.
Mimi: Yeah...I'm related to the pig right now!
Drew: Yeah? Well, Richard won't even let you kiss him.
Mimi: Bite Me, Pig!
Richard: There'll be no biting in this game...next we have Kate O'Brien.
Richard hugs Kate
Mimi: Ricky...why'd you hug her and not me?
Richard: Because I don't look like a clown!
Mimi: Bite Me, Dick!
Richard: I already chew-out Tony for calling me that...so...Kate, you've been friends with Drew since High School.
Kate: Yes...and I also know how to box.
Richard: That's good...next we have Lewis Kiniski.
Lewis: Well...I work at DrugCo, I have a high I.Q., and I'm really creepy!
Richard: I also heard you got sick once.
Lewis: Oh...that felt awful...I even walked naked for an entire day.
Richard: And you didn't get arrested?
Lewis: No one wants to arrest you when you're naked.
Richard: Thanks for sharing...finally, we have Oswald Lee Harvey.
Oswald: wait a minute...what am I doing here?
Richard: You're gonna play The Feud.
Oswald: Because I deliver packages at Global Parcel, I live with Lewis at The Warsaw Tavern, and I almost married Kate.
Richard: Is that all?
Oswald: Yes....
Richard: Then...let's start the feud!
Richard goes to his podium and both Drew and Tony are at the opposite sides.
Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people for the questions I will ask...Name Something that represents Parma.
Tony Buzzes-in.
Tony: *****s!
Richard: I don't think that's what we're looking for.
Dustin: (Off-Camera) It's a type of Jamaican Dance or a song by Fatboy Slim.
Tony: What he said...
Richard: You gonna keep that? Okay...is that Fatboy Slim song up there, but instead of Rockefeller...It's Parma?
BUZZ
Tony: WHAT? That Was A Freakin' Good Answer!
Richard: But not for the survey people. Drew...Name Something that represents Parma.
Drew: Flamingos, of course!
Richard: Do we have "Flamingos"?
32 People say "Flamingos", It's the #1 Answer.
Richard: So Drew...will you play or pass?
Drew: We're playing!
Tony: And I just passed...ooh now that's ******!
Richard: Why must he pass gas on my show? Okay, Nigel...Name Something that Represents Parma...
Nigel: Richard...I hear it's a big suburb.
Richard: Okay...is Parma big?
2 People said "Big Suburb".
Richard: Okay...Mimi, Name Something that represents Parma.
Mimi: Well...I see this a lot...a lot of white socks.
Richard: Show Me...your white socks!
28 People said "white socks", It's the #2 Answer.
Richard: Kate...Name Something that represents Parma.
Kate: Though not around anymore...Parma Pierogis.
Richard: What is a Pierogi?
Kate: It's a dumpling filled with potatoes and you add onions and sour cream to it...My God, they're good.
Richard: If I ever go to Parma...will there be...Pierogis?
12 People said Perogis.
Richard: Good answer...Lewis...Name Something that Represents Parma.
Lewis: I'm probably Polish, so...Polish People?
Richard: Polish People...do they eat Perogis?
Lewis: Damn Straight!
Richard: Okay...let's see if Polish People are there?
10 people said "Ethnic Groups" .
Richard: Okay...Poland counts. Okay Oswald...there's two more answers up on the board...Name Something that represents Parma.
Oswald: Hmm...I'm gonna say...
Richard: Hurry Up...
Oswald: Parmatown Mall! I got lost there once! As a matter of fact...more than once.
Richard: Okay...tell me is Parmatown Mall up there?
BUZZ
Richard: Okay...The Warners can now steal...
The Warners are debating to say "corrupted politics" or "the polka". Paul then bangs his gavel.
Paul: Can You Just Listen To Me For Once? I think we should go with "Polkas". People in Parma love to polka.
Tony: I think we'll go with...the crooked politicians in Parma, especially the police force there!
Helen: Tony...Tony...Calm-Down, maybe after the game you can have a drink or two with Drew and his friends.
Richard: Do you have a problem with Parma?
Helen: He gets most of his speeding tickets from Parma.
Richard: Okay...so is corruption a thing in Parma?
1 person said "Corrupted Politicians".
Richard: Hmm...I think he knows Parma as well...then what's the last answer?
15 People said "Polkas", it's the #3 Answer.
Richard: Well...I guess we have to say goodbye...
