Oliver: Farming sucks! Lisa let’s head back to a Park Avenue where you’d rather be!

Fred Ziffel: Of course we don't treat Arnold like our son! Good Grief! He's just a pig!

Oliver to Lisa " Your hotcakes are really delicious, you should sell the recipe to fine restaurants" !!

Mr. Haney to Oliver: I will not rip you off this time!

Haney: This product is 100% legitimate
Oliver: I believe you! I'll take your entire stock!!

Oliver: Lisa your hotcakes are so fluffy and delicious. Can I have another stack please!

Fred Ziffel to Doris - "Doris don't cook supper tonight, let's go out to that new Sushi restaurant in town" !

Lisa: I’m so glad we moved from Park Avenue Oliver. Let’s go to a hoe-down in Pixley.

Fred Ziffel: I don't own a pig farm. Are you nuts? I grow corn! Corn! Not pigs!

Monroe Brothers: we will never ever screw up an assignment again!

Mr. Haney to Oliver: I can not tell a lie. All my stuff is gennnn.....u.....wine JUNK!

Doris to Fred: Honey, we really should have gotten a dog instead of a pig. What were we thinking?

[Arnold walks in]

Lisa: Oh hello there Arnold! How is your day, darling?
Arnold: Been going alright.
Oliver: He spoke English??
Lisa: Well of course. What do you think he's been speaking all these years.

Monroe Brothers: we fixed the door perfectly! Nary a problem.

Anybody: Who let that pig in the house!?

Mr. Haney To Oliver: I’d never lie to you Mr. Douglas

Mrs. Ziffel: Why didn't we get a cat instead of a pig?

Oliver: May I have a second helping of your Hotcakes Lisa? They’re delicious.

Oliver: I sure miss New York City!!! I wish we'd never left!!!!

The Monroe Brothers: We will never screw up a project again!

Oliver:Lisa, I've had nothing but frustration with the neighbors and animals while you've befriended the neighbors and love the animals so why is it I'm the one who wants to stay here while you keep saying YOU want to go back to New York?

Fred Ziffel: Arnold is the dumbest animal I know! Can we exchange him for Lassie?

Mr. Ziffel: Get that filthy pig out of my house!

Mr. Kimball: I will never change my mind mid-sentence ever again.

Arnold: Oink, oink, I'm the star of this show!

Lisa: I’m going to write a cooks book.

Lisa: A restaurant reviewer loves my hotscakes and gave them an A+ rating!

Lisa: I love digging up the dirt in my Gucci capris.

Lisa: Thrift stores around here have better dresses than those shops in NYC!

Mr. Zifel: Poor Arnold! He needs to go to summer school.

Mrs. Z: Arnold, clean up your room! It looks like a pig sty!

Townspeople to Oliver: None of us here think you’re an idealistic stuffed shirt!

Fred Ziffel - What beats the crap out of me is every other pig we have put on 800 pounds and that little bugger won't gain an ounce.

Ralph - The reason I wear these overalls all the time is I can't find a bra that fits.

Alf Monroe: Ralph, why do I keep having these dreams about living in Brooklyn and being married to an even shorter Sicilian woman named Sophia but having a very tall daughter named Dorothy ?

(in like vein) Alf To Ralph: Why do I keep getting images of this wrinkled short Italian woman who keeps saying “Picture this- Sicily 1921....”

Arnold: "Would you believe it? That Jap on Happy Days stole my name!"

Fred: Arnold just got accepted into The School Of Animal Husbandry at Armour U!

Lisa: "Olivah! Fix de aireeal on ze teevee. Slapshot is startsing in 5 minoots!"

Mr Kimball: I did just see Mr. Haney I’m sure of it! LOL

Mr. Z to Mrs. Z: Let's put Arnold in the barn where he belongs.

The Monroe Brothers: We really fixed it Mr. Douglas and promise it will not break for at least 24 hours.