Drew: Well...me, my friends, and The Warners are going to have a few drinks after the show...plus...Dustin's out of probation!
Richard: Well...they're gonna play fast-money real soon...okay, who's gonna play for fast-money?
Everyone but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul Is!
Paul goes up to Richard.
Paul: It always seems that their **** is more important than my ****!
Richard: But look...you're gonna win $10,000...and you could run a good bill for tonight. Let's have 15 seconds for the clock...and once I say the question...the clock will start.
:15 is seen.
Richard: Name a type of burger.
Paul: Pizza Burger.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a Comic Series.
Paul: FoxTrot
BUZZ
Richard: Name a Hooved Animal.
Paul: Tapir.
BUZZ
Name a subject in Math.
Paul: Number Theory.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a show on MTV.
Paul: The Story of the Brothers Grunt.
BUZZ
Richard: Again...no points...no money...so you have to buy the rounds.
Paul: But I have no money!
Dustin: I'll pay...plus...I'm out of probation!
Richard: Well...don't go TOO hog-wild...
Helen: If anything, I'll drive them home...I don't drink anyhow.
Richard: That's another round of Sitcom Family Feud in the books...goodnight!
Richard Dawson enters.
Richard: Welcome once again to Sitcom Family Feud! Now let's bring-back...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: So Tony...how's retirement?
Tony: In some ways...freakin' awesome! But not for Helen....
Richard: Up next...Helen.
Helen: Well...it's hard...but Dustin helps me a lot.
Richard: I'm glad that he does.
Helen: Sometimes John and Paul helps sometimes.
Richard: Next, we have Paul...anything new?
Paul: I lost my radio podcast job because of Dustin...
Richard: Still moping, so let's go and see Dustin...
Dustin: Yeah...but I'm gonna have a better podcast show next week! Tune-in!
Richard: Let's not and say we did...next up we have Margaret.
Margaret: I wanna show you something...
Richard: Can we do that on TV?
Margaret brings-out a wooden plaque of OSU.
Margaret: This is an OSU Buckeyes plaque made by my husband Craig Liszt.
Tony: I still think he's a dumb-ass!
Richard: Tony...please! Finally, we have John Warner.
John: I'm gonna try to run for President! I'm under the Libertarian Ticket.
Richard: Okay...we don't need to be political, so...let's bring us The cast of The Drew Carey Show!
The cast ofThe Drew Carey Showappear.
Richard: So Drew Carey...how's life at Winfred-Louder?
Drew: It's okay...I even have a few people who work there too.
Richard: Next, we have Nigel Wick.
Nigel: Well...I have some good stories out there...I lost a toe and nipple during a foxhunt with Roger Waters, Eric Clapton, Steve Winwood, Brian Ferry, and Gary Booker...
Paul: (Off-Camera) It's Brooker!
Nigel:...anyhow...a fox took-out my toe and nipple. I fainted big time!
Richard: Sounds as interesting as Paul's stories!
Paul: (Off-Camera) Hey!
Richard: I was never into fox-hunting...next up is Mimi Bobeck!
Mimi: Kiss Me, Ricky!
Richard: Let's not and say we did...so...you're Drew's brother-in-law.
Mimi: Yeah...I'm related to the pig right now!
Drew: Yeah? Well, Richard won't even let you kiss him.
Mimi: Bite Me, Pig!
Richard: There'll be no biting in this game...next we have Kate O'Brien.
Richard hugs Kate
Mimi: Ricky...why'd you hug her and not me?
Richard: Because I don't look like a clown!
Mimi: Bite Me, Dick!
Richard: I already chew-out Tony for calling me that...so...Kate, you've been friends with Drew since High School.
Kate: Yes...and I also know how to box.
Richard: That's good...next we have Lewis Kiniski.
Lewis: Well...I work at DrugCo, I have a high I.Q., and I'm really creepy!
Richard: I also heard you got sick once.
Lewis: Oh...that felt awful...I even walked naked for an entire day.
Richard: And you didn't get arrested?
Lewis: No one wants to arrest you when you're naked.
Richard: Thanks for sharing...finally, we have Oswald Lee Harvey.
Oswald: wait a minute...what am I doing here?
Richard: You're gonna play The Feud.
Oswald: Because I deliver packages at Global Parcel, I live with Lewis at The Warsaw Tavern, and I almost married Kate.
Richard: Is that all?
Oswald: Yes....
Richard: Then...let's start the feud!
Richard goes to his podium and both Drew and Tony are at the opposite sides.
Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people for the questions I will ask...Name Something that represents Parma.
Tony Buzzes-in.
Tony: *****s!
Richard: I don't think that's what we're looking for.
Dustin: (Off-Camera) It's a type of Jamaican Dance or a song by Fatboy Slim.
Tony: What he said...
Richard: You gonna keep that? Okay...is that Fatboy Slim song up there, but instead of Rockefeller...It's Parma?
BUZZ
Tony: WHAT? That Was A Freakin' Good Answer!
Richard: But not for the survey people. Drew...Name Something that represents Parma.
Drew: Flamingos, of course!
Richard: Do we have "Flamingos"?
32 People say "Flamingos", It's the #1 Answer.
Richard: So Drew...will you play or pass?
Drew: We're playing!
Tony: And I just passed...ooh now that's ******!
Richard: Why must he pass gas on my show? Okay, Nigel...Name Something that Represents Parma...
Nigel: Richard...I hear it's a big suburb.
Richard: Okay...is Parma big?
2 People said "Big Suburb".
Richard: Okay...Mimi, Name Something that represents Parma.
Mimi: Well...I see this a lot...a lot of white socks.
Richard: Show Me...your white socks!
28 People said "white socks", It's the #2 Answer.
Richard: Kate...Name Something that represents Parma.
Kate: Though not around anymore...Parma Pierogis.
Richard: What is a Pierogi?
Kate: It's a dumpling filled with potatoes and you add onions and sour cream to it...My God, they're good.
Richard: If I ever go to Parma...will there be...Pierogis?
12 People said Perogis.
Richard: Good answer...Lewis...Name Something that Represents Parma.
Lewis: I'm probably Polish, so...Polish People?
Richard: Polish People...do they eat Perogis?
Lewis: Damn Straight!
Richard: Okay...let's see if Polish People are there?
10 people said "Ethnic Groups" .
Richard: Okay...Poland counts. Okay Oswald...there's two more answers up on the board...Name Something that represents Parma.
Oswald: Hmm...I'm gonna say...
Richard: Hurry Up...
Oswald: Parmatown Mall! I got lost there once! As a matter of fact...more than once.
Richard: Okay...tell me is Parmatown Mall up there?
BUZZ
Richard: Okay...The Warners can now steal...
The Warners are debating to say "corrupted politics" or "the polka". Paul then bangs his gavel.
Paul: Can You Just Listen To Me For Once? I think we should go with "Polkas". People in Parma love to polka.
Tony: I think we'll go with...the crooked politicians in Parma, especially the police force there!
Helen: Tony...Tony...Calm-Down, maybe after the game you can have a drink or two with Drew and his friends.
Richard: Do you have a problem with Parma?
Helen: He gets most of his speeding tickets from Parma.
Richard: Okay...so is corruption a thing in Parma?
1 person said "Corrupted Politicians".
Richard: Hmm...I think he knows Parma as well...then what's the last answer?
15 People said "Polkas", it's the #3 Answer.
Richard: Well...I guess we have to say goodbye...
Drew: Well...me, my friends, and The Warners are going to have a few drinks after the show...plus...Dustin's out of probation!
Richard: Well...they're gonna play fast-money real soon...okay, who's gonna play for fast-money?
Everyone but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul Is!
Paul goes up to Richard.
Paul: It always seems that their **** is more important than my ****!
Richard: But look...you're gonna win $10,000...and you could run a good bill for tonight. Let's have 15 seconds for the clock...and once I say the question...the clock will start.
:15 is seen.
Richard: Name a type of burger.
Paul: Pizza Burger.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a Comic Series.
Paul: FoxTrot
BUZZ
Richard: Name a Hooved Animal.
Paul: Tapir.
BUZZ
Name a subject in Math.
Paul: Number Theory.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a show on MTV.
Paul: The Story of the Brothers Grunt.
BUZZ
Richard: Again...no points...no money...so you have to buy the rounds.
Paul: But I have no money!
Dustin: I'll pay...plus...I'm out of probation!
Richard: Well...don't go TOO hog-wild...
Helen: If anything, I'll drive them home...I don't drink anyhow.
Richard: That's another round of Sitcom Family Feud in the books...goodnight!